My Not So Ordinary Life
by ReadingIsForNerds
Summary: Clary has just found out that she isn't human and pretty much everyone she has ever known has lied to her. All of her "friends" were actually assigned to protect her and keep the truth of who she is from her and her brother. And now, the Asmodei have found her and all they want is her and her family to die. The only saving grace she has is Jace but will she forgive him for lying?
1. Chapter 1

Hello. My name is Clarissa Seraphina Morgenstern. I know right? It's a mouthful. Up until a few weeks ago, I was your typical american teenager. I liked to listen to music, hang out with my friends, and I had just graduated high school and was preparing for college. But now, I am in a hole in the ground hiding from some alien type race called the Asmodei who have made it their life's mission to kill me and my mother. Why you ask? Well, it all started two days before graduation...

* * *

"Izzy! Would you stop trying to change the radio station?" I reach down and slap her hand away from the dial. We are on our way back to my house after she dragged me to five different stores to find the perfect graduation shoes. "My car, my radio station!" I say to her. AC/DC's Back in Black is blaring loudly from the speakers.

"Awww come on, Clary!" Izzy whines at me. "I can't stand the stuff you listen to. It's like you will listen to anything that comes on the radio on any station."

"I can't help that your taste in music is limited to pop and the occasional alternative-punk type." I say looking at her through my sunglasses as the wind whips my hair from the windows being rolled down. "I, on the other hand, am an equal opportunity music lover. I don't discriminate on decade or stupid classification of good music. If it has a good beat and or a killer guitar riff, then I'm in."

"Yes, Clary. I know. I just don't know how you can listen to Sia one second then flip to Chris Stapleton then flip to this." she gestures to the radio. I laugh a little at the sour look on her face.

"Because, like I said, I am an equal opportunity music lover. I don't..." Izzy interupts me while I can just barely see her rolling her eyes through her sunglasses, "You don't discriminate. I know." I laugh at her sour expression again as I turn into my driveway. I live in Huntsville, Alabama because my mom works for NASA. My dad worked for NASA too until the car accident last year. But I don't really like to think about that. I live in a two story white siding house with black shutters. It is your typical southern style of house with a rounded overhang over the front door flanked by two columns. It is fairly big and my favorite feature is the pool out back. It gets insanely hot in the south during summer and it is truly the only way to avoid the suffocating humidity. If only I could tan.

We hop out of my yellow Jeep and I pull out the new canvas and painting supplies I picked up while we were out when I notice a moving van in the driveway to the house next door. It has been for sale for the past six months. The last owner, Lilith, was always hanging around my father until they were both killed the car accident. Why they were together, I don't know and my mom won't talk about it; but it's not too hard to figure out.

"You getting some new neighbors?" Izzy asks me.

"I guess so." I reply as I carefully balance my art supplies in my hands. Just then, I see the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. He steps out of the front door in jeans and a white wife beater that is stuck to his sculpted chest with sweat. He has shaggy blonde hair and the most beautiful lips ever. My mouth falls open of it's own accord as I watch him disappear onto the back of the moving truck. Izzy quickly turns around and mouths 'Oh my God' to me before turning back around to watch him appear again carrying two giant boxes. I take his distraction with trying to see where he is going and stare at the muscles rolling under the skin in his arms as he is carrying the heavy load. I unconsciously bite my lip as he turns to walk up the sidewalk that leads to his front door. Another guy comes running out of the front door then, and grabs one of the boxes the beautiful blonde god is carrying. I can hear him saying something to the beautiful man, but I can't make it out.

The other guy looks nothing like the blonde one. He is definitely older and has a mop of brown hair with a small streak of gray in it. He is wearing some professor looking glasses and wearing a flannel shirt that is hanging open to expose his undershirt. They both look up then and notice Izzy and I staring. The older guy nods his head and offers a friendly hello while the blonde one just smirks at me.

My cheeks flare up with blood and I suddenly find myself moving quickly to the front door of my house with all of the bags rattling in my hands. I hear Izzy offer a friendly hello back and I turn around and glare daggers at her as she turns to face me and walks up the way to meet me. When she gets close, I unleash my panic. "Oh my gosh, Izzy. Did you see him?" I glance back over to the house and see him jog lightly out of the front door and back towards the moving truck. "How am I going to be able to focus when he is next door...in his house...probably walking around shirtless."

I fling the front door to my house open and step into the foyer and yell that I am home. "I don't know, Clary." Izzy says. "I think if I lived next door to him, I would invest in some spy equipment. Maybe slip a nanny cam in his room or buy some night vision goggles." She smiles down at me. My friend Simon comes around the corner just as Izzy is finishing her statement and she instantly starts to back pedal. "I..I mean, that is, if I didn't already have the most handsome boyfriend in the world who absolutely no one compares to."

Simon smiles a crooked smile at his girlfriend and gives her a kiss to shut up her rambling. "It's okay, Izzy. If you are talking about the new neighbor, he is quite handsome. If I weren't quite so involved with you, I might have to ask him out on a romantic date." Izzy lifts up her sunglasses and places them on her head. "You, Simon Lewis, are the best boyfriend ever." She says and leans in to give Simon is disgustingly sloppy kiss.

"Okay you two," I say to them. "If you must make out, then at least do it somewhere I can't hear your saliva being swapped. It is quite disturbing how sloppy you both are."

"You are just wishing it was you making these 'disgusting' noises with Hottie McHotterson over there." Izzy snaps back at me with a smile on her lips.

"What's that you said, Izzy?" A deep voice says from the room just off of the foyer.

"Oh thanks alot Izzy. Now my brother has heard you." Jonathan appears just then holding a bag of chips while he licks the artificial cheese off of his giant fingers.

"Did I just hear that my baby sister has a crush on the new neighbor?" He asks playfully.

"No, you didn't." I say sternly to him as I start to make my way upstairs to my room to deposit my things. Jonathan pounds up the steps two at a time and pushes around me to block the stairs. "Oh come on, little sis. I won't say anything." Jonathan says as he makes a crossing motion across his heart leaving a trail of orange from his fingers.

"That's what you said about Jonathan Cartwright. And then the next thing I know, he is over here playing video games and you are making wildly inappropriate 'that's what she said' jokes at my expense every time he said anything." I push my way past him and continue marching up the stairs thinking about my on again and off again high school boyfriend, Jonathan Cartwright. We are definitely off right now and I plan to keep it that way. I just wish he would understand that.

"Oh come on, Clary," Jonathan whines at me, "you can't be mad about that forever."

I reach the top of the stairs and walk to my room and push open the door. "Yes, Jonathan, I can." and I slam the door in his annoying face. I drop the bags and set down my canvas and walk over to my window. The angels of heaven must be smiling down on me because my window faces the house that will now be occupied by my future baby daddy. I look down and see him standing in the front yard downing a bottle of water with a towel slung over his shoulder. He reaches up and rubs the towel across his sweaty forehead while I take a glance down at his perfect back side. It's not non-existent and it's not absurdly big. It is like a baseball players butt. High and tight with perfect roundness.

I am broken out of my reverie when I see an all to familiar flash of white blonde hair walk over the the beautiful blonde and extends his hand out to introduce himself. "Oh, no, no, no, no." I say to myself. "I am going to kill that amazingly large ass for a face that I call a brother." I watch in horror as Jonathan walks with him to the back of the moving truck and comes out with his own armful of boxes. I turn back to my door when I hear it squeak open and see Izzy approaching me to join me at the window.

"Oh my gosh, Izzy, look at him!" I point wildly at Jonathan hamming it up with the new neighbor. "Look at what you did!" I flick her in the arm.

"Ouch Clary! Why do you always have to resort to violence?" She says while rubbing her arm. "And how was I supposed to know he was in the next room."

"Because he has been here all week, remember? He came home from college for my graduation." I turn back and jab my finger at the window. "And now he is going to horribly embarrass me before I even meet him." I move away from the window and fall back onto my bed. I bring my hands up to my face and mumble into them, "This is just bad. Very bad."

Izzy moves to sit with me on the bed. "Don't you think that you may be overreacting just a tad?" She whispers to me.

I slide my hands down my face and look back over at her. "You're right, Iz. I mean, what are the chances that he would even be into a little dwarf like me anyway." I stand up and walk to my full length mirror next to my window to asses myself. Long flaming red hair that looks like a bad halloween wig to a Daphne costume from Scooby Doo. Light freckles dotting my casper the ghost white skin and the height of a dwarf from middle earth. Then only thing I might have going for me is my bra size finally went up over Christmas break to a small C and my non-existent hips are starting to show themselves. "Ugh, Izzy. Why do I have to look like a 12 year old?"

"Um, Clary.." I hear Izzy say but I continue on my rant.

"I mean, just look at this." I grab my breasts and shake them with my hands in the mirror. "This is all I have that separates me from the girls in Jr. High."

"Clary!" Iz yells loudly. "What?!" I snap at her. I look at her to see her pointing out of the window and at the house next door. In the window just across from my own is the beautiful blonde who is staring at me with a smirk on his face. He raises a hand and gives me a little wave, wiggling his fingers. I freeze in horror for a few seconds before I reach for my curtains and pull them shut. "Well, if my brother didn't ruin my chances, I certainly just did." I fall face first into my bed. "Why do I have to be such a spaz?" I groan into the comforter.

Izzy's laughing is _not_ helping the situation either. "Oh, Clary, Clary, Clary." Her hand comes down on my back and starts to make soothing circles. "It wasn't _that_ bad."

I turn my head from my comforter and look up at her. "Oh really, Izzy? He just saw me molesting myself in the mirror. And combined with whatever crazy crap Jonathan is spouting, I have just taken my chances with him from 'if hell froze over' to 'nope, not even then'."

"That's not true, Clary." she says as she tries to make me feel better. "Jonathan might not say anything about you."

I look at her and try to raise one eyebrow and fail miserably. Instead, I just settle for the 'yeah, sure he won't say anything about me to the guy he thinks I have a crush on because he is such a wonderful big brother' skeptical look. "Okay, you're right." She huffs out dejectedly as I bury my face back into the bed.

"Come on, Clary. We still have to get ready for everybody to come over later. You know, the pool party." She says trying to cheer me up. "Alec is supposed to bring his new boyfriend that he has been sneaking around with for the past month. And don't forget the Jordan, Maia, Bat love triangle we get to watch unfold. It is going to be so entertaining." Izzy claps her hands together in excitement.

"It _was_ pretty funny last week when Jordan and Bat challenged each other to an arm wrestling match." I say smiling at the memory.

"You poor mom's patio furniture didn't stand a chance." She laughs at the memory. Jordan and Bat arm wrestled each other trying to impress Maia and ended up shattering my mother's glass table out back. Maia ended up stepping on the glass and cutting her foot and then Bat and Jordan started to then argue over who got to carry Maia inside to get doctored. Maia ended up just hobbling inside while they argued. It was a good minute before they realized that she wasn't even outside anymore.

"She needs to just pick one and put the other out of their misery." I say between laughs. I hop up off of the bed. "Okay then. What bathing suit should I wear? Good old trusty green mamba," I hold up the tankini that comes and ties around my neck, "or good ole' blue?" I hold up the one piece cerulean blue old fashion 1950s style suit.

Izzy brings her hand up to her chin in contemplation. "Neither." She says and I lower both my eyes in confusion. "But I don't have another one, Iz."

"Oh yes you do, Clary. I saw it in your drawer last week." I suddenly remember the yellow bikini that I impulsively bought at the beach last year. It just has triangle patches to cover my chest and ties around the neck and back while the bottoms cover only half of my butt cheeks. "Oh no, Izzy. I can't put that on. I feel naked when I wear it."

She pulls out the yellow fabric and tosses it to me. "You look amazing in it but you only wore it twice while we were at the beach last year." I continue to shake my head. "Oh, yes, Clary. You must. I will not allow my friend to put on these atrocious pieces of fabric that she calls bathing suits." She snatches the other two off of the bed where I threw them and holds them behind her back.

"Iz." I whine at her.

"Don't you 'Iz' me." She says at me. "You _will_ wear the awesome bikini that actually makes you look your age. End of story." I know that arguing with Izzy about anything clothes related is absolutely pointless. The last time I tried to hold my ground, she had taken my favorite paint brushes and held them hostage for a week till I gave in and wore this tiny dress she got me.

"Ugh! Fine. But you can't complain about my music for two weeks solid, okay?"

Izzy smiles from ear to ear in triumph. "I knew you would see it my way." Izzy says as she spins on her heels. "Now, lets make sure your mom bought enough to drink for everyone. And don't forget to order the pizza for later this afternoon. You can schedule a time for them to deliver."

"What time is everyone supposed to be here?" I yell as I follow her downstairs.

"I told everybody 2:30 so have the pizza delivered around 3:30."

"Got it!" I say as we go into the kitchen to check for supplies.

* * *

Two thirty rolls around and everyone is oddly on time. Jordan was the first one here followed my Bat and Maia. Jordan's face turned about three shades of red when he found out that Bat gave Maia a ride. Aline and Helen showed up five minutes later and then Izzy left to walk the few houses down to hers to put her bathing suit on. When she returned, she was wearing an electric blue two piece and looks like she just walked off the cover of Sports Illustrated. Simon is one seriously lucky man to have snagged her.

Everyone has been here for about 30 minutes when Alec shows up with the most vibrant man I have ever seen. He is wearing a neon green speedo and a white mesh top. The towel that he has slung over his shoulder is actually bejewelled. You heard me. Bejewelled. I look pointedly at Alec who is in plain black swimming trunks and a plain white t-shirt and let a smile spread across my face as I approach to introduce myself. Alec taps the man on the shoulder and gestures to me.

"Magnus, this is Clary. Clary, this is Magnus." Alec says shyly.

I reach out my hand to shake his and he grabs it and brings it up to his mouth and kisses it. "Nice to meet you, little biscuit." His eyes scan me up and down. "Nice bathing suit, honey. You will be sure to catch a lot of bees with that honey."

I blush furiously and Alec thankfully ushers him off to meet Aline. I turn to go back into the house and get a drink when I run straight into a bare muscled chest. Arms wrap around me and move to the small of my back.

"Whoa there, my Clare bear." Ugh, I know that voice. I push away and look up to see Jon Cartwright with a smug smile on his face.

"What are you doing here, Jon? We broke up over a month ago. Remember?" I say venomously to him. "You were making out with that Jayda girl in the locker room when I walked in."

He groans in frustration as he drags his hand through his hair. "I told you I was sorry, Clary. It was just a one time thing and she didn't mean anything to me. When are you going to forgive me so we can get back together?" He reaches his hand out to me and I step back. "You do look absolutely sexy in that bathing suit, Clary."

"Um, never." I tell him. My brother Jonathan appears in the doorway then and smiles widely at me. "I invited him, Clary. After all, we _are_ friends." my brother says.

Jon C. turns around and gives my brother a mock punch in the arm. "The only reason you keep bringing me back is to try to beat me in Halo. You are just glutton for punishment."

I shove past my brother and mutter something about murdering in his sleep.

"Oh, and Clary?" My brother Jonathan shouts into the house, "I also invited a couple of my other friends as well. They should be here shortly."

"Oh joy." I mumble to myself and make my way back out to the pool with my drink to see Izzy on Simon's shoulders and Maia on Jordan's and they are having a chicken fight. From the looks of it, it is getting pretty serious. Both chicks are pretty bad ass and don't give up easily. I walk over pool side and pull my sunglasses down over my eyes and watch the most epic chicken fight, unfold. Just when it looks like Maia is about to fall, she grabs hold of Izzy's arm and uses it to pull herself back up and she launches herself off of Jordan's shoulder and tackles Izzy and they fall into the water; Maia on top of Izzy.

"Have I ever thanked you for having such hot friends?" my brother says as he comes to stand beside me. "They are wrestling in bikinis and falling on top of each other."

I shove him a little and he doesn't budge because he is the size of a giant. He is six foot two and has muscles coming out of his ears. Every single one of my friends went through a 'I love your brother' phase as some point. "You're a pig Jonathan." I take a few steps back and sit down on a fold out and lay back and close my eyes. Maybe this time I could actually tan instead of burn. Just as I am starting to relax, a shadow moves across my face. I open my eyes to see my ex Jon grinning mischievously down at me. "What do you want, Jon?" I ask him, clearly annoyed.

He smiles wider and bends down lightning quick and picks me up. I flail my arms and kick out at him while yelling some very unladylike things as he holds be bridal style and jumps into the pool with me. When I come back up for air, he is there waiting for me and wraps his arms around me and tries to move in for a kiss. I turn my head at the last second and it lands on my ear as I push him away with all my might. "Stop it, Jon!" I yell at him and swim to the ladder. My brother will pay for inviting him. I am met at the top of the stairs by Aline who gives me a sympathetic smile. "Why won't he just go away." I mutter to her as I walk back to my chair.

I grab my towel and wipe my face off and look up to the doors to the house...and I die a little on the inside. There, standing in the doorway, if the beautiful golden haired boy from next door in a pair a swimming trunks. His chest is perfectly ripped and he has a very prominent 'V' shape leading into his nether region. I swoon a little on the inside while my brother shoves past me and gives him the 'guy hand shake' and they smile at each other. I spin around and look at Aline nervously as Izzy comes up behind her.

"Oh my gosh, Izzy. What is he doing here?" I whisper yell to her.

"Just breathe, Clary. He is just a boy." Izzy says soothingly while trying not to draw attention to us.

"Yeah. Just the most beautiful boy, ever, who happens to be half naked." I say back. I look down at myself. "And look at what you made me wear. He is probably laughing at me for trying to wear a 'grown up' bathing suit."

Aline speaks up then. "Clary, if I wasn't already with Helen, then I would definitely be checking you out. You look _hot_ in this bathing suit." I look up to her with uncertainty in my eyes. "Really?" I ask her.

Both Aline and Izzy reply in unison. "Really."

'Okay Clary.' I say inside my head. 'Get a grip. You have never let a boy affect you like this before. He is probably just another self absorbed womanizing idiot.' I turn around and see my brother pulling the beautiful boy behind him.

"Clary, this is Jace. Jace, this is my baby sister, Clary."

The beautiful boy named Jace looks me up and down slowly before reaching out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Clary. I saw you earlier when you drove up in your Jeep and then when..."

I let my head fall into my hands to try and hide my red face while I wish I was dead. "I was hoping you didn't see that." I peak back up at him to see him smiling a beautiful mischievous grin.

"Well, it was kinda hard to miss." Jace says.

My brother looks between the two of us with his brow scrunched together. "What did you see?" he asks Jace.

"Nothing!" Izzy and I shout quickly before Jace can respond. Jace just ends up laughing and says, "I didn't see anything."

I excuse myself and grab Izzy's hand and pull her along so I can curl up and die inside the safety of my own home. When we reach the inside, I spin to my best friend who has a smirk on her face. "Please tell me that did not just happen, Iz." She lets out a laugh I can tell she was holding in. "Oh, it totally just happened."

"Kill me now, Isabelle." I move to her and lay my head on her shoulder as she wraps her arms around me. "There, there." She says as she pats my back.

 _Ding, dong!_

"That must be the pizza." I tell Izzy. I run to the foyer and grab my wallet from my purse and open the door to find Kaelie Whitewillow smiling back at me. "Kaelie? What are you doing here?" I ask her in surprise. She looks down at me with a superior look on her face that makes me want to punch her. "Your brother invited me." I move aside and motion for her to come in. "Of course he did." I mumble as soon as she is out of site. Kaelie is hands down one of the hottest girls to ever enter our high school. She has long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes with the bust size of Dolly Parton and the butt of a spinning instructor; and she knows it which is why I can barely stand her.

I slam the door shut only to hear someone knock on it almost instantly. I pull the door open angrily with a scowl on my face and realize that it is the pizza guy. His eyes land on my chest and he swallows harshly. I cross my arms and tap my foot as I wait for him to look me in the face. When he finally does, he stutters a little and I pull the pizzas out of his hands and shove the money at him. I shut the door and spin around into the house and run straight into Jace, hitting him with the five pizza boxes. He swears a little and brings his hand up to his arm.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" I say to him. "I didn't see you there."

"I think I will live." he chuckles. "But you might have to take me to the hospital for this cardboard cut on my arm. Here, let me help you with those." He reaches down and takes the pizzas from me.

"I really am sorry, Jace. Do you want me to get you a bandaid for your cut? I can grab one really quickly if you need it. They are just over..." Jace cuts off my nervous rambling. "Are you offering to be my nurse?"

I look up at him and realize how tall he is. He is probably only and inch shorter than my brother and his eyes are the most interesting shade. Almost like they are gold. I shake my head to try and get a hold of myself. "Because, if you are offering, I am more than willing to accept that offer." He smiles a very sexy crooked smile at me and I blush furiously. "Do those lines work on everyone, because that wasn't very original." I ask him.

"Most of the time." he says with a smile as we walk back into the kitchen. "Why? Did it not work on you?"

"Just set the pizzas here." I say and clear a space on the counter for them. He sets them down and I use the time to make my escape. I stick my head out of the back door and yell "Pizza!" and watch as all of the boys start shoving each other trying to get their pick of the pizza first. I swear, it's like these boys don't have any home training. I take a chance to glace back at Jace who has two pieces on his plate and is taking a sip out of a water bottle. I slip out of the house and tell Izzy that in my clumsiness, I have injured him and have now eradicated any hope of having his beautiful body pressed up against mine. I resolve myself to forget about him and just try to have a good time with my girlfriends. Boys are stupid anyway. That is when I see that Kaelie has sidled up next to him and is giving Jace her fake laugh while reaching out to touch his arm flirtatiously, practically throwing herself at him. 'It's better that way' I tell myself and grab a piece of cheese pizza and join Maia at the table out back.

"So...Maia." I say as I take a bite out of my pizza. "When are you going to put one of your boyfriend's out of their misery? Or are you going to start you own reality show called 'Brother Husbands' where you, Jordan, and Bat all live together in polygamous bliss?" The scowl she gives me makes me bust out laughing.

"I'll pick one as soon as you tell pretty boy over there you have the hots for him." She spits back at me.

"May I ask who this 'pretty boy' is?" Jace appears behind me looking down quizzically. I turn my gaze back on Maia who has a horribly fake innocent look on her face. She will pay for this.

"I have no idea who she is talking about." I say to him and take another bite of my pizza while I am the picture of nonchalance.


	2. Chapter 2

Shortly after we had pizza, my brother pulled out his bluetooth speakers and started streaming some music. He also might have somehow gotten his hands on some beer. Since this is a Thursday, he knows that mom's work schedule has her working really late and she won't be home till near eleven. She is part of this team that is studying some supposedly inhabitable planet and every other Thursday is when they get to have a look at the readings from the data the telescope has collected. It is almost six and everyone is just hanging around the pool now. Izzy, Aline, and Kaelie are swaying a little to the music while Maia, Helen, Simon, and I sit around the patio table playing poker with Jordan and Jonathan Cartwright. Kaelie has been hanging on Jace all day and now she is swaying her hips back and forth while looking seductively at him. I have to give him credit. He has barely paid any attention to the beautiful girl except for the occasional friendly smile and once he checked out her butt when she bent over right in front of him. Him and Bat and my brother seem to have hit it off. And the reason I know all of this, is because I have been pathetically watching him all day.

"Full house!" Jon C. says as he slams down his cards and pulls in the jackpot made of M&Ms and hershey's kisses. I had folded but Helen, who held on, throws down her cards in frustration.

"That is the third time in the past 30 minutes that you have had a full house, Jon." Helen whines. "You have to be cheating!"

"Don't hate the player, hate the game, Helen." He replies smugly. "What can I say, kick ass at poker." He puts his hands behind his head and leans back in his sit while he props his feet up on the table.

I look back over at my brother who obviously invited Kaelie for himself and see the forlorn look in his eyes. My brother has never had any trouble getting whatever girl he wanted and now Kaelie, who he has had many times before, is focusing on the new blonde boy. It serves him right for trying to interfere in my love life and inviting him over. I sigh and look back down at my new hand of cards and it is about as depressing as the last hand. Two 3s one Jack and one 10. I instantly fold. Simon leans over to me and shows me that he has 3 Aces and whisper's "Jon's going down".

I look back over to Jace and I am surprised to see he is looking at me. I give a friendly wave and he smiles a crooked smile at me, one side of his mouth pulling up. He brings his hand up and motions for me to come to him. Before I have time to respond, Izzy shows up and pulls me out of my chair. "Clary! It's our song!" Bad Girls by M.I.A. is just starting to play and Izzy rips my security blanket off of me (my towel that was wrapped around me) and reveals my tiny bikini as she drags me over to the small group of dancing girls. I am not the best dancer in the world but I do now how to move my hips thanks to Izzy's crash course in dancing before our junior prom last year. She taught me how to roll my body and my hips with the music and no one has ever complained about my dancing. In fact, my ex Jon, was pleasantly surprised when I started slinking up and down his body that year and couldn't keep his hands off of me.

 _Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well._

 _Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well._

 _My chain hits my chest when I'm bangin on the dashboard_

 _My chain hits my chest when I'm bangin on the radio_

 _Get back_

 _Get down_

 _Pull me closer if you think you can hang_

Izzy and I are smiling and moving to the music while loudly singing every word. I look up to see Helen has left the game to join us and Jon C. is walking to us as well.

 _Hands up_

 _Hands tied_

 _Don't go screaming if I blow you with a bang_

When the music says _bang_ , Izzy and I both pop our hips out moving to our own little choreography. I spin around and look to the other side of the pool where I see Jace watching me with a sort of surprised look on his face. I shrug my shoulders as if to say 'what did you expect' and then Kaelie wiggles her way in front of me trying to get Jace's attention. I spin back around and see that Jon has moved in front of me. He puts one hand around the small of my back and pulls me close while he bends down and whispers in my ear, "I always loved watching you dance." I pull back and say, "Then go do it from over there." and I point back to the table and step out of his reach.

I refuse to let him ruin my fun and I continue moving my body to the music while Aline comes to dance with me. Izzy seems to have left me high and dry and has taken up residence in Simon's arms. I look sympathetically over at Maia who is practically being sandwiched by Bat and Jordan, both trying to capture her attention. Jordan is in front of her and is very obviously flexing his muscles as he dances, probably trying to get her to swoon, while Bat is behind her and is awkwardly trying to cage her in by extending his arms out to either side of her. I almost feel bad when I laugh at the sight. Almost. Maia sneaks an obscene gesture at me and I spin around to find Jace standing a foot away from me. My laugh stops just as the song does while Jace looks down at me.

"I didn't peg you for the kind that could dance like that?" Jace says to me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask him feeling a little affronted.

"Well, you are the size of a twelve year old." he says as this is proof enough.

I narrow my eyes at him. "I happen to be eighteen years old and I turn nineteen in July. I am _not_ a little girl." I snap at him.

Jace laughs at me. "You have got quite a temper there for such a little thing."

I scowl at him while he continues to softly chuckle. Just as I am about to release a torrent of angry words at him, Kaelie walks up next to me and looks at me. "Clary," she says sweetly, "you didn't tell me your new neighbor was so cute." She turns her head to Jace and puts the straw of her drink in between her teeth while she looks at him through hooded eyes. Ugh, I can't stand her.

"Well," I say clapping my hands together, "it looks like you two have some talking to do so I will just go over here and let ya'll at it." I turn and walk back to the table and start eating some of my poker currency. My brother joins me with a sullen look on his face. "Well your plan seems to have backfired, Jonathan." I look over to Kaelie as she leans into Jace's side and laughs at something he has said. With as much as she has laughed around him, you would think he was some world renowned comedian.

"Yeah," he says dejectedly, "I didn't see that coming."

"You mean you _didn't_ see Kaelie throwing herself all over the hottest guy at the party?" I ask with mock innocence.

He looks forlornly at Kaelie. "I did. I just thought that would be me." He sounds so sad when he says this.

"Awww. Poor Jonathan. Did he get his ego hurt?" I say in my baby voice while petting his hair. "Maybe next time you won't try and intervene in my love life and invite a seriously hot boy to our house to force him upon me." I reach my hand back and pop him the back of the head hard. He looks at me with squinted eyes. "Ouch. What the hell, Clary? Why did you do that?" he says while rubbing his head.

"That," I say harshly, "is for inviting my ex-boyfriend to our house."

"I didn't think it would be that big of a deal to you."

"Well it _is_ a problem when he wants to get back together and won't leave you alone." I scowl at Jon C. who is talking with Jordan. "He has already tried to kiss me twice, Jonathan. _Twice_!"

He has the dignity to look remorseful. "Yeah, I didn't think about that." he says lowly.

"Well I guess you have been punished enough." and I look pointedly at Kaelie. Jace has managed to escape her and is talking with Magnus and Alec while Kaelie watches him like a hawk.

I look over to Jonathan who looks like a puppy who has just been kicked and I take pity on him and change the subject. "So, what's your verdict on the new guy? Is he just all looks or does there seem to be a brain under his golden waves?"

Jonathan looks over to Jace and seems to think about something. "Yeah, he is pretty cool. His dad and him moved here because their mom just abandoned them last year. From the way he was talking, it sounded like his dad just wanted a new start."

I look at Jace and feel a wave of pity for him. Our father was killed and left us behind but his mother chose to leave him behind and walked away. "That must really suck." I say quietly.

"Yeah, it does." Jonathan says. "But he really does seem like an alright dude. I think he will fit in fine with our friends." Jonathan has just turned twenty last week. Since we are so close in age, we have pretty much shared the same friends our whole lives. "Well, he said I looked like a twelve year old. I am not so keen on him so far." I glare at Jace.

Jonathan looks over to me and sees my sour expression. "You get so mad when people comment on your height." he says as he ruffles my hair and laughs. "People can't help it but notice what a short stack you are. Cut the poor guy some slack."

I fold my arms across my chest and pout. Why does everyone want to point out the obvious? I look over at Jonathan and a wicked looking smile begins to spread over his face. Crap, I know that look. That look is the look he gets when he gets one of his stupid ideas that he thinks is brilliant. "Oh no, Jonathan. Whatever it is, just, no." I lean up out of my chair and move to hold him down in his when he jumps up and yells, "Hey everybody!" I close my eyes and huff as I slump back into my chair. "When was the last time we played Truth or Consequence?"

Oh my gosh. This is going to be so unbelievably bad. Izzy shouts out, "Freshman year!" Jonathan grins maniacally. "Who is up for a game now that we are older? I wouldn't mind knowing what all of you bastards have been up to while I've been at college." He turns back and grins at me.

"Jonathan!" I say through gritted teeth. "We are not twelve anymore. Don't you think that playing this game is a little childish?"

He puts his hand over his heart and feigns hurt. "Do you not trust me, Clary?"

I put my hand up to my chin and make a big production of thinking hard. "Ummmmm, _no_." He just laughs at me and bounds inside the house. I get up and follow him, slipping my bathing suit cover up on over my bathing suit. It is just plain white and comes down to the very tops of my thighs and is bunched tight around my chest. Maia comes up beside me as everyone files into the house and leans over my shoulder.

"I can't believe you are letting him do this, Clary." she says with a mixture of shock and horror.

I turn around and face her. "Since when have I ever been able to stop him from doing one of his stupid ideas? Don't you remember the fourth of July last year?" I think back to Jonathan's brilliant idea of shooting fireworks from his room upstairs. He set the carpet on fire and nearly burned down the house. I yelled and yelled at him and referenced numerous internet videos depicting just how stupid of an idea it was but of course, he did it anyway.

"Hmmm." Maia says speculatively. "You're right. Do you think there is any way we can get out of it?" she says conspiratorially?

"Don't even think about it, ladies!" my brother booms from the doorway. "There is _NO ESCAPE_!"

He puts either of his hands on our backs and pushes us into the living room where everyone has gathered. I look to my ex who is smiling wickedly at me and I shudder with disgust. 'What the hell was I thinking' I ask myself. And then I look down to his perfect six pack and remember. He also used to make me laugh quite a bit. And that smile...' _No_!' I shout to myself and plaster the image of him making out with Jayda and his hands sliding up and down her body.

I move to sit in the middle of the three person couch and plop down, setting my drink on the coffee table in front of me. Jon C. sees his opportunity and swoops in to sit on my right and Izzy takes the spot on my left. Jace moves to sit directly across from me in the loveseat and Kaelie almost knocks Jordan over to claim the seat next to him. She plops down, still in her bathing suit, and sits uncomfortably close to him. I think I see him groan and shift away from her, but why would he do that? She is super hot and practically offering herself on a silver platter.

My brother takes the single chair at the end of the coffee table like he is sitting at the head of the table while Jordan and Bat, once again, sandwich poor Maia at the other end of the table on the floor and Simon, Magnus and Alec situate themselves around the room and Helen and Aline sit on pillows on either side of Jonathan. Alec looks horribly petrified at the turn of events and I shoot him a look of 'I feel your pain' while his boyfriend Magnus looks excited by the prospect of hearing everyone's secrets.

"Okay!" my brother's voice booms as he claps his hands together once, "Let's get this started! I will go first." Everyone immediately breaks eye contact with him as he scans the people in the room. I look up at Jace and he is, once again, looking at me. I quickly break eye contact with him and make a fatal mistake. In my haste to get away from Jace's golden eyes and to keep from blushing, I make eye contact with my brother.

"Clary." He says evilly while maniacally wringing his hands. 'Dammit'. "Who was your first crush?" Okay, this question isn't that bad. I square my shoulders and look at my best friend's boyfriend. "It was Simon." Izzy's head snaps around to me and Simon's eyes practically bug out of his head while I hear a few gasps. I put my hands up, palms out. "Calm down, people. I was like 11 and he bought me the comic I had been dying to get. It lasted only a couple of weeks."

I suddenly become very aware of Izzy's eyes on me. I turn my head slightly to survey the damage I have done to our friendship and she breaks out laughing. "Really, Clary?" Izzy gets out between laughter. "Is that all it takes to win your heart?"

I roll my eyes at her and say, "I was eleven. Back then, yes. That was all it took." I narrow my eyes at her and say, "And now it's my turn." and she shuts up completely and looks away. I scan the room for my first victim. "Alec." I say out loud as he glares daggers at me. "Who was _your_ first crush?" His eyes fly wide and he quickly asks me "What is the consequence if I refuse to answer?" I put my hand to my chin while I think. "You have to go knock on Mr. Starkweather's door butt naked." Mr. Starkweather is a cranky old shut-in that lives across the street from me. He is the neighbor that would always yell for us 'annoying little ingrates' to be quiet when we were playing in the street as kids.

"Awww. Come on Clary!" He whines at me. He is quiet for a few seconds then mumbles something unintelligible.

"What was that, Alec?" I ask him cupping my hand around my ear.

"I _said_ , it was your brother. Jonathan."

My brother looks over to Alec and lets a huge grin spread across his face. He folds both of his hands behind his head and leans back in the chair while kicking his feet up on the coffee table. "I always thought I saw you checking out my sexy body, Alec." He says smugly. Alec visibly relaxes after worrying what kind of reaction his confession would get. The game goes on like this for a while, with nothing significant happening except finding out that Bat is wearing bright pink tightie whities. For some reason, Maia's expression was softened a little towards him after that. I actually start to enjoy myself until Jace asks my ex what his biggest regret is. Jon turns his head down to look at me and holds my gaze as he says, "Jayda Jones." I quickly look away and down at my hands while the room goes quiet. Jace, not knowing what that means, asks, "Who is Jayda Jones?" Kaelie leans into him and whispers in his ear and his eyes flick to me and an expression crosses his face that says, 'I really messed that one up.'

Jon C. breaks the uncomfortable silence and turns his attention to Kaelie. "Kaelie, who in this room is the one person you would want make out with above all others?" My eyes instantly land on Jace and bore into him while he shifts uncomfortably. Kaelie gets a huge smile on her face and says seductively, "Why don't I just show him?" She turns quickly to Jace and places a hand on his chest and leans into him, pressing her lips against his. If I thought I hated this girl before, I was definitely wrong. Jordan and Bat make a few cat calls at the sight. I glance at my brother who looks like he just sucked on a lemon and then I glance at my ex who seems very proud of himself and then back to Jace. He raises and hand that I think he is going to tangle in her hair and instead, places it on her shoulder and gently pushes her away from him. He wipes his mouth off and gives an uncomfortable smile at Kaelie who looks like someone just ran over her puppy. Her expression turns sour and she turns away from him as he sits back up from where she pushed him into the couch. His eyes quickly dart to mine and then at my ex who is still smiling maniacally.

Kaelie shifts in her seat and leans her elbows onto her knees, pushing her breasts together and leans over at my brother. "Jonathan." she says to my brother. "Who is the one person in this room that you would want to make out with above all others?" She smiles seductively at him and he smiles back at her. I know what she is doing. She wants him to say her so it will make Jace jealous. "Well, Kaelie," he says lowly to her, "that would have to be Maia." Kaelie surely wasn't expecting that answer and she turns around to Maia, who looks dumbfounded, and narrows her blue eyes at her. I look to my brother and smirk at him while we give each other a mental high five. I look back to Jace and he is covering his mouth with his hand and is obviously trying to cover up a laugh. This makes me like him just a little bit more since he lost a few notches for making fun of my height.

My brother, being my brother then looks at Jace and says, "And what about you, Jace? Who is the one person you would make out with above all others in this room?" Jace smiles widely and then looks seriously at my brother.

"If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't kill me in my sleep tonight." My brother's brows pull together in confusion (which I know he is faking because I know him so well) while Izzy jabs her elbow into me a few times before Jace looks at me dead in the eyes, while his mouth turns up sexily at the corner. "It is most definitely Clary." I can feel Jon stiffen beside me and I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, all the while, Jace has me trapped in his gaze. For some reason, I can't break eye contact with him. This lasts for about 10 seconds when Kaelie decides she has had enough. My eyes fly to her as she roughly stands up and stomps out of the room muttering that she was getting a refill for her drink. I can feel Jace and my ex's gaze boring into me but all I can manage to do is look at my hands in my lap. The tension in the room feels like it is going to suffocate me.

Jace thankfully breaks the silence by calling on Magnus. Jace asks him where he lost his virginity and Magnus refuses to answer. We all look at him confused because this is a relatively easy question. Magnus asks him what the consequence would be if he didn't answer and he sticks with the same consequence that everyone has stuck to since the start. "You would have to knock on Mr. Starkweather's door butt naked." Jace says.

"Okay." Magnus replies with a shrug of his shoulders. He takes off his mesh shirt and then walks outside, to Alec's horror, and marches across the street to his house. Everyone has filed outside and is giggling quietly while Magnus walks up the walkway to his house. "I can't believe he is going to do it!" Helen says next to me. Magnus reaches the front door and slides his speedo down to reveal to us his buttocks and spins his bathing suit around his finger while looking over his shoulder at us. Alec roughly rubs his hand down his face and mumbles something while watching his boyfriend standing at the neighbor's door naked. It is almost dark and the streetlights have just come on.

We watch in utter silence as Magnus brings his hand down to the doorbell and pushes it. Everyone is as still as statues as we wait for the door to open. Just as Magnus is reaching down to ring the doorbell again, the door swings open. "What in heaven's name is going on!" Mr. Starkweather shouts loudly as we burst out laughing. Magnus pops his hip out and obviously says something to him and I can hear Mr. Starkweather's angry shouts as he leans around Magnus and looks venomously at our group. I turn on my heels, along with everyone else, and run to the door. I squeeze through before I fall over on the couch laughing. People have seemed to collapse all over the floor in fits of laughter and Magnus comes casually strolling back in, the picture of ease, wearing his speedo. "I have been dying to do that all night." Magnus exclaims while I double over again in laughter.

Jordan seems to gain control over himself long enough to ask Magnus what he said to Mr. Starkweather. "I asked him if he was the one who called for the stripper or was it the house across the street?" We all burst out into another fit of laughter.

After that, we all go separate ways to avoid playing that horrible game anymore. Kaelie even leaves the house completely; not that I am complaining. The boys move into the game room in the back of the house to play video games while all the girls go back outside for a night swim without the boys. We are all laughing and having a good time just having some girl talk. We even start to race in the pool. Even though I may be little, I am like a shark in the water. I completely decimate all of the girls although Helen comes close to beating me one time.

After a while, Izzy, Maia, and I get out and go sit in the lounge chairs by the pool while Helen and Aline start to make out in the pool. We sit and chat for a while before Magnus appears and walks over to join us. "There is way too much testosterone in there." He waves his hand back and forth in front of his nose like he is fanning a bad smell away.

Izzy scoots over on her seat and pats it. "Come and join us then. I promise no talking about video games or 'doin' girls." She says this in her best impression of a boys voice.

Aline speaks up then from the pool where her and Helen are, "I can't promise I won't talk about," she drops her voice low, "doin' girls." Everyone gives a little a laugh.

"No, but seriously biscuit," Magnus says looking at me, "you were quite the hot topic in there."

"What, _me_?" I say as my voice travels up three octaves.

"Yes, _you_."

"What about me?" I am not sure I want to know, but I ask anyway.

"Well, while your brother, Alec, Jordan and Bat were playing video games and Simon quietly played his guitar in the corner, your golden boy, Jace, Jon C. and myself talked amongst ourselves in the back of the room." I instantly feel sick to my stomach. Heaven only knows what my ex has said. "Your beloved ex was telling Jace about how you and him were going to get back together and that it was only a matter of time."

"Magnus, please tell me you are joking." I ask him seriously.

"I am as serious as a heart attack. Anyway, he kept saying how you two love each other and you were 'the one' for him. All the while, Jace sat there watching the boys play their games and just nodded along."

I run my hands through my hair, something I do when I am stressed, and clench my teeth. "Why, oh why, did my stupid brother invite him? Does he _want_ me to kill him?"

Maia looks at me and asks, "Which Jonathan are you talking about killing?"

"Both!" I practically shout. I realize now that I have apparently not made it quite clear enough to my ex that there is no way, in heaven or hell, that we are getting back together. The only reason he was saying that to Jace was to 'mark his territory' like the dog he is.

"Izzy," I whine at her, "don't let me kill him. I am too young to go to jail."

Aline and Helen have swam over to the side of the pool in front of us and heard everything. "Hopefully Jace didn't believe him...maybe?" Aline says unsurely.

I sigh and stand up. "I think it is time to put to bed any hope of Jace actually being interested in me. With the way Jon C. has acted today, I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting anything to do with me for fear of him slashing their tires or some crazy shit like that."

"But, what he said in there. About making out with you." Izzy offers.

"I am pretty sure he just said that get Kaelie off of him. And besides, he said I looked like a twelve year old. I highly doubt he wants to make out with a twelve year old." I fold my arms and pout. I _hate_ when people make fun of my size.

Maia joins me and stands up beside me. "That's enough obsessing about boys for tonight. I, Maia Roberts, challenge you, Clary Morgenstern, to a rematch in the water."

It's times like these that I am incredibly thankful for my awesome friends. They know exactly what I need. Maia knows that I am extremely competitive and will never back down from a challenge. "You're on!" I say menacingly.

We both stand on either side of the stairs at the shallow end of the pool and wait for Izzy to count down. We hear the 'beep' noise from Izzy that signals the start and I absolutely decimate her the first two laps. She starts to catch up on the fourth and final one. I see this and kick it into Michael Phelps gear and beat her by a foot and a half. I raise my hands in the air in triumph and jump up and down in the shallow end while Maia gives me a friendly scowl.

"You know," I hear a deep voice say from the stairs, "it's not very lady like to gloat so much." Jace is looking down at me and holding a drink in his hands.

"Well, I didn't hear anybody ask you what you thought about my celebration." I say snidely back at him. I climb the steps out of the pool and reach for my towel when he says, "What do you say to racing me?"

I pause midway to bringing my towel to my hair and turn around. "You should know, blondie, that I have only lost once in the past year and that was because I had raced everyone twice and I was pretty spent."

"And do you feel spent now?" He asks raising one eyebrow.

I huff and say, "You wish. Four laps along the pool." I begin to make my way back to the pool. "And don't let your ego get _too_ bruised when you lose. Although it could probably survive getting knocked down a few notches."

He smirks at me and sets his drink down and removes his shirt that he had put back on earlier. "And when _you_ lose," he says pointing at me, "you have to tell me that I am the sexiest man you have ever had the privilege to lay your eyes on."

"Wow." I say to him. "You really _could_ use for it to be knocked down just a smidgen."

He smiles crookedly at me and lowers his head while looking up at me through hooded eyes. "Do you agree to the terms I have set forth?"

"You are _so_ on." I agree instantly because there is no way he has any hope of beating me. We line up on either side of the stairs and wait for Izzy to start the countdown.

"Five, four, three, two," I glance at Jace who smiles at me and then winks, "one, _BEEP_!" We both vault into the water, barely making a splash. I reach the other end of the pool in a matter of seconds and dive to flip and go back the other direction. I push off and get a glimpse of Jace who is a hand's length ahead of me. I laugh evilly on the inside because I am only putting forth 75% of my effort. We reach the other end of the pool and I can hear my friends chanting my name. I flip around at the same time Jace does and we both kick off the wall, cutting through the water like a knife. By the time I reach the other side of the pool, I see that Jace is already mid-flip and I panic. I flip quicker than I have ever flipped and push off with all of my force. I come back up and he is a half body ahead of me. I kick it into my Michael Phelps gear and curse internally as I see he is still pulling away from me. By the time I get to the stairs, he is already standing in the water, looking down at me. "Dammit!" I shout and hit the water with my hand. I absolutely hate to lose.

"I don't hear any gloating?" Jace says to me. "Oh yeah. That's right, because you lost."

My eyes turn into slits from glaring at him so hard. "Did I forget to tell you that I was the fastest on my swim team at my last school?" He says with mock innocence.

My mouth falls open and I close it shut and clench my teeth together as he stands there and infuriatingly smiles at me. "Cheater!" I shout at him. "You didn't tell me that!"

"Well you didn't ask." he replies simply. A very unlady like growl slips through my lips then. I stomp up the steps of the pool and walk to my lounge chair and grab my towel and wrap it around my body. Jace appears behind me and looks at me expectantly. "What do you want now, blondie?" I snap at him.

"Oh, I am just waiting for you to fulfill your end of the bargain."

I can see Izzy, Maia, Aline, and Helen behind him trying their best to cover up their laughing. They're all traitors. The whole lot of them. I turn my attention back to Jace and take a deep breath. "You are the sexiest man I have ever seen." I say lowly through clenched teeth.

He brings his finger up and waves it back and forth to the sides. "That is not what I said _and_ I could barely hear you."

The scowl that was affixed to my face impossibly gets more pronounced. "Then what was it?" At this point, the girls and Magnus have moved forward to hear what is being said. "What you are supposed to say is, 'Jace, you are the sexiest man I have ever had the privilege of laying my eyes on.'"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I try to calm myself. "Jace, you are the sexiest man I have ever had the privilege of laying my eyes on." When I say it, it sounds like someone has just forced me to say that I want to have my hands chewed off by a rabid squirrel.

The smile that adorns his face is almost bright enough to light up the whole street. I start to walk around him and as I am passing him, he says, "You know you are really cute when you are angry. It's like a baby lion's roar. He thinks it's terrifying when in reality, it is just unbelievably adorable." He gives me a crooked smile and I just glare at him. That is when he brings his finger up to my nose and pokes it while he goes, "Boop."

This sends me over the edge and I growl and storm off, pushing past everyone and I stomp into the house. I can't believe I ever wanted him to touch me.


	3. Chapter 3

I spend the rest of the night in the game room hanging out with Simon. He is in an awful band. The funny part is that everyone in the band is really good at their respective instruments until they start to play together. They just can't seem to work effectively together to make a half way decent song. "So, how are things with Izzy going?" I ask him.

"Thing are great." he says as a small smile pulls up his mouth. "I think we might actually be close to, you know...doing the deed."

My eyes go wide and I clap my hands together. "You go, Glenn Coco!" I say to him.

"You know, I have no idea what that means when you and Izzy say that."

"It's from the cult classic movie Mean Girls. This guy says it when..." I can see Simon's eyes glaze over as I am talking. "Never mind. You go, Simon Lewis!"

He smiles sweetly at me and nudges me with his elbow. "And what about you and Jon Cartwright? He seems to think ya'll are getting back together."

I roll my eyes and cross my arms across my chest. "We are _not_ getting back together. I don't know why he even wants to so bad. Maybe he just wants to try and get me to give him my V card before college just so he can say he got it."

"I don't know, Clary. I still think he has it bad for you."

I look over to Jon who is playing Halo with my brother. We had a lot of good times together. We also had a lot of bad times. He didn't seem to think he had to stop flirting or making out with other girls while we were together. There were constant rumors flying around of him being with this girl or that one and he would never let me just show up at his house. He would always make me call before hand and make sure it was a 'good time'. Something about that always made me suspicious. "Maybe he does. But he ruined it completely by cheating on me. I won't stand for that."

"And you shouldn't." Simon replies. He hands me his guitar and tries to teach me a few chords. I get a few down and am very proud of myself. I push him excitedly to show me more and he does. I am so engrossed in him teaching me that I don't see that everyone has moved downstairs and into the game room with us. I look up and see Magnus, Alec, and Jace standing in a corner talking and Helen, my brother, Jon C., and Maia are playing Mario Kart. Bat and Jordan have become Maia's personal cheerleading squad and are yelling their own advice to her that is surely not helping. Izzy and Aline have come to join us and Simon has started playing 'Say it ain't So' by Weezer. He is also singing along and sounds pretty good. His voice is smooth and yet commanding. By the time he gets to the end of the song, most of us have joined in. We all jump up and yell the next verse.

 _Like father, step father_

 _The son is drowning in the flood_

 _Yeah...yeah, yeah...yeah, yeah!_

 _Say it ain't so_

 _Your drug is a heartbreaker_

 _Say it ain't so_

 _My love is a life taker_

The song ends and everyone is smiling. I suddenly feel very forlorn. I look around at all of my friends and realize that in a few months, we will mostly all go our own separate ways. Izzy, Simon, and Bat are coming with me to NYU to get my bachelor's in art and I even think Jordan said something about trying to pursue his music career but this is one of the few limited times that we will all be together like this. My mom wasn't too happy about me wanting to go to NYU but when she found out that Izzy and Simon were going, she eventually relaxed. Izzy and I are rooming together in the dorms while Simon and Bat will do the same with each other. Izzy notices my sad face and comes over to me. "What's with the long face, Morgenstern?" she asks me.

"I am just going to miss this." I gesture at all of our friends with smiles on their faces.

Izzy turns back to look at me with a smile on her face. "You know I think I overheard Jace saying that he was going to Julliard for the piano and Alec has been talking about moving to New York with Magnus who apparently has a lot of friends there."

I scrunch my brows together. "Really? Why is everyone going to New York? That's strange that all of us would all choose to go to the same place."

Izzy's smile falters a little and she looks like she is worried about something. "What's wrong, Izzy? Why do you look like you just spilled someone's deep dark secret?"

Izzy quickly smooths her face and shakes her head. "Hmm. I never noticed that everyone was going to New York but now that you point it out, it is kinda a big coincidence." She laughs a little. "I guess we are all dying to get out of here and stake our claim on the world." She shifts nervously and changes the subject abruptly. "I think now would be a good time to talk to Jon C. and put things to bed for good."

I look over at him and see him disappear around the corner to go to the kitchen. "Maybe you're right." I stand up and take a deep breath. "Wish me luck." Simon and Izzy wish me luck and I follow after Jon. I walk into the kitchen and find him standing in the light of the fridge, holding the door open and scanning the contents for something to eat. I clear my throat to make my presence known. His head snaps around and when he sees me, a small smile ghosts across his mouth. "We need to talk." His small smile quickly fades.

"Clary, don't do this to us." He says in a serious voice. "Don't throw the past year away between us."

"Jon, I was not the one to 'throw us away'. You did that the second you made a move on Jayda. You were the one who had _her_ pinned up against the lockers so it was obviously you who made the first move. If it were her who kissed you, like you claim, she would have been the one pushing you against the lockers." I sigh heavily and rub my brow. "I didn't come here to hash out all of the old stuff over again. I came to tell you that you need to stop telling people that we are getting back together because it is not going to happen."

Jon moves quickly around the island in the kitchen that separates us and grabs my hands. "Clary, I love you. I will do anything to make it better. I was stupid! So stupid. Please just give me one more chance." He has bent down and is looking me in the eyes. I can see the hope in his and it takes everything I have to stay my course. "Jon" I say quietly as I remove my hands from his, "I just don't feel the same way you do. I mean, I really care about you and I always will, but I just don't see any kind of future with us." He stands up straight and purses his lips together.

"Why can't you just get over it, Clary!" he snaps loudly at me. "It's not like you were Miss. Perfect." He raises the octaves in his voice to where it is high pitch to mimic me. "Look at my painting, Jon. What paintbrush makes the leaves look more realistic, Jon. Go with me to the museum, Jon." He pulls on his hair. "All you ever talked about was your stupid little hobby!"

"And all you ever talked about was video games and working out!" I shout at him at the top of my lungs. This is going worse than I expected. We both take a step back and calm ourselves. "You see, Jon, this is what I am talking about. We are just not meant to be together."

He spins around and grabs his shirt off of one of the bar stools and his keys from the key hook on the wall. "Maybe you are right, Clary." he says angrily. "Maybe I will go and see what Jayda is up to tonight." He stomps over to the door and slams is shut as he leaves. I lean over onto the counter and rest my face in my hands. I hear someone walk into the room and peek to see that it is Izzy. She comes over and starts to rub comforting circles on my back.

"I wasn't eaves dropping, but I did catch the end of it." She says quietly. "That was a really shitty thing for him to say."

"Yeah, it was. He was definitely hitting below the belt." I reply glumly. "I think I am just going to call it a night and go to bed." Just then, my mom walks in the front door carrying her laptop and her giant bag that she calls a purse. Even though she is a scientist, you would never be able to tell that by looking at her. She wears light and earthy colors and flowing fabrics akin to hippies. "Clary," she says with concern in her voice, "was that Jon I just saw barreling down the street?"

"Yeah, Mom; it was. I just made it very clear to him that we were never getting back together. He didn't take it well." I move around the counter and make my way to the stairs. "And that is why I am going to take a shower and go to bed." I somberly climb the stairs and shut the door to my room. I grab a pair of pajamas and open the door to the Jack and Jill bathroom Jonathan and I share and turn on the shower. I take my time in the steaming hot water, letting it work out all of the tension that has built in my shoulders. I hop out and jump into my pjs and make my way back to my room. I look over to the painting in the corner of my room that I am currently trying to finish and decide to paint for a while. I always seem to lose myself in painting and it makes the whole world and all of it's worries go away. I sit down on my stool and pick up the yellow. I am painting the sunset that I remember from the beach last year. I completely lose myself in the painting and before I know it, it is one in the morning.

I stand up and stretch out my stiff muscles and go to wash off my paintbrushes. When I come back into my room, I notice a light come on in the house next to me. I look out the window and see Jace in his room walking around shirtless and in a pair of pajama pants. He moves some boxes off of his bed and sits down while pulling a keyboard onto his lap from somewhere else in his room. He rests his hands above the keys and closes his eyes for a minute. He starts to move his hands furiously across the keys, all the while, his eyes are closed in concentration. The look on his face is absolutely fascinating. His brows are pulled together slightly but the shape of his closed eyes is somehow relaxed. His lips are slightly parted and his whole body is curved around the instrument. I see that his window is slightly open and I sneak over to my window to pry it open; hoping to hear what he is playing. I slide it up just a few inches and sit on my floor and press my ear to the crack. If I am really still and quiet, I can hear it. Whatever he is playing is so complex and it is absolutely beautiful. The timing in which he plays is perfect and I can hear the complexity of the notes he is playing. I lean against the wall and close my eyes and just listen to the beautiful music.

I wake up on the floor realizing I must have fallen asleep. I have the worst knot in my neck and the air in my room is humid from leaving my window open. I look at my alarm clock and see that it is four in the morning. I pull myself off of the floor and shut my window and close my curtains. I climb into bed and collapse, wrapping the covers around me. As I drift off back to sleep, the notes from Jace's playing are still floating around in my head and they lull me back to sleep.

* * *

I open my eyes to the sound of my brother's horrible off key singing in the shower. I pull my pillow over my head to try and drown out his horrible singing with no such luck. I drag myself out of my bed and stumble over to the door and pound on it. "Shut up, Jonathan!" I shout out. "You are making my ears bleed!"

I can hear him laughing through the door. "Oh, good Clary. You're up!" He shouts loudly.

"No thanks to you!" I shout back at him and give him the one fingered salute even though he can't see it and I fall back into bed. Why, oh why, did my parents have to have someone so annoying. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I realize that I am not going to be able to go back to sleep. I roll over and see that it is 9:45 and slide out of bed. I descend the stairs and make my way to the kitchen where I see my brother eating a bowl of cereal. Milk is dribbling down his chin a little and I scrunch my face up in disgust.

"Jonathan, wipe your dang chin. It's like you are two years old and are still learning how to use utensils." I say to him. He smiles wide at me showing me the contents of his mouth behind his teeth and rubs the back of his hand across his mouth. "Ugh Jon! Use a napkin for crying out loud!" He knows I hate when he does that and that's why he does it. He swallows his bite of food as I grab and bowl and begin to fix myself some cereal. "So..." he says. "what did you want to do today? Mom is at work until 5 and everyone else is either working or doing boring family things for graduation tomorrow."

"I don't know." I say to him while I take a bite.

"What if we drive up to Nashville for the day?" he offers. Nashville is about and hour and a half away (with the way he drives) and it is certainly not as boring as Huntsville.

"Okay. But you have to take me to my favorite music store."

He smiles down at me. "That sounds like a plan!" Jonathan says as he gives me a high five. I can't help but smile back at him. His smile has always been his best feature. It lights up his whole face and is incredibly infectious.

After getting dressed, we climb into his truck and head off to Nashville. We spend the day going from music store to music store and even catch a performance at some barbecue restaurant by some aspiring singer. He really was quite good and I decide to look him up when we get back home. It starts to get late in the day and we decide to head home. The ride home is quiet and very relaxing. When we are about twenty minutes out, Jonathan looks over at me. I have my feet propped up on his dashboard and the wind is blowing my hair wildly around my face while his hair flaps in the wind. "What happened to you last night, Clary? You kind of just disappeared." he asks me.

I lean up and turn the radio down. "Jon C. and I got into a fight when I told him that there was never going to be an 'us' again." I look down at my hands. "He yelled at me and I yelled at him and then he stormed out and said something about going to see if Jayda Jones was available. I really didn't feel like hanging out with everyone after that so I just went to bed." I look back over to Jonathan again and his knuckles are white from clenching the steering wheel so tight.

"You know, even though he is my friend, I still might have to punch his lights out." Jonathan says angrily. "I thought you and him had moved past this whole Jayda thing and then he goes and says that shit to you, knowing it would hurt you."

"Just let it go, Jonathan." I reach out and put my hand on his arm. "I mean, yeah, it did hurt when he said that, but I had just told him that we were never going to get back together. He was mad and he said that because I had hurt him."

"But still, Clary. That doesn't give him the right to hurt you like that." He looks me straight in the eyes. "Do you want me to go teach him a lesson? I could kick his ass and slash his tires. Maybe I will make Jayda fall in love with me if he wants to be with her."

I laugh a little at his enthusiasm and just shake my head no. "No!" he shouts loudly. "I've got it! You know how he wears contacts?" I nod my head in a yes. "I could empty out his eye solution and replace it with lemon juice! That'll teach him!"

I double over in laughter as he joins in. "I..." uncontrollable laughter, "think I might..." giggle, "take you up on that offer!" Although my brother can be super annoying almost all of the time, he isn't half bad the rest of the time. He always knows exactly what to say to bring me out of a bad mood.

By the time we get home, Mom's car is in the driveway. We both bust through the door laughing, planning our attack of Jon C.'s eye solution that we don't even notice the two people in the living room with mom and we go straight to the kitchen. I grab the gallon of sweet tea and take a swig straight from the jug.

"Jonathan, Clary!" Mom shouts from the other room. "Can both of you come here for just a minute?"

I set the jug down and follow Jonathan into the living room. The minute I come around the corner, my eyes zero in on Jace and who I am guessing is his father sitting next to him on the couch. I instantly look down to see what I am wearing. I have on skinny jeans that are ripped at the knees and flip flops. I am wearing an oversized baggy peach colored tank top that is tucked in the front with large arm holes that reveal my black spaghetti strap under shirt on both sides. The neck whole slopes down to the top of my breasts while the back opens to top of my undershirt. 'Not phenomenal but also not the worst' I say to myself. I look back up at Jace and he smirks at me. It's then I remember he 'booped' my nose last night and that is when I decided that I didn't like him.

"Jonathan I believe you have already met both of our new neighbors and Clary, you have met Jace since he was here last night." I nod my head in confirmation. "Well Clary, this is Luke. He is Jace's father." Luke stands up and gives me a warm smile and extends his hand for me to shake. I reach out and take it and smile back at him. "It's nice to meet you, Luke." I say to him.

Luke smiles up at me and says, "I have already heard so much about you, Clary. Between Jace and your mother here, I feel like I already know you." I look over at Jace with surprise and he is looking at his father incredulously.

"What kinds of things have you heard? All good things, I hope." I say sweetly to him, the picture of southern charm.

"Everything I have heard and seen so far have been nothing short of wonderful." Luke replies.

I turn my head to my mom and narrow my eyes at her. "Seen?"

Mom shifts nervously in her seat. "Well, I might have showed them one of your sketch books and a few of your paintings."

"Mom!" I whine at her. I hate when she does that. It is like opening my heart and showing them what lurks in the dark corners of it.

She gets defensive at my tone. "Don't 'mom' me. I can't help it if I am proud of your work. You are an incredible artist."

Jonathan drapes his arm over my shoulder and leans a little bit on me. "I don't know mom." he says uncertainly. "Some of her early work was a little sloppy." I jab him in the ribs with a finger. "The finger painting she did when she was five used too much orange. Orange sun, orange dog, orange house. And the execution was uncoordinated at best." Despite myself, I laugh a little at him critiquing my work.

"I just wanted to let you know that they will be joining us for dinner. I have a roast in the oven." Mom says while looking shyly at Luke.

Jonathan gets a big grin on his face and pumps his fist in the air triumphantly. "I _thought_ I smelled your roast! You know it's my favorite, Mom."

Mom smiles at his reaction. "Only you could get that excited about food." She says affectionately at him.

Jonathan rubs his hands over his chest and down to his stomach. "How do you think I keep up such a hot bod? It takes effort, Mom." She rolls her eyes at him while I simultaneously do the same. The oven timer beeps then and mom stands up and says that dinner is ready. I set up the plates and Jace offers to set out the cups. Mom pulls the roast out and sets it on the table on top of the chopping block. There are potatoes, carrots, onions, chopped up celery and the best sauce known to man. I sit down at the table and fully expect Jonathan to take the seat next to me. Instead, Jace swoops in and claims the seat. I narrow my eyes at him while he just smirks at me.

"Jonathan." My mom says. "Can you cut the roast?" Jonathan stands up from where he is sitting across from me and starts to cut the roast into to pieces.

Jace leans over to me and whispers lowly in my ear, "Is the roast as good as Jonathan says it is?", doubt clearly lacing his voice.

"My mom is a perfectly good cook." I say back to him a little offended. We all pick out our piece and begin to dig in. I look over to Luke who makes a long Mmmmmm sound and looks up at my mother. She looks shyly down and blushes. Wait a minute. She blushed. I narrow my eyes at her and watch her as she looks at him through hooded eyes and reaches up to nervously tuck her hair behind her ear. If I didn't know any better, I would say she liked him. Like 'like' liked him. I am broken out of my careful study by Jace.

"You're right. This isn't half bad." Jace says.

"Wow. Are you okay? That must have been hard for you." I reply to him. He squints his eyes at me in confusion then asks, "What are you talking about?"

"To admit that I was right. You don't strike me as the type of person who likes to admit when someone else is right." I say innocently to him. "Am I right?"

His expression turns sour and he spears a carrot and shoves it into his mouth. I smile to myself, glad that I was finally able to get a rise out of him. "I have no problem admitting when someone else is right." He says lowly to me. "I can't help that it is just so exceedingly rare that the feeling is foreign to me." I look up at him and he is still brewing. I look over to Jonathan who asks me with his eyes 'is everything okay' and I smirk and nod in response.

"So, Luke, what brings you here to Huntsville?" Mom asks him.

He swallows his bite of food and wipes his mouth. "Well," he gestures towards Jace, "my son and I felt like we just needed a fresh start. I bought a book store near downtown and Jace is going to leave me soon and go to college."

"Is that so?" Mom says and looks at Jace. "Where are you going to college, Jace?"

"I am going to Julliard School of Music. My specialty is piano though I hope to be well rounded on more instruments by the time I graduate."

Mom perks up at this information. "Oh really? I believe a congratulations are in order. I hear that Julliard is an exceptionally hard school to get in."

Jace smiles shyly. "Yes ma'am. It is."

"Did Clary tell you that she is going to NYU?"

Jace looks down at me and raises one eyebrow. "No, I don't believe she did."

Luke cuts in then. "That's wonderful Jace. Now you will know somebody when you get there."

"Yep. I guess I will." He says with some emotion I can't place. The dinner continues with small talk and I can see that every time Luke compliments my mother's cooking, her face turns the color of her hair. I actually think she might be crushing on him. I look over to Jon and catch his eyes and nod my head towards mom as if to say 'do you see this?', but he just glances back and forth between me and mom with this dumb look on his face. He pulls his brows together in confusion and mouths 'what?' and I just slump down and hang my head. That boy can be so clueless.

"I see that you have noticed what I have noticed." Jace whispers to me and looks pointedly at Mom who is giggling at something Luke said.

"Yeah, I guess I have noticed."

"I haven"t seen him smile this much in over a year." Jace says softly. The tone in his voice makes me look up at him and he has a tiny sweet smile on his face while he watches his father. I look back to my mom and try to remember her smiling so much. It was a year or two before Dad died since I have seen her smile so much. My heart instantly melts a little towards Luke. Maybe Mom and Luke will start dating. And if it went even further than that, then Jace would become my brother. Something about that idea makes my stomach do flips in the bad way. Not in the 'ugh, I can't stand him' kind of way but in the 'no, not him' kind of way. I don't think I could ever look at him and see him as a brother.

"Umm, Clary." Jace says and snaps me out of my own head. "You are staring at me."

Crap. Play it cool, Clary. Play it cool. "You, um, have some food on your face." I notice that he has a piece of potato on his cheek and give myself a mental high five for recovering so quickly.

"Where is it at?" Jace asks.

"Um, right here." I point to where it is on my face. He brings the napkin up to wipe his face and misses completely. "No, not there." I say to him. "Here." I gesture to the spot where it is on him by pointing to my cheek. He brings the napkin up again and misses the mark completely again. I huff and instinctively reach up, without thinking, and drag my thumb across his cheek. We lock eyes and I think I see him suck in a breath as my thumb touches his face. He has the most beautiful eyes. I feel like I can't move and my finger is still sliding very slowly across his cheek, wiping away the piece of potato while we look into each other's eyes. After a few seconds, I feel someone kick me and I pull my hand away like his skin has burned me. He pulls his eyes away from me and lets out a breath he was holding while I do the same thing. I look over to my brother, who is obviously the one who kicked me, and he gives me a look of 'what was that?' I very discreetly shrug my shoulders and pick up my fork and quickly continue eating.

We finish dinner and Luke offers to help my mom do the dishes and Jace, Jonathan, and I go into the game room and turn on a movie. Jonathan picks The Notebook because it is one of his favorite movies, even though he will vehemently deny it. He is just a really big, ooey, gooey softy in the middle. When the scene comes on where the couple gets into a fight and break up, I see a tear slide down his face. I nudge Jace, who is sitting next to me on the couch, and nod my head discreetly towards my brother. He looks over at him and starts laughing silently as Jonathan starts to mouth the words to the movie.

"This really _is_ one of his favorite movies." Jace whisper laughs into my ear. His breath blowing on my skin sends shivers down my body. I make a fatal mistake and turn my head to him. Our faces are less than an inch apart and I can feel the electricity flowing between us. His eyes, once again, trap mine and we are both breathing raggedly. He pulls a hand up to my face and I am too frozen to move. He trails his fingers across my face and pushes a few stray strands of my hair behind my ear. He keeps his hand on my face and begins to lean in. I instantly panic and turn my head back to the T.V. while he drops his hand back into his lap.

I don't even remember the rest of the movie after that. All I can concentrate on is Jace's body heat radiating next to me and the electric current that is coming from his skin. I have _never_ been more aware of anyone in my entire life. I am almost grateful when the movie ends. I hop up and say that I am going to go check on mom. As soon as I leave the room, I flatten myself against the wall next to the door and take deep breaths. 'What in the hell is going on' I say to myself. I thought I hated him after he infuriatingly booped my nose last night.

I push off of the wall after a few minutes and shake my head trying to clear it. As I get closer to the kitchen, I hear my mother laughing hysterically. I peak around the corner and see that Luke is in the middle of some story and he has his arms spread wide and is gesturing wildly while mom doubles over in laughter. I slowly back away and creep my way back to the game room. By the time I return, the boys are in the middle of a fierce battle in Mario Kart and I move to sit on the couch far away from Jace. I laugh alot at watching Jonathan's sour expression, who never loses at Mario Kart, get completely destroyed by Jace. They let me join in on the next few races where I surprisingly come in second after Jace, and beat Jonathan, which never happens. His competitiveness is just as bad as mine and he throws the controller down and stomps off like a baby.

"Awww, come on Jonathan. I just got really lucky on that last lap." I say while trying to contain my laughter. He continues out of the room and I look over to Jace who is just watching me and smiling.

"You Morgensterns are really sore losers, aren't you." Jace says.

"I don't like to think of it as being sore losers. I like to think of it as very passionate second placers."

Jace laughs a little. "You know, that doesn't make a lot of sense, Clary."

"It doesn't have to make sense. We Morgensterns are a proud family and we do not come in second in anything." I say as I hold my head up high.

"Except swimming and video games." Jace adds with a drop of his voice. I narrow my eyes at him playfully and he smiles that beautiful crooked smile of his. I have to take a deep breath to calm myself after he smiled at me that way. "Do you want to go another round?" he asks me and gestures to the game.

I smile evilly at him and say, "You're going down, blondie."

Jace huffs at me and throws his head back in a theatrical laugh. "Ha! You sure do talk a lot of smack for such a little person."

I snap my head at him and give him a dirty look while I bring back my fist and lightly punch him in the arm. "Stop calling me little." I say through gritted teeth. He rubs his arm and looks down at me like he is entertained by my reaction. "You are also pretty violent."

"I am not violent." I say indignantly at him. "I like to think of it as being very passionate about not being called little."

He laughs loudly at my statement. "You also seem to be in denial."

"Whatever you say, pretty boy. Just remember to watch out for my banana peels because you are going to be looking at my backside the whole game."

His eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he looks at me with a challenge in his eyes. "You are _so_ going down, Morgenstern."

"In your dreams...wait...what is your last name?" I ask him. He laughs at this. "It's Herondale."

"In your dreams, Herondale."

The countdown begins and I destroy him the first race and he barely wins on the next one. On the third round, I win by the skin of my teeth with him hot on my heels. Jace does a mock announcer's voice. "It all comes down to this, ladies and gentlemen." I scoot to the edge of my seat and lean in intently as the race starts. The first two laps the lead changes multiple times between us and on the third, I run into an obstacle and Jace passes me. "No, no, no!" I shout out as I stand up out of my seat. I can see Jace ahead of me and he is close the the finish line. I hit my boost that I have been saving and just at that moment, Jace runs off the road and I shoot past him and win the final race.

I start to scream and jump up and down! I turn around to face him and he is smirking at me as he leans back into the couch. "In your face, Herondale!" I say as I move to step up onto the couch to continue my celebration. My foot doesn't quite make it all the way onto the couch to ensure my footing and I slip off and come falling down onto Jace. I land on him very ungracefully, and he huffs out a breath of air as my chest collides with his. I am horribly embarrassed and start to apologize profusely when I make the mistake of looking up at his face again. Our noses are touching and my breathing instantly becomes shallow. His eyes break away from mine and he looks down at my lips. His arms come up around me as I am frozen still, and he puts one hand on my lower back and the other on the back of my neck. He pulls me in and I close my eyes. I can hear his breathing is just as unsteady as mine as he brings his lips to mine. They are soft and warm and everything I thought they would be. He continues to kiss me and I lean into it. I bring one of my hands up and tangle it in his hair at the back of his neck. His tongue slides over my lip and I open my mouth to let him in. Our tongues roll against each other and oh..my..gosh is he a good kisser. His mouth applies just the right amount of pressure and his hands start to skim over my body.

He pulls back and he is breathing hard as he rests his forehead against mine. "I have wanted to do that since I first saw you get out of your Jeep." I want to make some sort of smart ass-y remark but something takes over my brain and instead, I say, "Well then, why did you stop." I say in a surprisingly seductive whisper. He crashes his lips against mine hungrily and flips us over to where he is pressing me into the couch. Both of my hands fly up to his face and skim down his jaw. His hands are gentle as he tangles one in my hair and our kissing deepens. The kiss becomes unbelievably passionate as our tongues crash into each other. He pulls away and starts trailing kisses down my neck and I arch my back into him and push my head into the cushions on the back of the couch. My eyes are closed and I let a little moan escape my lips. I open my eyes a little and see an upside down Jonathan holding a bite of ice cream mid way to his mouth like he is frozen in time. His eyes are bugged out of his head and I instantly tap Jace on the shoulder as he kisses his way back up my neck. He meets a sensitive part of my neck while his hand travels to my waist and another small moan escapes my mouth.

I instantly shove Jace away before he can make me make that sound again and he looks up at me questioningly when he sees my brother standing behind me. He jumps off of me and smooths his clothes down and shifts uncomfortably. I turn around and see that Jonathan still hasn't moved and his spoon remains halfway to his mouth while the ice cream drips from it while his eyes are opened wide.

"I...I.." Jace stammers. "I am sorry sir...I mean Jonathan."

I look at Jace questioningly and then back at Jonathan who seems to have been unfrozen. "I came here to tell you that your FATHER is leaving."

"Oh. Okay. Right. I guess I had better go to." Jace says. He looks down at me and gives me a nervous smile before bolting out of the room. Jonathan moves over to me after he leaves the room and falls onto the couch next to me. "Well _that_ is not something I expected to see tonight." Jonathan says playfully. "I think I might be permanently brain damaged."

I punch him in the arm and say, "Don't be such a baby. What do you think Jon Cartwright and I did when we were dating? It's not like we just held hands and played monopoly when we were alone."

"I know that, Clary, but I didn't have to _watch_ it _and_ he was strictly forbidden to talk about it when I was around." He looks over at me and I can tell he is studying my face. "How in the hell did that happen anyway?"

I look off into nothing and say, "I have no idea. One minute I am destroying him in a video game and the next minute we are making out."

"Yeah, I saw that part." he says pointedly.

An awkward silence passes between us before I hop up and tell him that I am going to go to bed. I reach my room and peek through the curtains at Jace's room and see that his light isn't on. I put a pair of sleep shorts and a camisole on and grab my sketch book. I flip to a new page, and begin to draw aimlessly. It isn't until I am finished that I have realized that I have drawn Jace, in all of his glory. He is giving me that crooked beautiful smirk and his hair is lightly blowing in the wind. I set the sketch book down on my night stand and turn off my lamp as I slide into the covers. When everything is quiet, I think I hear soft music. I walk over to my window and see that Jace's light is on and his window is open but his curtains are closed. I crack my window and beautiful music fills my room. I move back to my bed and, once again, fall asleep to his beautiful playing.


	4. Chapter 4

"Wake up! Wake up!" a deep voice is yelling just inches from my face and there is bright light pouring in from my window. The next thing I know, I can feel, who can be no other than Jonathan, jumping up and down on my bed. I groan loudly, although it comes out as a growl, and take one of my pillows and put it over my head. "Oh no you don't!" Jonathan shouts. Even though I am holding onto the pillow with every ounce of strength that I have, Jonathan plucks it from my grasp with hardly any effort and then proceeds to beat me over the head with it!

I shout loudly, " _What_ is your _problem_ , Jonathan?!" He smiles hugely and says, "It's graduation day!" His expression then turns sad and wistful and he fake sniffles a few times as he wipes away non-existent tears. "My baby sister is all grown up. It just makes me so sad and so happy at the same time." He dramatically sucks in a hiccuping breath and continues. "I just feel...just feel...so old."

Even though I was raging mad just a few seconds ago, I can't stop the amused little smile ghost across my lips. "You do realize that you are only 13 months older than me, right?" I ask him.

He laughs wildly and then hops off of my bed backwards and lands at the foot of my bed. He grabs both sides of my comforter and I grab both of my sides as I realize what his is about to do. "No, Jonathan!" I shout loudly but my protests don't phase him in the least. He pulls down on my covers lightning fast and exposes me to the cold air. I stiffen ram-rod straight and groan. "Grrraaahhhh! Why do you have to be so _annoying_?! Give me my covers back!" I sit up and hold my hand out and he balls the comforter up in his hands. "Jonathan!" I say in my most whiny voice.

"Nope. No way, Clary!" He shakes his finger at me. "Graduation is at one and you have to be there at noon and it is almost nine."

" _NINE_!" I shout at him. "I could sleep for a two more whole hours, you jerk, and still be there early!"

His eyes turn down and he puts his sad puppy dog face on. I swear, his mood swings are giving me whiplash. "But I was going to make you pancakes and bacon."

Ugh. It is so hard for me to stay mad at him. It is what makes him so infuriating and so stupidly lovable (although I will never admit to the last part). "Grrr, _fine_ Jonathan!" I shout out in frustration. It's not like I will be able to go back to sleep anyway. Jonathan gives me his big goofy grin and turns and runs out of my bedroom with my comforter. "Jonathan!" I yell out. "You still have my comforter!"

I can barely hear his voice that is somewhere else in the house yell, "I know! And you are not getting it back until you eat one of my pancakes!"

I huff dramatically and roll to the side of my bed. I throw one leg over the side and then the other and practically drag the rest of my body into a sitting position on the bed. I stand up and walk to the bathroom muttering obscenities the whole time about my stupid brother. If he is going to wake me up and make me stay up when I could be sleeping, I am going to need a shower to wake me up. I turn on the water and wait for it to warm up. I sit on the toilet as I am waiting and then the previous night comes flooding back to me. Jace. Kissing. Him sucking on my neck.

I hop up, all of the morning's cobwebs shaken off, and look in the mirror. I flip my long red hair back from my shoulder and I see it. There, at the base of my neck where my clavicle bone touches it, is a hickey. A bright blue and red hickey. And then I think about who gave it to me. Jace. When he kissed me, it was like I was hit with a bolt of lightning. Wherever his fingers touched me, they burned my skin in the most wonderful and nerve wracking way. It just felt...good to kiss him. Our lips fit together like they were made for each other. The way he looked at me set me on fire when he pulled back for a moment to look at me. It was like his eyes had darkened but at the same time there was a fire that was lit behind them when he kissed me.

I have my eyes closed, reliving the moment in every detail. I stand there so long, my brother comes to check on me. "What are you doing in there, Clary?" I jump at the sound of his voice as I was practically fantasizing about the man. "Is there a bomb on the toilet seat and if you get up, it will explode?" His voice is hopeful and excited at that prospect. One of his favorite movies happens to be Lethal Weapon 2 where Danny Glover's character gets stuck on toilet in his own home because if he got up, there was a bomb that would explode.

I strongly roll my eyes at him and say in my most sarcastic voice, "Only _you_ would hope for there to be a bomb on our toilet." I quickly start to undress. "I will be down in ten minutes!" I shout back at the door. I have to will myself not to get pulled back into the fantasy as I glance at the hickey one last time and smile slightly. I shower in record time. I jump out and towel dry my hair and body as much as possible, and since my room is connected to the bathroom, I don't even bother wrapping a towel around myself as I go back into my room. I walk over to my dresser and fish out some underwear and some yoga pants and a holey t-shirt. I walk over to the other side of my bed next to the window looking for my bra. "Where the hell is that thing?" I say to myself.

I don't know why, but I suddenly look up to my window and remember that Jonathan had pulled open the curtains. That is when I notice Jace...standing in his window, it being wide open, with his mouth slightly agape staring at me in all my naked glory. My eyes fly open wide and I bring one arm up to cover my chest as my other hand goes to cover my nether region. Jace snaps into action then and turns abruptly to the side where I see something poking in his pants. My eyes impossibly get wider and he follows my line of sight and glances down and quickly covers himself and then stumbles over something in his room in his haste to get away. I can't help but laugh as I see him fall, his arms very ungracefully flailing around him trying to catch himself on something. I take him falling as an opportunity to snatch my curtains closed. I am not used to having neighbors yet and oh...my...gosh. Jace just saw me naked.

"Clarissa Seraphina Morgenstern!" I hear my brother yell from downstairs. 'Shit' I say to myself. All I want to do is curl up and die of embarrassment on my bed but my stupid brother chose this morning to be unreasonably sweet to me. "I'm coming!" I yell down at him and quickly throw my clothes on. I will have to properly freak out about this later. I run downstairs and into my mother's arms. She was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and when she see me, she begins to cry. I allow her to have her mom moment as she cries and tells me how I was 'this big' only yesterday and that she is so proud of me.

Thankfully, after a few minutes of this, my brother shows up and pulls me by my wrist into the kitchen where a plate of pancakes with a side of bacon are waiting for me. The pancakes are slightly burned and the bacon is crispy enough to be used as a weapon. Bless his heart; at least he tried. My mom and brother keep me down there for a whole hour and a half, talking about what the future holds for me and how they will both miss me like crazy. Jonathan unwillingly admitted that he would miss me when I gave him my sad eyes. 'Ha! Works every time' I say to myself.

My mom finally decides that she has to take a shower and leaves to get ready for graduation. The moment she leaves, Jonathan narrows his eyes and points at me. "We did not get a chance to properly talk about you and, what did Izzy call him...oh yeah, Hottie McHotterson were doing last night. Just be glad that your shirt covers most of that hickey," he points to my neck, "and that mom was sitting on the other side of you or you would have had to very awkwardly explain how you attacked that poor neighbor boy last night."

"I did _not_ attack him!" I shout out a little too loudly. I suddenly look to where the stairs are and wait for my mom to ask me what I was talking about, but she doesn't come. "Like I said," I say in hushed tones, "I did not attack him." I look down at my plate and draw patterns in the remaining syrup. "I just happened to trip and then fall onto him while I was celebrating my victory over him." I say shyly. This did not sound good.

"Ha!" Jonathan shouts brightly as his face lights up with a smile full of amusement. "So you _do_ admit it! You attacked that poor boy!"

"Jonathan!" I say in a whisper yell. "Would you keep it down?!"

"Clary," Jonathan's voice drops low and quiet, "did you rape him? Are you worried that he is going to call the police and report abuse? Do we need to go over there and permanently silence him? You know, no victim, no crime..."

"Oh my gosh." I say in defeat. I put my face in my hands and shake it from side to side. "You are _so_ stupid Jon."

I can hear his soft chuckling coming from across the island. He is clearly enjoying torturing me. I pull my head from my hands and see his stupid smirking face looking down at me. He points to the hickey again. "But seriously, you should cover that up." I push away from the island and stand up to go back up to my room. Just as I am about to turn the corner to the stairs, he calls out to me again. "Clary?"

"What is it now?" I groan at him stepping back into his view.

"Do you like him?" The tone of his voice sobers me up a little. His voice is laced with seriousness and has a sort of protective undertone to it. His eyes have me pinned to the spot, studying my response.

"Um...I guess." I say unsurely. "At first, he was infuriating. Well actually, he still is. But...there is this sort of pull that I feel towards him. I had a good time with him just one on one after you left." I shift uncomfortably. I haven't really thought about if I liked him. I mean, the man is absolutely gorgeous, but looks ultimately have nothing to do with who you are. I stand there for a minute under my brothers gaze thinking when it is like a light switch was flipped. "Yeah. I guess I do like him." I say surprising myself. I turn back around and walk back up to my room. I know Izzy will be here soon. She made me promise her sophomore year that we could get ready for graduation together and I would let her pick out what I was going to wear. It sounded like such a good idea at the time...

Izzy shows up a little while after that and immediately zeroes in on the hickey. "What in the _hell_ , Clary? I thought you swore off Cartwright?!" Izzy is looking at me with disappointment written all over her face.

Dammit. I am going to have to tell her who it was otherwise she will never believe me when I say it _wasn't_ Cartwright. "Jon didn't give me this." I say quietly. Her eyes narrow wildly at me in disbelief. "Oh yeah, Clary? Then who _did_ give you that hickey?"

I take a deep breath and look up to her. "Jace did."

I watch as her eyes fly wide with surprise. I even think for just a second she looks angry, but that emotion quickly smooths out into shock. I am sure I just imagined it anyway. "Hottie McHotterson?" Izzy says loudly.

"What is it with you and Jonathan calling him that?"

Izzy moves to sit on my bed next to me after she sets down her bags of make up and hair products. "When did this happen?" She asks me brightly. I give her every gory detail while she studies the story and gives her opinion of each part of the play by play as friends are suppossed to do. When I am done, she sits back on the bed and is smiling slightly. "I told you the bathing suit was a good choice."

"What?" I ask her.

She rolls her eyes at me and continues as if the reasoning behind her statement was obvious. "Even a blind man would have been able to see how hot you looked in that bikini. I saw him checking you out constantly when you weren't looking."

"Why didn't you tell me? You didn't say anything about him checking me out?"

Izzy worries her lip a little before she answers after contemplating her answer. "Because Clary, he seems like the type to just play women. With looks like his, he _has_ to be a player. I don't want you to get too attached to him when he probably won't take you seriously." She must have seen the hurt flash across my eyes when she says this because she sits up quickly and holds her palms out to me in an apologetic way. "What I mean is," she says nervously, "is that he probably goes through girls like he goes through underwear. Not that he wouldn't absolutely fall in love with you if he got to know you. It's just that, I don't think he is the type to stick around to find out just how amazing you are."

Even though Izzy is trying to make me feel better, she isn't. "So, you think he was just using me?" I ask her. Her eyes fly wide again and she starts waving her hands. "No! I mean yes. No. I mean no. UGH! This is _not_ coming out right." She scoots off the bed and gets on her knees in front of me to look into my eyes. "What I am trying to say is, he is probably shallow and unable to see past the moment. There is no guy in his right mind that wouldn't absolutely fall in love with you if he took the time to get to know you."

I look up at her and I can see she desperately wants me to understand what she is saying. And I do. For the most part. It is like she was saying that he only kissed me because I was the only girl available at the moment and if I were someone different, it wouldn't have mattered to him. As long as _some_ girl was there. But that is not what it felt like to me. The way he kissed me and the way he looked at me scream otherwise. He kissed me like I was the air he needed. But maybe that is what makes him a player. The ability to make every girl feel like they are special until the next one comes along.

"I don'k know, Iz. It just felt different with him. I never felt that way when I kissed Jon. It was like I was alive. Truly alive." While I am telling her this, my eyes are pleading with her to understand what I am saying. To get her to understand that I actually _like_ this guy. Izzy takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly while studying me. "I guess only time will tell, huh?" She says as she stands up. "Now, lets get started." She picks up a garment bag and unzips it to reveal numerous very short and/or tight dresses.

"Oh come on Izzy." I whine at her. "I thought you were just going to do my hair and makeup and picking on of my dresses for me to wear."

"Sorry Clary," she sighs for dramatic effect, "but I will hold you down and forcefully put one of these dresses on you if I have to."

Two hours later we are coming down stairs to a flurry of flashes. Izzy's parents and Alec have come over to take pictures of us before we leave together. Izzy has managed to get me into a white scoop neck lacy jersey dress that hugs my curves. It comes to my mid thigh and the sleeves are made of the same stretchy lace that covers the entire dress. I have to admit, along with it being comfortable, it looks amazing on me. The hair and makeup masterpiece that Izzy has painstakingly completed enhances every good feature that I have. My green eyes look greener and bigger and my cheek bones look high and pronounced while my lips look full and pouty. Even my hair is silky and perfectly wavy. Our families ooh and ahh over us and by the time all of the pictures are taken, my cheeks feel like they are going to fall off from smiling so much for the camera.

We finally convince our parents to let us leave and I walk to the passenger side of Izzy's car. As I am about to climb in, I see Luke and Jace walking over to us. My eyes meet Jace's and I instantly blush and avert my eyes recalling this morning. I can't believe I forgot to curl up and die of embarrassment at this point because I think that would be preferable to ever seeing him again. My hand instinctively goes to the hickey he gave me that is perfectly covered up with concealer (thanks to Izzy) and smile nervously as I look back up at him. I have my graduation gown and cap slung over my shoulder and watch nervously as they come closer.

"I saw what was going on and I just wanted to tell you two girls good luck and congratulations." Luke says smiling widely.

I look to Izzy and realize that they haven't been introduced when my mom walks over. "Luke, have you met Isabelle yet?" my mom smiles brightly as she makes her introductions.

"I don't believe we have met." Luke extends his hand and shakes Izzy's vigorously. "Nice to meet you, Isabelle."

"Izzy" she corrects him. "Just call me Izzy."

"Alright. Izzy it is."

The whole time this exchange is going on, Jace and I are in our own little world. His eyes rake up and down my body as his eyes widen fractionally. He looks back up to my eyes and he mouths 'You look amazing' to me. I blush furiously, of course, and then turn to the car. "We really should get going Mrs. M." Izzy says and we hop the car and drive off.

"I saw that by the way." Izzy says after a few minutes.

I look over to her confused. She turns her head and looks knowingly at me. "I saw Jace mouth something to you while I was talking to his dad. What did he say?"

I blush again at the memory. "He said I looked amazing." A tiny smile pulls up the corners of my mouth while Izzy watches me my reaction. "Oh no." Izzy says somberly. "You've got it bad."

The look she gives me is one full of pity. Did she really think that he was going to break my heart? Was I already in too deep? "No I don't." I lie quickly. I just don't know what it is about him. Ever since Jonathan asked me if I liked him this morning, I haven't been able to think about anything else. Even when he was infuriating, a part of me liked it and I have no idea why.

"Oh yes. You do." she says back. I could argue with her, but I would lose. She would never give up and relent in any argument. And then there was also the fact that she was right.

I look at her as she looks back to the road. We are almost at the school and I need her girl opinion and the opinion of my best friend. My voice is pleading when I say, "Tell me what to do. I don't know what to do. We haven't even had a chance to talk about what happened between us. Jonathan walked in on us making out. I don't even know what he wants. Hell, it could have just been a simple make out session to him, like you said." Oh my gosh. What is wrong with me. All we did was make out and I was practically already worrying over whatever potential relationship we would have. I shake my head and tell myself to get a grip. "You know what, Iz? Just nevermind. I am just going to take it for what it's worth until otherwise notified. A really freaking hot make-out."

I look over to Izzy who has her fist held out to me. "That's right girl. We don't let boys get into our heads like that with a simple kiss." I bring my fist up and connect it with hers. "But he must be one hell of a kisser to make you squirm like that." Izzy jokes and we both laugh.

"Oh Iz. You have _no_ idea."

Graduation goes by quickly and before I know it, I am walking across the stage while my brother yells over the whole crowd, "You go girl!" followed by some weird choking noise that I think is meant to be a whooping noise. Then there are more pictures. Pictures with all of my friends. Pictures with my mom and brother. Pictures with random students in my graduating class that I never said more than two sentences to. I swear my cheeks will fall off by the end of this day. Izzy and I say our goodbyes to everyone and tell all of our friends to meet at my house later for a graduation party. My mom has to go to a few of the parents and assure them that she will be there to monitor our behavior and actions. I ride back to the house with mom and Jonathan in a peaceful silence. When we get home, I walk up to my room and crash on the bed and look up to my ceiling. There are still a few glow in the dark stars that my dad had bought me when I was 6. I bugged him and nagged him until he finally put them up later that day. I also made him wait with me on my bed for the sun to go down so we could see the stars, as I said in my cute 6 year old voice, 'watch them turn on together'. I feel something wet on my face and bring my hand up to realize that I am crying. I miss him so much. This is the first milestone that he has missed and the reality of it hits me like a mack truck. I curl into a ball on top of my bare bed and begin to cry.

 _KNOCK, KNOCK_

"Hey Clary, I brought back your comforter in case you wanted..." Jonathan sees me crying and climbs onto the bed with me. "Hey there." He brushes the hair out of my face. "Why are you crying?" Jonathan was never that good with girls who cried. Since dad has died and he had nothing but crying girls around him, he has gotten much better at soothing techniques.

I turn my face up at him and see the worry spread across his face. "I just miss Dad."

That was all I had to say. Jonathan slips his arm under me and pulls me, in the ball that I am, into a bear hug. "I know, Clary. I miss him too." he whispers into my hair. I let it all out after that and have a big ugly cry; all the while Jonathan is holding me.

* * *

"Clary!" It has been a few hours since my melt down and now that I have cried my share of tears, I feel better. Sometimes, you just have to let it all out.

"Yeah, Jordan?!" I shout back at him over the music that is flowing throughout the house. I am trying to push my way to the kitchen where he is, but there are way too many people here. There are definitely more people here than what were invited.

"You got anymore coke?!" He yells to me even though we are only a few feet apart.

"Jonathan is running to the gas station up the road to grab some more. He should be back any second." As if on cue, Jonathan comes through the front door carrying an impressive amount of two liter bottles. "See?" I say smiling at Jordan who in turn ruffles my hair. I stand up on a bar stool to scan the crowd for people getting out of hand. I can see Mom making her rounds around the house. She caught Nolan Nickerson with a beer earlier and then proceeded to drag him out of the house by his ear. When you have a son the size of my brother, you have to use the weapons you have to maintain control and she has some freakishly strong hands that feel like a you are caught in a bear trap when she pinches you. I shudder at even just the thought of it.

I climb down from my perch after spotting Izzy and Simon making out in the corner and make my way to the back door. I feel like I just need to be out of here right now. I step outside and see a few people just hanging around the pool and I make my way to the gate of the privacy fence on the side of the house. Surely there won't be people hanging around out front. I step through the gate to in between my house and Jace's and am thrilled to see that no one is over here. I lean back against the wall of my house and just close my eyes and take some deep breaths.

"Sssppt!" I hear someone make that sound that is supposed to get your attention. I push off of the house and look around to see no one. "Hey, Clary. Up here." I look up to see Jace hanging out of his window, looking down at me. "That sounds like some party you have going there." He nods to my house.

"Yeah." I sigh. "A lot of people showed up that weren't exactly invited. It's just...too crowded in there. I had to take a breather."

He smiles down at me and says, "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Yeah. Sure." I say shyly.

His responding smile is so bright, I once again think it might light up the whole street. "Okay." He stage whispers. "I will be right down. Don't move from that spot." and he disappears. I quickly run my fingers through my hair and look down to remind myself of what I am wearing. Thankfully, I didn't change out of the dress from graduation. I run a finger under my eyes to rub away any of my makeup that might have smudged throughout the night and check my breath. It's a little dorito-y but all around, not too bad. I see him appear around the corner of his house then and I notice what he is wearing. He has on a plain black v-neck fitted t-shirt and tight jeans that hug his perfect little booty. It is the most simple outfit, but he makes it look like a runway show caliber ensemble. He shoves his hands in his pockets and the motion makes the muscles in his arms roll.

"Hey." I say shyly. "How was your day?"

He gets that little half smile that haunts my dreams and dips his head to look up at me through hooded eyes. "Well, it was interesting to say the least."

"And what was so interesting about your day?" I ask him indignantly. "The part where you were staring at me while I walked through my room naked? Or was it some other part?" I don't know where I got the lady balls to ask him that outright, but I did.

His posture completely changes. He turns from this suave, confidence oozing man, to a shaking and scared little boy who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He raises his hands up and begins to stutter. "I...I didn't...I mean...I just looked out my window and there you were. What was I supposed...No. That didn't come out right. I...I...shouldn't have been staring...I mean I wasn't staring..per say."

I cross my arms and raise my eyebrows at him and just wait for him to finish. "I wasn't staring. It's just that you are just so beautiful...I.." His eyes widen fractionally right after he said I was beautiful. It was almost like he was surprised to hear himself say it out loud. He spins around and places his back to me and takes a few deep breaths to regain his composure. When he turns around, his face is serious and gone is the stuttering boy.

"I am sorry, Clary. I shouldn't have been watching you. It was wrong." His voice is laced with sincerity and his eyes are honest and pleading when he apologizes.

I relax my pose and I can't help but let a huge grin spread across my face and I begin to laugh while confusion spreads over his at my reaction to his apology. "I would do it all again if I could see you so flustered like you just were. And watching you fall in your room as you tried to hide..." I get out through breathy laughs. "That was beyond entertaining." A huge laugh escapes my mouth then and I watch as a smile very slowly spreads across his lips and turns into a full on toothy grin. He steps towards me and stretches out one hand and props himself against the wall about a foot from me, but that is close enough to feel the electricity between us return. His face maintains the smile while his brows furrow ever so slightly at me. The way he is looking at me makes me feel naked in a whole other way than the physical kind. "Who are you, Clarissa Morgenstern?" he whispers fervently as he unconsciously leans in closer. I swallow past the lump in my throat and I have to break eye contact with him. I dip my head down to the ground and stare at the white wedges that I rarely wear.

"I don't know. I am just who I am." I say quietly back to him without meeting his gaze. I don't think I would be able to control myself if I had to look into his eyes again. Unfortunately, he doesn't let me off that easily. I see his hand come into my vision and he touches the bottom of my chin and guides my face back up to his. "I have never met anyone else like you." When he speaks, his voice is soft and quiet yet full of a million questions. "I can't figure you out for the life of me and I have always been able to figure people out. But when it comes to you," he shakes his head and the corner of his mouth jumps with the hint of a smile before smoothing out again, "every time I think I have you pegged, you surprise me." His voice is so intense, it takes my breath away.

"But we just met." I say quietly to him.

"I know. Every time I tell myself that same thing, I find myself wanting to come over here just so I can talk to you and try to figure you out."

I look up at him up at him through hooded eyes and whisper quietly, "Next time you find yourself thinking that, you should just come over and see what you can find out." His eyes darken to a different shade of gold just before he leans into me and gently presses his lips against mine. His lips move softly against mine and my heart rate triples with the electricity he is pumping into my body with his. The hand that was on my chin spreads out and ghosts across my cheek and comes to rest over where my jaw meets my neck. He pulls back for a fraction of a second but it is long enough for me to hear him suck in an unsteady breath before connecting our lips again. I willingly open my mouth and his tongue gently caresses mine in a slow and sensual motion that sets every nerve ending in my body on fire. He brings his other hand to my waist and slides it slowly around to the small of my back and pulls me gently into his body. My hands travel to his chest and come to rest over his heart which feels like it is going to beat out of his chest with how fast it is pounding. The kiss is so unbelievably sweet and sensual that it physically feels like my heart is cracking open. It is a strange sensation that is completely foreign to me and a little bit scary; but scary in a good way. After a few minutes of this amazingly sweet kissing, he pulls back gently and rests his forehead against mine while his breath and mine comes raggedly.

"Jace?" I say softly to him. My voice completely betraying the effect he has on me; shaking violently by just saying his name.

He closes his eyes and smiles softly before his voice betrays him too. "Say it again." he whispers raggedly. "I want to hear my name come from your lips again."

The feeling that runs through my body when I hear all of the raw emotions that come out of his mouth with that one sentence nearly makes my knees give out. I open my mouth to say his name again when our little bubble that we created to enclose us pops. I hear a familiar voice shout my name from somewhere out front. "Clary!" My head snaps up and I step out a little to look around Jace, praying it isn't who I think it is. "CLARY!" The deep voice shouts again. I look up and give Jace an apologetic smile as I untangle myself from him and begin to make my way around front.

When I turn the corner, I see Jon Cartwright standing in front of my house and he is obviously not in his right mind. His eyes are glassy and red rimmed and his hair is disheveled. "What are you doing here, Jon?" I ask accusingly.

He stumbles a little towards me and I realize that he is drunk. "I..." he motions to himself, "came to show you..." he gestures to me, "what you are missing out on."

I cross my arms at him to let him know that I am not amused. "And what exactly am I missing out on? You making an ass out of yourself on my front lawn?"

He narrows his eyes at me and stumbles his way over to me, stopping just inches away. I crane my neck up to his five foot eleven frame and scowl at him. "I am not the one making an ass out of myself." His words are sloppy and they are slurring together. "You are the one who looks like and ass because I came with Jayda." My eyes widen fractionally at him and he nods at my reaction. "Yep. I brought her as my date."

I bring my hand up to my brow and rub it while I take a step back. "Jon, why don't you let her drive you home then, so you can sleep it off."

He takes another step towards me and reaches out with surprising speed and puts his hand on the back of my neck. "But I don't want her to take me home. I want _you_ to take me home...and then stay there with me." His grip on my neck is tight and it begins to hurt. I try to pull away but he just brings his other hand to cup my face. I try to shove him back but he doesn't budge and tightens his grip on my neck.

"Jon. Let me go. You're hurting me." I say to him slightly panicked.

"No!" he shouts at me. "Not until you say you will go home with me!"

My voice raises to a shout. "Jonathan. Let me GO! You are hurting me!"

The next thing I see is a flash of blonde hair and I suddenly don't feel Jon's grip anymore. Jace has come up and has him in some sort of arm hold. Jonathan spins around, with more precision than I would have thought possible in his altered state, and throws a punch at Jace which he dodges. Jace then reaches back and lets one of his fists go and it connects squarely on Jon's jaw, knocking him stumbling back till he falls to the ground. "I think it is time that you leave." Jace says to Jon with acid dripping from every word. Jayda steps out of my house just then and rushes over to Jon on the ground. He pushes her away gently and turns his head to me, wanting me to tell him not to go. But that is not going to happen. I am not one of those girls that get mad at the boy who was trying to defend me from a drunk ex. He had a hold on me that hurt and he wasn't letting go. When he sees my expression, his faces sours and he pushes himself up off of the ground and onto his shaky feet.

"You need to drive him home." I say looking at Jayda for a split second before the images of Jon kissing her attack my eyes. She nods her head and shuffles Jon off and into his truck. When his truck is out of site, I turn and begin to walk back into the house.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jace asks as I walk past him.

"No." I reply. "I need to go back in there and help my mom keep an eye on things." I look back up to him and watch his face fall. I turn the rest of my body back to face him and reach out and touch his hand. "My mom is kicking everyone out at midnight and I was thinking about pulling out her telescope tonight after everyone has left and do some star gazing. I usually go to this one spot in the back of the neighborhood where it backs up to a cow pasture. It's really dark over there so you can see a million stars. Did you maybe want to come with me?" Even though we had this amazing moment just before, my voice still sounds unsure. He gives me that smile that could light up the world and nods his head up and down as he says, "I would love to."

I give a shy smile back at him. "Meet me right here at 1:30 if you are still awake then."

"There is no way that I will be able to go to sleep tonight so I will most definitely be here. In fact, I am counting the minutes till then."

"Till then." I say quietly as I step away from him; my hand burning where he was holding it.

* * *

 **Please don't forget to review and follow! I would love to hear your comments and get ideas for where the story should go. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**-Izzy**

"Simon?" I have looked all over this house and asked everyone and no one has seen Clary.

"I haven't seen her." he replies.

"Alright. I am going to go check outside. You know how she can get overwhelmed sometimes in closed in crowds." I already checked the back and so I walk to the front. When I open the front door, Clary is right in front of me and it startles me. "Jeez, Clary. You scared the crap out of me." I say with a small chuckle and a soft smile. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

"I just needed a minute to myself and then Jon Cartwright showed up, drunk as hell." She says annoyed.

"I thought I saw him earlier." I say to her. "I also saw Jayda...did he bring her here?" If he did, I will string him up by his man parts. He is becoming way too unprofessional.

Clary's eyes drop to the ground and she hugs her elbows. "Yeah. He did." She runs her hands through her hair. That is something she does when she is stressed and nervous.

"Clary." I say sternly, looking into her eyes. "There is something you're not saying."

She lets out a long sigh and then says, "You have to promise me you won't tell my brother. Cartwright was just really drunk and I don't want my big bro to go crazy over something that was handled."

This peaks my interest and I switch to professional mode. I nod my head and listen intently. "I was outside...getting some air when I heard Cartwright calling my name. I found him in the front yard barely able to stand. He started saying how he brought Jayda but he wanted me to leave with him. I told him no and he grabbed me by the back of the neck. I yelled at him to let me go, but he wouldn't."

Jonathan Cartwright has taken it way too far this time. I have half a mind to report him to our commander, Jia Penhallow. "Did he hurt you?" I ask sounding very authoritative.

"Yes, but Jace stepped in." She looks back to Jace who I just now noticed is standing awkwardly in the front yard. "Jace saw what was happening and kind of punched him to get him away from me."

I bring my hand up to my face and rub my brows. Luke is not going to be happy to hear this. He is only a few days on the job and he already has one of his assets out of control. I didn't think they would ever replace Lilith and now that they have found us another captain, he has to walk into this unprofessional mess Jon has made. I was hoping to impress him with our professionalism. I guess I should have known better with the way Cartwright has been acting lately.

"Jace punched Jon?" I ask to make sure I heard correctly.

She nods her head and quickly adds, "I think Jon needed to be punched though. Heavens knows I've thought about doing it a million times just this past month alone."

I can't stop the laugh that escapes my lips. "Yeah. I guess he did need to get punched with how he has been acting lately."

Clary looks around my shoulder and then back up to me. "Iz, I am going to go see if mom needs any help, okay?" I hug her quickly before nodding and then she disappears into the house. I quickly turn my steely gaze onto Jace, freezing him on the spot. I make my way toward him while glancing around to make sure we are alone. "Herondale," I say getting his attention. "What in the hell happened out here? Clary just told me that Cartwright laid his hands on her and I need to know all of the facts before writing my report to Luke."

Jace stands up straight and looks me in the eyes with the air of indifference, the cocky bastard. "Don't worry about the report. I can fill it out. I saw the whole confrontation as it happened."

I narrow my eyes at him when a thought enters my mind. "How did you see what happened? You were off duty today. Were you out here with her?"

"I leave the window to my room open so I can hear any potential disturbances to the residence. As I was resting, I heard the door to the fence creak open and I looked down to see Clary by herself. She looked stressed out I walked downstairs and joined her to see if she needed any assistance. Jonathan Cartwright showed up a few minutes later, drunk and rambling, and then he grabbed her. I gave him the chance to realize what he was doing and let her go, but he showed no signs of backing down. So I subdued him. That is what I am here for, isn't it? To protect the princess."

I fold my arms across my chest and narrow my eyes at him when I remember the hickey he left on her. "And is it also your job to seduce the princess? I saw the hickey you left on her." His eyes go wide when I say this for a fraction of a second and then his expression smooths out while his eyes turn downward.

"I have already told the captain about that. The prince..."

I cut in angrily. "You are to call them Clary and Jonathan at all times, or did you forget? We can't have any slip-ups."

Jace shakes his head. "You're right, I'm sorry. I guess old habits die hard." He offers me a friendly smile which I do not return in the slightest. His smile dies on his lips and he smooths his expression out and continues. "Jonathan walked in and saw my lapse in judgement. I have already been reprimanded by capt...by Luke."

My lips are pursed and I nod in understanding. I step closer to him, reminding him who is the leader of this protection detail. "Oh, and by the way..." I say lowly to him. "I read all about your last protection detail assignment." His eyes shoot up to mine and he narrows them slightly. "You were removed from it because you couldn't keep your hands off of the Verlac girl." His posture stiffens and he takes on a defensive air about him but remains silent; smart boy. "You know that Clary has been promised to Sebastian Verlac and they are supposed to meet in New York where they will begin a relationship. It would not be a wise move to have your fun with Clary like you did with his sister Sophie Verlac. I doubt the commander would be willing to overlook a second offense no matter how talented of a fighter you are."

He squares his shoulders and nods his head in understanding. "It won't happen again." Jace says with conviction even though his eyes say otherwise. I spin on my heels and walk back into the house. I can't believe the shit hole my team has dug itself into in the past few weeks. I hated that Jon was forced to break Clary's heart by letting her walk in on him kissing that human. 'But it had to be done' I tell myself. The peace between the people of our race depends on her marrying Sebastian. The monarchy matrimonialy combining with the elected leaders of our world was agreed upon before we were forced to leave. It the is key to uniting our people. Without a united front, we will never be able to return and take back our home from the Asmodei. When they attacked our world, we lost the war because our race was too busy fighting amongst ourselves. The treaty was agreed upon and signed that the children of the monarchy and the elected consul would marry when they came of age and unite the people while we were in hiding and reproducing to build our race up again here on Earth. So much is riding on this and here comes the pretty boy who could mess it all up. I will have to keep an extra close watch on him. "I really need a drink." I mutter and then hurl myself back into the party.

* * *

 **-Clary**

"Okay, everybody! It's time to go home!" Mom shouts over the crowd. Groans and mumbling can be heard as mom, or as Jonathan likes to call her when she gets like this, 'The fun Nazi', pushes everyone out of the house. When everyone leaves, save Izzy and Simon, we survey the damage which really isn't that bad considering the amount of people that were here. Jonathan and I pick up all of the cups while Mom vacuums and Izzy and Simon clean the kitchen. With the five of us cleaning, it only takes forty-five minutes to put the house back in order. Izzy and Simon leave while Mom and Jonathan sluggishly stomp upstairs to their rooms. Within minutes, I can hear my brother's demonic snoring vibrating the walls and my mother's light turns off in her room. I go into my room and make sure the curtains are closed, this time, before changing into a pair of jeans and a fitted green scoop neck t-shirt after trying a few things on. I think it shows just the right amount of boobage. Not too much to be obvious, but just enough to say 'hey, how you doin'.'

I look at the time on my phone and see that it is 1:15 and my heart rate picks up and my hands get all clammy. I am suddenly very nervous and wonder if he would think I was a coward if I backed out now. I sneak over to my window and peak through the curtains to look at Jace's window. His curtains are pulled shut but the light in his room is on and I can see the shadow of him moving around in his room. From what I can tell, he slips on a shirt and walks somewhere else in his room and stands there for a second and then takes his shirt off. He then walks back to where he was before and then puts on another shirt and repeats this process two more times. That is when I realize he is trying to decide what to wear. If he didn't care, then I don't think he wouldn't be putting in this much effort. He must be nervous.

I smile hugely at this and it helps put my mind at ease. Jace is actually nervous for...our date if that is what you want to call it. I watch him for a few more minutes until he seems to settle on a shirt and then turn and go and grab my mom's huge telescope from the hall closet and a king size blanket and slowly creep downstairs. My mom absolutely hates when I do this which is why I haven't done it in a while even though it is one of my favorite things to do. I take a deep breath and then sneak clumsily out the front door with my arms full of the telescope. By the time I am pulling the front door shut, Jace is there and taking the telescope out of my hands. He smiles down at me and I smile back before looking down to see what shirt he picked to wear. My mouth turns up a little when I see that he is wearing a dark blue v-neck fitted t-shirt. It is practically the same shirt he was wearing earlier, just a different color. Even in the dark of the night, the blue of the shirt compliments his skin perfectly.

"I like your shirt." I say smiling at my own little secret of watching him change a million times.

He glances down at his shirt and then at my shirt, his eyes scanning me and lingering on certain parts longer than others. "I like _your_ shirt." Jace says while giving me his heart melting crooked smile. I swoon a little internally for a second and then regain my composure and break eye contact. "So, are you ready to go?" I ask him.

He balances the telescope in one arm and then I see him pull out a brown paper bag while looking at me unsurely. "I didn't know when the last time you ate was so I made us some cheese sandwiches and an apple."

I look back up to him feeling especially touched by the simple gesture. "It's been a while since I have eaten anything." I say to him.

His insecure smile turns into a small real one and he gestures awkwardly towards the street while holding the telescope and says, "Lead the way."

I grab the bags from him and carry the blanket and food while he carries the telescope and it's stand and follows me silently through the neighborhood. It is a relatively short walk, about 7 to 10 minutes, when we finally reach the edge of the cow pasture. I walk up to the barb wire fence and walk over to where the owner has tied on a little door and untangle the wire and push open the makeshift door. Jace looks at me with surprise on his face and walks through. We move a little ways away from the lights of the street and I stop to spread out the blanket.

"I didn't take you for the type to lure me into breaking the law." he says coyly. I look back up at him questioningly and he just smiles. "Do you trespass often or do you sometimes moonlight as a burglar also?"

I roll my eyes, _hard_ , and then start to set up the stand to the telescope. "And I didn't take you for such a prude." I say playfully back at him.

He scoffs hard and loud. "Ha! If you only new how many rules I am breaking right now just to be here with you."

"Oh. Is your dad really strict?" I ask him.

He huffs a little at my question. "You could say that."

I finish setting up the base and fold my arms at him and raise my brows at him because I can't raise just one. "Are you scared, Jace? Do you want me to walk you back home before you get caught?" I am challenging him to stay and he knows it. He squares his jaw and shoulders and then folds his arms across his chest. "No. I think I will stay right here. I like to live dangerously." he says playfully with that damn crooked smile again.

I gesture for him to set the telescope on its stand and I take a few minutes to adjust it and find what I am looking for. You can't see it with the naked eye and you have to know what you are looking for to be able to find it. I motion for Jace to come over and look into the eye piece at a light shining in the sky. As he is looking, I begin to tell him what it is. "That is the planet my mom is studying." His head turns sharply back to me as his eyes hold some emotion that I can't place. It's somewhere between surprise and longing and adoration while I continue to tell him about it. "It is approximately fifty light years away and orbits a sun very similar to ours. It also has only one moon and there are signs of water on the surface." I sigh and look up at where the non-visible planet should be in the sky. "Do you think there could be aliens inhabiting other planets like that one around our galaxy?" I ask Jace wistfully.

He sits back next to me on the blanket, less than a foot away, and looks back up to the sky. "I do." he says with conviction. "The universe is too big for us to be the only intelligent beings anywhere. In fact, I think only a stupid person would think that humans were the only ones." He looks over at me and I look back at him. "I know there is life out there. The human race either hasn't found it yet or are too blind to see it." He gives me a little smile and then looks back up to the sky.

I take this time to look at him even though I am pretty sure he feels my gaze in the side of his face. His hair is this golden blonde color that is a little shaggy around his face but isn't so long that it would be considered long. It is always that perfect state between messy and neat making him look like he just effortlessly looks this good. His cheekbones are pronounced, but not too sharp and the shape of his nose and lips are perfect. And don't even get me started on his eyes. They always seem to trap me in their gaze without trying. He turns his head back to me and I can see the look in his eyes change when he sees my expression. My lips part slightly and I begin to lean into him. I see his eyes darken and I look down at his lips just as he looks down at mine and then he kisses me. He brings his hand up to my face and gently drags his thumb across my cheek leaving a trail of the wonderful burning sensation. After just a few seconds, he pulls back and looks down at me. I can see his pulse pounding in his throat and it is racing just like mine.

I begin to lean back into him again when he pulls away. I am sure a little hurt crosses my face but either he doesn't see it or he decides to ignore it. He leans forward and reaches for the paper bags and pulls out two cheese sandwiches. He tosses one to me and I catch it. "I have to tell you, Clary" he says playfully, "you just might absolutely fall in love with me after you take a bite of that sandwich. I make the world's best cheese sandwiches."

I raise my brows at him in a surprised manor. "Oh really?" I say back. "And what do you exactly put on these sandwiches that makes them so unbelievable?" I bring the sandwich up to my mouth and take a bite.

"I toast the bread in the toaster and then I pull out two slices of pre-wrapped cheese and then put it in between the toasted bread and then, voila! The world's best cheese sandwich!"

I almost choke on the mediocre sandwich in laughter. When I get done laughing and am able to speak, I shove him in the shoulder lightly with mine. "It sounds like you went through a ton of trouble to impress me with your sandwich making skills."

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "What can I say? I had to find some way to impress the incredibly hard to impress Clary Morgenstern." He raises one eyebrow and then lowers his voice to a deeper tenor. "Is it working?" he asks.

I thank the heavens that it is such a dark night as I blush furiously and nod my head. His responding smile is so bright that I am sure you could see it from a mile away. And then a fraction of a second later, it falters and then he looks away and clears his throat as he takes a bite of his sandwich. I don't know what happened. One second I thought he was going to kiss me again and then his whole expression changes. Before I can read too much into it, he raises his hand and points into the sky. "Tell me about that constellation."

I look up to where he is pointing and see Cassiopeia. The night goes on like that for a while. Him asking questions and me answering to the best of my ability. He occasionally makes a joke that usually has me rolling on the ground with laughter. And somehow I manage to make him laugh a lot too. Before I know it, it is almost four-thirty in the morning. By this point, we have laid back onto the blanket next to each other, our arms touching from shoulder to elbow, and are just talking about anything and everything. My art or his piano. Our favorite shows as children or just swapping funny stories. I really don't want to go home, but I know I have to. We fell into a comfortable silence a few minutes ago and I am too afraid to break it. He only kissed me that one time even though I could see that he wanted to do it a lot more after that. I don't know what is holding him back.

I look over to him and decide that I shouldn't wait for him to make a move again. I stare at him for a minute, willing him to look at me. When he finally meets my eyes with his, a lazy smile forms across his lips. I prop myself up on my elbow and grow some lady balls and lean into him to his surprise. I press my lips against his while I rest one hand on his chest and feel his heart speed up and beat harder. His lips are hesitant and hard at first and I almost pull back until he brings his hand up and puts it on the back of my neck. His lips soften and then he leans up and presses me back against the blanket; his hand creating a pillow for my head. His tongue slowly slides in my mouth and meets mine in a sensual dance. I bring my other hand up into his hair and fist it in my hand as the one on his chest slides up his body, eliciting a moan from him, and comes to rest on the side of his face. In the matter of a second, the kiss turns ferocious. Our lips are crashing together roughly and I am biting his lower lip while our hands travel roughly up and down each other's bodies.

In the year and three months that Jon Cartwright and I went out, I _never once_ felt this way when kissing him. Jace sets my skin on fire and takes my breath away when he kisses me. My heart beats like it has never beat before and I feel truly alive. It's like I was living without air and then he came along and I was finally able to breathe. My heart is soaring as he trails his hot open mouthed kisses down my jaw and onto my neck. I push my head down into the ground and close my eyes as the sensation of his lips on my skin overwhelms me. I barely realize what I am doing as I pull his shirt over his head and then lift myself up to remove mine. He brings his mouth back down to mine as one of his hands slide up and grabs me on top of my bra. I let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan into his mouth and then he brings his mouth down to kiss the tops of my breasts while my hands tangle themselves in his hair. Just as I arch my back into him, he sits up abruptly straddling me and closes his eyes hard, squinting them until they are barely visible. He brings his hand up to run his fingers through his hair and takes a few deep ragged breaths.

I prop myself up on my elbows, acutely aware that I am in just a bra from the waist up, and ask him, "Did I do something wrong?" When my voice comes out, it is unsure and shy.

He answers me without opening his eyes. "No Clary. You did nothing wrong."

I reach up and press my hand flat against his hard stomach. "Then what is it?"

He opens his eyes then and looks down at me. His eyes are filled with pain and longing and anger; though I don't feel like his anger is directed towards me. "We shouldn't be doing this, Clary."

I furrow my brows in confusion and ask, "Why not? I like you and you like me. Right?" My voice betrays my vulnerable state and shakes uncertainly.

He swings one leg over and off of me and reaches for his shirt and looks away from me. "Sometimes that just isn't what matters." he says quietly.

Where I felt confident and adored before in just my bra, I now feel shy and insecure. I quickly snatch up my shirt and bring it hurriedly down and over my torso. "What is that supposed to mean, Jace?" I say with and edge to my voice. My embarrassment is quickly turning into anger.

Jace has his shirt on now and is standing up and picking up our sandwich bags. "It means that we shouldn't be doing this."

Embarrassment and frustration flows freely inside of me at his words and it makes me angry. And when I am angry and frustrated, I cry which then in turn makes me more angry and frustrated creating an embarrassing cycle. I turn my head away as the first tear escapes my eyes and I angrily wipe it away. I push myself off of the ground and begin to take down the telescope; unscrewing it from its base. Jace walks up and lifts the telescope off of its base and sees my tear streaked face. His eyes widen a little with surprise before some other emotion takes its place. If I didn't know any better, I would think that the emotion I saw on his face before he turned away was remorse mixed with regret. But Izzy was probably right. He is just a player and for whatever reason, he decided he didn't want me or the challenge to get me to give myself to him had been won and therefore the fun was over.

I hastily snatch up the blanket and fold it while Jace stands a little away from me with his back to me. I grab the blanket in one hand and the stand in the other while Jace holds the telescope. I stomp past him and he reaches out to grab the stand. "Here. Let me carry that for you."

I turn my icy glare on him and say, "No. I can manage just fine without you." I am not sure if I meant it in more than one way but it is clear that he took it that way. I turn towards the fence and march my way back home. The whole way back, there is an uncomfortable silence between us; neither of us willing to break it. When we reach my door, I swing it open slowly and set the stand down inside and then take the telescope from Jace's arms without looking at him. Just as I am about to shut the door, he reaches out to stop it and I look up to meet his eyes for the first time since the we were in the field.

"Look, Clary," he says running his hand through his hair. "I am sorry about that. It's just that I can't be with you...like that."

I sigh heavily and then say, "Jace, you don't have to explain. Izzy was right about you. She said that you would probably use me until you got bored with me and then just toss me aside. Little did I know that you would get bored with me in the _middle of making out with me_ or whatever we were doing. Congratulations Jace. You won. You got me in my bra in record time for me. You should be proud that you conquered me with such ease. No other guy has been able to fool me so quickly before."

Jace shakes his head vigorously back and forth while he raises his hands in an apologetic way. "No, Clary. That's not what this is." he says urgently.

"Then what is it?" I say angrily back at him.

"There are so many things that you don't understand that are in play here." His statement confuses me. "I think I can follow along so why don't you try me." I answer him.

He brings his hands down to prop them on his hips angrily and spins around and paces away before turning around and coming back to stand in front of me. "Believe me when I say that I wish I could tell you, Clary. But I can't and that is why _we_ can never happen."

"Then why did you even bother with me in the first place if you knew that you couldn't be with me?"

His eyes focus on me with such intensity that I suddenly feel completely naked even though I am fully clothed. "Because I can't help myself when I am around you. I have never felt so out of control in my life and if I am being honest, it scares me. Since the first time I saw you, I haven't been able to think about anything else. Your green eyes have haunted me every waking and sleeping hour since then. I admire you tenacity and when you are angry, it lights this fire in your eyes and turns them an even brighter shade of green. Your touch sets my skin on fire and when I kiss you, the entire world could burn down to ashes around me and I wouldn't even know it. And every time I talk to you, I don't ever want it to stop." he grunts in frustration and turns back away from me and paces away.

I am utterly stunned at what he is saying to me. Here he is spilling his guts to me and I am realizing that I feel the same exact way. He has consumed every corner of my brain and taken up residence on the back of my eyelids. Without even thinking about moving, I find myself walking towards him and I grab him by the arm and spin him around. His eyes meet mine and I attack him. I pull his face down to mine and kiss him with every one of the emotions that are racing through me right now. Fear, anger, desire, want, desperation, need, love...love. He grabs me around my back and squishes me into him, molding my body to his every curve. Our kiss is angry and desperate and we are gasping for breath as we slide our tongues and lips across one another's. The next thing I know, his hands slide down to my backside and he lifts me up and I wrap my legs tightly around his waist; locking my ankles together. His arms slide under my shirt and his hands roughly drag across my skin as I slide my hands up the sleeves of his shirt and dig my fingers into his back. A growling noise escapes his throat and he pushes me up against the siding of my house. I can feel my heart beating and it feels like Jace has opened it up and taken up residence in my four chambers.

It is in that moment that I realize I love him.

I don't know how or why it happened so fast. I have only known him for 3 days for crying out loud! But there is no mistaking the feeling that is coursing through my veins. Our kissing slows slightly and takes on a desperate yet tender quality. Our breathing is ragged and we haven't broken apart not once. A tear escapes my eyes as the impossibility of the entire situation confounds me. This man just walked into my life and within a matter of days, has taken it and turned it into something completely different. He has flipped a switch in me and now I actually feel alive as where I was just on auto pilot before. He pulls away and I can see his eyes are filled with unshed tears. I bring my hands up to cup his face as he sets me down. Before I can ask him what is wrong, I see something shatter in his eyes as he says, "I'm sorry." and turns and walks away.

* * *

 **I am going to try and give you some insight as to what is going on behind Clary's back and the complexity of her situation. If you are confused, just please be patient as everything will explain itself in the next few chapters. Thank you _SO_ much for reading this far and I hope you stick around to find out what is going to happen. Don't forget to follow and review!**


	6. Chapter 6

I stand there stunned. Why was he leaving? Why did he say he was sorry? Deep down I know why, but I won't let that seed grow when I have just realized and accepted the fact that I am actually in love with him. I scoff again at the unlikeliness of it all.

He doesn't turn around at all as he walks away and disappears into his house. I rush into my house and softly run upstairs and into my room. I don't even bother turning on my light and I run to the window and throw my curtains open and look to his window. The light is off so I back up to my bed and sit and wait. Five minutes go by, then ten with still no sign of life in his room. Ten minutes soon turn into twenty and that is when a knot starts to form in my stomach. Surely if he had taken a shower he would have been done by now. I tear runs down my face and I scoot back onto my bed and lay down still with his window in view. A few more tears slip down my face as I start to drift off to sleep.

* * *

"Clary, honey?" I roll over to see Mom poking her head in the door. "Are you ready to get up yet?" she says softly. I stretch and rub my eyes and roll over to face my alarm clock and it says that it is 9:23 a.m. and I groan. Mom moves into my room and sits on my bed which is not a good sign. She never does that. I roll back the other way to face her and see that she has her stoic face on. "I see that you went out after the party last night and took my telescope."

Last night (or this morning) comes flooding back. Jace and the sandwiches and then making out...twice. Realizing I am in love with him and then him saying he was sorry and walking away. I left the telescope by the front door when I ran upstairs to wait for him. I sit up straight as a board as everything comes back to me. "Whoa there, Clary. Why do you look so panicked?" Mom asks me with worry on her face. "I am upset that you left the house at an insane hour by yourself and walked the streets, but I am not _that_ upset for you to look so panicked."

I hear a car door shut outside and I hop up and run to the window. I look out and see Jace shoving a box into the backseat of his car. Panic shoots like electricity through my blood. He can't leave when I just fell in love with him. Not after last night. I turn on my heels and run out of my room. When I reach the stairs, I can hear my mom asking me where I was going but I don't even slow down. I run to the front door and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that is in the foyer as I am reaching for the doorknob. I quickly scrub the black marks under my eyes away and hastily smooth down my hair and _then_ I bolt through the front door just as I see Jace walking to the drivers side door. "Jace!" I shout. His head shoots up like a canon and he locks eyes with me. I hold his gaze as I am walking to him. I get half way there when he drops my gaze and opens the car door to get in.

"Jace!" I say as I close the last few feet between us. He sits down in his car and shuts the door. Thankfully his window is down. "Where are you going, Jace?" If I was hoping to disguise the panic I am feeling with keeping a calm voice, I fail miserably and it comes out high pitched and breathy. Just then, Luke appears out of nowhere and says, "He decided to leave early for Julliard."

I look back down at him and he is looking straight ahead gripping the steering wheel. "Is that true?" I ask him. He clenches his jaw and then turns and looks me in the eyes. "Yes. I am leaving today."

My heart falls into my stomach at his words and I feel the breath sucked out of me. He turns his face downwards and starts his car. "But what about last night? Are you leaving because of me?" Please say no, please say no...

"No, Clary. I am leaving because I just want to go ahead and get settled before the fall semester starts." Jace says cooly.

My anger at him bubbles up and explodes. "Liar!" I shout at him. Just then, I can hear my mom step outside and say, "Clary, what's going on?" in her motherly concerned voice.

Jace looks over at me and his eyes give him away for a split second. I can see him break a little on the inside before he smooths out his expression. I step closer and bend over to the window and place my hand on top of his hand that is gripping the steering wheel with incredible strength. When I speak, my voice is soft and pleading. "Jace. Don't do this. Don't run away from us. I'm scared too."

His eyes betray him again for just a split second and I see his feelings for me as plain as day before they turn to stone again. "Clary, please just back away. I don't want to run over your feet."

I pull my hand away from his like it burned me, but not in the good way. I stand up slowly and I can feel a lump in my throat growing. I glance up and see that Luke is looking at me with pity in his eyes while my mom walks up beside me in her house robe and asks me again what is going on. She steps around and sees my face and then steps in front of me. "Clary, tell me what is wrong." she says slightly panicked. Behind her, I can see Jace put his car in reverse and start to back out of the driveway. I know my mom is saying something to me but all I hear is the sound of rushing water in my ears. He doesn't even spare me a second glance as he drives off down the road. I look back up to Luke and he has come closer to me and I can see just how blue his eyes are in the sunlight as he, once again, looks at me with noting but pity in them.

Mom grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me lightly to snap back into reality. "Clary! Say something. You are really starting to worry me."

I look mindlessly at her and say quietly, "He's gone." She furrows her brow in confusion and then looks to where Jace's car just was. "Who? Are you talking about Jace?"

That is when my mom looks around my shoulder in surprise and says "Izzy? Alec? What is the matter?"

'What in the hell are they doing here' I think to myself and I turn around and see them looking slightly disheveled. Alec is the first one to speak while looking at me nervously. "There was an alarm set off at the north and west perimeter. We have to move now."

I look to my mom in utter confusion expecting her face to hold my same expression. Instead, her eyes are wide and she looks tense and worried. "Are you sure this was not an accident? A false alarm?"

Alec shakes his head and says, "No ma'am."

Mom purses her lips and nods. "What in the hell are ya'll talking about?" I ask looking back and forth between the three of them. Izzy looks to me and says, "We can explain later. What we have to do right now is leave."

"Leave?!" I say loudly. "Why in the world would we have to go somewhere right now?" I look to Alec and say, "And what are you talking about perimeters for?"

Mom steps in front of me then and looks me seriously in the eyes. She has her 'I mean serious business' look on her face and it sobers me up instantly. "Listen to me, Clary." she says with fierceness. "Go with Isabelle and wake your brother up and then I want you to leave with her and Alec."

"But why mom?"

"Dammit Clary!" she shouts making me jump. "Just do as I asked!"

Luke appears then (I hadn't even noticed he had left) and tosses some cylindrical things with strange markings on them to Izzy and Alec and my mom. He then pulls out a dagger, to my utter surprise, and so does Izzy. My eyes fly wide when I hear tires screeching from behind me. We all jerk around to the sound and I see Jace's car skid to a stop in front of his driveway. "Get in!" He yells. "I saw Asmodei a few blocks over!"

Alec then takes off into my house shouting something about Jonathan and Izzy starts to push me towards the car. I don't even fight it anymore. My mind can't seem to catch up with what is going on right now and all I can see is Jace's concerned face as he looks at me. That is when I hear angry shouting and see people in black leather coming from around the corner. I can hear them yell something and then one of them points to me. _To me_. What in the world would those people want with me?

Izzy whispers something and the cylindrical tube that Luke had given her lights up and it shoots out a blade that is glowing. At this point, my brain has quit forming rational thoughts and all I can do is feel the emotions coursing through me. The first one is definitely confusion, with shock a close second and worry rounding it out. Luke makes a growling noise while I see Mr. Starkweather (Mr. Starkweather?!) come barreling out of his house with some shiny silver discs in his hands. I look behind me to see Izzy and Alec's parents running to join our group with and assortment of weapons in their hands and I absolutely lose it.

"WOULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE _HELL_ IS GOING ON?!" I shout at the top of my lungs. The moment the last word escapes my throat the other people start to run incredibly fast towards us. I freeze as everyone around me gets into a defensive posture while Luke, Mr. Starkweather, Maryse, and Robert go running towards the people. As they get closer, I can see that the other group has red swirling lines all over their bodies. They clash together and I see Mr. Starkweather throw one of those disc things and it slices one of the other guy's head off and it rolls to the ground. I suck in a startled gasp and then watch as Luke engages another one in a fight where he eventually stabs one of the red tattooed guys in the stomach and he doubles over and falls to the ground.

Something hits me then and I go flying to the ground just as a red disc slices through the air just where my head was. I look up to see Jonathan pinning me down to the ground and he too has one of those glowing blades. He picks me up like a rag doll and unceremoniously throws me into the back seat of Jace's car, knocking the boxes that were there out and onto the pavement. Izzy shoves in beside me followed by my mom. Jonathan jumps into the front seat with Jace and then we are racing down the road. I look out of the back window and see intense fighting between the strangers and my neighbors before we take a sharp turn around a corner and the scene disappears.

I stare blankly out of the back window and somewhere in my brain, I register the shouting going on in the car, but I don't hear what is being said. I think I am in shock. I feel frozen. I can feel hands on either side of my face trying to turn my head away from the back window. The rushing sound in my ears is slowly replaced with Izzy's soft voice. "Clary." she says soothingly. "Clary, look at me." I tear my eyes away from the back window and meet her steady brown eyes. "Are you okay?" I can't seem to find my voice so I just nod. I can see some of the tension in Izzy's frame ease. "Listen to me. Those people back there want to kill you."

My brows furrow together and I find my voice then. "Kill me?" I say weakly. "Why would anyone want to kill _me_?" Jace takes a sharp turn then and I look up to the rear view mirror and our eyes meet for a second until he looks back to the road.

My mom leans forward across Izzy and begins to speak. "I am not who you think I am and neither are you. We come from a place that was taken over by those people who attacked us and they have hunted us and have now found us." She takes my hands in hers. "You are very, very special, Clary. You are our only hope to return to our home."

Too much this is too much. "I don't understand what you are saying, Mom. I don't understand what any of you are saying!" I shout. My mom looks to Izzy and whispers something to her. Izzy reaches into her back pocket and pulls out something that looks like a pencil but doesn't at the same time. It is thicker and made of some sort of metal with a clear white tip. Mom brings the thing to my skin and says, "This might sting a little, but it will help you relax and sleep." She starts to move it across my skin and I can feel the warming sensation spreading on my skin. I jerk my arm back and shout again, "Would someone just tell me what is going on for _fucks sake_! Tell me _now_!"

Jace meets my eyes in the rear view mirror and begins to speak. "Do you remember the planet that you showed me last night? The one your mom has been studying." I nod my head yes and he continues. "That is where all of us are from. Our planet was invaded by the Asmodei which inhabit a planet that orbits close by ours. You are part of our royal family and were endowed with special powers in hopes that one day you would be able to save our race and save our planet from the Asmodei. We have all been in hiding here on Earth for the past seventeen years while you grew up and we replenished our race with a new generation. Your mother and father are our king and queen and you and Jonathan are our prince and princess and they have come to kill you so they can maintain their rule over our planet."

I feel something on my arm and look down just in time to see my mom pull the pencil thing back, leaving a swirling black tattoo on my arm. I look up to her as she says with sadness in her eyes, "I am so sorry, Clary. Go to sleep now." A rush of sleepiness courses through me just then and the last thing I see is Jace's worried eyes looking at me in the mirror.

* * *

 **-Izzy**

I watch Clary's shocked face fall slack and she slumps over, asleep from the Sleep rune her mother just drew on her forearm. "Well that just went fucking great." Jonathan says sarcastically from the front seat.

"Shut up, Jonathan." I say to him. "Just keep a lookout would you?" I turn my head to the side. "We should have told her sooner." I say looking to Queen Jocelyn. She drops her head in her hands and says quietly "I know."

"Did you see her face, Mom?" Jonathan says again. "She was completely freaked the fuck out."

"Well she did just see some guy get decapitated." I say as I glance worriedly at her. "I don't know if she will ever forgive us for her finding out this way." I mumble to her mother.

She reaches up to my face and places her hand on my cheek. "Yes, she will. You are her best friend Isabelle."

"And that is why I am worried she will never forgive me. I have lied to her everyday of our friendship. How will she ever trust me again? I wouldn't forgive me or trust me if I were her."

"Well I am her mother and I have lied to her everyday of her life. If she can forgive me, which I think she will, she will forgive you too." Queen Jocelyn says to me soothingly.

Jace speaks up from the front of the car. "Are we going to the Institute?"

Queen Jocelyn speaks up then. "Yes. That is where we should go. How long will it take us to get there?"

"About an hour." he replies and then the engine roars as we speed up.

"I know I was pretty pissed when I found out six months ago when Dad died." Jonathan mumbles from the front seat. Knowing him all of my life, I still can't call him Prince Jonathan with a straight face. "And _I_ found out on good terms. Clary found out when they were trying to kill her and we shoved her into a car and then knocked her out. I think she is going to be insanely angry when she wakes up and realizes that what just happened actually happened and it wasn't a dream." He reaches to the back seat and touches her knee in a protective brotherly manor.

Queen Jocelyn looks up and narrows her eyes at Jace in the drivers seat. "What was going on right before the Asmodei showed up between you and my daughter, Jace?" Her voice is hard and authoritative. I can see Jace tense and watch as his adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard.

"I had resigned from my position because of conflicting...emotions and I was trying to leave." Jace says matter of factly.

She narrows her eyes at him. "Would you care to explain further?" I can hear that she has put on her Queen hat in her voice and is speaking to him as such.

Jace shifts nervously under her intense gaze but when he speaks, his voice is steady and strong. "Your daughter and I kissed for the first time the night you had us over for dinner. And then again a few times last night. I accompanied her to look through the telescope early this morning and we spent a few hours talking and then I kissed her goodnight." Jonathan doesn't look surprised in the least at this unlike the Queen. She looks dumbfounded...and then angry.

"When I agreed to let you onto my daughter's protection detail, the one thing I asked to make sure of was that you kept your hands to yourself. I decided to overlook the numerous incidents with the Consul's daughter and trusted Jia's opinion on the matter. Clary is, as you know, promised to Sebastian Verlac and I intend to keep my word on that matter. With that being said, why did you decide to kiss my daughter on numerous occasions and allow her feelings for you to grow. I can tell by the way she looked when you were leaving that there were definitely serious feelings involved on her part."

Jonathan and I lock eyes for a moment and a silent 'Holy shit, he is so dead' passes between us as we turn our gaze simultaneously to a visibly nervous Jace. I can see him warring with himself to tell the truth or not and apparently so can the Queen. "Jace Herondale, you will answer me truthfully." Jocelyn says with her full authority.

He swallows loudly and then says, "I love your daughter, your Majesty." I stiffen immediately at his words and my eyes dart to see the Queens reaction. She remains stoic and doesn't flinch as her silence compels him to continue speaking. "I know it sounds crazy and way too soon, but I can't explain it. She has held my heart since I first laid eyes on her. When I realized how I felt this morning after walking her home, I decided to remove myself from the situation and I resigned my position."

The silence that follows his confession is deafening. Jace never looks away from the road and the Queen never takes her eyes off of Jace. Ten minutes pass before Jocelyn decides to release her gaze on Jace and she looks out of the window.

I look over to Clary and brush some of her hair out of her face. I wonder if she feels the same way about him. They were outside last night at the party together when I came out and they met up after the party and apparently spent hours together by what Jace has said. All of that combined with the dinner they had and the intense flirting at the pool party have me thinking she just might feel the same way towards him. I am actually kind of hurt that she didn't tell me anything about it. I quickly remind myself that I have _no_ right to be upset with her about keeping Jace from me when I have done nothing but lie to her everyday of her life. 'Oh God, she isn't going to forgive me' I say to myself.

No one says a word the rest of the way there. When we pull up, Jace moves to carry Clary inside when the Queen stops him and tells Jonathan to carry his sister inside. Jonathan picks her up and carries her into the Institute on the outskirts of Nashville. The Institute is a kind of base of operations for our race. There are four in the United States and one in London. The majority of our race is in hiding near one of these five Institutes. They act as a sort of refugee camp and a place to conduct official business with hundreds of bedrooms and numerous meeting rooms. They are hidden from human eyes with what we call glamours that keep also keep us unseen from the Asmodei.

I walk with Jonathan through the halls of the Institute while he carries Clary and the people we pass bow to the royals. So many of their faces are shocked to see them and others are probably just shocked to see them dressed so casually. The Queen is in a house robe and Jonathan is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Clary is the only one remotely dressed wearing jeans and the green scoop neck she wears when trying to get a boy's attention. I realize then that is what she probably wore when she met up with Jace after the party. I can't believe I missed it. I must be getting too relaxed and I missed the signs. I didn't do my job.

We reach the residential wing after a very long walk as the head of the Institute appears running around the corner of a hall in front of us. I think his name is Andrew Blackthorn. "I am so sorry I was not here to greet you, your Majesty." he says as he bows, clearly out of breath. He straightens back up and I can see his face is flushed with exertion. "I was out on an errand when we got the call about the Asmodei finding you from Lucian Graymark."

I watch as Queen Jocelyn's faces lights up a little at the mention of his name. "How is he? Were there any casualties?"

Andrew pulls his hands behind his back and clasps them together as he lowers his face. "Yes, your Majesty. I believe Hodge Starkweather was killed. The rest escaped with minor injuries that were quickly healed with steles."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in. That means that my parents and Alec are okay. Poor Mr. Starkweather. Even though he was a crazy and odd man, he answered the call to defend his Queen and gave his life to protect her and her children. "Ave atque vale, Hodge Starkweather." Queen Jocelyn says somberly. After a moment of silence, I hear someone shift their weight behind me. I turn and see Jace there. I wonder if he has been with us the entire time. If he has, then I seriously need to up my skills of observation because clearly, I am lacking in that department.

"Andrew," Queen Jocelyn says softly, "could you direct us to a room for myself and my children?" She gestures to Jonathan who is visibly struggling after carrying Clary for so long. Even though she is just a tiny thing, he can still only hold someone for so long before his muscles give out. Jace steps forward and gestures towards Clary and looks at the Queen and asks, "May I?" She looks to Jonathan whose arms are beginning to shake after ten minutes of holding her weight. Queen Jocelyn reluctantly agrees with a nod of her head and Jonathan hands Clary to Jace. He holds her comfortably and when he looks down at her, I can see his eyes soften and his body relaxes a little.

"This way, your Majesty, if you please." Andrew gestures for us to follow him and we take off down the hall.

After a few more minutes of walking and taking a flight of stairs up a level, we come to a hall that is more grandly decorated than the rest. The doors are spaced further apart and there are runes of peace and rest etched into every door. We finally come to a room and Andrew turns around back to us. "I think the princess would find this room to her liking."

Jonathan reaches out and opens the door for Jace and he slips in, seamlessly maneuvering her so she doesn't bang her head or feet on the door frame. He takes her to the bed while Andrew speaks to the Queen and I watch Jace as he lays her down. His movements are gentle and he reaches down and pulls her shoes off before pulling the covers over her. He then reaches up, Queen Jocelyn and Jonathan still talking with Andrew, and he very gently brushes her hair out of her face. Jace starts to lean forward to her, but then stops and stands up. For a second there, I thought he was going to kiss her.

Queen Jocelyn's voice breaks into my train of thought. "Isabelle."

"Yes, your Majesty?" I say in my professional voice. She laughs a breathy laugh without humor and says, "It is going to take some getting used to being called 'Your Majesty' again after all of these years." She breaks out of her own reverie then and says as she looks at me, "You will be next door." and points to the room to the right of her door from inside of her room "and you Jonathan will be on the other side of her. I will be directly across the hall from here." She motions to her lack of clothing and continues, "I am going to go get changed. Andrew, do you have any clothes available that I can change into?"

"Yes, of course, your Majesty. I will send for some right away." Andrew bolts out of the room then and disappears. We all look back over to Clary and at Jace where he is standing by her. Queen Jocelyn crosses the room and comes to stand right in front of Jace who straightens out his back and enters into his military training posture. "I think it would be best for you to leave now, Herondale. I am sure your services will be needed elsewhere in the Institute at this moment."

Jace nods and says, "Yes, your Majesty." and then leaves without a backward glance. As soon as he is gone, we all turn and look at Clary again. She is sleeping peacefully. Queen Jocelyn sits on the bed next to her daughter and places a kiss on the side of her forehead. "She should wake up in about an hour or so. Isabelle," she turns and looks at me, "you should go change and get settled. Jonathan," she looks back at him, "there is usually some gear in the closets. You go change out of your pajamas and into some gear; at least until we can get us some proper clothing."

I nod and stand to leave. Jonathan walks past me to the bed and bends down, and in a rare gesture of pure brotherly love, kisses her on her head and pulls the covers up to her neck. I slip out of the room and into mine. I walk over to the bed and plop down onto it as this morning's events come back to me. Alec coming to my room in a panic saying that the perimeter had been breached and then Clary's face when the Asmodei warrior was beheaded. The hardest memory was the look of betrayal on Clary's face as Jace was telling her who she was and what was happening. No, I really don't think she will ever forgive me and I wouldn't blame her.

* * *

 **-Clary**

I roll over in bed, not really ready to wake up, when I notice that someone is sitting on the edge of my bed. I crack one eye open and see my mother looking down at me. "Mom, I had the craziest dream." I close my eyes again and stretch.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you tell me about it?" she says sweetly.

"Well first off," I want to tell her about Jace leaving and why it bothered me so much, but I decide in the last second against it, "everyone was there. Izzy, Alec, our new neighbors...and even Mr. Starkweather." I laugh a little a the absurdity of the prospect of him fighting off aliens, "and they were all fighting these people called the Asmodei and then Jace told me that we were royalty." I open both of my eyes then because I decide that I won't be able to go back to sleep...and I freeze. I am in a strange room. There is a very large wooden fireplace and two grand windows with heavy drapery and the bed I am in is king sized and holds a canopy over it. I bolt up into a sitting position and look to my mom. That is when I notice what she is wearing. She is covered in head to toe black with her hair braided tightly behind her head.

"Mom..." I say with absolute horror, "please tell me it was a dream." I look down quickly at my arm and see the fading black tattoo my mother had given me in the back seat of the car. I jump out of bed and face her, my body shaking. "MOM! Tell me its _not_ true!"

She stands up and takes a step towards me and I back away. She stops her advance and begins to wring her hands. "I wish it was a dream, honey, but it wasn't." She tries to take a step towards me again and I back up further away from her. "Clary, you have to understand.."

I cut her off, "Was what Jace was saying all true too? That you are a Queen of some alien race and I am a freaking princess? Am I even human?!" My voice travels higher and higher as I am speaking and by the time I ask if I am human, I sound like a squeaking wheel.

Mom nods her head, "Yes, honey. Everything Jace said was true." She drops her head and looks at the ground. "And no, you are not human."

Here comes the sound of rushing water again. "Jace said that you fled from your world seventeen years ago. That means that I was a baby. And that also means that you have lied to me every day of my life."

"Clary, you don't understand. It was necessary. You couldn't know who you were in case the Asmodei found you. They couldn't get you to admit that you were the princess if you didn't know you were."

If she ran when I was a baby..."What about Jonathan? I saw he knew." My voice is angry and filled with acid. "Why did you tell him and not me?"

She shifts nervously as she takes a step closer to me. I don't move this time. "He only found out when your father died six months ago. And even then, it was by accident."

"What about, Izzy? Her and Alec obviously knew. And Mr. _freaking_ Starweather knew. Who else mom? _Who ELSE_?!"

She looks up at me and a tear slips out of her eyes. She looks scared and hurt and I couldn't care less. "Jonathan Cartwright, Aline, Helen, Bat, Jordan, Maia, Simon, the Lightwoods, and Alec's new boyfriend Magnus."

"So what you are saying is, _mom_ , is that you and dad and everyone else that I ever came in contact with my entire life, with the exception of my brother, lied to me everyday." I look up to her and tears are running down her cheeks as she gently nods. "Why did everyone know in my life, except me? How come all of my friends knew?"

She wipes her face and I can tell she doesn't really want to tell me. "They were a part of your protection detail."

"So it was their job to hang around me." Realization that my whole life, and everyone in it, has been an absolute lie. "Are they even really my friends, or did they just put up with me because it was their _job_?"

"Of course they are your friends, Cla..."

"Get out." I say lowly to my mother. She steps forward to me and I back up all the was against the wall. "But Clary..." she starts to say when I cut her off again. "I said _GET OUT_!" I let every ounce of hatred and betrayal I feel lace through my voice with those two simple words. I watch as she flinches (good, I want her to flinch at my words) and she nods and then disappears through the door. As soon as I hear the door knob click, my knees give out and I slide to the floor as the uncontrollable sobbing takes over. Was anything _ever_ in my life real?


	7. Chapter 7

After a while, the tears stop coming. I don't know if it is because I was dehydrated from the hours of crying or if it was because I became numb. I crawled onto the bed at some point and took off my jeans. As I laid under the covers, I watched as the light from the window disappeared and it became night. No one has come to my door. Maybe it was because of the loud screams of anger and frustration and betrayal or maybe it was because I really and truly didn't have any friends. Just people whose job it was to be around me. Now that they are free of having to maintain the illusion of friendship with me, they probably just don't care.

Words cannot express how much this hurts. Every single one of my friends...no. I never had friends. Just the illusion of friends. Izzy who I thought would always be there for me and always be my friend. No, not friend. Sister. I always thought she would be my sister. Simon who was like the male version of me or at least he pretended to be. I wonder if Helen and Aline are actually together when I am not around or did they get together because that is what they thought their 'characters' would do. Maia who never cut me any slack probably because she really couldn't stand me. Alec who was Jonathan's best friend. At least he and I thought he was. Bat and Jordan who were always teasing me. Maybe they really did mean all of those things they said and they weren't really teasing. They must have all had one hell of a laugh behind my back on countless occasions. Then there is Jon Cartwright. I think about all of those times he kissed me and whispered sweet things to me and held my hand. Did he mean _any_ of it? And then there is my mom...nope. Not ready to think about that yet. The only people who I can't seem to be mad at are Luke and Jace. I had only just met both of them so they owed me no loyalty or truths.

That just leaves Jonathan. I honestly don't know what to think about him. He also was lied to until six months ago. Mom said he found out by accident when Dad died. That means he was in the same boat as me. Why didn't he tell me when he found out? What on earth possessed him to keep something so big and so life altering from me? Didn't he feel betrayed when he found out? Wasn't he angry at all of our so called 'friends'? Was he angry at Mom? I need to go back to when Dad died. Those are some of the worst memories that I have but I have to try and see if I can recall any behavior that was unusual. Who the hell am I kidding? Our father had just died in some stupid car accident with our neighbor...who was probably part of his protection detail. We all weren't acting like ourselves. Dad had died two days before Christmas and then Jonathan disappeared for a whole week the day after the funeral. Maybe that is because he found out who we really are.

I roll over in bed and throw my fists down against the bed and growl in frustration. How did my life change so fundamentally in just one day? The one thing I was always certain about was the fact that I was a human. I mean, who would even think to question if the were human or not? Okay, I need to make a list of what has changed and what hasn't.

First, my name is Clarissa Seraphina Morgenstern. I am pretty sure that is really what my name is so that gets put in the 'hasn't changed' column. I have red hair and green eyes. I love to paint and draw and I am stubborn. I am competitive and I absolutly loathe losing. I like astronomy (go figure) and I just graduated high school.

Now comes the things that have changed column. I have a feeling this one will be a lot longer than the first one. Number of friends went from eight or nine all the way down to zero. Fan- _fucking_ -tastic. I am _not_ a human. I _am_ a princess of an alien race. I was born on a different planet than the one I am currently residing on. My trust issues went from virtually non-existent to the most dominant trait I have. I thought I could read people well, but I if I can't even tell when the people around me every day of my life are lying, then I was apparently very sorely mistaken. I am also assuming that I will never again see the one place I have ever called home, much less go back to live there.

 _Knock, knock, knock._

I sit up straight in the bed and look to the door. I jerk my head back around to the old clock ticking away on the wall. It says two in the morning. Shit. Apparently, I couldn't sleep even though I desperately wanted to.

 _Knock, knock._

"Who is it?" I say barely above my normal speaking voice. My thoat is raw and scratchy from all of the crying and I sound like a frog when I speak. After a few seconds, I still don't get an answer. I open my mouth to ask who it is again, but something tells me not to and I feel this strong pull to walk to the door. I get up and wrap the sheets around my waist (I don't feel like putting pants back on in the moment) and slowly walk to my door. I grab the knob and turn it, slowly opening the door when it is pushed open quickly. To my utter surprise, Jace slips in and closes the door behind him. He is pushed up against the door and I am only about two feet away from him. His eyes are slightly widened and he is breathing hard. I can see that he is scared of my reaction to his presence. I can also feel the electricity coming off of his skin and it fills my body with a warming sensation. That is when I cease to think and I toss myself at him and throw my arms around him.

The moment my skin touches his, my whole body starts to tingle and shake. He curls into my body and wraps his arms around my waist as his face buries in the crook of my neck as I bury my face in his. That is when the tears return. Instead of big ugly tears, they are soft and just seem to effortless fall from my eyes. After a minute of him just holding me, he pulls back and places his hands on either side of my face and kisses the tears away off of my cheeks.

"Are you not mad at me?" Jace whispers quietly to me. I can hear the fear in his voice.

"Right now...no. But I can't make any promises about tomorrow." I whisper back. This earns me a hearty, yet quiet, laugh from Jace. My mouth turns up a little at the corners at the sound of it. I step back to go to the bed and my sheet falls down to the ground. Jace looks down and sees my plain black underwear and he swallows hard and looks away.

"Relax, Jace. The bathing suit you saw me in is half the size of the underwear I have on."

He looks back to me and gives me an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I guess you're right." he whispers back.

I smile a little as I say, "You should probably get used to saying that if you are going to be around me." His brows furrow in confusion before realizing what I meant and he lets out just one huff of a laugh. "We'll see about that."

I grab his hands and pull him to the bed and crawl up onto it. I scoot to the middle of the bed and sit indian style while Jace sits directly in front of me, his legs on either side of me and bending at the knees to wrap around my body. He grabs my hands into his after he pushes my crazy hair out of my face.

"I just had to see if you were okay. I couldn't stand not knowing." Jaces says while looking into my eyes. I look down to our hands and watch as his thumbs rub up and down the backs of my hands sending jolts of pleasure through me. "Truthfully, I am not doing good at all. My whole life has been just one big lie. I don't know what is real and what isn't anymore." I start to choke a little on my words at the end and tears start to flow more freely.

"Hey, hey, hey, Clary. Shhhh. Please don't cry." he says as he leans forward and cups my face in his hands again. Somehow, where earlier today I wan't able to stop the tears from falling, with Jace here and his hands tingling my face, I find it too easy to stop them. I look into his steady golden eyes and feel peace radiating from them. "First off," he begins to speak with conviction, "you are beautiful and strong. That is real. You are fierce and so full of life and that is real. You love to draw and paint and you love to listen to me play the piano at night because you leave the window open when I do. That is real. It gets harder and harder to stay away from you the longer I know you; damn the consequences. That is real." He lets one hand fall from my face and places it over my heart. "No matter what changes around you, you know who you are deep down inside. Those things that I said are what is real and everyday, I want you to add something to that list. Okay?"

I nod my head slowly and lean forward to hug him. How does he know just what to say to make me feel better? Even if it is only a little better. His arms snake around me slowly and he pulls us into a laying position onto ours sides, facing each other. My head is pillowed on one of his arms while the other is resting on my waist. Both of my arms are sandwiched in between us. "It feels so good to have you hear." I whisper to him. "Why is that?"

"I don't know." Jace says lowly. "I feel it too. I should really go, but I can't seem to find the will power to get up and leave." He brings the hand that was on my waist up to my hair and runs his fingers through it. I close my eyes at the sensation as my body completely relaxes into his. I can feel him lean forward and place a kiss on my cheek at the corner of my mouth. I think to myself 'this won't do' and I turn my face a little and press my lips against his in a chaste kiss. His lips are so incredibly soft and gentle yet I can feel the thrum of electricity passing through them in the most wonderful sensation. I pull back a few seconds later and bury my head into his chest. "Stay with me until I fall asleep." I whisper as his fingers continue to run through my hair. Within minutes, I fall into a deep and dreamless sleep with Jace's arms wrapped around me.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of knocking at my door. I throw my hand out across the bed and am not surprised to find that Jace is no longer here with me. I look down and smile as I see that he has brought the covers up and around my body. The knocking comes again and I look at the clock on the wall and it says eleven a.m. when I say "Who is it?"

I can hear the muffled response through the door. "It's Julian Blackthorn. I have a tray of food for you, your highness."

What the hell? Did he seriously just say 'your highness'? I quickly consider yelling some very un-royal like things at the door when my stomach gives a long and loud growl. That is when I remember that I didn't eat anything at all yesterday. "Just a minute." I say loudly as I slide off the bed and put on my jeans. I smooth down my crazy hair and open the door to find a boy a few years younger than me (maybe 15 or 16) with brown hair and beautiful blue green eyes. I reach out and take the tray from him. The moment I have the tray, he bows gently and then turns to leave. 'What the fuck?' I think to myself. That is when I remember that I am supposed to be some princess. Once again I remind myself that I have been lied to since forever while everyone else knew I was a princess. I am pretty sure I will never get used to people treating me like one.

I kick the door shut and look down to see eggs (yuck, I hate eggs), three strips of bacon, four large pancakes stacked high, and assortment of fruit and orange juice. I take a deep breath in and let the smell of the food fill me up. I walk over to the desk that is in the corner of the room and set the tray down. Ten minutes later everything, except the eggs, is now in my stomach. I sit back in the chair and rub my food baby that is protruding from my lower abdomen. "You are such a beautiful food baby" I coo as I rub it with both of my hands.

I let my food settle before I get up and go to the bathroom. I only went in here once yesterday to use the bathroom and get tissues to blow my nose from all of the crying. To my surprise, the once empty bathroom is now filled with an assortment of soap and shampoos with a stack of towels placed on the seat of the toilet. That means that someone came in here while I was sleeping and put these things in here because I haven't left the room at all. I don't know why, but the thought of that makes me furious. I pick up the towels and throw them on the ground and knock all of the toiletries off of the counter. I stand there once that is done with my eyes closed and let my anger subside. I slowly open my eyes and pick up all of the things I knocked off of the counter and then the towels when I smell my armpits and almost faint. I should probably shower.

I turn on the water and as I am waiting for it to warm up, I look in the mirror above the sink. I look absolutely horrible. My hair looks like a rat's nest and there are little red dots all over my face. They are broken blood vessels from crying so hard and for so long yesterday. My eyes are slightly blood shot and to my surprise, don't look like my eyes. I mean, they do...but they don't. I don't recognize the person in the mirror looking back at me. She looks angry and bitter and like the life has been drained from her. I quickly look away and make a mental note to avoid looking into mirrors more than necessary. I strip down and hop in the shower and let the water run down my back.

Twenty minutes later, I am walking back into the room with a towel wrapped around me and move to the wardrobe in the room. I seriously don't want to put back on my dirty underwear and clothes so I am hoping to find _something_ in there. I open the doors and see that is jam packed with women's clothing. I run my hand along the fabrics and see that everything has a tag on it. They are all brand new. I reach up and pull a hanger out that is holding a beautiful blue blouse. The color is one of my favorites and the style is something I would have picked out for myself and it looks like it would fit perfectly. I start to push through the clothes and find that I pretty much like everything in it...and that someone must have put these clothes in here when I was sleeping. I slam the doors of the wardrobe shut and stomp my way back to the bathroom to angrily dry my hair. Apparently, I can no longer expect privacy when I am sleeping.

* * *

 **-Izzy**

Here I am, standing at Clary's door for the fiftieth time in the last day with my hand raised, too afraid to knock. I can hear her moving around in the room so I know she is awake after the room being silent for so long. I never thought the screaming and crying were going to stop yesterday for the longest time. I think about her crying by herself and I want to stab myself. I should have been in there holding her as she cried but I am part of the reason she was crying. "Dammit!" I whisper yell as I stomp away from the door and back to my room in frustration. I hear a noise come from our shared wall. It sounds like a few things hit the wall and floor. I press my ear up against the wall, knowing this is as close as I can get to her for now, and hear the water turn on in the bathroom that is the wall we share. I wonder if she has seen the clothes I got for her yet? I snuck in there early this morning with help of a silence rune to put them in the wardrobe and I saw her asleep in the middle of the huge bed. Queen Jocelyn sent me to get her some clothes yesterday evening for her because we couldn't go back to the house. Jocelyn looked like she had been crying just about as hard as Clary had.

I shuffle back to my bed and sit. I will wait for her to get out of the shower and then I will go and knock on her door. I can't avoid her forever. After all, I am head of her protection detail since I turned eighteen. I just don't know how to talk to her now. What to say to her. Should I tell her that she was never 'just a job' to me? That she really is my best friend? Knowing her, she won't believe a word I say. And I wouldn't blame her. But I can't _not_ tell her that I am truly her friend, whether she believes me or not. How will she ever believe a word I say when I lied to her everyday. I'm not stupid. I knew the day would come when we would have to tell her the truth, but I thought I would have time to...I don't know, prepare a speech or something. I never expected for her to find out the way she did. For her to have her life so swiftly pulled out from under her so violently. I thought I had time.

I push myself off of the bed and resume the pacing that has consumed me since I woke up at six this morning. I bring my left hand up to my right wrist and fiddle nervously with my electrum whip that Clary always thought was a snake shaped hard bangle that I wore almost everyday. I hear the water turn off and my head shoots up. I should give her some time to get dressed. My ears perk up when I hear footsteps outside of my door come to a stop. Before they have a chance to knock, I swing the door open to find Jonathan. "Oh, hey. What's up?" I ask him.

"Have you seen her yet?" Jonathan asks me. I shake my head no. "I came up here because mom wants her downstairs. Do you think I should go and see her first?" he asks while shifting his weight nervously back and forth.

"I don't know. Maybe? I have been too scared to go and knock on the door. I think if she would want to be near any of us, it would be you. You only just found out about all of this a little while ago because of when the three Asmodei bounty hunters took you." Thinking about that makes me remember searching for him while Clary and her mother mourned their father. The Queen had been so worried about Jonathan but had refused to leave Clary alone for fear of them coming after her. The look on Jonathan's face when we finally found him was pure astonishment. He almost looked as betrayed as Clary did when he saw that all of his friends were involved in one way or another. I think the only reason he forgave us so quickly was because we saved his life and killed the Asmodei warrior that was sent to kill Clary for the reward.

"I don't know, Izzy. I am just afraid that she will never want anything to do with me anymore. I knew I should have told her when I found out instead of just going along with mom and keeping it from her."

"Just go and try. I heard her turn the shower off a few minutes ago." As if on cue, I hear her turn on the blow dryer in the bathroom. "Just give her time to get dressed and then go."

Jonathan purses his lips and nods then turns and walks away. I shut my door and resume my pacing. I am just going to wait here for the shouting from Clary to start.

* * *

 **-Clary**

When I am done meticulously drying my hair straight, I go to the wardrobe and pull out a cream colored v-neck shirt that has a few buttons at the base of the neck line. I could unbutton a few of the buttons and show some cleavage or I could leave them buttoned and look like a nun. I settle for just two buttons undone which is perfect. I rip the tag off of the shirt and grab a pair of skinny jeans and slide them on and rip the tag off of those. I slip my sandals back on that I wore from my 'date' with Jace and then decide to go do some looking around. I can't be in this room anymore. The moment my hands touches the door knob, someone knocks on it. I open the door and see Jonathan standing there with his arm still raised from knocking. Before I even realize what I am doing, I have pulled back my arm and let my hand fly at his face and slap him hard across his cheek. The sound from it resonates through the hall.

"Why didn't you tell me Jonathan!" I shout at the top of my lungs. "You could have told me, but you didn't!"

Jonathan shushes me and slides in my door, shutting it behind him. When he speaks, his voice is low and his words are fast. "Because Clary, things were really complicated back then. Dad had just died and then the Asmodei bounty hunters saw his obituary and then came looking for us. They found me the day after his funeral when I had gone to the store for milk and they kidnapped me. They knew who I was because I look so much like dad and they wanted to use me for ransom. They thought they could get more money for me from Mom than they would from their own people." He brings his hand up to his face and scrubs it hard. "I had no idea what was going on and they just kept saying that I was some prince. One of them kept saying that they should go and kill you to make their point that they would actually kill me if they didn't get their money. They liked it here on Earth and wanted to stay." He moves to sit on my bed but I stay planted where I am by the door. "They only had me for a few hours until Alec, Izzy, and their father found me and killed them. I was so confused when I saw them yet so angry that they had lied to me. I disappeared on my own for six days after that." He hangs his head and looks uncomfortably at the floor.

I remember back to when he came home after he had been gone for that week. Him and Mom got into such a huge fight while I buried my face into my bed, zoning it out. There was so much shouting and it lasted for hours. I just thought that she was mad at him for leaving us like that but now that I know, it must have been because of him finding out the truth. He locked himself in his room for almost two weeks after that. He refused to see any of his friends that had come to see us and would only let me anywhere near him. I thought he was just upset about Dad.

"Is that why you disappeared and locked yourself in your room all of that time?" I ask him. He nods his head. "But that still doesn't excuse you from telling me."

"I know, Clary." he says sadly. "Mom and I fought tirelessly over that. I don't know how she convinced me not to tell you." Jonathan looks up to me then. "She kept saying that she was afraid that the Asmodei would find you and if you knew who you were, they would be able to get you to admit it and then they would kill you. It sounded like good logic at the time but looking back I can see how flawed that reasoning was." He stands up then and comes to stand in front of me. "The only reason I forgave everyone was because of you. I didn't want to be the one who took everything away from you. I didn't want to be the one to see your face look the way it did in the car yesterday. I wanted you to have your friends with you as you mourned father's death. I couldn't take that support system away from you when you needed them so badly."

"But that's the thing, Jonathan!" I shout at him. "They were never my friends or yours! They were _assigned_ to us. It was their job to hang around us and pretend to be our friends!"

"I don't think that is necessarily true..." Jonathan begins but I cut him off. "Of course it's true, Jonathan!" I say with acid drenching every word. "I didn't want fake friends. I wanted real ones! I wanted a brother that I could trust no matter what and now I have no real friends and a brother that I can't trust!"

I watch as the hurt from my words crosses his face. "I deserve that." He says quietly. "I just hope that you can forgive me. I am not perfect, Clary, and I fully regret not telling you the moment I found out but things weren't exactly black and white at the time. Dad had just died and I was kidnapped and then I found out who we really were and I made the mistake of not telling you. My whole world was pulled out from under me and I just didn't want to see the same thing happen to you right after Dad's death." He bends down and looks me directly in my eyes and speaks fervently while griping the tops of my arms. "You were having a hard enough time with that and I saw how much Izzy and Simon were helping you and I just couldn't be the one to take them from you. I just couldn't."

I shrug gently out of his grasp and he stands up and runs his hands through his hair. I turn my back to him and take a few steps away and face the wall and hug my elbows in front of me. I hate to admit it but I do see his logic. I just don't know if I can forgive him yet. That was such a hard time for me. I was always 'daddy's little princess' as he always called me. I smile at the memory as it takes on a whole new meaning. All of the memories of dad and me were running through my head like some torturous movie that I couldn't turn off. I was so devastated when he died and I could barely hold it together. I could only imagine what Jonathan went through losing him and his grip on what was real at the same time. It must have been horrible for him. I turn and look at my brother and see the desperation in his eyes. He wants me to understand so bad.

"I understand why you didn't tell me, Jonathan." I say quietly to him. He lets out a breath he was holding and his frame relaxes. "But, I can't fully forgive you just yet. That will take some time."

He nods his head vigorously. "That is fine with me." Jonathan says fervently. "All I wanted was just a chance for you to understand. I can wait for you to be okay with my shitty decision and forgive me." He holds his arms out for a hug and I just purse my lips and shake my head no while giving him a death glare. "I am in no way ready for that yet, Jonathan."

He looks dejected but seems to accept it. "Anyway, there is another reason I came up here." I look up at him questioningly. "Mom wants to see you downstairs. Apparently there is someone she wants you to meet."

I scoff at the idea. "She wants me to meet someone?" I say incredulously. "Right now?" He nods his head. "I can't believe her nerve. Dropping this bomb on me and then leaving me to cry myself silly and now she wants me to meet someone?" I square my shoulders and straighten my back. If she wants me to meet someone, then fine. I will. I just won't be the person she expects me to be since all of her lies turned me into this warped version of myself. "Fine. Lets go." I say harshly.

Jonathan looks unnerved by response but opens the door anyway. I follow him out of the door to find Izzy standing there waiting for us. Anger and hatred and betrayal runs through my veins at the sight of her. She goes to open her mouth to say something but I cut her off. "Fuck off, Isabelle." She flinches slightly at my words. "It must be nice to not have to pretend to be my friend anymore." She moves to say something again but I put my hand up to motion for her to be quiet, and she closes her mouth. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say ever again. I have heard enough of your lies and I don't care to hear anymore so save it for someone who will listen." She purses her lips and I can see them shaking a little before she stands up straight and nods her head. "Whatever you say, your _highness_." She says lowly to me.

I smile a little at making her react that way and then turn back to Jonathan who is looking at her with pity. I scrunch my brows at him. How dare he feel sorry for _her_? He sees my face and then wipes it clean of any expression and then begins to lead the way downstairs. I can't help but wonder where I am. I thought we were in a fancy hotel but now that I am out and walking around, I can see that we clearly aren't. There are swirling marks all over the walls and there are these weird glowing blueish rocks lighting the wall every few feet. We turn and take some stairs down a few levels.

"Where the hell are we, Jonathan?" I ask him. He begins to tell me as we are walking; slowing to walk beside me. "This place is called the Institute. It is kind of like a refugee camp for our people. This is also where we conduct all of our business and meetings."

"Oh, so it's we and us when talking about them." I say noticing how he uses the term for the alien race. "Yes, Clary. Because that is who _we_ are. We aren't human." I take a deep breath as I remember this and clench my jaw. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, we run into some people who quickly step out of the way and bow as we pass. I look at them in astonishment wondering who they are bowing to for a split second before remembering. I will see if I can put a stop to all of the bowing. I don't think I can take people bowing to me everywhere I go.

I notice some people have some of the swirling black lines all over them similar to the one mom drew on me and I ask him what those are. "Those are what you call runes. Do you remember the thing mom used to draw on you yesterday?" I nod my head yes. "That is called a stele and those black marks give you abilities that above and beyond normal. Mom put a sleep rune on you yesterday that made you fall asleep."

"I remember." I say bitterly. He doesn't respond to my declaration and continues to talk. "Well each mark means something different. Speed, agility, strength, fire proof, farsightedness..."

My eyes fly wide when he says fire proof. "There is one to make you fire proof?!" I ask loudly. He looks down at me and smiles a little. "Yes." he replies simply. I look him up and down and say, "Well why don't you have any? You have known all about this for months."

He stops in his tracks and pulls out one of those stele things and brings it to his arm and says "I do." He brings the glowing tip to his arms and draws a mark and suddenly I can see black swirling lines all over his arms. "This rune right here," he points to what he just drew, "allows us to hide our marks from everyone." He looks back to Izzy who is behind me and nods his head. I watch as she pulls out her own stele and does the same thing. Black marks appear all over her body. I scoff once at the sight and turn back around. "And to top it all off, I never really knew what anyone ever looked like." I say bitterly. I begin to walk again in the direction we were heading. Jonathan takes a few strides to catch up and then begins to lead.

A few minutes later (this place must be huge) and we finally reach a set of double doors. Jonathan pushes them open to reveal a massive library three stories tall. My eyes travel up to the top floor and I can't help but smile, just a little, at the sight of so many books. I love to read and in here I don't think I would ever run out of things to read. My mother's voice calls my attention back downward. "Clary," I look down at her and notice another group of people in the room. My eyes that were narrowed at her smooth out as I take in the numerous other people in the room while she continues to speak. "This is Consul Michael Verlac. He is kind of like the equivalent to the president to our people." Michael Verlac steps forward to me while I am still slowly walking in the door. He approaches and gives a small bow before taking my hand and kissing it. I look quickly up to Jonathan in surprise and say with my eyes, 'what in the hell?' and he just nods back at the guy to get me to look at him. I turn my head back to the man who is still holding my hand and he smiles widely at me. "It is so nice to meet you finally." he says fervently. I give him a small friendly smile and he seems pleased by this. He drops my hand and then motions to the rest of the people in the room.

"This is my dear wife, Adriana." A woman with dark hair steps forward and smiles warmly at me. I give her the same friendly smile as she curtsies in front of me then reaches out to shake my hand. "I am so glad to meet you, dear Clarissa. You are even more beautiful than I expected." Adriana says sweetly to me. Her voice is soft and very feminine. "Thank you." I say in response. Michael then motions to a very beautiful girl maybe a year younger than me. She has dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes and very beautiful and delicate features. "This is our daughter Sophie Verlac." She steps forward and repeats the same process as her mother. Curtsy, shakes my hand, and then tells me how pretty I am while saying she can't wait to become friends. I furrow my brows slightly at her in confusion when Michael motions to the last person in the room.

I look up to see a very tall man who I think is very close to my age. Maybe a couple of years older. He has pitch black hair and dark brown eyes. He is fairly handsome even though his nose is slightly too big for his face. He smiles hugely at me and I can't help but smile back. He has one of those really contagious smiles that some people have. As he walks closer, I can see just how tall he is. He has to be at least six foot three which is taller than Jonathan. I crane my neck up at him as he comes to stand in front of me, still smiling widely, and bows gently in front of me while never breaking eye contact with me. I start to blush a little under his intense gaze and I can see his father out of the corner of my eye smile widely at this. Sebastian reaches out and takes my hand and brings it to his lips. He kisses it a little longer than necessary before letting go and stepping slightly back.

"It is so nice to meet you, Clarissa." he says to me. His voice is very deep and commanding.

"Please, call me Clary." I say to him. His huge smile returns and he says, "Okay, Clary." as his intense gaze makes me blush some more. I nervously push my hair behind one of my ears as I look confused to my mother. She steps forward and her voice is professional when she says, "Now that introductions are out of the way, I must request some time alone with my daughter. We have had a long couple of days and I haven't had the luxury of spending any time with her." She smiles sweetly at Michael Verlac who nods and begins to move towards the door. "Of course, your Majesty. We understand." He ushers his family towards to door as him and Sebastian hang behind. Michael picks up my hand again and kisses it and Sebastian does the same thing. When Sebastian straightens out, he smiles down at me and says in his deep voice, "I look forward to seeing you again." I nod my head and give him a friendly smile as he walks past me and shuts the door behind him.

I drop my smile and turn to glare at my mother. "What the hell was that all about?" I snap at her. Her facade of professionalism slips off as she walks slowly towards me.

"It is our duty as the royal family to be familiar with the elected officials of our people." Mom says nervously.

I narrow my eyes at her convinced that she is hiding something from me. "I don't believe you, mom. There is more to it that what you are telling me."

She looks down as she brings her hands in front of her and begins to wring them nervously. This only confirms my suspicions further. I cross my arms and raise my eyebrows as I wait for her to explain. "When the war began against the Asmodei, our world was divided. Half was for our rule as a monarchy while the other half wanted to elect their ruler. Because of this divide and fighting amongst ourselves, we eventually lost the war and had to flee here to hide." She takes a deep breath as she looks up to me. "But right before we had to leave, there was a compromise between the two sides of our people and a treaty was signed." She swallows harshly before she continues. "You see, Clary, the rule of the monarchy passes down through the women in the family and not the men so you will one day be Queen." She stops and looks up at me.

"What was the treaty mom?" I say to her. She is obviously not wanting to tell me about it.

She is unable to hold eye contact with me and she closes her eyes as she says, "The treaty was that you would marry the elected Consul's son, Sebastian Verlac and unite our people."

I hear Jonathan shout at the top of his lungs "What?!" while I feel my heart drop into my stomach. As shock fills me, I can hear Jonathan continue his ranting. "You can't be serious, Mom?!" He shouts at her. "You expect her to marry a perfect stranger? You can't force her!"

I find my voice then. "No, she can't force me." I say venomously at her.

Mom stands up then and looks determinedly into my eyes. "Clary, if you don't, our whole race will never unite and be able to return to our home. Our people are slowly being hunted down one by one by the Asmodei here and there is still a sharp divide between the people. If you don't marry him, there will be civil war between our people and we will eventually die off slowly. You have to understand..."

I cut her off angrily. "Do you know how many times in the past 24 hours someone has said 'you have to understand' to me; most of the times coming from you!" I shout at her. " _No_ , I _DON'T_ have to understand!" I turn on my heels and stomp towards the door. Izzy throws out a hand to stop me and looks at me with sorrow in her eyes. " _Don't touch_ _me_." I say through clenched teeth as I pull out of her grasp and stomp out of the door and slam it behind me. I startle someone in the hallway and they quickly back up to the wall and bow to me. I growl in frustration at the sight and suddenly I am running. I have no idea where I am going, but I feel this pull inside of me directing me where to go. I take hall after hall, glancing back numerous times to make sure I am not being followed, and finally I hear someone running in the hall at the end of the one I am currently in. Jace suddenly appears looking flushed and looks at me with relief clear on his face. I run to him and he opens his arms for me to jump into.

"I don't know how I knew you were upset, but I knew and I had to find you." he whispers in my ear as we collide.

"I don't know how I got here." I whisper to him as tears begin to spill out of my eyes. "I just felt this pull to go here."

"Me too." He whispers as he pushes into a room off of the hall. "Me too."


	8. Chapter 8

Jace pulls us into a small unused office. There is a white sheet over a couch and a desk at the end of the room. He kicks the door shut behind us and he just stands there and holds me as silent tears fall down my cheeks.

"I feel like every time I see you I am crying." I say softly and chuckle. "I am wondering when you are going to start taking it personally."

I can feel his laughter through his chest before he lets it escape through his mouth. "As long as I am the one who gets to make the tears stop, I am fine with meeting up with you like this." He says lowly into my ear. I pull back and he takes his thumbs and wipes away my tears as he cups my face. As soon as my eyes meet his, they stop coming. "There." Jace says with that damn crooked smile of his. "They stopped."

I lean forward and press my lips to his and he leans into me. I slide my hands down his chest and snake them around his waist as he fists one of his hands in my hair and the other caresses my face. We slowly pull apart and both of our breathing is ragged. I don't know what it is about him. He takes every thought and worry I have and throws it out of the window and replaces it with his touch and the intoxicating drug it sends through my body. I pull the white sheet off of the couch and pull him to sit on it. He sits next to me and then pulls my legs into his lap turning me to face him as I lean my head onto his shoulder. "Jace," I say softly, "they want me to marry some guy I don't know. They said it was a part of some treaty."

He noticeably stiffens and I look up at him. He is looking down at my legs in his lap as he draws with his fingers on one leg. "I know." he practically whispers. "That is why I tried to leave." I shock myself by not pushing him away and being mad at him. I stare at his face and will him to continue. He turns his face up to me and says, "When I realized how I felt about you, I had to leave. I wasn't supposed to get involved with you. When they assigned me to your protection detail, that was one of the rules because of your betrothal to the Consul's son." He reaches up to my face and brushes my hair behind my ear as he continues. "But the moment I saw you standing outside of your Jeep, nothing else mattered. You were...are...just so beautiful. And then I talked to you and you kept me on my toes. You kept me intrigued and hanging onto every word you said. The worst part was when we kissed in the game room." He slides the back of his hand down my face and I can feel the tingling sensation from it in my toes. I can see his eyes glaze over as he loses himself to his thoughts as he keeps speaking. "It was like I was alive for the first time. Like I was a walking talking zombie and then when we kissed, you cured me and brought me back to life." My heart starts to beat faster and harder as he drags his thumb across my parted lips. "It is like you electrified me with your touch like you still are now. Your touch sends jolts of electricity through me and it feels amazing."

My breath is coming in short pants now as his other hand slides up my leg and comes to rest at the top of my thigh. "I feel it too, Jace. I feel that thrum of electricity too. It's like your touch is a drug to me. From the second I saw you, you pulled me in. You were so wonderfully infuriating at the pool party and then I heard you playing your piano that night and I went and sat by my window to listen and I fell asleep." I lean my face into his hand that has just returned to my cheek. "And the kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced..." My words die on my lips as he crashes his lips to mine and begins to kiss me harshly. Our lips slide over each other roughly as our tongues fight for dominance; neither of us giving in. I feel that familiar feeling of being truly alive that only he gives me as his hands slide down to my hips and he pulls me into his lap. I pull one leg off of his lap and bring it to one side and before I know it, I am straddling him.

His hands slide harshly up my back and under my shirt. The feeling of his large hands covering most of my small back is like nothing I could have imagined. His lips break from mine and he leads hot wet kisses down the side of my neck as I throw my head back and moan ever so slightly. When he hears my small moan, he growls and then lifts my shirt over my head. By the reaction he has to seeing me in my bra makes me want to kiss whoever bought me all of the stuff in my room. His eyes darken a shade and I can see the passion in them before I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head. 'My God, he's glorious!' I think to myself as I see his perfectly sculpted chest. I bite my bottom lip as I look down at him.

"God, Clary. You drive me crazy when you do that." he says seductively at me as he looks at me biting my lip. He pulls my face down to his and kisses me while I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and bite it gently. He growls at me again and flips us over on the couch. He gets on his knees on the floor while I sit on the couch with him between my legs. My hands fly down to my pants and I swiftly unbutton them and pull them off as Jace does the same with his. He looks down to see that my underwear matches my lacy purple push up bra and he dives down and starts trailing kisses up my stomach. He comes to the valley in between my breasts and his kisses slow and become more gentle. I dig my hands in his hair as he kisses up the rest of the way to my mouth. I can feel 'him' against my thigh and everything becomes really real. I may be turning nineteen in a couple of weeks but I am still incredibly inexperienced in pretty much every way I can be. He slips his hand around my back and pops the clasp on my bra and pulls it off. His eyes scan me and the way he is looking at me makes me feel like the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Jace." I say breathlessly. He leans down and presses our chests together and I close my eyes as the sensation fills me with plesure as his skin reacts with mine. He kisses my cheek and then my neck and I have to tell him before I can't talk anymore. "Jace" I whisper again.

"Yes, my Clary?" Ugh. When he calls me 'his Clary' it almost makes me change my mind.

"I...um...I've never had sex before." I say shyly to him. His eyes widen in surprise and he looks confused. "But you were with Cartwright for over a year?" he says as this should explain why he thinks I am not a virgin.

"Yes I was, but it never felt...right. It never felt like it does right now and I don't want my first time with you or anybody for that matter to be on a dusty old couch."

He smiles sweetly at me and brushes his hand across my face as he says, "Of course not. You deserve only the best and a dusty old couch won't do." He climbs onto the couch and pulls us down and onto our sides smooshed on the couch; our bodies touching everywhere. His chest feels perfect against mine as he looks into my eyes. "Is naked cuddling okay then?" He juts out his bottom lip in a pout and gives me puppy dog eyes. I laugh at this and my body shakes up and down with laughter. I suddenly feel something twitch on my thigh and I immediately stop laughing. "As long as you put 'him' away. I don't think I will be able to resist much longer if _he_ sticks around." I level my eyes at him and let out a small laugh as it twitches again.

"I can't help it. You are just so damn sexy." he whispers before he kisses me again. I pull away and give him my 'I mean business' look and he closes his eyes. "Baseball, grandmas," he begins to chant and I let out a loud laugh. He opens his eyes and looks at me treacherously. "I won't be able to put 'him' away with you vibrating like that against my chest." I suck my lips in my mouth as I try to stifle my laughter and smile awkwardly with no lips. He closes his eyes again and starts his chanting, "bicycles,"

"Bicycles?!" I ask loudly and bury the laugh building in my chest.

"Yes, bicycles. They crush...things with their tiny hard seats." I can't stop the laughter this time and it comes out loud and hard. I feel his hand snake around my waist and across my backside and he pinches it. My eyes widen and the laughter dies on my lips and is replaced with surprise. "Hey!" I say playfully. "What was that for?"

"It got you to stop jiggling, didn't it?" Jace says playfully back. Just then I feel 'him' twitch again and I put on a show of being serious for him. I zip up my lips and throw the key away and become a statue. He closes his eyes for a second and then opens one of them to peak at me to make sure I am still being serious. I make a show of pushing my lips together and he closes them once again.

"I can't believe it has come to this, but I won't be able to get 'him' to go away any other way. You're just too hot." I narrow my eyes at his closed ones in confusion as he mutters. "Ducks." and his 'problem' practically vanishes. When he opens his eyes, he can see how hard I am struggling _not_ to laugh and sighs heavily. "Go ahead. I know you want to." he says defeated and I die laughing. "Ha, ha, ha, Ducks?!" I manage to choke out between fits of hysterical laughter. He pulls his arms back and crosses them in the non-existent space between us and pouts. I bring my hands up to cup his face and the laughter dies as I pout my lip back at him. "I'm sorry babe. It was just so random in the moment...I couldn't help myself."

"Yeah, well" he starts as his pout softens at my touch, "they are bloodthirsty little beasts and they maybe scare me a little." he says quietly and like he is admitting his deepest darkest secret.

"Awww, you poor thing." I say as I put on my pity face. "I will make a deal with you. You take on any Asmodei that might come at me and I will take on all of the bloodthirsty ducks that may attack us while walking hand in hand for a romantic stroll in the park." I am proud of myself that only one tiny laugh broke through while I was saying that. He turns his head into my hand that is on his face and kisses my palm. "Deal." he says and he seals it with a kiss to my lips.

We stay on the couch for a while just talking and laughing and learning everything there is to know about each other. Luke isn't really his dad. His parents died a few years ago when the Asmodei found his family. I think he blames himself for not being able to protect them with the way he was talking about it and he plays the piano because it reminds him of his mom. He grew up near one of the other Institutes near Cape Canaveral Florida. Apparently that is why he can swim so well.

I tell him about my childhood. My father made me and Jonathan take endless amounts of Taekwondo classes and was only satisfied when we got our black belts when we were 15 and 16. I realize now why he was so adamant about us leaning to fight. I told him about when mom 'discovered' the potentially inhabitable planet and would always come home and tell me about what she knew about it. How drawing and painting is like my way of keeping a diary. How I love just about every genre of music there is. Hours must have passed while we stayed in our own little world hidden away from everybody. The more we talked, the more I never wanted to leave. He was perfect for me in every way. The yin to my yang. The chocolate to my milk.

"Have you checked down here?" we hear a voice shout from outside of the room and I am pretty sure it's my brother's. "Jonathan!" I whisper loudly and sit up. Jace rolls off of the couch lightning fast and throws me my bra. I pull it on hastily and throw my shirt on and pick up my pants off of the floor. I look over at Jace who is jumping into his and I pull mine on hastily and button them and slip my sandals back on while Jace runs his fingers through his perfect gold hair. I can see his muscles flexing when he does that and I can't help but stare. He sees my staring and crosses the room back to me and takes me in his arms. "Do you like what you see, princess?" he says as he smiles sexily at me.

"I do very, very, very much like what I see." I say seductively back at him. He pulls me into a passionate kiss that I can feel all the way down to the tips of my toes. His body molds around mine and we both crush each other into the other in a deep kiss. That is when we hear someone jingle the doorknob and then seconds later it flys open and Jace and I bolt apart as my brother walks in with a stele in his hand. He sucks in a surprised breath and his eyes open wide as he sees us both in the room. I step back away from my brother and grab Jace's hand.

"You should come with me, Clary." he whispers as he looks back out of the door. "Mom has like ten people looking for you."

I turn around and I can see the hesitation on Jace's face as I stand up on the tips of my toes and kiss him hard and quick. He returns the kiss with only about half of the passion I can tell he wants to and I step away from him and walk with my brother out of the room as he whispers to Jace, "Leave in five minutes." Jonathan closes the door and I turn on him instantly and before I can even say anything he says, "I won't say a word _and_ I had no idea about the marriage thing. I just wanted you to know that I didn't know." and we begin to walk down the hall. "I found her!" Jonathan yells loudly and I see Jonathan Cartwright come flying around the corner. I scowl at him as he races up to me and stops right in front of me. He stupidly leans down like he is going to hug me and for the second time today, I slap a boy named Jonathan hard across the face. He steps back in shock as he raises his hand to cover his face. My brother actually laughs a little.

"Yeah, man. I know. For such a tiny little munchkin she sure can pack a hit." my brother laughs.

"Was it all just a lie?" I yell angrily at him. "Was it all just a game to you? Did you ever actually like me or was that just a part of your act?!"

He puts his hands up, palms out, and begins to answer me, stumbling over his words. "No, Clary. It...it was never a lie with you. I really do love you! I never wanted to kiss stupid Jayda Jones but _they_ made me because of Sebastian. Please, please believe me." His voice is pleading and his face is full of worry. The part about Jayda took me seriously by surprise. I will have to figure that out later because anger is the only thing I can feel right now towards him.

"Bullshit!" I scream at him. He flinches and takes a step back. "Every word that ever came out of your mouth, every touch you stole from me, every kiss you ever gave me was a fucking lie!" I am trembling with anger at this point. Jon C. tries to speak but all that comes out are a bunch of jumbled words. "I...I...you don't...I never didn't..."

"Shut up!" I snap at him. I can see the hurt flash behind his eyes and I am glad that I am the one causing it. "No matter what you say now, it won't change the fact that you lied to me every day you ever knew me. How am I supposed to know what was true and what wasn't? I didn't even know what you really looked like for fucks sake!" I flick my hand towards the marks all over his body. I sigh heavily with a sudden headache and I rub my brows. "Just go away, Jon." I say quietly to him. He turns without a sound and walks away in the opposite direction that my brother and I are facing.

We begin to walk and I look up my brother and I think of a question to ask him. "I could tell you didn't know about Sebastian by your reaction, Jonathan. But I do have one question for you." I put my hand on his arm and get him to stop and face me. "Did Izzy know?" He drops his gaze from my face to the floor and I know the answer without him having to say it out loud. "She knew." is all I say before walking off while Jonathan catches up.

He leads me back to my room and I open the door to find my mother sitting on my bed. I roll my eyes and huff as Jonathan whispers good luck and goes to his room. I look to the clock on the wall and see that it is nearing five o'clock. "Where have you been, Clary?" she says with thinly veiled anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I put a wrench in whatever your plans for me were today? Was there going to be a surprise wedding or a third child pop up out of nowhere?" I fold my arms across my chest at her. "Or did you plan on telling me that I no longer have any control over my own life?" This shuts her up and she looks down at the floor.

"Actually there is one more thing that you should now." Mom says lowly.

I don't even get mad at her this time. I can't find the energy to. "Go ahead. Spit it out." I say angrily.

She looks up at me and motions for me to sit. I make a show of staying where I am and she begins. "It is kind of a long story that starts three thousand years ago."

"Seriously, mom? Something that has to do with me started three thousand years ago?" I ask incredulously.

Her eyes flash up in annoyance and says, "Yes, it does. Now would you let me finish?" I wave my hand at her to continue. "Three thousand years ago our race was very much like the humans on this world. There are portals throughout the universe that lead to other dimensions and in some of those dimensions are creatures. Creatures that are, for lack of a better word, demons." I raise my brows at her in disbelief but don't say anything as she continues. "There was a man named Jonathan Shadowhunter who summoned an angel to ask for help to defeat these demons. This angel, Raziel, poured his blood into a cup and gave it to Jonathan Shadowhunter to drink. When he did, he became more powerful and was able to bear the Marks of heaven." She points to the black marks that cover her body that I was never able to see before. "After a fifteen-hundred years of fighting, we were able to banish all of the demons from our world. After that, there was a long peace. We began to grow our race by breeding with those who weren't like us Shadowhunters and soon, our entire planet was full of nothing but Shadowhunters which is what we now call our race. We began to develop technology and even expanded to live on a nearby planet in our same solar system. But the ones who went to live there...changed. There were rumors of a Greater Demon that had become their leader and given them his blood to drink. This made them exceptionally strong and the marks they bore were demonic in nature and were bright red instead of black and they began to call themselves the Asmodei.

"Years later, the Greater Demon wanted to expand his power to our planet. There were intense arguments about what to do. Some people wanted to try and save them and others wanted to just kill them all and that is where the divide between our people came. The Asmodei saw our divide and decided to attack while we were busy fighting with each other. When your father saw we were losing there was a vote with the people of our world and it was decided to summon the angel Raziel again for his help. He came and gave us some more of his blood but there was only enough for one person. He told us that someone who was pregnant would drink it and the child in the womb would be endowed with special powers that would be able to defeat the Asmodei." She looks pointedly at me. "I was pregnant with you at the time."

"And let me guess, you are the one who drank it." I ask snarkily.

"Yes, Clary. I was and you are the special one who is supposed to bring down the Asmodei."

"Well this is just great." I say and throw my hands up in the air. "Not only am I an alien, but I am a freak _among_ the aliens and now, everyone expects me to save a whole fucking planet with some crazy ability that I probably don't even have." What in the hell is it they think I can do? Blow things up with my mind? "Oooo, I know!" I say sarcastically. "I can paint them a picture that makes them fall under my spell and then I will make them strip naked and run through the streets where they will die of embarrassment."

"That is _enough_ , Clary!" My mother shouts as she stands.

"You're right. That is enough! Is there anything else at all, _dear mother_ , that you have neglected to tell me other than I am not human, I have no real friends, my mother and father lied to me my whole life, I am engaged, and now I supposedly have some special ability that is going to save 'my race' so I can go to a world that is not my home?"

"Yes, Clary. We are eating dinner with the Verlacs' tonight and I expect you to be there." She says sharply.

"Why should I go? I want a reason, and a good one, as to why I should go."

My mother steps forward to meet her green eyes to mine and says, "Because if you don't, there will be war among our people and my, and your, entire race will die. This may feel like your home, but it is not. Our people don't belong here." She steps to me again and looks deeply into my eyes and says "Clary, I have wronged you so many times that I no longer have any right to ask anything of you. But here I am, begging you to do this. I swore an oath to an entire race of people to protect them and fight for them as your grandmother did, and her mother, and her mother, and so on and so on. Being a Queen is full of so many hard choices where you have to chose the lesser of two evils. I chose for my family to bear this burden when I drank Raziel's blood and signed that treaty because it was too much to ask of any of my people." She steps forward again and grabs my hands. I let her. "I am in no way perfect. I did what was best for our people because I love them. They have suffered so much loss the past twenty years. Over three quarters of our population was killed by the Asmodei. Millions of entire families were eradicated. People lost every single person they loved and then were forced to leave their home, our planet, and take up residence on this alien planet and hide who they are from everyone." She gives a small smile without humor as she says this next part. "I would imagine they felt a lot like you do now having so much of what you thought was you life was taken away from you."

I close my eyes for a second and try to imagine what they went through. Being slaughtered and losing everything they loved and everything their families had accomplished for thousands of years. Being forced to leave the only home you have ever known and retreat into hiding. To live in hope that one day someone, a savior, would come along and bring justice to all they have lost and destroy the people who took it from them. No matter how much I feel like a human, I am not one and I need to keep reminding myself of that.

"Please, Clary, just come to dinner and talk with these people. Make nice for one evening." I pull my hands out of hers and turn my back to her and take a few steps away. "I know you are upset about the treaty.."

"No Mom, I am more than just _upset_." I snap at her.

"But please, just talk with Sebastian. He seems like such a wonderful boy."

Ugh, because we know when your mom says 'he seems like such a wonderful boy' that is code for a boring ass hat who is a suck up. "Fine, mom. I will go to the stupid dinner. But I do have one question."

"What is it?" she asks sweetly. I can hear the undertones of excitement in her voice of the fact that I agreed to go to dinner.

"Does Sebastian know about the treaty?" What I am really asking her is does he know he is supposed to marry me.

"He does. He has known for a few years now and has had time to resign himself to the idea. He was very glad to see how beautiful you are. He couldn't stop talking..."

I cut her off because she is going too far. I can't hear about this right now when I feel like I am betraying Jace. "Just go away mom. I said I will be there and I will." I turn back around to face her again. "What am I supposed to were to this dinner?"

She points to the wardrobe then. "There is a beautiful deep purple silk dress in there that Isabelle picked out that I think would be perfect for the occasion."

"Izzy picked out all of those clothes?" I ask incredulously. Her response is to nod. She moves to the door and stops and looks back at me. "Dinner is at six-thirty so I suggest you start getting ready now."

I look at the clock and see that it is now five-twenty as my mother shuts the door behind her. I go to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is sticking up in a few places from my day spent laying with Jace (I smile inwardly at this) and I am in desperate need of some concealer for the dark circles under my eyes. Before I even look in the cabinet under the sink, I know that I will find make up and hair styling tools because if Izzy is the one who stocked my room, there is no way she wouldn't include those things. I open the door to the cabinet and sure enough, there is a very large bag of name brand make up and about five different tools to style your hair with. I smile a little at knowing that she would put those things down there and the curse myself for doing so. She _was_ and _is_ a liar who kept everything about myself from me while pretending to be my friend for the sake of her job. If this were a week ago, I would ask her to come over and do my hair and makeup while we prattled on about stupid stuff that doesn't really matter. But it is not a week ago.

I slam the cabinet doors shut and step back into the room and pick up and expensive looking vase and throw it at the wall. I watch with satisfaction as it shatters into a million pieces. It kind of reminds me of my life and my heart at the moment. Something that was beautiful and strong on its own just moments ago is now in a million tiny little sparkly pieces that no matter how long it takes and how hard you try, you will never be able to put all of the pieces back in exactly the right place to make it whole again.

I walk over to the bed and sit down on it and wait for the tears to come. A few minutes later when none do, I stand up and march back into the bathroom and pull out the makeup and hair products and begin to attempt to not poke my eye out and burn my face. I wonder if I would cry if I did or if I am past being able to cry anymore. I briefly think about putting the flat iron to my skin and seeing if it will make me cry. I shake my head and quickly shove away the thought. That is not a road I need to go down at this moment.

I engulf my mind in getting ready. I carefully curl my hair in wavy curls with the flat iron the way... _someone_ showed me and put makeup on in the way that it makes my eyes look greener and bigger the way... _someone_ showed me. When I am done, I look at myself and think that I haven't done so bad. I go into the wardrobe and find the dress that Mom said to wear and pull it out and it is beautiful. It is a v-neck, wide strapped sleeveless silk dress. I slip it on and survey myself in the mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door. The neckline plunges to my the middle of the valley between my breasts, not allowing me to wear a bra. It is fitted throughout my waist and hugs my hips, making me look like I actually have them, and then falls straight to the floor, tickling the tops of my feet. I need heels if I am not going to trip on the fabric. I give my reflection a another once over in the mirror and am proud of my work. 'I actually look hot' I say to myself and give myself a mental pat on the back.

I slip on the strapy purple heels that were obviously meant to go with this dress and I am suddenly four inches taller. That is when I hear a knock at the door. I glance up at the clock on the wall and see that it is five minutes till six-thirty. I walk over to the door and open it to find my brother in a sleek grey suit with a white button up shirt underneath it. He has the first few unbuttoned with no tie and his hair is actually fixed properly. He looks like he just walked off of the cover of G.Q. magazine. He stands up straight when he sees me and he squints his eyes at me and whistles low and long at me. "You actually _don't_ look like a twelve year old tonight, little sis." he say smugly.

"Fuck off, Jonathan." I mumble as I push past him and he laughs at my response. I vaguely realize that I have no idea where I am going and stop in my tracks. I look back to Jonathan and say, "Well aren't you going to lead the way? I have no clue where I am going and you always seem to."

He smiles wickedly at me as he says, "This is like the third time you have stomped off today without knowing where you were going. I was just wondering how long it would take you to stop and ask for my help. I was curious." I narrow my eyes at his stupid face and imagine punching it a million times as he walks past me and I turn down his offered arm. I am not ready for that yet.

There seem to be a lot of people running about in the lower floors of the Institute at night. I have no idea if this is normal or not but the sheer number of people who have to stop whatever they are doing to bow and curtsy to us makes me want to die of embarrassment. I know it is stupid for me to feel this way because I _am_ a princess, but it still feels really weird and embarrassing when people do it.

We finally reach two large double doors and two guys covered in some wicked looking black fighting gear move to open the doors for us. They both swing wide and we step into a beautiful dining room that is filled with vases of flowers everywhere you look. As soon as Jonathan and I take another step into the room, the group of people who seemed to be admiring a painting, turned at the sound of our entry and I watch as all of their eyes widen with surprise. Michael and his wife, Adriana, smile hugely at me while they look like they were just stunned into stillness.

"Incredible!" Michael booms loudly as he starts to approach us; never taking his eyes off of me. "You look absolutely incredible, my dear." He takes my hand in his as he gently bows and places a kiss on my fingers. I smile sweetly at him as he stands and I give him a meek "Thank you." as his wife curtsies and then kisses my cheek and tells me I look beautiful. I catch a glance at Sophie Verlac and she is openly staring at my brother. I know he is handsome chick, but put your tongue back in your mouth.

My vision is soon taken up by the very dapper looking Sebastian. He is making his way towards me with a smile and soon his eyes have trapped mine. He is dressed almost exactly like Jonathan except for his suit is black. The first few buttons of his shirt are undone, like Jonathan's, revealing the top of a very defined chest and the hint of a swirling black mark. I feel myself blush again under his intense gaze and my mouth goes dry. "You look beyond incredible tonight, Clary." he says in his deep voice. He leans down and bows gently as he takes my hand and lets his lips linger on my fingers a little longer than necessary. "I didn't think to ever be this lucky." he whispers lowly to me as he stands back up. I swallow harshly as I suddenly think of Jace and I let my eyes fall out of his gaze. "Thank you." I manage to squeak out with a shy smile that I offer back at him. He offers his arm to me and says, "Shall we?" I graciously accept his offer and place my hand on the inside of his arm as he guides us to our seats. He pulls out my chair for me and gently presses it to the back of my legs as I slowly lower myself into the seat. He executes it perfectly and I suddenly wonder if he was forced to take any etiquette classes like me and Jonathan were.

I look across to the table and watch as Jonathan does the same thing for Sophie perfectly and then unbuttons his coat before taking the seat next to her. There is an empty place setting at the head of the table where I am assuming my mother will be sitting whenever she decides to grace us with her presence. The Consul and his wife are seated on either side of table next to my mom and then I am next to Michael and then Sebastian on my other side. Jonathan is seated directly across from me and Sophie is directly across from Sebastian. I take a chance to look at Sophie and she looks beautiful. Her chocolate brown hair is curled perfectly into an up do and there are a few strands of hair that are loose to frame her face. She is wearing a stunning blue dress that is the perfect color to compliment her skin. My brother seems to notice this also and kicks me under the table. When I look up at him he nods his head to Sophie and he wags his brows up and down quickly and I can't help but roll my eyes at him.

My mother decides to grace us with her presence then and comes in the doors in a whirlwind. Everyone, save me, begins to stand up when my mother continues to walk to her seat and motions for everyone to sit down. "No please don't get up for my sake." she says with a smile on her face that I can tell is forced. Michael quickly pushes his chair back and moves to pull out my mother's for her. She smiles brightly at him and places one hand over her heart and smiles at him as she says, "I can see that you are still the perfect picture of a gentleman, Michael." He smiles sweetly at her and executes sitting her in her chair perfectly before returning to his spot next to me.

We then lapse into our own little conversations as people begin to bring out the first course. That is when Izzy catches my eye. She is standing over in the corner of the room next to Alec and they seem to be there for my and Jonathan's benefit as they watch us like a hawk. I am thankful for Sebastian when he asks me how I am liking the Institute because it helps me tear my eyes of off Izzy. I look up to him as he gently smiles at me and waits for my answer.

"It is...very large." I say with a smile. "I have no idea where anything is and it always seems to take a good ten minutes of walking to get to where ever you are going."

He gives a little laugh before he says, "Tell me about it. I have already gotten lost three times since arriving this morning." I laugh a little and turn my eyes up to his, glad to have someone else feel just as lost as I feel in this labyrinth and offer him a smile. "So," Sebastian says as they serve us a salad, "how long have you known about all of this?" His eyes do a quick once over the room and my smile falls dead on my lips as I clear my throat of the lump that has just taken up residence there. "Oh, I'm sorry, Clary. Did I say something wrong to make your beautiful smile go away?"

'Ugh, this is so awkward' I think to myself as I offer him a small smile. "No, you didn't say anything wrong, Sebastian. It's just that...I only found out yesterday morning."

His eyes fly open wide and his jaw falls open as he says louder than necessary in astonishment, "Yesterday morning?!" Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at Sebastian. He clears his throat and apologizes for his outburst before refocusing his attention towards me. He takes in a long breath before he speaks. "For just finding out about all of this yesterday morning, I would say you are holding up exceptionally well. When I found out, I didn't come out of my room for nearly a month." I watch as a veil of sadness crosses over his eyes.

"You mean, you haven't always known who you are?" I ask him curiously. Maybe we have more in common than I thought.

"No, I found out when I was seventeen, just over four years ago." He takes a sip of the wine that has been set in front of him. "And let me tell you, I was _not_ happy. To find out that your whole existence was just some great lie thrust upon you without your permission or knowledge is way more horrible than one word can describe." He looks down at his salad with nothing but sadness in his eyes and it breaks my heart. I reach my hand out and place it on his arm as a sign of comfort and he turns his head and smiles gently at me. He lightly grabs my hand that is resting on his arm and places a chaste kiss onto my fingers as he breaks out of his reverie. He lets go of my hand and turns his attention back to me. "What a gentleman I am. Here you are, not even two days out of finding out who you really are and you are the one comforting me." I smile softly at him as he says, "I am sure I don't deserve someone as gracious and strong as you are being in this moment."

Sebastian suddenly looks at me hard and I can see determination form behind his eyes. "You know what, I don't think you should be here right now having to put on your 'proper' face right now." Sebastian clears his throat and looks to my mother who in turn, looks expectantly back at him. "If you wouldn't mind too terribly, your Majesty, I was wondering if there was any way to have mine and Clary's dinner served to us in the Institute garden out back. I feel that she deserves a break from all of this" he gestures around the room, "after just finding out yesterday morning about us and the treaty."

I lean into him and whisper, "I actually found out about the treaty after I met you this afternoon."

He looks at me in astonishment and then sets his napkin on the table as he says, "That's it." He looks up to my mother again and says "Your Majesty." waiting for her permission. She furrows her brows slightly then nods her approval. Sebastian stands up and then moves behind my chair and pulls it out for me and then takes my hand in his and begins to lead the way. I quickly pray that he knows where he is going since he told me that he had gotten lost three times. I glance back at the table and see my mother and Jonathan looking after me questioningly and Michael Verlac is smiling at the sight of Sebastian holding my hand. Even though I am pretty sure that it is just a friendly gesture, I am sure he sees it as something more. We push through the doors as Izzy and some other guy move to follow us from a comfortable distance. Not too close to hear what we are saying but close enough to get to us if need be. He looks back down at me and smiles warmly and I can't help but return it. After a few minutes of walking and comfortable silence while he holds my hand, we walk up to beautiful glass doors that lead to a massive garden that I can just barely make out on the other side. He looks down at me and one side of his mouth turns up and he says, "Are you ready?" while placing his hand on the handles of the doors.

I smile back at him and nod my head and he pushes the doors open to the most beautiful garden I have ever seen. I step through the doors and into the incredibly large and enclosed garden and immediately think 'I wish Jace was here' and it takes all the will power that I have to maintain the smile on my lips.


	9. Chapter 9

Sebastian leads me further into the garden by grabbing my hand. His hand is incredibly large and practically swallows my tiny hand whole. "I found this just before dinner tonight." We round the corner of some tall plants and find a cast iron table that is being quickly set by some people. They throw a table cloth over the top of the table and set a very small vase of flowers in the middle along with the intricate place settings that were in the dinning room.

He begins to take off his suit jacket and then folds it up a few times and then places it on the seat of one of the cast iron chairs. This simple gentlemanly gesture makes me smile warmly at him as he motions for me to take my seat as he once again perfectly executes sliding the chair under me. "I know that dress is thin and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable sitting in this hard chair all night." He says as he takes his seat. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and I can see how muscular his arms are and the black marks that are covering him.

"Thank you, Sebastian. That is very sweet of you." I say honestly to him. I look around at our surroundings and marvel at the amount of beautiful flowers. One particular plant catches my eyes. I can see the flower buds are tightly closed but there is a sort of light coming from inside of them. Sebastian follows my gaze and then smiles knowingly at me. "Those flowers are not from this world. They are from our home world." I look at him in astonishment as he continues. "They are potted in soil that came from our planet because this one doesn't have the nutrients in the soil that allow that particular plant to live." He pushes away from the table and picks up the large potted plant like it weighed as much as a feather and brings it over to the small table and places it next to me. As I get a good look at it, I can clearly see the light shining from inside of the buds. I suddenly would kill for my prisma color pencils as my hands twitch. Sebastian kneels down beside me and dives his hands into the soil and brings a handful of it to me. "This" his eyes force mine to lock with his, "is the soil from your home planet. Our home planet where we will someday return." His dark brown eyes are intense and full of emotion.

I break eye contact with him and bring my hand up to his and stick my fingers in the soil. It is pitch black and when it is disturbed, I can see little tiny shiny flecks of something but I have no idea what it is. It is soft and for the first time, with my hand in the soil that is in Sebastian's hands, I don't feel like I am human. I am struck by the grandeur of it all. A small smile graces my lips as I look back up to meet Sebastian's eyes that are watching me intently. He closes his hands around mine and encloses it in the soil and says softly, "This is what we are fighting for. Our world. Our home."

I am suddenly struck by his intensity and the feelings he brings to the surface with his words and a tear slips out of my eye as the words strike a cord with me. Sebastian sees this and quickly pulls his hands away and dumps the soil back into the pot. He brushes his hands off hastily and then reaches into his pocket and produces a handkerchief. I smile a little and laugh as he hands it to me. "You have a handkerchief?" I say through my smiling lips incredulously. He takes my hand that was in the dirt and brushes it off gently with his two hands as he answers me. "My mother sent us to spend the summers in Paris with my aunt every few years. She sent us to strict etiquette classes when we visited where she drilled into us a few basic things." He stands up and releases my hand he was cleaning with his and moves to sit back down at the table across from me. "A gentleman must always carry a handkerchief." he says in a horrible impression of a french accent.

I laugh at this and say, "Don't quit your day job because, no offense, but your accent was horrible." He smiles widely at this and gives one small quick laugh as he says, "Duly noted."

The waiter guy returns then with two glasses of wine for us and the main course. We lapse into comfortable conversation where he has me smiling constantly. He tells me about his childhood at the beach and his summers at his strict Aunt's house in Paris. He tells me some absolutely hilarious stories of him and his sister playing pranks on her where she would then lapse into a rant about how Sebastian and his sister will be the 'death of her'. I tell him about all of the trouble Jonathan and I would get into when our competitive nature would get the best of us. "There was this one time when I was nine and Jonathan was ten" I tell him "and we took the chains and brakes off of our bicycles and took them to a nearby steep hill in our neighborhood. Jonathan and I wanted to see who would stay on the bike the longest without getting scared and jumping off while barreling down the hill at break neck speeds." I hear a quick laugh and we both look over to the corner of the room where our 'body guards' are and I see Izzy trying to stifle a laugh at the memory. She was there, of course, to witness the whole awful thing. I scowl at her and she wipes the smile off of her face and becomes a statue again. "Anyway," I say exaggeratedly as I turn back to Sebastian and smile as I finish my story. "here we are, at the top of the hill and Jonathan starts to get scared. One of our 'friends' (I make air quotes) counts us down and we take off. Within seconds, my scaredy cat brother jumps off of his bike and I stupidly let go of my handle bars to raise my hands in celebration and I lose control of the bike. The wheel jerked violently to the left and it sends me flying forward and into a car where I break my femur. I had to have surgery to fix it and now I have a long thin scar up the inside of my thigh."

"No way!" Sebastian exclaims. "That giant man in there jumped off before his tiny baby sister?!"

I smile widely at him as I nod my head and before I even think about what I am doing, I stand up out of my chair and begin to pull up the skirt of my dress to show him the scar on my inner thigh. I pull the dress up to the middle of my thigh and point to my scar. "See. There is all the proof you need." I say proudly as glance down and see my leg perched on top of my strappy heels. I look up to Sebastian's face and that is when I realize what I have just done. His eyes are wide and are dragging slowly up and down my leg as I see him let out a slow unsteady breath. I immediately blush furiously and drop the hem of my dress. I scoot nervously back into my seat as I start to apologize profusely. "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Sebastian. I didn't think about what I was doing. I have this habit of rushing into things head first without thinking about it."

Sebastian reaches across the table and rests his hand on top of mine comfortingly. I stop my rambling and look up at him as he smiles kindly at me. "Don't worry about it, Clary. Trust me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about with legs like yours."

I drop my face to the table as I am attacked with another wave of blood rushing to my face. I swear, this man has made me blush so much in just one day. I notice he still hasn't taken his hand off of mine and I look back up at him as dessert is brought to the table. I can see something burning in his eyes as he says in almost a whisper, "Your face lights up beautifully when you blush." It is this precise moment that I suddenly feel a pull towards the glass doors. I look over to them and see a blonde someone standing on the other side but with the fading sunlight and the lanterns hanging around the garden, I can't make out their face. Sebastian follows my gaze and asks if everything is alright. I nod and plaster a fake smile on my lips as I look back to him and pull back my hand. Sebastian looks over to his body guard and some silent communication passes between them and his body guard starts walking towards the doors.

"Now, where were we?" Sebastian says sweetly as he gives me a soft smile. "Oh yes. Dessert." he says and then winks at me. The way he does it though makes me smile instead of cringe. I know he meant it jokingly (referring to my legs as dessert) and I return his smile with a small laugh.

I devour my chocolate lava cake (I _love_ chocolate cake) and lean back into my chair, completely satisfied food-wise. Sebastian looks admiringly at me and I narrow my eyes gently at him and say, "What?"

He leans forward and places his elbows on the table. "I am so glad that you have and appetite. You wouldn't believe how many girls barely touch their food when out on a date."

"So most of your girlfriends have been anorexic? Figures. But I am _not_ one of those girls. I _love_ bread and steaks and practically anything chocolate. But my all time favorite food combination is chocolate and peanut butter flavored anything." I sit forward, excited to be talking about food and say, "There is this recipe in a small Hershey's cookbook back at my house for these uuhh-maze-ing peanut butter bars with a semi-sweet chocolate topping." I close my eyes as the memory of the taste fills me with bliss.

I hear Sebastian laugh heartily at me and say "You should probably wipe the drool off of your face." I bring my hand up to my mouth in horror and find nothing. I narrow my eyes at him and pick up my napkin and throw it at him playfully. "Liar." I say to him as he laughs harder. He stands up and comes over to me and holds out one of his hands. I crane my neck up to look at him and take his hand. "I want to show you something." he says as he pulls my chair out as I stand. He takes my hand and places it on his arm as he leads me back through the glass doors, opening them for me, and then leads me down the hall. We come to familiar wooden doors that I remember from this afternoon. We enter the library and he leads me to the back of the room with a smile on his face as he motions for our body guards to stay outside of the room and they shut the doors to give up privacy. We come to a stop in front of a globe perched on a stand and I take a long look at it a realize that it is not Earth.

"This," he points to the globe "is our planet Idris." I step forward and run my fingers along the surface of the globe. There are large land masses with giant lakes all throughout them. I spin the globe in my hand and come to stop on a part of the world that is made up of nothing but islands all clustered together. I look up at Sebastian who is watching me intensely and I look at him with pure gratitude. "Thank you for showing me this, Sebastian. The more time I spend with you and talk with you, the less human I feel; which is a good thing, I guess."

He steps closer to me, never letting my eyes go from his gaze and reaches down and takes one of my hands in his; swallowing it whole. He brings his other hand up to my face and slowly drags the back of his fingers across my cheek as the look in his eyes change. He begins to lean down and he glances at my lips and all I can think about is Jace. Just as his lips are about to touch mine, I turn my head gently away and he stops his advance. He pulls back and stands up straight and speaks barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry, Clary. I should have known it's too soon."

I shake my head softly. "No. It's okay, Sebastian. It's just all still really new to me. I've had such a long day."

Sebastian straightens out and smiles warmly at me and offers me his arm. "Well in that case, may I walk you back to your bedroom?" I crane my neck up to his really tall frame and nod. I take his offered arm and he leads me out of the room. He stops when he sees Izzy and says, "Would you be so kind as to lead us back to her room?" Izzy nods her head and offers him a small smile and begins the journey without a glance at me. There are very few people in the halls but the ones that are there bow and curtsy until I pass. I look up to Sebastian who looks back down at me. "I don't think I will ever get used to people bowing and curtsying to me. It's embarrassing."

His smile falters a little as he brings two of his fingers to my chin and pulls my face up so his eyes can lock with mine. "You should never be embarrassed of who you are, Clary." I blush a little at his intensity as he continues. "You don't know much about our history yet but you come from a very long line of amazing and strong women who deserved to be Queen of our proud race. And after meeting you and speaking with you, I am sure you will be every bit as amazing and wonderful as they were."

We come to my door then and I reach up and take his hand that is on my chin and bring down to hold it in between us. "Thank you so much for dinner Sebastian. It wasn't like anything I was expecting. I thought I was going to have an awful time but it was actually quite a nice reprieve from all of my sulking." I smile weakly at him.

"Well I am glad that I didn't disappoint." He looks up to our guards knowingly and they turn around to give us privacy. "You exceeded any expectation that I had of you and made this evening very enjoyable and I am counting the minutes till I get to see your beautiful face again." I blush at his words and he brings my hand up to his lips and kisses the back of my fingers, holding his lips to them, with his eyes closed as he takes a deep breath. He lets go of that kiss only to place another one on the back of my other hand and this simple gesture makes my heart flutter uncomfortably. He brings our hands down in between us and looks at me. "Goodnight, Clary." he says lowly in his deep baritone voice and then he is walking away. I watch him get further and further away and just before he is about to turn the corner and disappear down the stairs, he looks back to me and smiles hugely when he sees me looking after him and then he disappears around the corner.

I turn around towards my room and see Izzy standing a little too close and smiling at me. "He seems nice." she says to me. I glower at her. "Nobody asked you what you thought, now did they?" I say venomously at her and I push into my room. I shut the door and lean against it as I close my eyes. Why the hell did he have to be so charming? Why couldn't he just be a complete asshole to me so I can tell my mom to shove her treaty where the sun doesn't shine. And to make matters worse, all I want right now is Jace. My heart begins to ache for him. I want to go back to earlier today and live in our own little world where no one can find us. I wish I didn't go to the dinner and talk with Sebastian so I could conjure up the idea of him to be some sort of movie villain who just wants to be in power. I didn't want me to actually like him.

I shove off of my door and throw myself on my bed as I hug a pillow and wish it was Jace. I can feel my heart calling to him and I miss him desperately. I want to tell him how mad I am at myself for meeting Sebastian when I should have been wrapped in his arms. "Clary!" I hear a man's voice whisper yell in the crack of my door. I jump up like a bullet because I know exactly who it is. "Jace!" I shout to the door and fling it open. He scoots in and I stick my head out in the hallway to see if anyone saw and there, peaking from her doorway, is Izzy. I narrow my eyes at her and shut the door. Jace immediately places both hands on either side of my face. "Are you okay, Clary? I got this feeling that you needed me; that you were upset." I step into him and wrap my arms around him feeling whole again. "You felt that?" I ask in his ear.

"Of course I felt it. I can feel you all the time and especially when you are near."

"Me too, Jace. I can feel you too. Why is that, do you think? Is this how it always is when you are in love?" I feel him stiffen under my arms and I realize what I just said. I said that I was in love with him. Oh no. He is going to think I am absolutely crazy. We have only known each other for a week.

He pulls back and I close my eyes and prepare myself for him to go running. I can already feel my heart tearing in half when he says, "I love you too, my Clary." I open my eyes in astonishment as he brings his hand to my face and sends bolts of electricity through me. He looks into my eyes and I can see every ounce of his soul in his eyes and that he really does love me like I love him.

He slides his hand around to the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss. He pulls back a little too soon and steps away as he looks down at what I am wearing. "You look insanely incredible tonight. This dress is amaz... are you wearing a bra?" He asks midway through his statement and I give a little chuckle. I smile sexily at him and shake my head no. He groans and then looks back down at me. "I mean, I knew you were really hot but I didn't know you could be so damn sexy inside of clothes as well as out of them." I giggle at him as he looks at me hungrily and I turn around slowly and put my back to him as I pull my long hair over one shoulder and look over the other one back to him. "I can't really reach the zipper and I was wondering if you could be so kind as to help me."

I watch as the color of his eyes darken and he slowly takes the two steps to me and then I can feel his fingers slide down the deep v of the dress along my back and come to rest on the zipper. He slowly slides it down as he leans forward and kisses the curve of where my neck meets my shoulders and I know with that one simple kiss that this is it for me. Tonight he will take what I have saved for him and it will forever and always be his. I will never love anyone like I love my Jace.

Once it is all the way unzipped, he brings his hands up to my shoulders and slowly and gently pushes the dress off of them and it falls to the floor in a puddle of purple. His hands come around to the front of me and his touch sets my soul on fire. I lean my head back against his shoulder and my breathing becomes ragged as he caresses every inch of me. He turns me around and claims my lips as I reach for the hem of his shirt and lift it over his head slowly. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he kisses slow wet kisses up and down my neck. I can feel all of his love for me in each and every one of the kisses he places on my skin.

He lays me gently down on the bed and pulls back to look into my eyes. "I love you, Clarissa Morgenstern, more than I could have ever thought possible."

"I love you too, Jace Herondale. I love you in a way I could have never imagined and I will love you forever. And if there is a life after this one, I will love you then."

He leans down and kisses me like he has never kissed me before. I can feel his emotions pouring out of him and into me and a tear escapes my eyes. "Make love to me." I whisper and he does just that. I actually lose count after three times and he gives me the most magical night I could have ever expected. Somewhere near four a.m., we are laying in the bed, our legs tangled in the sheets and in each other when he says, "I really should go." as he closes his eyes.

"Please stay. Just until I fall asleep." I whisper back to him. "Of course, my Clary." he whispers and within a few minutes, I am asleep.

* * *

I wake up cradled against Jace's chest with his arm wrapped around me and I smile hugely. One of my legs is draped over him and I see something out of the corner of my eye. I jerk my head to look behind me and I see my mom standing beside my bed looking murderous. "Mom!" I shout as I sit up quickly, pulling the sheets around myself. Jace sits up abruptly too and the moment his eyes meet the sight of my mother he scrambles out of the bed, covering himself with his hands as he says surprised, "Your Majesty!"

I grab a pillow and throw it to him and he covers himself up with it as I scoot off of the bed to stand in front of my mother. "What in the _hell_ is going on here?" She shouts while staring daggers at Jace. He begins to stumble over some incoherent words as I step directly into her line of site forcing her to look at me.

"What is going on is," I say acidly, "is I just had _MIND BLOWING_ sex over _and_ over again with the man I _love_!"

This completely takes my mother, and Jace for that matter, completely by surprise. My mom looks at me dumbfounded and then back at Jace who looks just as dumbfounded as my mother. "Clarissa Seraphina Morgenstern." she says through clenched teeth as soon as the shock of my statement wears off.

* * *

 **-Izzy**

I can barely hear anything through these dumb thick walls. I press my ear harder against the wall as I try and make out the shouting. "...just had _MIND BLOWING_ sex with...over and over...man...love!"

Oh my _God_! Did Clary just tell her mother she mind blowing sex over and over again?!

* * *

 **-Clary**

"Don't Clarissa me, mother. I am a grown ass woman and I can make my own damn decisions. Since the moment I saw Jace, I was in love with him. It only took me three days to figure that out. When he touches me, it feels like electricity is running through my body lighting every nerve ending on fire."

"Please, Clary. Spare me all of the details." Mom says bitterly at me.

"No, you came into my room without permission. It serves you right that you saw something you didn't want to see." I glance back at Jace who has slipped on his boxers and then turn my attention back to her. "Now why don't you leave so I can have sex with him one more time before I have to go and pretend that I am going to marry Sebastian!"

She takes an incredibly long and deep breath before saying lowly to me while turning her frigid gaze to me. "You have ten minutes to get dressed and for him to leave and then I am coming back and we will talk about this." She turns in a huff as she tightens her robe and goes flying out of my room and slams the door shut. I turn back to Jace and his eyes are wide and filled with horror. "I can't believe you just talked to the Queen like that." he says lowly.

I drop the sheet I have wrapped around me and his eyes move southward to my naked frame as I saunter over to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips down to mine and I can feel him relax almost instantly. I pull back and whisper, "She doesn't scare me. She is just my mother to me and I am an adult and it is about time she realizes that." I kiss down his neck and onto the top of his chest I can feel 'him' jump. He steps back away from me and pulls his pants on. "As much as I would love to stay; and _believe me_ , I would love to stay, I really should go before she comes back and deals with me officially instead of as the guy who she just caught in her daughters room."

"Ugh...fine. I move away and lean on one of the four tall posters that are on the corners of the bed. He gets completely dressed before looking back to me in confusion. "Aren't you going to put your clothes on?" he asks me. "Nope. I am going to make it as hard as possible for you to leave me here." and I smile wickedly at him as he groans in frustration. He walks over to me and presses me against him as he kisses me one last time and then leaves through my door with one last glance at me. As soon as the door is shut, I pull on the robe that is on the back of the bathroom door and wait for my mother in the chair at the desk.

She comes in the door five minutes later without even knocking and she looks furious. Good.

"What in the hell, Clarissa?!" she shouts at me. I don't even flinch. "You are engaged to another man!"

I stand up; angry at her words. "No, mother. _You_ say that I am engaged; not me."

"It doesn't matter what you think, Clary!"

"You see, right there!" I point at her angrily as my voice rises. "You just said it doesn't matter what I think about being engaged to a total stranger! That is seriously fucked up, Mom, on _so_ many levels!" I grunt loudly in frustration. "I am in love with Jace, Mom, and I want to marry him!"

She scoffs at my declaration. "No, Clary, you are in lust. You can't possible be in love with that boy after only a week."

" _You_ don't get to tell me what I feel, mother! You may be able to take everything that I love in my life away from me. You may even be able to tell me who to marry, but you will _not_ tell me what I feel and don't feel!"

Mom closes her eyes and brings one hand to her brows while the other plants itself on her hip as she turns and takes a few steps away and a few deep breaths. I stand there, with my arms crossed over my chest and wait for whatever she is going to say next. She walks to the bed and kind of flops down on it looking defeated. "You're right, Clary. I can't tell you what to feel."

Her admission takes me completely by surprise and sucks most of my anger out of me. She looks up at me and says, "I'm sorry, Clary. I should never try to tell you how you feel." She pats the bed beside her for me to sit down and surprisingly, I do...just a little further away than she wanted. "Now, why don't you tell me why you think you love..." I glare at her and she corrects herself. "Why do you love Jace?" she asks with barely masked defeat.

I sigh and close my eyes and try to think of all of the reasons. "He doesn't take any crap from me and comes back fighting every time in the most infuriatingly loveable way. He makes me laugh like I have never laughed before and I instantly feel peace the moment I am in his arms. It is almost impossible for me to feel sad when I am with him." I look away from her because I don't want to see her reaction to what I am about to say. "When he touches me, it is like he is sending electrical pulses into my skin making me come alive like never before. I always know where he is because I can feel him, Mom." I look back at her and she is listening intently to me, suddenly engrossed in what I am saying. "I feel this pull right here," I point to my heart, "that leads me to where ever he is and he feels it too. He always finds me when I am upset and he always makes me feel better by just his touch. I don't know, Mom. I can't think of a better way to explain it."

The more I talked, the more intently she listened until her eyes widened fractionally towards the end of my speech. "So," she begins as she looks directly at me, "you fell in love with him almost instantly; when he holds you, you feel completely at peace; when he touches your skin, it sends electrical pulses through your body and you always feel where he is and his emotions, especially when he is upset and you two can always find each other." As she is saying this, she is ticking away at her fingers like she is counting.

"Yes, but why do you look like you just saw a ghost?" I ask her. She is looking at the wall and her eyes are wide and I can see recognition cross her face before she smooths her expression back out.

"Clary, look at me." I look at her. "You are eating breakfast with Sebastian, Jonathan, and Sophie in forty-five minutes. I suggest you start to get ready and don't forget to take a shower. You smell like sex." and she abruptly stands up and leaves.

"Well that was weird" I mutter to myself and go to take a shower. I am a little sore from last night and some warm water will do me well. Forty-five minutes later I am running down the halls in a beautiful v-neck sleeveless yellow jersey dress that hugs all of my curves gently and stops just above the knee. The color compliments my skin beautifully and actually makes me look like I have a tan. I am wearing white wedges that I am desperately trying not to fall in. My hair is straight today and hangs halfway down my back and I am only wearing a little bit of makeup.

Every time I come across someone, I slow down to a brisk walk as they bow or curtsy at me and I offer them a warm smile. I finally reach the doors to the dinning room and take a breath to calm myself after running most of the way here. I smooth down my hair and my dress and then open one of the doors. Sebastian is the first person I see and he smiles widely at me and it lights up his face. I can't help but smile widely back at him. When he smiles like that, it is just so contagious. He walks to me and this time I have caught on and I extend my hand which he takes and kisses as he bows. "You, Miss Morgenstern, are getting better at this." I am assuming he means the whole princess thing so I smile and say, "I seem to be detecting a pattern to the madness and I am a fast learner. Oh, and sorry I'm late. I uh...didn't sleep much last night."

Sebastian smiles largely at my response and chuckles. "That is quite alright when you come in looking the way you do; which is beautiful, by the way." He holds out his arm and I take it resting my other arm on top of it as the other one holds it from underneath. He leads me to the table and I notice Jonathan and Sophie talking animatedly with each other and laughing away. I scrunch my brows at them as Sebastian pulls out my chair for me. He of course, takes the seat next to me and looks over to our siblings also. "They seem to be getting along very well." he says to me while looking at them.

I look at them and see their bodies turned towards each other and say, "Yes. Yes they do." Just then the servers come through the doors with breakfast and my stomach growls loudly. I quickly cover my stomach with my arms and look embarrassingly up at Sebastian who is smiling down at me trying not to laugh. I guess I worked up an appetite last night. "It's okay, Clary. Don't you remember? I like a girl with a healthy appetite." He looks over his shoulder then as they set a plate of eggs, bacon (glorious bacon), pancakes dusted with powdered sugar, hash brown casserole, and a choice of orange juice or chocolate milk.

My eyes light up when I see the chocolate milk. "Mmmmm! Chocolate milk." I say as I take a sip.

I hear a deep baritone voice lean in and say, "I thought you might be a fan of chocolate milk the way you devoured your lava cake last night so I asked the kitchen to bring you a glass."

'Dammit' I curse at myself. Why does he have to be so thoughtful. I look up at him very touched and say, "Thank you." He reaches over and takes my hand and kisses it as he says, "Anything for my betrothed."

Ugggghhhh! Why did he have to go and say that?! Even though I'm not, I feel like I am cheating on Jace...even though we haven't had the 'what are we' talk. I am sure he wouldn't be with anyone else. Right? I mean, he did say he was in love with me but we still haven't set any boundaries and I don't feel like I can tell him what he can or can't do when here I am eating breakfast with the guy I am more or less engaged to.

Someone waves their hand in front of my face. I snap out of my own head and look up to see Jonathan smiling at me as he pulls his hand back. "Sorry Sebastian. She completely retreats into her own little head sometimes."

"Oh my gosh, we you talking to me Sebastian? I am so sorry." I look up to him apologetically. "Please don't take it personally. I do it to everybody."

"She does." Jonathan puts in. "She also does it when she draws or paints."

I smile up at Sebastian and nod my head. He looks down at me and tells me that it was fine. He was just asking for me to pass the syrup. I hand it to him and resign myself to stay focused. We have polite small talk among ourselves throughout breakfast with most of the conversation with being between Sebastian and Jonathan who seem to be on their way to being friends. When the staff is clearing the plates away I feel the familiar pull of Jace walking by down the hall. I know it is him and I look to the wall as I feel the pulling pass down the wall and I smile. I wonder if he smiled back at me. I got the sense that he did.

Sebastian pulls me out of my reverie as he stands and then helps me from my seat while pulling me up with one hand and scooting the chair back simultaneously executing it flawlessly. 'Damn, he is smooth' I think to myself. The four of us walk to the door where Sophie and Sebastian say their goodbyes. "I am sorry we didn't get to speak much at breakfast." Sebastian says to me as Sophie pulls Jonathan not so discreetly away to give us privacy. "That's alright, Sebastian. I don't expect all of your attention all of the time to be on me. In fact, I think it would smother me if you did."

He laughs and looks at me. "You're right. I keep forgetting you're not like other girls who want all of my attention at all times. It can be hard to please girls like that and it does become very tiresome to try to appease them every moment of the day."

"Nope. I am a big girl. I don't need someone to follow me around all of the time and tell me how wonderful I am to feel satisfied with my life."

"And thank Raziel for that." he smiles brightly at me. His eyes trap mine in his dark brown gaze as he says, "Remind me to thank your mother later." I furrow my brows at him and just as I am about to ask him 'what for' he says, "Thank her for helping make you who you are. _So many_ worries have been swept away that I have had for years after last night. I was terrified that you would be this entitled spoiled brat who would stomp around and demand attention and throw a fit if she didn't get her way. _Or_ that you would look like a frog and I would have to pretend to be attracted to you." He still has my eyes trapped in his gaze as he says, "And then, the moment you walked in the library yesterday and I laid eyes on you and I realized you _didn't_ look like a frog, I did a huge celebratory dance in my head that at least one obstacle was overcome. Then there was last night and I got a chance to get to know you just a little and I felt like I was on top of the world that you threw the second worry out of the window, stomped on it and then set it on fire." He steps forward a little and we are so close now. "I just wanted to thank her for that and then thank you for being interesting, and smart, and funny, and sweet, and absolutely _beautiful_." My breathing shallows as he is speaking and I am suddenly very aware of him. His light blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the khakis that he is sporting and just the sheer size of him. He is a massive presence and he makes me feel nervous yet comfortable at the same time.

He bends down slowly as to gauge my reaction and places a soft kiss on my cheek. He stands up straight then and smiles at me. "Please say you will have lunch with me, Clary." he asks lowly to me. Before I realize I am doing it, I am nodding my head and his responding smile is the one that I can't help but return and I smile brightly back at him. He grabs my hand and kisses it and then says, "One o'clock in the kitchen." and turns and walks away with a little pep in his step, leaving me standing there stupefied.

Jonathan comes and stands beside me as Sophie disappears too and I watch as Sebastian looks back one more time then turns a corner. "What in the hell was that about?" Jonathan asks me quietly. I look up to him as he looks questioning at me. "What do you mean, Jonathan?"

"I mean, you look like you actually like the guy and he seems to really like you, yet I caught you and Jace in the office downstairs yesterday." I jerk my face up to glare at him. I want to yell at him and hit him because I am still mad at him but at the same time, I want to hug him and tell him that I miss him. I miss having someone to talk to about this stuff so I just decide to confide in him. He follows me to my room and he moves to sit on the bed and scenes from last night come flooding back and I yell at him to sit in the desk chair. I can't talk to him while he is sitting on the bed that I was de-flowered in last night.

"Okay, little sis. Spill." Jonathan says as he leans forward and places his elbows on his knees.

"First things first." I say looking at him seriously. "I am in love with Jace." Instead of the shocked face I expect he just looks speculative and says, "I thought you might after he told Mom he loved you in the car after she knocked you out. And then I was about ninety percent sure when I caught the two of you together yesterday."

Wait. Hold up. "Jace told Mom he was in love with me in the car while I was knocked out?"

"Yep." He says and pops the 'p' sound. I smile a little at this and then tuck it away in the back of my head for a later time. "Okay, so I am in love with Jace. Like, really in love with him. Then Mom comes along and tells me I am supposed to marry some guy I just met and I completely expect him to be a total ass. Instead, he is charming and sweet and funny and a perfect gentleman and he does thoughtful things for me and..." Oh no. I do like him. "Fuck!" I shout out loud. "I know I don't love Sebastian but I do like the guy, against my will, and I don't want to because I will never love him like I love Jace. I will just end up hurting him."

Jonathan has been listening with laser focus and seems to be taking everything I said into consideration. After a minute of quiet thinking from him he looks up to me. "I know you, Clary, and you don't throw around the 'love' word often. You didn't even say it to Cartwright and ya'll were together for over a year so I know better than to ask you if you are sure you love him. You wouldn't say it if you weren't one hundred percent sure."

"No, I wouldn't." I say in response before he continues. "But as to the whole Sebastian situation, I have absolutely no clue as to what to tell you. That situation is so complicated and so much rides on if you marry Sebastian or not. I honestly wish I had some grand solution for you, but I am just not that smart. You will have to figure that one out yourself. It is your life and you will have to be the one to live it and deal with the consequences." He stands up and walks to the door but before he leaves he says, "Just remember, if you don't marry Sebastian, our people will remain divided and I don't know if Mom will be able to bring the two sides together and we may never be able to return home."

"But why does our race's cooperation with each other depend on who the hell I marry?" I say frustrated.

"I don't know, Clary. That is not a question I have the answer to." and he opens the door and leaves.

I throw myself back onto my bed and scream at the top of my lungs "Fuck my life!" I allow myself to sulk for a while. I can feel Jace's concern at me feeling distressed but he doesn't come. He must be busy.

My mom shows up at ten and just lets herself in my room. "Come on in, Mom!" I shout as she sits on the bed next to me. She rolls her eyes at me.

"Clary, I came to take you to learn about our runes. It is past time for you to learn all of our Marks and their meanings."

I stand up and huff. "Sure. Whatever you say Mom." She purses her lips at me and then leaves the room with me following. I feel like I am on auto-pilot or I am a robot who just goes where someone tells her to and does whatever she is ordered to do. When we step into the hall, I see Luke there in the same impressive fighting gear that Izzy is wearing as she trails silently behind me. I am proud of myself that I haven't looked at her in almost twenty four hours because every time I do, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart.

After a long walk, we end up back in the library where a woman waits. "How are you, your Majesty?" the woman says brightly at her as she curtsies to my mother.

"It has been way too long, Amatis. I would also like to thank you for recommending Luke to Jia for my protection detail. He is fitting in quite well." Mom looks back at Luke who is standing by the door and I see faint signs of her blushing as he smiles back at her. "This is my daughter, Clary." Mom motions to me and Amatis faces me and curtsies and smiles brightly as she says, "It is so nice to meet you, Princess Clarissa."

"Please, call me Clary." I say and shake her hand.

"Shall we get started?" Amatis asks as she moves to sit around one of the desks in the library. We all sit and Amatis pulls out a stele. "Have you ever used a stele?" she says looking at me.

"I have never even held one." I tell her and I see that my mother looks to her sheepishly as if she is embarrassed to have people know that she kept all of this stuff away from me for so long. Amatis graciously continues without missing a beat. "Well, here." She holds out a stele to me. "You can start with this one."

I reach out and as soon as I pick it up out of her outstretched hand, I feel a jolt of power run up my arm and into my chest and then it funnels through my body and then recoils back into my hand as a million black swirling symbols appear in my mind. I look down at the stele and the tip is glowing. Not like I have seen them glow before, but it is _really_ glowing. Amatis and my mother's eyes fly open and they both push back away from me and stand up looking shocked. I vaguely notice Luke and Izzy appear beside me with their hands on their weapons scanning the room for danger when their eyes land on me.

"What?!" I shout at them. My mom just looks at my hand and I follow her gaze and see that there is a faint pulsing light coming from within my hand and the stele is pulsing in time with my hand. I immediately let go of it and drop it to the desk while the million swirling black marks still float around in my head. "Is that supposed to happen?!" I shout looking at Amatis. My hand immediately returned to normal.

She tears her horrified eyes away from my hand and looks me in the eyes. "No. That is most certainly _not_ supposed to happen."

I look up to my mother and she looks back at me as I say, "Mom. What is wrong with me?" in a scared whisper and she pulls me into a hug and I don't push her away.

* * *

 **In The Mortal Instrument series, Clary got her powers from Ithuriel who was a lower angel than Raziel so he had less power. With Clary getting her powers from Raziel in this story, her powers will be substantially greater so please don't yell at me for her being more powerful in my story than she is in the books. Thanks for reading this far and thanks SO much for all of the follows and reviews. As always, ya'll are awesome!**


	10. Chapter 10

Mom is hugging me and I am freaking out. The way everyone was looking at me was horrifying. They were actually scared of me. They thought I was dangerous. I stand up and push Mom away.

"What happened?!" I ask her.

"I don't know honey, but I think I have an idea." Mom says quietly. She looks up to Izzy and Luke and nods her head. From the corner of my vision, I can see them backing away slowly; clearly hesitant to leave me alone with their Queen. "I think this might be the gift Raziel gave you."

"What?" I ask incredulously. "A freaky glowing hand?"

She pushes me into my chair and she sits down in hers and brings her chair in front of me. She leans forward and looks into my eyes. "What happened when you picked up the stele? What did you feel? You looked like something was happening to you."

I break eye contact and swallow hardly. "I don't know. I felt this sort of...power flow through my whole body and all of these black marks started appearing in my mind. Hundreds of them. This...power flowed through me and then snapped back into my hand and that's when ya'll freaked out." I look at Amatis panicked. "What is wrong with me?!" I shout at her. She looks calmly back at me and then at my mother before she says, "I think your mother is right. I think this is the gift Raziel gave you."

I turn my eyes back to my mother. "The angel whose blood you drank when you were pregnant with me?" I ask her. She nods her head. "But what does _that_ mean? My hand was glowing, mom. That's not normal."

"No, it's not. That is why you are special." She says back to me. "We always knew you would be special, we just never knew _how_...until now. It obviously has something to do with runes."

I lean back heavily into the chair. "This is all too much, mom. I don't know how many more surprises I can take. I am at the end of my rope." I am starting to sound panicked. "I just want to go back home! I don't want to do any of this anymore!" I stand up and leave catching a glimpse of Izzy's eyes that are full of pity. I am so tired of people looking at me like that. I push through the doors and end up finding the garden. I fling the glass doors open and walk hastily to the gazebo I saw there last night while I suck in long deep breaths of fresh air in an attempt to calm myself. I sit on the bench that goes around the entire perimeter of the inside of the gazebo and hang my head in between my legs. I just really want a friend right now. I want Jace because he seems to be the only person I can trust and confide in at the moment but he feels far away.

For a good five minutes, I sit there and take long deep ragged breaths as I calm myself. I just sit there and think, in and out, in and out, in and out. I sit back up and lock eyes with Izzy. She is standing just outside of the gazebo and has a fresh tear on her face. "Are you okay, Clary?" she asks me. "No, I am _not_ okay. My whole life has been taken away from me along with all of my friends. In the past four days I have been almost killed, knocked out, found out that everyone I ever knew lied to me everyday of my life, was told that I wasn't human, found out I am a freaking princess of an alien race, was told I was engaged to a stranger, told that an entire race of people expect _me_ to save them, and to top it all off, I am a freak of nature because my hand glows. So no, Izzy, I am most certainly _not_ okay."

Izzy starts to come around to the entrance of the gazebo when I see a tall shadow walk behind me. I turn and see Sebastian approaching, waving Izzy away. I stand up quickly and smooth my hair and dress down. "Sebastian." I say surprised.

"Clary, please don't fret because I am here. You look beautiful...although you seem like you need a hug." I nod my head at him and I am suddenly walking to him and I wrap my arms around his waist while his come down on top of my back. It feels so good to hug someone I don't have such a complicated history with. Someone new who has never wronged me. Someone who makes me feel okay about having all of these emotions because the same thing has happened to him. He understands all of these confusing and complicated things I am feeling.

He leans into me and places one hand on the back of my head and smooths down my hair in a comforting fashion while I stand there practically squeezing him to death in my tight hug. After a minute or so of ragged breaths, trying to keep myself from crying and succeeding, I release the hold I have on him and take a step back. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. I shouldn't have dumped all of my stuff on you like that."

He grabs my hands and pulls me onto the bench and faces me. "Clary, that is what I am here for. I understand what you are going through and I _want_ to be here for you. I want you to trust me enough to confide in me." I feel a tear slip down my face and he brings one of his hands up and wipes it away with his thumb. I quickly turn my face down and away from him because his action reminded me of Jace. "How did you...cope with losing everything?" I whisper to him. "I feel like I have no one because everyone I ever thought was my friend was actually paid to hang around me."

I am looking down at where he has my hands in his in my lap when he says, "I didn't cope very well. I was bitter and angry and I couldn't even look at my supposed best friend anymore without feeling like someone had sucker punched me in the gut. I didn't talk to anyone but Sophie for a solid month." I look up to him then. "And here you are, Clary, being forced to deal with everyone who ever hurt you on a daily basis while conforming to this new world and trying to make everyone happy, while on the inside, a part of you is dying."

His eyes are boring into mine and a small part of me feels like it is knitting itself back together because I found someone who understands. "I was never the same after I found out," he continues. "I had major trust issues and I had to find the new me and rebuild myself out of the shattered pieces of my old self. I finally feel like I am a whole person again but it took me years to get here." He brings his hand up to my face and drags the back of his fingers across my cheek. I watch his eyes as they watch his hand touch my face. "Like I said at dinner last night, I am sure I don't deserve someone who is holding herself together with such grace and strength as you are during such a tumultuous time in your life. You are one hell of an impressive woman."

I drop his intense gaze and look over at some flowers. "I don't feel that impressive. I just feel lost and I am trying to hold onto whatever I have left of who I was because if I let it go, I don't know who I will become and that scares me. Usually, I would lose myself in drawing or painting but we had to leave so abruptly, I didn't get a chance to bring any of my stuff with me. I am trying to find new ways to cope on my own and I am finding it very difficult."

Sebastian squeezes my hands lightly and I look back to him. "You don't have to find ways to cope on your own. I am here for you if you need someone to talk to or just for someone to listen to you. I know we just met and our 'situation' is complicated at best, but I have been where you are before. And if you don't feel like you can talk to me or don't want to, there is always my sister, Sophie. She has been through it too and I know you two would get along wonderfully. I know she would be more than willing to talk with you about all of this." He reaches up and brushes my hair behind one of my ears as he says, "So you see, Clary, you are most certainly not alone."

I drop my head slightly and nod. "I can see that now." I say lowly to him. I am so glad Sebastian is here right now, holding my hands. He is keeping me grounded and keeping me from losing it and running through the halls screaming like a crazy woman. I have told Jace how I feel but he will never fully understand it like someone who has been through it. One of Sebastian's fingers moves to my chin and pulls my face up to his. "I really hate to do this, but I have to go. I was on my way to a meeting with my father when I saw you in here and I just had to stop to say hello and I am really glad I did."

"No, it's okay Sebastian. I should probably be getting back too. I kind of just ran out on my mother earlier so I could flip out without having an audience there that seems to always be around her."

He smiles gently and says, "I know what you mean." and he nods his head to his body guard and then to Izzy who have their backs to us. I let out a small breathy laugh at this and smile at him. He stands up and walks me to the double glass doors and stops. He looks me in my eyes and then bends down slowly and kisses me on the cheek again softly, lingering there a little longer than necessary and then leans back and pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses the backs of my fingers. "Are we still on for lunch?"

"Of course." I say and he smiles brightly at me and then leads me through the doors where we part ways.

As I am walking away, I keep turning around and looking at Sebastian. One time, I catch him doing the same thing and we both smile at each other. I reach the doors to the library and slip in and find my mother in deep conversation with Amatis. She looks up when she sees me. "Clary. I was just about to come looking for you. Are you okay?" She is walking towards me looking worried.

"I'm okay now. I just needed to have my little 'freak out' moment by myself." I say to her. I look up to Amatis and say, "Let's figure this thing out." and I walk over to the desk and take the chair that I was previously in.

"While you were gone, my dear, I gathered up as much rune parchment as possible and a grey book for you to study." Amatis begins as she sets down a stack of paper and a giant book. She opens the book to a specific rune and points to it. "This rune right here should help you to be able to read and understand all of the other runes more quickly. What I want you to do is clear your mind of everything else, like a clean slate. Then when you have done that, I want you to look at this rune and you should feel something click inside of you."

I look up at her confused but nod my head. I take a deep breath and close my eyes and I imagine picking up a cloth and wiping away a painting till there is nothing but a white canvas staring back at me. I open my eyes and look down at the rune and I immediately know what it means. Understanding. I look at it and at first, nothing happens. I try to concetrate and then it happens. I feel this weight being lifted off of me and a sort of click happens in my brain. I flip the page and I see the rune for Speed, then Nightvision, then Agility, then Soundless and so on and so on. I am violently flipping through the pages and I vaguely notice my mother reaching for the book and then I see Amatis reach out and stop her. Within minutes, I have flipped through the entire book and I feel amazing. I look up to Amatis and ask her, "Where's the rest?"

She scrunches her brows at me and says "There are no more. That's all of the runes there are."

"No it's not. I have so many more floating around in my head." I look down at the paper and pick up a pencil and begin to draw. "This one means Fearless," I draw another one, "and this one means Spying," I draw another one, "and this one is for portals,"

"Portals?!" Amatis says in astonishment. I look to my mother who looks like she is in shock and then back to Amatis.

"Yes. Portals." I say looking at her like she is the freak. "You know, to travel from one place to another instantaneously."

My mother steps forward. "Only warlocks can make portals, Clary, and there are only a few of them left in the world."

"Warlocks?" I say surprised. "Like 'people who can do magic' kind of warlocks?"

"Yes, they can do magic." My mom answers.

"Cool." is my only response because magic is awesome. I am not surprised by anything anymore after the past few days. I point to the rune, "But this rune is for portals."

Amatis and my mother exchange and wary glance as I stand up. "Here," I hold my hand out, "give me a stele." My mother's eyes narrow and she begins to shake her head no when Amatis pulls out a stele to hand to me and she looks to my mother. "Mom, it's okay." I say to her. "I am pretty sure I can handle it. After looking through the grey book I feel...I don't know...'better' I guess is the word I am looking for." I take the stele from Amatis and I feel the power shoot up my arm and my hand begins to pulse. I walk over to a wall that is not lined with books.

"Wait!" My mother shouts. "Do you even know how portals work, Clary?" I close my eyes and a sense of knowing comes over me and I open my eyes back up to my mom. "Yes, I do." I say with confidence. "Where should I go? Maybe to the park by the High School?"

My mom's eyes widen immediately and she shouts "No, Clary. This is a bad idea!" Luke steps forward then and says, "I can try it out first. I can just go somewhere here in the Institute."

Amatis steps forward and speaks up. "I think that is the best way to handle this." She looks to me then, "You, your Highness, are too valuable to try it out."

"But I _know_ it will work." I say to her.

"That may be, but I would still like for Luke to try it first." Amatis says looking to her brother. I nod my head as my mother says, "You should go to my room. I can go there and wait for you." Luke looks to her and smiles warmly at her as he nods his head in agreement. "Just give me five minutes to get there." and she disappears through the doors. I wait in silence for a few minutes just standing awkwardly while Luke and Amatis speak lowly to each other. Amatis glances at her watch and looks up to me. "Alright Clary, Luke is ready whenever you are."

I nod my head and walk back over to the empty section of wall as Amatis, Luke, and Izzy all come close to watch. I close my eyes to get a grasp on the rune and place the brightly glowing tip of the stele to the wall. I open my eyes back up and I watch my hand as it lights up. I can feel the intense gaze of everyone's eyes on my back and I begin to draw. The lines that are coming out of the stele are bright and glowing and when I finish drawing it, it glows for a second and then sinks into the wall and a blue swirling begins extending from the rune. Within seconds, a portal is standing in front of me. I turn around and look at the shocked faces of Amatis, Luke and Izzy.

Luke straightens out after a few seconds then takes a step forward and takes a deep breath as I step back. He looks nervously at Amatis and says, "Remember that one time we traveled by portal to that Clave meeting when we were kids?" I reach out and place my hand on his shoulder and tell him, "Just close your eyes and picture where you want to go and then just step in."

He offers me a nervous smile and nods as he closes his eyes and takes one more deep breath and then steps in and disappears. The portal lingers for a few seconds and then closes. I look over to Amatis who looks horribly worried and Izzy is looking intently at me. I shrug past Izzy and go to stand in front of Amatis. "Luke will be fine. I know it worked. I could feel it was a perfect portal rune." I smile at her but my reassurances do nothing to wipe the worried look off of her face. She begins to pace back and forth for a few minutes and on the forth minute, we here feet pounding fast like someone is running and then the doors fly open to reveal Luke and my mother out of breath from running with big goofy smiles on their faces. "It worked!" Luke shouts loudly.

Amatis steps forward and hugs her brother as my mom shuts the doors and then turns and looks at me with astonishment. I just shrug my shoulders.

After that, I spent the rest of the day writing down 'new' runes and explaining what they did. It seems like hours pass when I look up at the clock in the corner of the room and notice it is seven minutes past one. I immediately jump up. "I have to go!" I say abruptly and start walking to the door.

"Clary!" Mom shouts at me. "Where are you going?"

"I was suppossed to meet Sebastian for lunch at one and now I am late!"

My mom grabs my arm and I jerk away. She then looks pointedly at me and says, "I don't think you should tell anyone about what you can do, Clary. At least not until we know everything about it. If the information fell into the wrong hands, it could be catastrophic."

I roll my eyes at her but agree. "Alright, mom. If you say so. I promise I won't tell anyone, now will you let me go. I am late and I don't want him to think I stood him up." She steps in front of me quickly and lowers her voice so only I can hear. "Not even Jace, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." I say and then look pointedly at the doors. She steps out of the way and I take off like a bullet. I find myself smiling as I come around the corner and see Sebastian with his back to me pacing nervously as he runs his hand through his black hair. I watch him for a few seconds as he fidgets with the flowers he has set in the middle of the kitchen island and looks down at the watch he is wearing. I decide to put the poor guy out of his misery and I walk around the corner.

"I am so sorry I am late, Sebastian." He spins around lightning fast and his whole face lights up and I smile brightly back at him.

"That's okay, Clary." I hold out my hand and he kisses it while he gives me a small bow.

"No, it's not okay. I shouldn't have kept you waiting. My mother had me studying runes and the time just sort of got away from us."

He smiles brightly at me. "I am just glad you are here now." He pulls out a bar stool for me at the huge island in the middle of the huge industrial kitchen and I sit down. He claims the one next to me and turns his body slightly towards mine as he motions to our plates. "I made us some paninis that my Aunt showed me how to make one summer in Paris." He lifts one of the slices of bread up and shows me the contents. "Grilled chicken, spinach leaves, provolone cheese, and sun dried tomatoes."

I look up at him in astonishment. "Did you really make these?" He looks shyly back at me, unsure of my response to the very delicious looking paninis. "Um, yes. You don't have to eat it if you don't like it."

I am so touched by him actually putting in the effort of actually making lunch and I get a sudden wave of affection for him. I lean forward and place my hand on his shoulder as I place a kiss on his cheek. When I sit back down and look at him he is actually blushing. I smile brightly at this. "Sebastian, lunch looks amazing." I pick up the sandwich and take a bite as deliciousness assaults my taste buds. "Mmmmm." I moan to him and even though my mouth is full, I say, "Oh my gosh. This is wonderful!"

He smiles at me with a look of relief on his face and says "Really? You're not just saying that?"

I shake my head vigorously at him and swallow my bite of food. "No. I really mean it. This is amazing."

"Well I am glad you like it." He says as he picks up his own panini and takes a bite. He closes his eyes as he savors the taste. "You're right. These are amazing. I am awesome, aren't I?"

He asks playfully and I laugh. "Yes, you are." I say back to him and he laughs and smiles widely at me. That is when I see a flash of golden blonde hair peaking through the door behind Sebastian and I inconspicuously look and see Jace glaring at me. I make sure Sebastian isn't looking and I look questioningly at Jace who just disappears around the corner again. What could he be so mad about? Did he hear me agree that Sebastian was awesome? But would that really make him that mad when we were so clearly joking? "Clary, are you alright?" I look up to Sebastian who looks concerned. "You all of a sudden look upset."

I take a deep breath and shake my head trying to put away my worries for later. "Yeah, I'm fine. Now, where were we?"

He smiles at me and says, "You were telling me how awesome I am."

"Oh, that's right. I was." I say playfully and give him a coy smile. I practically inhale my sandwich and so does he. Instead of getting up and leaving when we are done, we continue to sit there and talk with each other about anything and everything. He is constantly making me laugh with his responses and a couple of very well placed 'that's what she said' jokes (which I love because I am a child) and I actually forget about the world around us and all of my problems. I am in the middle of a huge fit of laughter when I hear someone clear their throat. Sebastian and I both look up and see my mother standing near one of the kitchen doors, a smile plastered on her face with Luke just behind her. Sebastian's smile falls a little and then stands up and bows as he says, "Your Majesty. Have I kept Clary too long?"

"Maybe just a little. We kept waiting for her to return and she never did." She has a smile on her face the whole time she is saying this as to let Sebastian know she isn't mad.

Sebastian and I both look up the the clock over the stove and I am astonished that it says two-thirty. "Oh my gosh, mom. I had no idea it was so late." I stand up hastily and smooth down my dress.

"It's alright Clary. I will just be waiting in the library." She turns and leaves Sebastian and me alone in the kitchen again. I crane my neck up to him and bring my hand up to the back of my neck and make a show of rubbing it. "How tall are you anyway? I feel like I am always looking up at a skyscraper when I look at you."

He laughs loudly and says, "I'm six-foot-four. And I feel like I am always looking down at a leprechaun with all of that red hair."

I narrow my eyes at him playfully and then punch him on the arm. "Ha, ha. You are _soooo_ funny. It's not like I have never heard that one before." I say to him. I turn my head back up to his and our eyes lock as he looks at me like I am this amazing site to see and I feel a small amount of adrenaline start to run through my veins and I am suddenly breathing shallowly. His eyes are watching me intently as he takes one hand and skims it across my face and then it comes to rest at my hairline on the back of my neck. He leans down as I watch him and he places a kiss on my cheek but this time, it is dangerously close to the corner of my mouth. His lips linger there for a few seconds and I swear you could hear a feather drop if you could hear past my ragged and embarrassingly loud breathing.

When he pulls back, I can see that he is struggling to breathe normally as well. He releases his hold on my neck and brushes my hair over my shoulder. "I know we are supposed to have dinner with our own families tonight, but please say you will meet me afterwards for dessert." he says barely above a whisper. His eyes are worried and nervous like he is afraid of my answer. "I am working on a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" I ask quietly and he nods his head. "I would love to, Sebastian. What time?" His returning smile is sexy and it sends chills up my back. "Is nine too late?" I shake my head no and he brings his hand that is holding mine to his lips and kisses it quickly. He steps around me and as he is passing, he leans down and whispers, "I am counting the seconds till then." and he walks away. I can still feel his hot breath on my ear and I bring my hand up to touch it and smile.

That is when I feel the pull and Jace comes in the kitchen. I look up to him confused. "Were you there the whole time?" I ask.

"No, Clary, but I could feel what you were feeling." he says shortly at me. "Do you like him?"

His question takes me by surprise. "What?" I say to him.

"Do you like him, Clary?"

I turn and begin to walk away. "I don't know, Jace. It's really complicated. I _am_ technically engaged to him."

"But you love _me_." he says passionately.

"Yes, I know I do." I turn around and he pulls me into him. He claims my lips and kisses me hard. After a few seconds, I am panting from the electricity flowing through me. "Jace. I have to go." I say lowly as I pull back. He rests his forehead against mine and says, "I know. I love you."

"I love you too, Jace." I say and then turn to leave. I hate this. I hate all of this. Why do I have to have two wonderful men vying for my love. I know that when I am with Jace, I feel whole and complete and like I belong with him. Then with Sebastian, he makes me laugh and he makes me the good kind of nervous and he sends my heart racing...and I like him _a lot_. My whole being wants to be with Jace and to be near him but my heart feels like it is being pulled into two different directions. I have a whole race, my race, depending on me to help them and to uphold the treaty and unite them and if I had never met Jace, I would do it in a heartbeat if it were with Sebastian...but I did meet Jace and now I am screwed with whatever choice I make.

I push into the library without looking and I almost run straight into Simon. "Simon!" I exclaim loudly. "What are you doing here?"

He shifts nervously and steps away. "First things first, Clary, please don't hit me. Cartwright's face was hilariously beet red after his run in with you." That is when everything comes back to me. I was so caught up in my own head again, I forgot about him lying to me all these years. I look at him and I begin to scowl. "I can't make any promises." I say snarling at him. "Especially when it comes to such blatant liars like you and Izzy." I glance over to Izzy who is glaring at me as I talk at Simon. "Are you and Izzy even a real couple or did you just play along for my sake? To make your characters seem more convincing."

I raise my angry eyebrows at him and put my hands on my hip. A quick scan around the room lets me know that it is just my mother and Luke in here with us. "What the hell Clary? Paranoid much?" Simon say in a snarky tone.

"Yes, Simon. I am paranoid because all of my friends were never really my friends, were they? They were just paid or ordered to be around me. Never did any of you become my friend because you liked who I was!"

"Except me!" Simon shouts angrily at me. I am taken back not only by his anger, but also because of what he said. I look at him confused. "Yeah, you didn't expect me to say that, did you? I became your friend because I liked you as a person. I wasn't assigned to you. I had to give up everything to be your friend!"

"What are you talking about Simon?" I ask him meekly.

He stands up straight and takes a few deep breaths before he looks back down at me. "I am human, Clary. When Izzy and Alec figured out that they couldn't get rid of me by trying to scare me away from you behind your back, I had to make a choice. Granted, I had already fallen in love with Izzy at this point, but I had to pledge my loyalty to you and your mother and your race and forsake my own human race when the time came to fight." Izzy walks up to Simon then and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I sacrificed a lot for you and Izzy, so don't you dare insinuate that I don't care about you. That you were ever 'just a job' to me because nothing could be further from the truth."

And now I feel like shit. Never in a million years would I have ever guessed that about Simon. He was human. "You did that? Why would you do that?"

He looks over his shoulder at Izzy and then back at me and says, "Because you two are my world and I was never going to stand by and watch both of you walk out of my life and leave me here on this planet without my heart."

I look up to see his sad eyes and I can feel my lip quivering with the effort to stay mad at him and not cry. I walk forward to him and wrap my hands around his neck and hug him as tight as I can. "You are so stupid, Simon." I say to him, my face buried in his shoulder as I squeeze my eyes shut tight and hold onto him for dear life. He brings his hands around me and hugs me tightly and I can hear my mom sniffling somewhere in the room. I pull back from him and wipe the tear off of my face and then punch him in the arm. He brings his hand up to rub his arm as he says "Ouch!" loudly.

"And that was for lying to me, Simon Lewis. Did you really think you would get off that easily?"

He looks down at me with amusement in his eyes. "Never in a million years." and he laughs. "Why are you so violent?" Simon adds on.

"I am not violent. I just show my feelings in a physical way." I say petulantly at him. The door opens slowly then and Amatis walks through. "Sorry to keep everyone waiting." she says sweetly as she curtsies at me and my mother. I look back to Simon and say "Do you have to do that?" I ask talking about the bowing and curtsy thing.

He rolls his eyes and huffs loudly as he slowly bows to me and says "Your _Highness_." I bust out laughing hysterically and look down to him and say in between fits of laughter, "How...bad did...that kill you to bow to...me just then?" Ha, ha, ha!

He gives me a tight lipped smile and says, "You have no idea." This time I am not the only one to bust out laughing. Izzy loses it and even my mom and Luke snicker a little. It almost feels like old times...but its not. I quickly stop laughing and say, "I probably need to get back to this." and I gesture to the papers stacked on the desk with dozens of runes scrawled across them. He nods and then seems to be debating about something and then just says quietly "Screw it" and he gives me another hug as he whispers in my ear, "I've missed you Clary. Please don't be so hard on Izzy." I hug him back but stiffen when he mentions Izzy and say, "I've missed you too, Simon." and pull back. I watch him for a second as he leaves the room.

I look to my mom and I can tell she wants to hug me too as she steps forward and says "Clary, I have..." I cut her off by putting up my hand and saying, "Nope, not ready." and take my seat at the desk.

* * *

By the time I leave the library, it is almost six and I have raging headache. I want to draw a rune for healing, an iratze on me, but both Amatis and my mom don't want me to try my powers on myself or anyone else for now. My mom gave me my first rune, the angelic power rune on my shoulder blade. She said that thousands of years ago, when they still had to hide from the ones not like them and had to hide everything with glamours, the first rune would be the voyance rune. Now that they are all shadowhunters and there is no reason to hide, the first rune is now the angelic power rune. We get back to my room and I am rubbing my head hard trying to rid myself of my headache. I am about to open the door when Izzy says, "Wait, Clary." I look over to her and she is looking shyly back at me while my face is wiped of any emotion. "Do you want me to draw you an iratze? You look like you have one hell of a headache."

I quickly run through a flury of things I could tell her to do with the stele she is holding in her hand, but instead I just nod my head and hold my arm out to her. I can tell she wants to smile widely at me, but instead she makes her face a blank wall and takes my arm and draws an iratze. She lets go and steps back as I close my eyes and the headache vanishes within seconds. I open my eyes and smile. "That was way better then ibuprofen." Izzy lets a small, almost imperceptible smile, tease her lips.

"Do you want me to tell your mother that you need to rest and to bring your dinner to your room?" Izzy asks, taking me by surprise. I look at her and nod. She nods back and starts to walk off and I hate myself for this because it is killing my pride..."Thank you, Izzy." She stops dead in her tracks and turns and faces me. "For the iratze." I say lowly and through slightly clenched teeth.

She huffs out a laugh and says, "How bad did it kill you to say that just then?" mimicking my words earlier to Simon. The tiny smile that spreads across my mouth is completely involuntary as I mimic Simon's answer to me and say, "You have no idea." She smiles a little to me and then takes off as I turn the door knob to my room.

I open my door and immediately see a giant canvas on an easel and countless paints and colored drawing pencils and dozens of sketch books. I huge smile takes over my face as I run my hands along all of the things that now cover every available surface of my room. As I come up to the giant canvas on the easel, I notice a small little folded handwritten note that says 'Clary' on the front. I reach quickly for it and open it up to read the half sloppy/half neat handwriting and it says,

"My dearest Clary, I know you are struggling to hold onto whatever pieces of you that you can at the moment from when we spoke earlier today. Please allow me to give this piece back to you. I hope that it will ease at least some of your distress from the past few days. -With love and affection, Sebastian. P.S. I can't wait to see you for dessert tonight."

I clutch the piece of paper to my chest as a torrent of tears run out of my eyes and my heart swells with affection for Sebastian. I am now positive that I am the one that doesn't deserve him.

I walk to the wardrobe and open one of the drawers on the inside and grab out a pair of sweat pants and an undershirt and replace the yellow jersey dress with them. I excitedly sit down at the big canvas and grab a bunch of paint and quickly lose myself to the canvas. My hand is flying furiously across the canvas as I use splashes of gold and black and white. Hours pass as someone brings me a tray of food that goes untouched as I am too engrossed in my painting.

I am so engrossed in painting that when the alarm I set for myself before I started painting goes off and startles me, making me land a streak of white where it shouldn't be. I get up and push the snooze button on the alarm clock that says eight-thirty and turn back around to my painting and I stop dead in my tracks. I look up to see what I have painted and a gasp escapes my lips. There are two angels with exquisite white wings, one with blonde hair and the other with black hair, and they are in a fierce fight while in flight and falling to the ground. I look to the middle of the painting and see a single white bird trying to get away from the two fighting angels. 'Wow. You don't have to look too hard to see what this is about' I say to myself and shake my head as I think about my dessert date with Sebastian.

I smile hugely at this as I _can not wait_ to thank him for all of this. He saw me drowning and threw me a flotation device without me knowing to ask for one. I pick up the handwritten note again and read it for the tenth time and read that one line 'Please allow me to give this piece back to you' and smile as the wave of affection for him returns tenfold. I go to the bathroom and quickly wash my new expensive brushes off and try to scrub all of the paint off of me. When I am done, I grab a pair of skinny jeans, some sandals, and a casual shirt that is the same color as my eyes and slip them on. I look in the mirror not wanting to look too dressed up but still look like I gave it some thought...but still look completely casual. I think this outfit says that but just in case it seems too dressy for dessert in the kitchen, I pull my hair up in a messy bun that seems to be the exact right touch.

I glance at the clock and I suddenly feel a stiff pain in my stomach. It feels like I can't breathe and I double over sucking in ragged breaths as the pain radiates throughout my stomach. After a couple of minutes, the pain subsides and I stand up wondering what in the hell that was. I smooth down my shirt as I see that it is seven minutes till nine and I slip out of my door and practically speed walk my way to the kitchen, smiling the whole way.

* * *

 **Clace lovers, don't kill me for this chapter...and probably the next one.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I have a favor to ask of all of my readers. I would like for you to pretend that Sebastian and Jace's names were switched and then I want you to tell me who you would be rooting for. I just don't want you to get too attached to a certain character just because of their name and forget about the plot of this story. _Pretty please_ keep an open mind. **

**As always, thank you SO much for taking time out of you day to read my story. I really and truly appreciate it. Thanks and enjoy!**

* * *

 **-Jocelyn**

"I am just worried about her, Brother Zachariah. What she was explaining to me...it just didn't seem right. It didn't seem...healthy for lack of a better word." I look over to one of the few Silent Brothers left. There are only about thirty of them and they hold all of the ancient books that might have the answer to my question. "I know I have read about what she was describing before, but I can't remember where I read it or anything about it."

 _"I have had every Silent Brother looking and reading to try and find out what you are describing since you contacted us this morning and we have found nothing._ " He says in a voice inside of my head as he steps closer to me. " _I sent a message to the warlock Magnus Bane. He will arrive tomorrow and we will be able to ask him what he knows. He is older than most of our texts. Since we could only bring a fraction of our records when we fled, I am sure he could shine some light on this, him being over seventeen hundred years old. He was one of the last warlocks made before we banished our world of demons."_

I am pacing nervously back and forth in my room. "Something in my soul is telling me that there is something really wrong with what she was telling me. I can feel it in my bones."

" _Do not worry, our Queen, we will figure this out because we have to. She is our only hope._ "

* * *

 **-Clary**

As I am on my way to the kitchen, I turn a corner to one of the main hallways when I see Izzy. Her eyes are wide and she has her serious face on when she waves wildly at me. "Clary...I mean, your Highness! I have to talk to you right now."

"Really, Iz? I think it can wait. I don't want to be late for..."

She snaps at me then and grabs my arm and pulls me into a room. "You are going to listen to me, Clarissa Seraphina Morgenstern, if I have to tie you up myself to keep you here."

I yank my arm out of her grasp and narrow my eyes at her. "What the hell could be _so_ important that..." Izzy cuts me off, "I just saw Jace and Sophie slip into an unused room down near the staff bedrooms."

It suddenly feels like all of the air was sucked out of the room. "What?" I say breathlessly. Izzy pushes me down into a chair and says, "The reason he was assigned to you was because he was assigned to the Verlac's for years and he and Sophie got into a relationship, which was strictly forbidden. He kept sleeping with her and he was eventually removed from the Verlac's detail and reassigned to you. Now, I can't say what they are doing in that room but they were both smiling when they disappeared behind the door. I'm sorry, Clary, but I just had to tell you."

That bastard. How could he? My heart is twisting in my chest and I feel so stupid. Izzy was right all along. He was a player and he just wanted to use me. I feel a tear slip from my angry eyes and I harshly wipe it away. I take a deep breath and try to refocus myself. I have to go meet Sebastian. He always makes me feel better and I don't want to deal with this right now. I was in such a good mood a minute ago...because of what Sebastian did for me. That thought seals the deal for me. I push away all thoughts of Jace and center my mind on my date in the kitchen.

I stand up and take a deep breath as Izzy watches me, unsure of what to do. I have become really good at pushing unwanted feelings down over the past week and that is exactly what I do with Jace. I shove him down into a deep dark corner of my brain to be dealt with later. Sebastian absolutely deserves to have my undivided attention. I close my eyes and think about everything he has done for me and how he has made me feel better and nervous and how I really do like him. I smile slightly as the line from his note plays over and over again in my head 'Please allow me to give this piece back to you'. Those were the most perfect words for him to say. I open my eyes with Sebastian on my mind and say, "I have to go." and leave the room with my body guard following at a comfortable distance.

By the time I reach the kitchen, my heart is racing. What should I do when I see him? Should I hug him to thank him for the surprise in my room? Only that doesn't seem like enough. Maybe kiss him on the cheek and then hug him? Yeah, that seems like the most appropriate thing to do. I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves and make sure Jace is neatly tucked away, and I push through the kitchen doors.

As soon as my eyes land on Sebastian, I get a flurry of butterflies in my stomach even though he looks upset about something. He sees me and immediately smiles brightly and I completely forget about stupid Jace. As I am walking to him, he holds out his hand to take mine to kiss it and begins to bow and I just ignore it and wrap my arms around his neck while he is bent over and I squeeze him tightly. His body tenses in surprise for a fraction of a section and then his arms slowly make their way around my waist as he buries his face in my neck. "There are no words to express how grateful I am for what you did for me. Thank you so much, Sebastian. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." I am still clutching him tightly as he says "I just wanted to make you smile. Make all of this a little easier on you."

I start to pull back and I put both of my hands on either side of his face and look into his eyes and say with ardent fervor, "Thank you, Sebastian...just thank you." I watch as a small amount of blush creeps up into his cheeks and I pull his face to mine and press a lingering kiss to his cheek just at the corner of his mouth as his hands slide up to cover mine on his face. I pull back and look at him and the mood in the room suddenly changes. The air becomes thick, a tense silence forms between us and my pulse quickens as a lump forms in my throat. His eyes are burning into mine and I slowly drop my hands from his face, sliding them out from under his hands and swallow harshly as I look away and clear my throat as I say looking around the kitchen, "What's for dessert?"

I don't look up to his face because I know I will see the sting of rejection on his face that I caused. I scan the counter and see a number of ingredients; most of them being peanut butter and various kinds of chocolate. I look over to him questioningly and he turns around with a stack of computer paper that looks like it has recipes on it. "Remember when you told me about the recipe book at you mother's house with the recipe for your favorite chocolate covered peanut butter bars?" I give him a little smile to him and nod as I see where he is going. "Well I looked for recipes that sounded similar to the one you were describing and I printed out the most promising ones. I was hoping you could help me look through the stack and find the correct recipe so we could make it together."

'Dammit, dammit, dammit!' I think to myself. I hate that he is being so wonderful and making me like him. "Sebastian," I say shyly. "That sounds amazing. You are too thoughtful and I don't deserve it." I am hit with the thought of Jace suddenly and I quickly push the thought of him out of my mind. Sebastian deserves to have my full attention right now.

He walks over to me and sets the stack on the counter in front of me as he stands slightly to the side of me with half of his body closely behind me. He places one hand lightly on the small of my back while the other one is pointing to the stack of papers. "I organized them in order of probability." I reach out and start to flip through them. When I get to the fourth one, I smile widely and turn around to face him. "This is it!" I say excitedly bouncing on the balls of my feet. He didn't back up when I turned around and is now very close to me as he smiles flirtatiously down at me. He plucks the recipe from my hands and turns around to all of the random items on the counter behind us and starts to gather the ingredients. I take this time to touch my hair and make sure its not sticking up out of my bun anywhere and watch him as he turns back around and sets all of the ingredients in front of me. "Shall we?" he asks with a smile. "We shall." I respond and then look at the instructions.

I mostly remember how to make it so I do most of the mixing. Putting it all together while talking with Sebastian is a lot of fun. Conversation flows so easily between us with never an awkward moment and he is always startling a huge laugh out of me.

During one part of putting the ingredients together, you have to slowly add powdered sugar while stirring by hand. Sebastian would pour and I would stir and of course my nose started itching because I kept thinking 'I hope my nose doesn't itch' because my hands were covered with powdered sugar. I reached up and scratched my nose quickly trying not to get any sugar on me, so when I look up to Sebastian, he practically dies laughing. I look at him innocently because I know what he is seeing. I can see the white substance on my nose and I am acting like I don't know it is there.

"What is it Sebastian?" I ask innocently. "Do I have something on my face?"

His laughing quiets slightly as he steps forward with a huge amused smile on his face. He reaches up to his own nose and touches it. "You have some powdered sugar on your nose."

"Do I?" I ask him innocently again. I purposefully do a bad job of trying to wipe it away. I want him to come closer to me so I can exact my revenge on him for laughing at me. "You missed it." he tells me as he steps closer, playing right into my hands. He gets within arms reach and I bring my hand that was holding the handful of powdered sugar I swiped from the bag before I turned around, and I fling it into his face, dusting it white. I absolutely fall out laughing at his surprised look and mock wounded face. I watch as his face turns up into a mischievous smile and he steps forward while his eyes are boring into my face.

I immediately stop laughing but I can't stop smiling as he gets closer and closer to the bag of powdered sugar. "Sebastian." I say drawing out his name. "What are you doing?" I ask playfully.

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "Oh, nothing really." and he springs into action lightening quick. He grabs a handful of powdered sugar as I duck under his arm. He spins around and I run to the other side of the island smiling hugely at him and giggling uncontrollably. He is also laughing loudly as he mirrors every move I make, not giving me any room to make a mistake. I convincingly fake right and when he mirrors my move, I spin left and am able to dive my hand into the powdered sugar. I turn around just in time to see Sebastian quickly closing the distance between us and I throw my hand out once again, letting the powder fly, hitting him half on his face and half on his neck as he throws his handful of sugar at me and it covers the left side of my face as I turn my head at the last second. I am standing directly in front of the bag of sugar trying to block him from getting to it, but he just closes me in against the counter as he reaches both arms around me in an attempt to reach the bag.

Every time he reaches in one direction, I lean that way laughing and smiling and before I know it, his body is pressed up against mine as he tries to reach for it and the mood suddenly changes drastically. I look up to him smiling at having so much fun with him and he looks down at me, pressed so tightly against his chest. I study his face and where his nose looked slightly too big for his face before, it now suits him perfectly. I can see the resolve form in his eyes and this time, he doesn't hesitate. He hastily pulls one hand from behind me and slips it up to my face while the other one goes to the small of my back and he pulls me tightly flush with his body as he bends down and claims my lips.

He completely takes charge and his lips slide against mine. My heart begins to beat erratically and my hands move of their own accord to rest on his muscled chest. His breath and mine begins to come in heavy pants through our noses as I open my mouth and let his tongue slide in. The hand that is on my face slides to the back of my head and his huge hand practically engulfs my head and his hand on my lower back slides up and pushes my chest against his. My hands drag up his chest and come to wrap around his neck as I stand on the tips of my toes. He is kissing me so carefully yet with so much passion and he is surprisingly very good at it and I can't seem to find the will power to stop him. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest and it feels like he is reaching inside of it and claiming a spot for himself.

He drops his grasp on my head and both of his huge hands grab my hips, almost wrapping completely around me, and he breaks our kiss to pick me up effortlessly and set me on the counter. He steps into the space between my legs and wraps his arms back around me as he kisses me again and I can't seem to stop. My hands tangle in his hair and I wrap my legs around his hips and pull him closer to me. I have completely lost myself to him. I don't know what is happening right now and I can't seem to care enough to want to stop it. After what I think is a few minutes of making out, his kisses slow and become gentle and loving. I open my eyes as he pulls away and when his eyes meet mine, I can see the wild passion in them as he looks at me. I on the other hand, have no idea what look I have on my face. I am surprised that I liked it so much and surprised beyond belief that I didn't stop it and that I didn't _want_ to stop it. I briefly think about Jace and then violently push the thought of him away. I don't want to deal with that right now when Sebastian is looking at me like he is. I shock myself by leaning up and placing a small closed mouth kiss to his lips and when I pull back, he has this stupid goofy smile on his lips that makes me smile at him in return.

He leans forward again and rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes as he says, "I have been absolutely _dying_ to do that since I first saw you."

I smile sweetly at him as he picks his head up and looks at me with a look of awe on his face. "Oh, really?" I ask him playfully.

" _Really_ , really." he says back to me in an exhale of breath. I fist my hands in the front of his shirt and smile sexily at him and ask, "And was it a let down?"

He lets out a few scoffs and says, "That was the hottest make out session of my life."

"Well I am glad that I wasn't a _total_ disappointment."

He smiles flirtatiously at me and says, "Who, you? Never in a million years would kissing you be a disappointment." He leans down and kisses me gently again. When he pulls away, he reaches behind me and grabs a hand towel and brings it to my face. He starts to gently wipe the powdered sugar off of the side of my face. While he is doing this, I am watching him and I can see how gentle he can be yet it was such a turn on when he took control and kissed me and then picked me up to put me on the counter. That is when I realize that my legs are still wrapped around his waist and I slowly let them go. I reach up to his hair and run my fingers through it, trying to get all of the sugar out of it. My hand is so tiny against his face. I slowly trail my hand down to his cheek and slowly rub the white substance off of his face with my fingers, intently watching my hand move across his face. I notice him from the corner of my vision look to my face with his eyes and his chest starts to move up and down heavily in slow deep breaths.

I bite my lip in concentration as the artist is me feels the angles of his face. His strong jaw line, his high cheek bones, his dark hair that contrasts with his skin color perfectly, his lips that are slightly too full. He brings his hand up to his face and places it over my hand where it is tracing the plains of his face. My eyes dart back to his as he pulls me out of my thoughts and says lowly, "You are making me feel completely exposed with the way you are looking right through me."

"That is just the artist in me." I say quietly back to him. He takes hold of my hand and moves it off of his face and holds it in between us. "I was studying your face which happens to be very interesting and quite handsome." I give him a sweet and shy smile as he leans very slowly back to me and kisses me so gently, so sweetly, and with such feeling. My heart starts to flutter nervously as he pulls back and kisses me quickly again and then again and then he stands up straight. "If we keep this up, you will never get to have any of your dessert." he whispers to me.

I smile up at him and give him a look of mock horror, "Don't say such things! I _will_ have my chocolate covered peanut butter bars!" He gives a small laugh as he grabs me by my waist as I place my hands on his shoulders and he puts me back onto the floor. As I turn back to stir in the rest of the ingredients, I notice the invisible barrier that was between us before is now gone and he is standing directly behind me with his body grazing mine. His long arms wrap around to the front of me as he dumps the sugar in and I stir. His other hand comes to rest on my flat stomach and I think to myself that he is really good at this whole 'couple' thing. He makes me feel protected without being overbearing with his huge presence. He moves easily with me, never getting in my way.

When we have to put the finished product in the fridge to wait for it to cool and set, he closes me in against the counter with his long arms and starts to kiss me again. I am so proud of myself because I haven't thought about Jace once since that first kiss...until now. My heart twists uncomfortably and I slowly pull away. He doesn't seem to notice my hesitation to kiss him. "I am going to clean up a little. I don't feel right leaving such a big mess." Sebastian says as he steps away from me with a smile.

"Okay." I say grabbing a towel. "I will try to clean up all of the powdered sugar we threw everywhere."

"I will never look at powdered sugar the same way again." he says smiling at me seductively. I turn around and use this time to think. If what Izzy said was true, then Jace would have been with Sebastian's family for a long time and would know him and know about me being engaged to him before he met me. Why didn't Jace tell me he knew him? Why didn't he tell me he had a relationship with Sophie? Did he not think I would find out? And what was he doing with Sophie tonight? He knew I was going to be here with Sebastian because he was listening at the door earlier. Did he take this as an opportunity to sleep with her? Maybe Sebastian would know something.

I look over to him at the sink. He is putting all of the dishes we dirtied away. I wipe up the last of the sugar and walk over to the sink and hop up on the counter next to him. "When I came in here tonight, you looked like you were upset. Was something wrong?" I ask him.

The smile that he had for me completely vanishes as he says, "It doesn't matter."

I place my hand on his arm and wait for him to look at me. When he does, I can see that he has left this happy place and has gone somewhere else. "You can tell me." I say looking deep into his eyes. He looks back down into the sink for a moment and then turns the water off and dries his hands off. He closes his eyes and leans on the counter with both of his hands. "I had just run into someone from my past. Someone who I thought was my friend."

"What happened?" I ask him softly.

He opens his brown eyes and looks at me as if he is afraid I will run. "Please don't think any less of me when I tell you this."

"Tell me what, Sebastian?" I slide my hand down his arm and pick up his hand and hold it in my lap. "Me and this guy got into an argument about my sister and you and I kind of lost my cool."

Oh my gosh, I think to myself. He _has_ to be talking about Jace. "What do you mean by that and why would this guy be talking about me?"

"I kind of sucker punched him in the gut. He was saying that he was going to come for Sophie again and that he was going to do to you what he did to my sister."

"Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. I think I need more of a back story to understand." I say to him as I am _freaking out_ on the inside. Did Jace really say that he was going to 'come for his sister' and then taunt Sebastian with me? That just doesn't sound like my Jace. But then again, I have only known him for a week.

"It all started when I found out who I really was." Sebastian begins. He has come over to stand in between my legs where I am sitting on the counter. He takes my hands in his and lets them rest in my lap as he speaks. "When I found out, I was really angry at everyone. I had just found out that my best friend, William Northman, actually didn't really like me that much. He was glad when I found out because he didn't have to pretend anymore." He drops his gaze to our hands and I can see that it still hurts him to talk about it.

I reach my hand up to his face to try and comfort him. "I'm so sorry." One of his hands comes up to cover mine on his face. He holds it there as he turns his face into my hand and kisses my palm. My heart twists uncomfortably at the action because Jace did that once. Sebastian takes a deep breath and continues. "After a few months, it became too much and I asked for him to be replaced. They sent this guy to replace him and we immediately hit it off. He was charming and handsome and he taught me how to pick up girls. I was hopeless when it came to women before him." He smiles a little without humor at whatever he is remembering. "I was so blinded by what I thought was friendship, that I didn't see him moving in on my sister. They had been carrying on for months before I caught them. I actually walked in on them having sex."

When he says this, it feels like someone sucked all of the breath out of me and I feel something painful trail down my back like a burning scratch. I didn't know that you could feel physical pain from emotional distress. "I didn't know what to think at first." he continues. "They said that they loved each other and wanted to get married." There is that twisting sensation in my heart again. "But something just didn't seem right between them. It was unhealthy the way she would follow him around and he would do the same to her. He would always know where she was and she would always know where he was. Something just wasn't right about it so I told my parents."

 _Shit_. That sounds like me and Jace. I can always find him and he can always find me. "My parents absolutely lost it." he says as he looks back into my eyes. "They had him removed from our detail but that didn't stop him from seeing Sophie. I caught him a few months later in her room in the middle of the night and they were...together. We fought and Sophie was so mad at me. I think she had just now forgiven me. And then, when I was on my way here, I saw him talking to Sophie and I..." he runs his hand through his hair and I can see the frustration plain on his face. "I started yelling and he started saying that he was going to take my sister and...do 'things' to her. But that isn't what made me so mad." He sucks in a slow deep breath as I can see his muscles tensing all over his body. "He then said that he was going to take you away from me just like he did my sister and I punched him in the stomach before he could say anything else. He wasn't expecting it and I knew that James (his body guard) wouldn't let him get anywhere near me. Sophie started yelling at me and I think I might have just pushed back my relationship with her to the bad place it was and all because I lost my temper over what he said about you. I am supposed to be better than that."

"This is where I would usually say, 'We all make mistakes. We are only human.' but I can't anymore." He lets out a humorless huff of breath as he leans forward and rests his forehead on my shoulder. I bring one of my hands to the back of his head and begin to scratch his head lightly in a soothing manor while I try to gather my thoughts.

I am completely stunned. I don't know what to do or much less think. Why would Jace say those things? Did he say them because he was jealous of Sebastian? The only thing I know for sure is that I don't know Jace as well as I thought I did. I feel like such a stupid little girl. On the other hand, why did it feel so right when I was in his arms? Why do I feel like I am whole when I am with him? Maybe that is because I wanted to feel that way towards him. Kind of like the placebo effect. Doctors would give people placebo pills and tell them that it was medicine that would make them well again. When the people took them, even though the pills did nothing for their illness, they had convinced their own brains that the medicine was working and they got better. Maybe I just wanted to fall in love with him so badly that I convinced myself of it. But that still doesn't explain the feeling of electricity that runs through me when he touches me. I am just so confused. But Izzy saw him go into that room after the confrontation with Sebastian and she said they were smiling. What in the hell could they have to smile about after Sebastian punched him in the stomach?

Sebastian lifts his head up and looks me in the eyes. I can see his worry on his face. "What is the matter?" I whisper to him.

"Do you think any less of me?" he asks.

My eyebrows pull together as I shake my head and say, "Of course not. It sounds like this guy was being a real asshole and deserved to get punched." He smiles a little at this and nods his head as he says, "Yeah. He did." He looks up to the clock above the stove and then back at me and smiles brightly. "Times up." he says as lifts me up against him and slowly sets me down on the ground. "They should be ready to eat."

I smile the best I can at this point because I am just so confused by all of this and hurt by Jace. Sebastian walks over to the fridge and pulls out the chocolate covered peanut butter bars and I feel just a little bit better. Whoever said you couldn't eat your feelings away was a damn fool. I grab a knife and begin to cut them into squares as Sebastian pours each of us a glass of milk. I set one on a plate for him and three on a plate for me. When Sebastian sees this, he laughs loudly and it resonates off of the walls.

I look at him innocently and shrug my shoulders. "What? I thought you said you liked my appetite?"

"That's just it. I absolutely love your appetite and the fact that you don't hide it." he says as he picks his piece up to take a bite as I pick up mine. I take a bite and it is like pure heaven. For just a fraction of a second, I am on cloud nine. I look over at Sebastian and he is looking at his piece with his eyes wide. " _GREAT SCOTT_ , these are amazing!"

I look at him in surprise. "Did you just quote Back to the Future?"

"Yeah. Was that weird?" He asks looking at me. I think about all of the times that I have quoted movies in my everyday life (which is pretty often) and smile widely at him. "Nope. Not at all." I say and smile affectionately at him. I eat my three pieces and Sebastian surprisingly eats five. We stick the rest back in the fridge with a note saying 'Property of Princess Clarissa. Eat of this and you shall die a thousand deaths.' We didn't say much as he walked me back to my room; he just held my hand. When we got to my door he looks at me and says "You have seemed distant since I told you about me punching...that guy." I quickly wonder why he hasn't said Jace's name as he continues. "Are you really okay with it? You don't think less of me because of it?"

I bring my hand up to his face and place it on his cheek. "Of course I don't. It's just that your story reminded me of someone...and I am really tired. I didn't get much sleep last night." I think about why I didn't and the twisting sensation in my heart returns.

"Of course, Clary. I am so sorry to not have thought about that. You probably have a lot on your mind right now and trying to sleep in an unfamiliar place can't be easy."

"Yeah, that must be it." I say guiltily to him. He reaches up to my chin and pulls it up to place a kiss on my lips. It is soft and sweet and I pull away clearly before he wants me to as I can see the hint of disappointment in his eyes. I reach back up again and I give him another quick kiss, this one with just a hint of tongue, and pull away. This seems to make him feel better as he smiles brightly down at me. "Goodnight." I whisper to him and turn and enter my bedroom. I don't make it two steps into the room before I collapse in a fit of silent sobs.

I thought that I had found some happiness with Jace in the middle of my life falling apart. He was the one thing I was sure about...and now I am not so sure.

"Clary?" I instantly stop my crying and stand up. That sounded like it came from inside of my room. I look over to my bathroom. It sounded like it came from over there. That is when I see Jace poke his head out of the bathroom. He looks at me and sees me crying and starts to walk towards me. I notice he is holding what looks like a sketch pad in his hand. I take two steps back and hold my hand up to him to tell him to stop. Jace stops his advance to me and looks questioningly at me.

"Just stay there, Jace. I have some questions for you." I say to him.

"Let me hold you while you tell me what is wrong." he says lowly as he starts to walk towards me. I take a few steps back and hold my hand up to him again and yell, "Stop!" He instantly freezes and his eyes dart toward the door. After a few seconds, his eyes look back to me.

"Does the name Sophie ring any bells for you?" I ask him acidly.

His eyebrows furrow for a moment before he answers. "Consul Verlac's daughter?" he says curiously. "Of course I know who she is."

"You know that is not what I meant." I snap back at him. "Why didn't you tell me that you knew Sebastian? That you were assigned to his detail fo _r years_ and that you _knew_ I was engaged to him when you met me and why didn't you tell me that you had or _have_ a relationship with Sophie?"

Whatever he expected me to say, it most certainly wasn't that. He looks at me taken completely by surprise and his eyes drop to the ground. "Because none of it mattered the moment I saw you." Jace says sadly to the floor. "I completely forgot about Sebastian and Sophie and the treaty. You were all I saw and all that I cared about."

"So you lied to me. Just like everyone else." He takes a few step towards me and I back up to the wall and tell him to stay back. "But that still doesn't explain why you were with Sophie tonight and why Izzy saw you two going into a room together."

The look on his face would have been comical if it hadn't been so painful in the moment. His eyes practically bug out of his head and his mouth falls slightly open. "Izzy told you that?" he says incredulously. I wipe a tear off of my cheek that had slipped out of my eye and nod. "Clary. Can't you see?" Jace says stepping towards me. "Izzy is working for your mother. She doesn't want us to be together because of the treaty and now she has enlisted Izzy, your best friend or so you thought, to help break us apart." He is getting closer to where I am pressed up against a wall. "She lied to you, Clary. I did run into the Verlac siblings tonight but all I did was say hello to Sophie and Sebastian attacked me." I start to shake my head vigorously back and forth because that is not what Sebastian told me. "I am sure Izzy saw this as an opportunity to twist the truth. To break us up." Another angry tear escapes my eyes.

He holds up what he is holding in his hands up and smiles sadly at me. "I brought you a sketch book because I know you have been dying to draw." His eyes then scan around the room to everything Sebastian got for me. "But I can't compete with this. I am not rich like him. All I could get you was this sketch book and a few pencils." I look down to his hand where he is holding those things and I feel so confused. He is almost to me now and I don't know what to believe. He sets the sketch book down on the night stand next to me and then looks back up to my eyes.

"Do you believe me?" Jace asks sadly. I am about to say no when he grabs my hand and all of my worries fly out of my head. Those electrical impulses he sends through my body start to radiate from where his fingers touch my hand and it is amazing. The familiar feeling of belonging comes rushing back. All of our passionate kisses and whispered secrets and how could I ever doubt him. In a moment of weakness, I took our love and threw it out of the window at the first test of trust. I look into his beautiful golden eyes and reach my hand up to touch his face. "I believe you." I whisper to him and he crashes his lips to mine.

His kisses are so intoxicating. The tingling that I feel from his lips is like a drug to me. Our hands slide up and down each other's bodies and before I know it, we are on the bed. He breaks away from kissing my mouth and trails kisses down my neck. He pulls my shirt off and leaves me in my spaghetti strap undershirt and then he stands up off of the bed to take his shirt off and when he does, the thought of Sebastian comes back to me in full force. "Wait." I say sternly as he starts to unbutton his pants. His hands stop their movement and he looks confusingly down at me. "Can you just hold me tonight?" I ask him. "I am really tired and sore from last night and I just want to sleep." I lie to him. All I can think about is Sebastian right now.

Although Jace looks thoroughly disappointed, he nods his head and leaves his pants on and climbs onto the bed with me. He pulls the covers down and slides us both under them. As he wraps his arms around me and I cuddle to his bare chest, I feel completely content. "Just stay until I fall asleep." I say to him. He places a kiss on my hair and says, "Okay. I love you."

I snuggle further into him and whisper back to him. "I love you too." and close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

* * *

I wake up the next morning to an empty bed and my mother once again hovering over me. "Wake up, Clary." she whispers to me. I blink hard a few times and rub my eyes with my hands to try and shake off the cobwebs. I open them again and see my mother sitting on the bed with me. She looks around the room and smiles to me. "It is really amazing that Sebastian did this for you." I sit up as the previous night comes back to me. "He was so wonderful to get all of this for you." Mom says smiling down at me.

I look over to the painting of my two angels and feel suddenly embarrassed. "Yeah. I was so surprised and grateful." I say back to my mom. I suddenly look to her and I am tired of all of the lies. "Did you tell Izzy to lie to me about Jace being with Sophie last night?"

Mom looks down at me completely taken by surprise. She furrows her brows _, hard_ , and begins to shake her head. "Of course not, Clary." she says offended. "I would never ask Izzy to lie to you nor do I think she would even if I did ask her to. After you found out the truth, she told me she was never going to lie to you on my behalf again. She said that if I wanted to lie to you, I would have to do it myself because she would never hurt you like that again. You are her best friend."

"No, I'm not. She was assigned to me." I remind her as the sting of her betrayal hits me again.

"That's where you are wrong, Clary." she says seriously. "You are her best friend and it is killing her to see you hurting and knowing that she is the one who did it." I look to Mom and she is looking me straight in the eyes and I can see that she isn't lying. "Sure, at first she was assigned to you. But when you just so happened to turn out to be her best friend, none of that mattered anymore. She would come over on her days off duty just to be with you because you are her best friend. You haven't been a 'just a job' to her for over ten years. I just wish you could see it past all of your anger. I know she and everyone else lied to you about who you were, but that doesn't mean that everything else was a lie too."

"I don't know mom. I just feel _so_ betrayed by everyone."

"And that is all because of me." my mom says surprising me. "I made them lie to you for so long. Izzy begged me to tell you years ago, but I wouldn't listen. I was still too afraid and I guess I wanted to keep you in the little bubble I created around us. It is my fault so if you want to be mad and blame someone, blame me. Not your friends."

I lay back down in bed and look up to the canopy above the bed. I wish I had the little glow in the dark stars that were on my ceiling back home that dad put up for me. "So no, I didn't ask Isabelle to lie about Jace for you. If she said something about Jace, I would bet my life on it that it was true." Her eyes are boring into mine and I can see she means what she said.

"Mom." I say in a whisper to her. "What do I do about Jace and Sebastian? And don't tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what you would do if you were me." I need to hear someone else's opinion about all of this. Anyone's opinion. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about all of this and I am so confused. If Izzy was telling the truth, then that meant Jace had lied to me.

She turns her body to me and reaches out to grab my hands and looks seriously at me. "When you were telling me about the feelings you have for Jace yesterday morning, it scared me. I feel like I have read about what you were describing to me somewhere before when I was a child. I didn't like the way you were talking about how when he touched you, you felt this tingling of electricity. That doesn't sound normal."

I look away from her and scrunch my brows. I guess I was wrong when I thought that that was how it was supposed to be when you were in love with someone. If my parents didn't feel that, and there was no denying that they were crazy in love when I was growing up, then I guess it was something other than just crazy intense love. "And then I see you with Sebastian." she continues. "He makes you smile and the way you look at him...I know you like him. You are always smiling and in a good mood after you spend time with him."

She is right. I do like Sebastian. He does make me happy. Then there is Jace who I am certain I love. At least I _think_ I am certain. Before I can say anything, my mom continues. "Just give me one more day and I think I will have some more concrete answers for you. Jace is going out on a mission to hunt down some Asmodei that have been spotted near our old home so he won't be around until tonight and don't worry..." She must have seen the concerned look in my eyes. "he is our best fighter. He will be fine." I nod my head in understanding.

She stands up off of the bed and tells me that me, her, and Jonathan are having breakfast with the Consul and his wife while Sophie and Sebastian tend to some political business. I nod and slide off of the bed and turn away from her to walk to the bathroom. I hear her gasp and turn around. "Did Jace do that to you?"

I look at her completely dumbfounded. "What?" I ask her. She walks over to me and pushes me to the mirror on the inside of my wardrobe and turns my back to face it. I crane my neck around and there in the middle of my back where I had the scratching pain when I was talking to Sebastian last night, are three scratches down my back that look like they came from someone's fingers. There is dried blood caked to them. I reach my hand around and touch them. "I have no idea how I got these." I say quietly to her. "I felt this pain in my back last night but I just thought it was a physical reaction to something Sebastian was telling me about Jace."

I look to my mom who looks angry yet determined. "I am going to go get ready, Clary. Meet us in the dining room in an hour." She kisses my forehead and then is gone. I look back to the marks on my back and try to remember if Jace scratched me when we were together last night and I come away blank. 'How in the hell did I get these' I think to myself as I go to take a shower.


	12. Chapter 12

I finish doing my minimal makeup and I decide to make my hair wavy today using a technique with the flat iron that Izzy taught me. When I am done, my hair looks amazing. If I was being honest with myself, I would admit that I am taking a little extra time and effort with my appearance because I am eating breakfast with Sebastian's parents...and maybe for Sebastian. Just a little.

I go to the wardrobe and open it and I look for a dress because that is what princesses are supposed to wear. Right? I pull out a casual deep cobalt blue sleeveless wrap dress that cinches at the waist. I slip it over my head where it falls to about 3 inches above my knees and look in the mirror to find that it actually looks like I have a waist and some hips. I smooth down the dress and put on some low wedges and leave my room at the same time Jonathan does. It is so weird to see him in such nice clothes all of the time. Usually he is in a t-shirt and jeans but since we have been here, he is always wearing khakis or some other slacks and a button up shirt. I guess he is trying to look the part of royalty like I am.

"You look nice." I say as I gesture to his gray slacks and white shirt combo with my eyebrows raised. I know he knows that I am commenting on him dressing so nice all of the time. He knows me too well.

"Yeah well, look who turned into a girlie girl overnight." He points to my dress and my wedges and I roll my eyes.

"Well I don't know how princesses are supposed to dress on a daily basis so I am shooting for dressy casual until I am told otherwise. I wouldn't want to 'shame the family' with my holey jeans and vast collection of tank tops."

Just then, Mom steps out of her room wearing a slightly flowy dress that clings to her frame yet doesn't all at the same time. "Well you both look lovely." Mom says as she sees us. "And that color looks wonderful on you." she says to me.

Just then, my stomach growls one of its embarrassingly loud growls and Jonathan says, "I have been saying it for years and I still believe it to be true when I say that you have an alien waiting to pop out of you stomach like that guy from the movie 'Alien'." He points to my stomach. "There is no way that your stomach should make sounds that loud. I may actually be in fear for my life right now."

I reach out and punch him in the arm. "Shut up, Jonathan." I say as he rubs his arm.

"Always so violent." he mutters under his breath as I begin to lead the way. I have gotten to know my way around here or least to the main parts. And that reminds me..."Hey Jonathan. How come you know your way around here so well?"

He glaces back at our mom and then looks back at me. "Well, when you thought I went back to college after Christmas break, I actually came here to live and train."

I just sigh heavily. At this point, someone could tell me the sky was brown and I would believe them because everything I saw or knew to be true was just an illusion to me my whole life. Something as trivial as where Jonathan has been for the past six months doesn't even phase me.

Jonathan looks at me and pulls his brows together as he says, "I expected you to be mad and scream at me for lying about where I have been."

"What is the point in doing that?" I ask him. "If I screamed and yelled everytime I found out that someone lied to me about something, I would never stop screaming and yelling."

I can see from the corner of my eye my mom visibly flinch at this. I don't care that my words hurt her because they are true.

We reach the doors to the dinning room and my mom steps in front of us. She turns her head to the side and says, "When we enter a room as a family, you, Clary, will be on my right just behind my shoulder and Jonathan will be on my left."

"Whatever mom." I mutter as I move to her right shoulder. The two guards that are manning the doors swing them open and my mother begins to walk forward; Jonathan and I close behind. When we enter, I see Michael and Adriana Verlac smiling brightly at us. Mrs. Verlac's eyes dart to me quickly and brighten and then she refocuses her gaze back on my mother. They bow and curtsy and then we take our seats. My mother sits at the head while Jonathan and I flank her and Mrs. Verlac sits next to me and the Consul sits next to Jonathan. They set an assortment of muffins and fruit for the table and we each get our own bowl of oatmeal with toast. I grab a spoon and dig in.

"So, Clary," Mrs. Verlac says to me in her feminine voice. I look up at her and smile. "how are you adjusting? Sebastian told me you had only found out the day before we met."

I take the napkin from my lap and blot my mouth before answering, "I am...adjusting, Mrs. Verlac. I am trying to learn everything as quickly as possible but there is a lot to learn."

She smiles sweetly at me. "You seem to be doing exceptionally well. It took Sebastian a long time before he was alright with the truth. And please, call me Adriana."

I nod my head in understanding. "I probably would have been like Sebastian was if I were still home when I found out. It can be very overwhelming at times."

She looks sadly at me and then places her hand on top of mine in a motherly gesture. "I am so sorry you had to find out the way you did. That could not have been easy. I don't know how you are here and looking so beautiful and poised with as many shocks to the system as you have had." She removes her hand and says, "Sebastian was right. You _are_ exceptionally strong."

I dip my head and blush slightly at knowing Sebastian said something so flattering about me to his mother who is now agreeing with him. "That was very sweet of him to say that." I say without meeting her gaze.

"He talks of nothing else but you since you two met." She says sweetly. My head snaps up to her and I see that she is smiling knowingly about something. "He is quite taken by you, Clary. I hope he is not a disappointment to you."

I shake my head from side to side as I say, "Oh, of course he isn't. He has been so sweet and so thoughtful and kind and understanding." I look away from her eyes and into nothing as I continue. I forget that she is there and I retreat into my own head as the words slip out of me quietly. "He makes me laugh a lot and he is witty and conversation with him is never awkward or boring. He is so interesting. I feel safe when I am with him yet nervous at the same time. Those two feelings are so strange to have intertwined like they are when he is around, but its not a bad feeling. It makes me feel jittery...in a good way. He makes me feel like I am not alone and I feel like I can talk to him about anything..." My heart gives and uneasy thump as I trail off. Saying these things makes them real and makes me feel...uncertain about everything.

I am pulled out of my head by a movement from Adriana. I look over to her and she is smiling very sweetly at me while her eyes are swimming with emotion. She is looking at me with such affection and I suddenly realize that I had said all of that out loud and everyone is looking at me. I turn my head slowly to see one of Jonathan's eyebrows (why couldn't I do that?!) raised questioningly and Michael Verlac looking every bit of a proud father. I suddenly feel very embarrassed and I feel my face warm almost instantly with blush. Thankfully, Jonathan saves me by asking Adriana how she is liking this Institute.

Right before I am about to curl up and die from embarrassment, I feel a fierce burning sensation on my right cheek. I immediately bring my hand up to my face in astonishment at the pain and feel wetness spreading down my cheek. I pull my hand away and see blood. I look up to see Jonathan violently push his chair out and stand up as he screams "Clary! What happened?" That is when I feel another blindingly painful streak on my right arm. I look down and see a fresh gash that is just starting to bleed. My eyes fly open wide and I am hit with a stiff pain in my ribs and I gasp in pain.

Before I know it, Jonathan is literally launching over the table and jumps down to catch me as I stupidly try to stand and begin to fall. My vision is filled with his worried eyes and then my mother appears on my other side looking concerned and horrified. Jonathan looks down at me focused and tells me to breathe. I suck in a ragged breath only to be hit with another blinding pain on the back of my head. A few seconds later, Jonathan is pulling his hand in front of him from where he is cupping my head and it comes away red with blood. "What's happening mom?" I say breathlessly.

Her hands are flying over me nervously as she is trying to find out what is causing this as she says, "I don't know, baby." I can see Adriana appear over my mom's shoulder with a stele in hand. She bends down and puts the stele to my skin and draws a quick iratze on my arm. I begin to feel the pain slowly ebb away and then it feels like I was hit in the head with a bat and everything goes black before I can tell anyone.

* * *

 **-Jocelyn**

I watch as my daughter falls asleep or unconscious...I am not sure. I turn my gaze onto Adriana and scream at her, "What happened?! You were sitting right next to her!" She looks slightly taken aback as she begins to shake her head. "I don't know, you Majesty. I saw the gash on her arm appear out of nowhere."

I look up to Luke who has his weapon drawn and looking murderously around the room for the unseen threat. "Luke, get Brother Zachariah, now!" He gives one stiff nod and then takes off running. I look over to Alec and Isabelle who looks like she is about to cry, and shout, "Clear the hallways! Jonathan pick her up and take her to my room." Alec and Isabelle disappear with weapons in hand as I take one from under my skirt and Michael draws a dagger that was hidden in his pants.

Jonathan scoops her up and then we are moving through the halls. We don't come across one person the whole way back to my room letting me know that Alec and Isabelle had done their job well. One of my guards swings open my door and we slip in. Jonathan carefully lays her down on my bed as I quickly scan her once again for any new injuries and an answer as to why she is unconcious and come away empty handed.

Jonathan looks up to me and says, "Maybe she needs another iratze?" He pulls out his stele and quickly draws another iratze on her arm and we watch as it sinks into her skin. After a few seconds, she begins to flutter her eyelids. I jump onto the bed next to her and grab her hand as I breathe a sigh of utter relief. "Clary?" I say softly to her. She stirs for a second, furrowing her brows together as she unsteadily brings her hand to her head. "My head is killing me." she says weekly. I brush her hair out of her face and say quietly "Clary, what happened?"

She still has her eyes closed. "I don't know. I was just sitting there and then...I don't know." She rubs her head again. "Why is my head killing me?"

I bring the hand that I am holding to my lips as and kiss it as I say in a deadly tone, "I don't know but I _will_ find out. Just close your eyes and rest for a while." I can tell she is still weak when she doesn't argue with me and nods her head. She rolls over onto her side and within seconds, her breathing evens out and she is asleep. I look up to Jonathan and he looks like he is about to murder someone. He looks up to me as he clenches his hands over and over. "What in the hell was that, Mom? She was just sitting there and I watched as this gash just appeared out of nowhere on her arm!" He is whisper yelling as he paces back and forth.

I hear a deep voice coming from the hallway and look to the door. It sounds like someone is arguing and it is escalating. The deep voice is shouting now and I see Jonathan moving towards the door. The arguing is getting louder and Jonathan opens the bedroom door to reveal a very angry and worried Sebastian. His eyes dart up to Jonathan and then into the room at me. I am blocking his view of Clary and all he can see is her legs which he sees and stares with laser focus at them. "Your Majesty." Sebastian says worriedly. "Is she okay?"

"Jonathan, let him in." I say. Jonathan steps aside and Sebastian shoulders past, I am assuming, the guard he was arguing with and make a b-line for Clary; never taking his eyes off of what he could see of her. He walks around to the other side of the bed and falls to his knees as he sees her. "She is sleeping, Sebastian." He looks up to me and lets out a huge breath as the lines of his face smooth out changing from intense worry to relief. He lets his forehead fall to the edge of the bed as he whispers, "Thank the angel." with fervor.

He seems to really care about her. This thought makes me happy because I was worried that he would turn out to be awful. I have been worried for years that she would hate him and he would hate her. I reach out and tap his shoulder. He looks up to me and I take her hand that I am holding and place it in Sebastian's hand. He takes hold of it like it is a life line and places a kiss on it as he closes his eyes. I scoot off of the bed and hug Jonathan. I don't know what I would do if something happened to my babies. He hugs me back for approximately three seconds before he pries my arms from around him as he mutters, "Mom. Not now." and his eyes dart to Sebastian. Ugh. Why do boys not want their mothers to hug them in front of other boys.

"What happened?" Sebastian asks quietly in his deep tenor. "When my mother came and told me, she said she has no idea what was happening. She said that these gashes just started appearing all over her skin and then she passed out?" I can see that the further into to what he is saying, the angrier he gets.

I turn and face him. "We don't know what happened." I whisper back. "She was fine one second talking about you, and then the next, she was holding her face with a fresh gash on it. But let me tell you..." My body tenses and I let the anger flow through me., "I _will_ find out."

The humans have a saying. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' By the time I am done, there will be a new saying. 'Hell hath no fury like an alien Queen scorned'. I will rain down the fire of hell on whomever lays a finger on my children.

* * *

 **-Clary**

I can hear people speaking in whispers and my hand is warm. I crack open my eyes and see Sebastian on the floor beside of me with his head resting on the bed. He has one of my hands held in between both of his and his eyes are closed. I smile a little at the site. He almost looks like he is praying. I slide my other hand down and run my fingers through his midnight hair. His eyes fly open and he jerks his head up to me. His eyes light up to a glowing dark brown as his eyes fall on my face and a smile warms his face. "Clary." he says like a prayer.

"Hey." I whisper and give a weak smile. My head still hurts a little. I see his eyes dart behind me to look at whoever is speaking in hushed whispers and then back down at me. He scoots along the bed a little and one of his hands lets go of mine and he gently caresses my face as he brings his lips to mine in a soft, chaste kiss. "Clary, I was so worried. I have never been so scared..." he whispers when he pulls back looking earnestly into my eyes.

I smile sweetly at him as the hand that was running through his hair comes to rest on the side of his face. "I am fine now aside from a bad headache. It will take a lot more than phantom attackers to get me down." I give him a joking smile and let out a huff of laughter. He gives me a crooked smile back and says, "Duly noted."

I turn my head then to see who is talking behind me. When I roll over, I have to stifle a scream. I scramble back into Sebastian who wraps his arms around me and spins me off of the bed and sets me down onto the ground. "What is it Clary? Did someone hurt you again?" he says panicked. I shake my head no as my mother and brother come flying around the bed to me.

"That...that...what is that?" I say completely freaked out. I peek around Sebastian's big arms to see this guy again. His lips are sown shut and he has huge black marks marring his face into something inhuman. My mother comes around to me with her palms held out. "Clary, that is just Brother Zachariah. He is here to help."

" _I will not harm you Princess Clarissa._ " a voice resonates in my head that is not my own. My eyes fly wide and I bring my hands to my head as my mother continues. "That is how he communicates. He speaks from your mind to his because of his mouth being sown shut."

I look up to Sebastian who still has his arms wrapped around me protectively because of my scared state. I think he is holding me to make me feel safe even though there is no threat anymore. He nods his head and says, "I have met Brother Zachariah a few times before. He is here to help figure out what happened to you." He brings his hand up and brushes my hair out of my face in a loving and comforting gesture. I relax a little and step back to look at Brother Zachariah shyly.

"I am sorry I screamed at you." I apologize. "I have never seen anyone like you before and after past few days I have had, I am a little on edge."

" _Your reaction did not bother me but thank you for the apology._ " Brother Zachariah says in his mind voice. I nod my head and then look to my mother.

"And what have you come up with?" I ask her.

She sighs and pushes her hair behind her ears. "Honestly, not much." She says sounding defeated. "A couple of the other Silent Brothers are looking through old texts and we have our oldest known warlock coming here to help. You met him briefly. Magnus, Alecs boyfriend."

"And why is he coming?"

"He is older," my mother starts to explain, "than a lot of the records that the Silent Brothers were able to bring with them here. He may know something about this after living so long."

I scrunch my brows together. "He only looked about 22 or 23, mom. That is not that old."

She brings her hand up to her brow and rubs as she looks down at the ground. "Clary, please sit. You still need to rest." Sebastian says to me as my mother seems distracted by whatever thought she is having. I nod and move back to the bed and sit on the edge and Sebastian sits down next to me.

"I should have told her sooner." my mother whispers almost incoherently. She seems surprised when I say, "Ya' think? I am probably asking stupid questions and saying stupid things that everyone else here assumes a toddler should know."

Sebastian looks down to me and grabs one of my hands as he says, "Clary, no one here is expecting you to know anything about our world. There is so much to know and you have had such little time to adjust. No one, especially me, thinks that any of your questions are stupid. I was just as clueless as you only a few years ago and I remember feeling like a kid that was supposed to be in kindergarten that was shoved into the second grade and was expected to be able to read and write."

I nod my head and look back to my mother who was watching our whole exchange. "Warlocks are immortal and Magnus is over seventeen hundred years old."

My mouth falls open and my eyes fly wide and I shout, "Seventeen hundred years old!" My mom nods gravely. "Well, damn. I need to find out what kind of moisturizer he uses. He looks fabulous for his age." Both Jonathan and Sebastian let out a loud laugh.

That is when I here a voice say, "I mainly use coconut oil and I mix in some liquid vitamins to give my face a certain...glow." I turn and see Magnus strolling into the room wearing a blue sequined shirt and some black and white striped pants with his hair styled in little tiny spikes. He smiles at me and says, "Thank you for the compliment, biscuit. And that color looks wonderful on you." He points to my dress and winks.

My mother steps forward to Magnus and he bows flamboyantly with a twirling wave of his hand. "Thank you for coming so soon, Magnus."

"Anything for my beloved Queen." he says. "Now, tell me exactly what happened from the start." When he said the last part, his voice had turned serious and very business like.

My mom looks to me and asks, "Do you think you could tell him? It would probably be best if you told him yourself."

"Indeed, it would." Magnus agrees and turn his gaze on me. I had almost forgotten that Brother Zachariah was in here until he stepped forward to look at me.

"Yeah, I can tell him." I say to him. "I honestly don't know what happened. I was just sitting there talking to Mrs. Verlac when I felt this sharp burning sensation on my cheek."

Jonathan cuts in. "She had a huge gash on her face."

"When I touched it and pulled my hand away, there was blood everywhere. And then the same thing happened to my arm. Then when I was standing up, I felt this incredible pain in my ribs; like someone had hit me with a bat. Then Mrs. Verlac gave me an iratze and I started to feel better until I felt this incredible pain in my head like I had been hit and then...I don't remember. I think I lost consciousness then."

Magnus has been listening with laser intensity. "And has anything like this happened to you before?" he asks sounding like a doctor.

I think back and try to remember. "There were scratch marks on my back this morning and I don't remember getting them and ...the breath was knocked out of me when I got this stiff pain in my stomach last night also." Well damn. I guess it has happened before.

Magnus steeples his hands deep in thought. "That doesn't sound very good. It sounds...demonic in nature. Someone may have found a way to hurt her without being there." He looks to mom and Jonathan. "Have either of you noticed any other odd behavior from the princess?"

My mom's eyes dart to Sebastian. "Could you step out for a moment, Sebastian?" I look to my mom and furrow my brows in confusion as Sebastian begins to stand. He pulls my hand up to his mouth and places a kiss on my fingers. "I will be right outside if you need anything." He says to me and then leaves the room.

"Why did you want him to leave?" I ask Mom. She doesn't answer me and just turns and looks to Magnus. "Brother Zachariah told me you were coming here today per my request so we could discuss another incident involving my daughter."

Magnus looks confused now. "You mean, this is not what you had originally called me here for?"

She shakes her head and continues. "Clary has told me about a boy she believes herself to be in love with."

I stand up angry and surprised. "What does _he_ have to do with any of this?" I say loudly. Mom barely glances in my direction. "The reasons why she said she was in love with this particular person were concerning to me."

"What the hell, mom!" I almost shout at her. She shoots me a glare that I have rarely seen and I take my spot back on the bed where I had just stood from. It is the look she would give me when she meant serious business. If I continued on whatever course of action I had been on, then I would be very sorry later.

She looks back to Magnus then to Brother Zachariah. "Clary says that when she is with him, she feels like a whole person. Like he completed her. This is very unlike my Clary who has always stood on her own and never felt anything other than like a whole person."

She is right. I did always feel like a whole person and never needed anyone else to feel complete.

My mom continues. "She also said that when he touches her, all of her worries and concerns just melt away into him. That doesn't sound right. The person you love is supposed to help you through those feelings. Not consume them with a single touch." She looks back to me and then back to Magnus. "She can feel when he is near and they are always able to locate each other and he senses when she is upset and comes running." She swallows harshly. "And the most concerning part was that when he touches her, he sends little tiny electrical impulses through her body that make her feel amazing. _That_ is what concerns me the most."

I had been looking at my mom this whole time so when I look at Magnus, I was not prepared for the look of horror on his face or what he shouts next. "Search her body, _now_!"

"What?!" I say in disbelief. My mom looks at him confused and he steps to her and whispers in her ear. Whatever he said makes my mother's face twist into something I have never seen before. Somewhere between horror and utter fear. She looks to Jonathan and then to Brother Zachariah as she says, "Both of you, out, now."

"But mom.." Jonathan starts to say but is quickly silenced by another death glare from my mother. They both shuffle out of the room. When the door is shut, my mother and Magnus look to me with worry. "Mom, tell me what is going on." I demand lowly to her.

She steps over to me as a tear slips out of her eyes as she says, "Clary, baby. I need you to take off your clothes."

"Why?" I look over to Magnus pointedly. He stands up and comes to position himself in front of me. "Biscuit, I have seen more naked people in my life than a changing room at Victoria's secret just before Valentine's day."

I look back to my mom who has a tear running down her face. This concerns me because my mother is made of steel who rarely cries. I think about fighting with them and screaming and yelling, but I would lose. I turn around and pull my hair over my shoulder and let my mother unzip my dress. I can hear Magnus say as my mother is pulling the zipper down, "It would be in a place that would not regularly be seen or in a place that is not often thought about to hide something."

I turn back around and look to my mother. "Mom, _please_ tell me what this is about." I plead with her.

She pushes my hair behind my ear and looks me in the eyes. "I will tell you if we find what we are looking for. Otherwise, it will just cause you to panic unnecessarily."

"Well now I _am_ panicking." I mutter a little sarcastically. I can't put my heart into the meaning when I really am trying not to freak out. They think something is on my body; but what?

I let my dress fall to the floor as Magnus says quietly, "We will work from the top down." I can suddenly feel fingers in my hair and it feels like being checked for lice by the school nurse. I can feel my mom's hands near my ear and then they are gone. She gasps loudly and I turn and see her horrified face. "Mom!" I shout. "What is it?"

"Behind her ear." mom whispers when Magnus looks to her. He swiftly scoots over and bends my ear and then he gasps. My hand flies up to my ear to inspect it but I don't feel anything. "Mom, tell _me_!"

She wipes a tear away as I see her face turn hard and then her features harden and turn determined. She places her hands on my shoulders and sets me down on the bed. She reaches back and grabs the blanket at the foot of her bed and wraps it around me. She then squats on the floor in front of me and takes my hands. "Clary. There is so much to learn so I will try to explain it the best I can without it being too confusing." I nod my head. "When the Shadowhunters who left our world inhabited the planet next to ours, they were taken control by a powerful Greater Demon and they were no longer able to bear the Marks of heaven. So the demon gave them some of her own marks. Ones that were demonic in nature. Ones that if they were put on someone else, would allow that person to be controlled by the one who marked them. There are three possession runes as we call them...and one of them is behind you ear."

I abruptly stand up and shout " _What_?!" as I shove past my mother, grabbing my ear, and run to her bathroom to look in the mirror. I pull on my ear trying to turn in a direction to where I can see it. Mom comes from behind me and hands me a mirror that she had grabbed from somewhere. I hold it up with one hand and hold my ear down with the other one and there, taking up the back of my ear and a small part of the skin right where my hairline is, is a tiny mass of red swirling lines.

I drop the mirror and it shatters in the sink. "Mom." I say with fear in my voice. "What does this mean? _Get it off me_!"

She turns me toward her and places her hands on either side of my face and looks into my eyes with utter determination and says, "I _will_ find a way."

"What do you mean, 'you will find a way'. Can't you just, you know, scratch it off?"

Magnus speaks up from the doorway then. "It' s not that simple, my darling. That" he points to my ear, "is a permanent demonic rune. They bind the person physically to the person who marked you. Whatever happens to them will happen to you. If they get hurt then you get hurt. The particular one you have is amplified when the person who marked you comes in skin to skin contact with you. It makes you feel like you belong and that you have nothing to worry about and that is when you are no longer in control of your emotions or actions. Your will becomes your marker's will and you will feel like you want to do what that person wants you to do with all of your being. All of your worries are gone and you feel whole because the person who you are tied to is with you. That is the rune calling to its maker. And I am sorry to say this, but it seems like whoever this boy is you think you love is the one who put it on you. That would explain why you feel electricity flowing through you. That is the rune taking over your body and allows them to more easily influence you or control you. It makes you feel like you love that person. It..."

I hold up my hand to silence him because I can't hear anymore. I close my eyes and try to think back to all of the times Jace touched me. The first time was when he touched my nose at the party. I didn't feel anything then. The second time was the next day when we kissed in the game room. I felt it then. I then flip to the night before last when we...had sex. I had no intention of sleeping with him until his lips touched my skin on my shoulder. I felt this surge of knowing that I would give him my virginity right then and there. And then there was last night. I didn't believe what he was saying about not being with Sophie last night until he touched my hand. That is when I got the overwhelming feeling of believing him. From the moment I entered my room last night, he was trying to get to me to touch him. And then when he stood up to take his pants off and stopped touching me, I immediately thought of Sebastian and how I didn't want to have sex with...

There was also the pain in my stomach before my dessert date with Sebastian. He said he had punched Jace in the stomach just before and I had felt a stiff pain in my stomach that took my breath away. Then there were the scratches on my back that I felt when I was in the kitchen with Sebastian. If Jace was with Sophie like Izzy said, then Sophie could have made the scratches on Jace's back while they were...

"No, no, no, no, no, no." I whisper over and over again as my knees buckle. I hit the floor hard as my mom appears in front of me and wraps her arms around me. Not Jace. It was all a lie. Every touch...every feeling of comfort and belonging I felt when I was with him...it was all a lie. That is when I feel the familiar pull of Jace very close by. "He's here." I whisper to my mother.

She stands up and runs to her door and flings it open as Magnus crouches down next to me. "He is here because he can feel when you are upset. This lets him know when he is losing his effect on you and serves as a sort of alarm system calling him back so he can calm you and make you feel his will. Do you feel the pull to go to him?"

I look up at him and nod weakly. My mom appears and tells me to quickly put my dress back on. I guess I will have to fall to pieces later. I pull it back on and Magnus zips me up just in time for the door to open and about 15 serious looking guards come in.

"I need you to find Jace Herondale." Mom says with authority to the men and few women. "He should be close by. I want him captured _without_ being harmed. I don't want anything more than a superficial scratch on him. Is that clear?"

A chorus of "Yes, your Majesty." sounds off and then they are gone. Jonathan comes rushing in and he wraps me in a tight hug. "Mom told me." he whispers into my ear. I wrap my arms tightly around his waist and let a few tears slip out. "I am so stupid, Jonathan." I say angrily into his chest.

"No you are not, Clary." he says fervently back to me. "That fucking _bastard_ took advantage of you and I am going to make him wish he was never born."

"I thought I loved him...I thought...how could I have been so _stupid_." As soon as that leaves my mouth, I feel a pain in my face like I have been punched and I bring my hand to my face as I say ouch. Then I feel a pain in my shin. I look down to see a red mark forming as my mother draws and iratze on my arm looking murderous.

I let go of Jonathan because I hear a deep voice say my name. I look around Jonathan and see Sebastian looking confused as he shuts the door behind him. "What is going on?" he asks quietly. I look into his eyes and knowing that my feelings for Jace have been coerced and fake and stolen since the beginning... I am no longer confused about who I should chose. I run to Sebastian and leap into his arms. He catches me and buries his face in my hair as my feet lift off of the ground. I don't feel like all of my worries have washed away when he wraps his arms around me. He makes me feel safe and like I am not alone. That he will help me carry my burdens and be there to help me when I need help. He doesn't make me feel like a whole person because I am my own person on my own. The feelings I have for him feel...like healthy feelings. The kinds of feelings you should have.

"I am so sorry." I whisper to him.

"Sorry?" he says with disbelief. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

I pull back and he sets me down and looks into my eyes. "No one told you what was going on?" I ask him and he shakes his head no. That is when a sound of rustling comes from the hall and Luke sticks his head in the door. "We have him, your Majesty." he says looking to my mother.

I shove past everyone and since I am closest to the door, I beat them all out into the hallway to see Jace's wrists bound together with some sort of binding rune with guards holding him from all around. He looks to me questioningly. "Clary! What is going on? Tell them to let me go." he says to me. His eyes are pleading and I feel an urge to do as he says and then I remind myself of what he did and all I can do is stare daggers at him as an angry tear slips out of my eyes.

"You put a demonic possession rune on me you _fucking_ bastard."

"He did _WHAT?!_ " Sebastian's voice booms from behind me.

I watch him as Jace's whole demeanor changes. At first he is shocked. Then his face begins to slip into this snide little smile as he begins to laugh. "Oh, come on Clary." he says playfully. "Don't pretend like you didn't like it. We sure did have a whole _lot_ of fun." He laughs again as he wags his eyebrows up and down. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it and you will even grow to like it. I did with mine."

Before I can say it, my mother asks, "What do you mean?"

He smiles a sinister smile at me and says, "I'll show you my possession rune if you show me yours."

* * *

 **Dun, dun, dun! Evil Jace...or is he? Before you start with the angry reviews, I just want you to know there is a method to my madness. Trust me.**

 **Once again, thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read my story when you could be doing so many other things. I greatly appreciate it.**


	13. Chapter 13

_He smiles a sinister smile at me and says, "I'll show you my possession rune if you show me yours."_

"What?" I breathe out.

"Really, Clary. We all know you enjoyed _every_ minute of it. Or at least I did. That cute little scar on you inner..."

"Shut up!" I shout angrily at him. He closes his eyes and takes a long deep breath through his nose sinisterly and lets it out in a long huff as he opens his eyes and they are wild and crazy looking. "That's right Clary, let the rage flow. It's intoxicating!"

Sebastian gently pulls me behind him and he takes my place in front of him. "You may have sunk your hooks into my sister but I won't let you sink them into Clary." He reaches his arm back and balls his fist and just before he snaps it forward, my mother steps in front of him.

"Remember Sebastian," she says to him, "whatever physical harm comes to him, happens to Clary also."

I peak around to get a look at the side of Sebastian's face and I can see the muscles in his jaw flexing and his face is a mask of rage. He looks back at Jace and grunts loudly in frustration as he brings down his fist in anger to his side.

Jace laughs wildly and says, "Oh, I already put more than just my hooks in her." Sebastian and Jonathan both step forward with their bodies tensed for a fight and stop themselves.

I step out from behind him and look at the guards and I silently tell them that I am going to approach. They tighten their grip on him. My mother places her hand on my arm and I gently shove it off and continue to walk forward to him. I stand right in front of him. "You know Jace," I say thoughtfully to him, "there is one place where I can hurt you way more than it would hurt me." I move my foot back with blinding speed, recalling all of those nights of Taekwodo, and I kick him hard and swift in his man parts." I instantly feel discomfort in my pelvic bone but nothing like the pain that is radiating across Jace's face. He is practically choking with pain.

I turn around, feeling very satisfied, and march back towards my mother's room. As I pass by Jonathan, he smiles widely and holds his hand up for a high five which I heartily give. Sebastian is half smiling at me and half glaring at Jace as I walk towards him. I reach out and touch his forearm and he releases his glare on Jace and looks down to me. "I think we should talk." I say to him. I feel like I have to tell him about me and Jace. That the whole time I have been here and I guess 'dating him', I have been 'with' Jace. Well, under his influence. I have developed an incredible aversion to lies in the past week and I refuse to keep anything from him now.

Sebastian smiles down at me and allows me to take his hand and pull him along. I can hear my mother telling the gaurds to take him down to the cellar and lock him up to where he can not harm himself. As soon as we are both in the room, I turn around and ask Jonathan to tell mom I need some time alone with him. He nods and then offers me another high five as he says, "That was the most awesome thing I have ever seen you do. It took real balls." He raises one eyebrow at me as he finishes, "get it? Balls?"

I roll my eyes and give him a tiny smile. "Oh my gosh, Jonathan. You are _such_ a child." and I close the door on his stupid smiling face. I turn around to see Sebastian closing the distance between us in long strides. He bends down and encloses me in his arms and I return the hug by wrapping my arms around his neck as I whisper, "I am so sorry I didn't tell you about Jace. I was so confused all of the time."

He lets go of me and places his hands on my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. "Clary, there is nothing to be sorry about. Whatever you did with him, it doesn't matter because it wasn't you doing them. It was him influencing you."

"I know that now but," I reply as I am shaking my head, "that still doesn't excuse me not telling you that I thought I was in love with someone else." My eyes dart back and forth between his deep brown ones. "When I was with you, I would sometimes think about him. I could feel him. He would come around when we were together and I would think of him. And then he came to my room last night after our date," Sebastian visibly stiffens and hurt flashes through his eyes as he shakes his head. I know what he thinks I am going to say. "no, listen. I am trying to tell you something."

He takes a deep breath and then nods for me to continue. "I knew you were talking about Jace when you were telling me about Sophie and this guy that you thought was your friend. And when you told me about how you punched him and before then, Izzy told me that she saw Jace and Sophie sneak into an unused room after your confrontation..." Crap. He didn't know about that.

He looks at me with anger that is not directed towards me and says "Izzy saw Sophie with Jace _after_ I punched him? How could she?"

"Maybe she really is in love with him, but who knows how long he has been under the control of someone else." I offer him.

He steps away and begins to pace angrily. "I warned her about him and she just didn't listen." he says to no one in particular. I move to sit on the bed because I am really tired after the morning I have had. After a few seconds, he glances to me and remembers we were in the middle of a conversation and then sits on the bed next to me quickly. "I'm sorry, Clary. I got distracted. It was rude of me to interrupt you."

I give him a tiny smile as I bring my hand to rest on his cheek. "It's okay, Sebastian. She is your little sister. You are allowed to worry about her."

He leans a little into my hand and whispers, "You are too understanding for my own good." He gives me a crooked and playful smile. "I just might have to eat the rest of those chocolate covered peanut butter bars if you are so willing to forgive me."

I let my hand slide off of his face as I narrow my eyes at him. "There are some things that cannot be forgiven." I say in a grave voice as he lets out a small chuckle.

I take a deep breath before I finish what I was saying and put my serious face back on. I see his smile fade slowly and he returns my steady gaze. "He was in my room last night when I got back. I told him about what Izzy said she saw and what you said. I wouldn't let him come near me because I was so mad. He kept trying to explain it away and I wouldn't have any of it. He asked me if I believed his excuses and I didn't. I was about to say 'no' when he touched me and then it was like a wave of believing him came over me and I allowed him to kiss me."

Sebastian shifts uncomfortably and drops my gaze. I reach out and grab one of his hands and put it in my lap. "He tried to get me to sleep with him again but as soon as he wasn't touching me, I thought about you." His eyes quickly shoot back up to mine and he looks surprised. "I thought about how I didn't _want_ to sleep with him because of you. The thought of you and my...feelings for you saved me from making the same mistake twice. I know I should have kicked him out the moment I saw him, but there was that sensation of rightness that I now know was because of the possession rune and I didn't and I am so sorry for that. I believed you and I should have..."

My words are quickly cut off by his lips. He brings them to mine in a sweet yet unexpected kiss as his free hand that is not in mine cups my face. He pulls back and looks me directly in my eyes, "I just had to get you to stop trying to apologize. It. wasn't. your. fault."

My mouth turns up slightly in one corner as I repeat his earlier words. "You are too understanding for my own good." His returning smile almost blinds me. He claims my lips again and it feels so good to not be torn between two people anymore. I finally feel like I can offer him my whole self. Let go of that piece of me that I had reserved for Jace and let myself feel what I feel for Sebastian without guilt.

I kiss him back and bring my hands to tangle in his dark hair. His kisses are gentle and caressing like he is trying to convey how he feels through his lips. I readily return his gentle and caressing kisses as I pull back and skim my lips along the length of his; barely touching them. Our noses graze as I skim over them in the opposite direction. Our breathing slows and becomes deep breaths as I do this. His hands slide up my back slowly and I lean forward slightly, and kiss him softly. Once. Twice. Three times before pressing my lips hard to his. I open my mouth and his tongue dominates mine and I can feel my heart swelling in my chest at his touch.

I grab his shirt collar with both hands and pull back out of our kiss and pull him onto the bed as I scoot backwards into the middle of it. His eyes never break contact with mine as he crawls up onto the bed with me and oh my God, does he look sexy doing it while he is looking at me that way. I drop my voice low; almost to a whisper as I say sexily, "You know what I need right now?"

He shakes his head slowly as he crawls up my body, forcing me to lay down slowly while still gripping the collar of his shirt. "I _need_ another one of those hot makeout sessions I had with that really hot guy last night." I bite my bottom lip as his face hovers just inches above mine. He looks down at me with this unbelievably sexy look on his face as he says, "I was just starting to warm up last night." and his lips crush against mine. I wrap my legs around his waist and he slides his arms under me and crushes me to his body as our lips devour each other. We roll around on the bed, my dress riding up dangerously high as his hands slide along my legs, for I don't know how long. After a good long while, our kissing and heavy breathing slows as he falls onto the bed next to me.

He pulls back and I slide one of my legs slightly in between the two of his and he caresses my face. He watches his hand as it pushes my hair behind my ear and as he slides it down the length of my arm. I watch him as he does this, not speaking one word in this comfortable silence, and I can see the gentleness in his eyes. I could feel the passion radiating from him when he was kissing me and grabbing me to hold me closer to him. I loved it when he allowed that passion to take control when we were making out. But now, I can see just how gentle he can be too.

I think back to the past couple of days and all of the time I have spent with Sebastian and I wipe clean all of the thoughts I had about Jace like I am wiping a canvas clean. Now that my memories are clean of Jace, I revisit the time I spent with Sebastian. I didn't want to admit it then, but I was immediately attracted to him. I tried to find flaws where there were none to dissuade me from feeling attraction towards him. He rescued me from that awful dinner and made me feel a million times better about everything by just being himself. He really and truly listened to me when I talked or else he wouldn't have picked up how important my art is to me. Or that I loved the recipe from a book back home and take time out of his day to print out dozens of recipes just to make sure he found the right one. I am sure my feelings are being spurred on slightly by knowing I am technically engaged to him, but I know that they are real and honest feelings. Ones that I would have even if I wasn't supposed to marry him. My heart begins to beat faster and I feel this wonderful aching in my chest when I look into his eyes...

"I think I might be falling in love with you, Sebastian." I whisper quietly to him.

His hand stops it's trail down my arm instantly and his eyes focus in on mine. "I think I might be falling in love with you too, Clary." Even though he speaks in a whisper, I can hear the truthfulness of what he says. I slide forward and tuck my head under his chin. His long arms swallow me whole as he wraps them around me and a few minutes later, I am drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I wake up to light tapping on the door to see Sebastian's sleeping face in front of mine. His mouth is slightly agape and he is lightly snoring as his eyes flutter. I smile and let out a little huff of a laugh at his completely unguarded expression as I see the door crack open behind him. My mother slips in as she sees Sebastian's sleeping frame and quietly shuts the door. I slowly extricate myself from his arms and legs and roll off of the bed. She immediately engulfs me in a tight hug. I have to pull away after about half a minute.

"Clary, I am so sorry I let this happen to you." she whispers quietly as her eyes dart to Sebastian then back to me. "I allowed him onto your protection detail. I brought him into our lives."

I cut her off whispering, "Mom, stop. There is no way you could know this would have happened and there is no use worrying about what you should have done differently now that it _has_ happened. What we need to focus on is getting this damn thing off me." I reach up and flick my ear. "You said it wasn't that simple to do."

"It's not. No one has ever successfully completely removed one. The most common way is to destroy the rune somehow. By cutting it in half or cutting the skin it is on off." My eyes widen as she says this. "Don't worry. Cutting off the skin will be a last resort. I wouldn't want you to be the tourtered artist who cuts off her own ear like Van Gogh."

I can't help but let a little laugh slip through my lips. Thankfully, Sebastian's snores don't falter. "I just wanted you to know that I have every available Silent Brother and trusted warlock searching for an answer. As for now, I am holding Jace in the cellar where he is unable to do any more damage. He went on that mission this morning to hunt down and kill the Asmodei that were spotted and he was the only one who returned just after breakfast. He said they were ambushed just down the road and he was the only one to survive." She puts her hands on her hips as she turns her head away and clenches her jaw. "I think he just murdered the team he left with just so he could come back and be near you to try and control you."

I feel a knot form in my throat and stomach as she tells me this. If he killed his own people who trusted him just to stay close to me... I spin around and clench my jaw. "And what about what he said about him having a possession rune?" I ask her.

She nods her head as she whispers, "We found it on the bottom of his foot. No one ever thinks to look on the bottom of a foot when getting a physical or checking for runes because you can always wear socks or shoes or are standing." She shakes her head. "We searched his body before allowing him anywhere near you and failed miserably at that."

I take a deep breath and turn back to my mother. "Like I said, there is no use in worrying about what has already happened. Just focus on what can be done now that it has happened."

"She's incredible, isn't she?" I hear Sebastian say from behind me. I spin around to see his eyes cracking open. He smiles a little smile at me as I turn around to my mother's voice.

"Yes, she is." my mom agrees. "Not focusing on the past and what could have been done differently, but focusing fully on the task at hand and not letting her anger and frustration at the situation cloud her judgement. Yes, she is incredible. She will be an amazing Queen one day."

I can feel Sebastian come to stand with me and he places an arm around my shoulders. My mother smiles brightly at this and I just roll my eyes. She is _so_ loving this right now. Me actually really liking the person I am bound by law to marry according to some treaty...okay. I guess she could smile. I would be the luckiest girl in the world if I did end up falling in love with the person I have an arranged marriage with. There could be worse things in the world than that. Like being possessed...oh wait. That happened to me too.

Mom takes a step forward and motions for Sebastian to bend down because he is so tall and she kisses him on his cheek and says, "Thank you for taking care of Clary this morning."

"It was my pleasure, your Majesty." he says smiling back to her.

"When we are just among ourselves, please call me Jocelyn. I would hate for you to call me 'your Majesty' while playing a board game with the family." He smiles at this and nods his head. "Now," mom says clapping her hands together, "lunch is waiting in the kitchen and then we are going to spend the rest of the day in the library endlessly reading books trying to figure out our next step." I nod my head and begin to walk to where I kicked my shoes off when my mom says as she leans into me to whisper, "You might want to run a brush through your hair. You look like you have been rolling around in bed with a man." and she winks at me.

I almost gag hard enough to bring up my breakfast at her wink. My mother should _not_ know about me rolling around in bed with Sebastian.

I straighten out my dress and smooth down my hair with a brush and then we are walking hand in hand with five guards now surrounding us to the kitchen to have lunch. My hand feels good engulfed in his and I keep looking up to him and smiling. I make a promise with myself that I will put every ounce of effort I have into our 'relationship' for the sake of the treaty and our people. It also doesn't hurt that I like him so much it is a little scary. It's nothing like how it was with Jace. All consuming and losing myself to it. With Sebastian, I still feel like myself and like I would be fine by myself but not wanting to be. I want to have him with me.

We reach the kitchen to find Jonathan already stuffing his face with his favorite bag of chips, staining his fingers an orange-yellow. Michael and Adriana see us and immediately Adriana has wrapped me in a big hug. "I am so glad that you are okay, my darling." she says into my ear. I release Sebastian's hand and awkwardly hug her back. When she lets me go, Michael picks up my hand into both of his and gives it an earnest kiss as he says, "I, too, am glad that you are better. Your mother told us what happened."

I look back to where she is watching us questioningly. "He has a right to know." mom says to me. "He is the Consul and we keep no secrets from each other. How do I expect him to be honest with me if I am not honest with him?" I raise my eyebrows at her and make a little writing motion with my hand and her eyes widen fractionally as she ever so slightly shakes her head 'no'.

Well I guess we aren't being completely honest with him. "I am much better now." I say to reassure them. "I just want to find a solution to the problem and move on."

Jonathan opens his big mouth then. "Does anyone want any of these?" He holds up the bag of chips. "Cause if not, I will finish them off." Oh my gosh, he is such an idiot.

"Well I see that you have lost all sense of formality in the past couple of hours." my mother mutters with humor as she goes to join him on a stool at the island.

He furrows his brows at her. "I just thought since we aren't in the dinning room...do I have to be proper all of the time around everyone?" he whines at my mom like a petulant child.

Michael speaks up then. "Not at all, Jonathan. I think we all could use some time to act like ourselves without the pressure of being proper." He motions for Jonathan to throw him the bag of chips he is holding and he catches them. He dives his hand in the bag and pulls out a handful of it and stuffs it into his mouth as he earns an exasperated 'Michael!' from his wife. I smile brightly at this and take a seat.

We all fall into easy and casual conversation making jokes and laughing. It feels good to 'let my hair down' around everyone. Michael and Adriana are great. Michael is actually a really funny guy who is a really good and expressive story teller and has me smiling most of the time as Adriana looks slightly horrified, yet amused, at some of the things he says. Sebastian seems to really like that I get along so well with his parents. Every time I interact with one of them, he smiles hugely down at me.

We finish lunch and as we are all about to go our separate ways (Sebastian cleared his schedule to stay with me), Sebastian leans into his mother with me on his hand and whispers, "Where is Sophie?"

Adriana visibly tenses and her jaw flexes slightly before she replies. "When I told her about Jace and what he had done, she ran off into her room and now she won't come out." Sebastian purses his lips and gives a stiff nod before straightening up and pulling me along to the library.

Jonathan, my mother, Sebastian, Amatis, myself, and even Izzy and Alec leaves their posts by the door to help looking through books. Hours and hours go by with barely a word spoken with only the sound of pages being flipped. The sun soon sinks and the room is lit with what I now know is something called witchlight. I flip past the last page in the book I am reading and then toss it onto the table in front of me with a loud thud. I huff out a breath as I bring my hands to my head and rub my temples. My head is killing me. My mother looks up from her book at me and then gently closes hers.

"I think we can call it a day." she says quietly into the room. Everyone looks up at her and then gently closes their books and sets them down. She stands up and as she moves to the door with her guards coming alive after the long day of immobility. "I will have the kitchen whip us up something. Dinner in thirty minutes?" she asks. I nod my head and stand up and stretch out my muscles. I look up at Sebastian who is walking towards me and say, "I think I am going to go change. I am dying to put some jeans or shorts on."

He smiles amused at me. "I think I am going to follow your lead and do the same." He bends down and pecks me on the cheek and then he is gone. I move to the door with Izzy close behind me and two other guards leading the way and finally reach my room. I slip in my door and walk mindlessly to the bed where I sit. That is when I allow myself to feel what I have been holding back all day. The despair at knowing that the love I felt wasn't real. That Jace manipulated me into having sex with him after only knowing him a few days. I thought I knew what love was. I don't realize that I am crying loudly until Izzy slips in my door. I want to still be mad at her and scream and yell but when she comes and wraps her arms around me, I hug her back with all of my might.

I don't want to be alone right now. "Izzy, I was so stupid. How could I have slept with him?" I choke out between sniffles.

"Clary, you are not stupid. You had a possession rune put on you. No one blames you for your actions."

I pull back and look at her through my teary eyes. "But, Iz. I slept with him. He stole my virginity. I feel dirty and unclean and like I was raped. As soon as he kissed me that night, he made me feel like I wanted to have sex with him and so I did." I only just now thought about feeling so violated and raped and a round of uncontrollable sobs take over. I cry like that for a good five minutes until the tears finally begin to slow.

Her arms squeeze tighter around me and I can feel my hair getting wet. I look up to her and she looks so angry and I can see a few tears have escaped her eyes. "You know this is my fault, right?" she says. I scrunch my brow together in confusion. "I am supposed to be the one to protect you from these types of things. To protect you from harm and I failed miserably. I encouraged you to flirt with him. I thought it would be good for you with Cartwright at the party. I wasn't paying enough attention to him. I should have seen or noticed something. I was stupid and...and...I am so sorry. I won't blame you if you want to replace me. In fact," she stands up abruptly, "I will turn in my resignation. That way you will get better protection and you will see that you really are my best friend and I would want to be around you even if it wasn't my job."

She starts to walk away and I grab her hand to stop her. "It's okay, Iz. I believe you. I don't want you to quit." She looks back at me hopefully. "I'm not saying everything will go back to the way it was right away, but I would like to work on our relationship. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to completely forgive everyone for what they did, but I can try and move past it."

The smile she gives me is huge and she lunges back to me and wraps me in another tight hug. She lets me go after a few seconds then stands up. "Lets find you something to wear to dinner. Go and wash your face while I pull out a few options." Izzy says to me. I smile a little bit at her being so...her, and I do as I am told. I wash my face a few times with cold water; getting rid of the blotchiness and red eyes. When I come back into my room, I can see about five shirts and two pairs of shorts and three pairs of pants thrown all over my bed. She begins to tell me what her first pick would be and then goes down the list from there. I smile a little on the inside because I have missed this. I go with her first choice of jeans and a tight black shirt with a plunging neck line that could still be considered respectful. I slip them on and I have to admit, I do look good. The shirt just the right amount of cleavage and the jeans hug my curves in all the right places.

As we are walking down to this kitchen, Izzy strikes up a conversation. "I really like Sebastian." she says nonchalantly to me. I turn and look at her. "I like him a lot too." I say back to her.

She smiles knowingly at me. "I know you do. I, of course, have been watching you and I have never seen you like you are with him. I can tell he makes you feel better about everything. He is so sweet and thoughtful too. It also helps that he is pretty hot and as huge as a tree. I know how you like big guys who make you feel safe and protected."

"I do. He does make me feel safe and I like the way that I practically disappear when he wraps his arms around me. It's so...hot." I smile back at her. "Not considering how good looking his is, I really and truly like him, Iz. I like him _a lot_."

She squeals and claps her hands a few times, "I knew it!" she exclaims quietly just as we reach the kitchen. This time I get there before Sebastian and just find Jonathan sitting in front of a bowl of pasta with chicken. He looks up as I enter and Izzy stops at the door just outside of the kitchen like always, and stands next to Alec. "Mom said she was just going to have dinner in her room." He shoves a fork full of food into his mouth. He looks over my shoulder and waves, "Hey man!" he says with a mouthful of food. I turn and see Sebastian giving a small bow to us and I roll my eyes. "Please don't do that all of the time." I say with a smile. "You will give me a complex if you are always bowing to me. I will start to think I am royalty or something." I say playfully to him.

He walks up to me and smiles crookedly at me. "Then what _should_ I do when I see you? Should I do this?" He grabs my hand and kisses it. "Or would this be better?" He smiles wickedly at me and then bends down and kisses me passionately. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him as I bring my hands up to rest on the tops of his arms. His lips slide against mine and after a few seconds, I am panting when he pulls away; my eyes wild. That was fucking _hot_ the way he just shamelessly kissed me that way with such brazenness. The smile that he gives me when he stands back up straight does things to my body that I didn't know he could do to it. My hands get clammy and my heart races fast and I feel desire building inside of me.

"Would you two stop making googly eyes at each other." Jonathan says loudly with obvious disgust. "I am trying to eat here."

Neither one of us spare him a glance as we are trapped by each others eyes. I feel something changing inside of me..."Okay!" Jonathan shouts and I look to him. "I get the picture." He picks up his bowl of pasta and starts to leave as he says, "I am not going to sit here and watch _that_ unfold throughout my dinner."

I leave Sebastian's arms and grab him by the arm. "Okay, okay." I say to him. "We will behave, just don't leave. I would hate for you to miss out on more food...and chocolate covered peanut butter bars."

He stops dead in his tracks and spins around with the bowl of food in his hand. "Did you say what I think you just said?" he asks seriously. I smile widely then make my way to the fridge and pull out what is left of the dessert Sebastian and I made last night. His eyes go wide as he hastily puts his bowl back down on the counter. "I love you so much right now, Clary." he says as he takes the dish from me. I slap his hand and tell him not to eat all of them.

I fix a bowl of food for Sebastian and myself. We laugh and talk and eat all throughout dinner. We eat the rest of the peanut butter bars and are just sitting around hanging out. Sebastian's arms are wrapped loosely around my waist from where he is sitting on the stool beside me with our bodies turned toward Jonathan. I am in the middle of a huge laugh when I feel the bone in my leg snap. I lurch forward and scream, grabbing my leg. Sebastian and Jonathan look down and see that my leg is dangling where it shouldn't dangle and I let out another tortured scream as our guards come flying in. My face then feels like I have been slapped.

Sebastian quickly pulls out his stele and draws an iratze on my leg as I grit my teeth. My leg painfully stitches itself back together and then I am fine. "I think someone is down there with Jace." I choke out. Jonathan and Sebastian stand up and both look at each other and then they are gone like lightning; running somewhere. I stand up to follow and feel a dull aching sensation in my leg. I decide to ignore it and look to Izzy. "Take me to the cellar as I am assuming that is where those two big buffoons just went running to."

"I don't think that is a good idea, Clary." she says to me.

I level my eyes at her and drop my voice to one of authority like my mother. I am not afraid to pull out the princess card to get what I want. "Take me there, _now_."

Izzy purses her lips tightly to show her disapproval and then nods. Soon we are running down halls and stairways and finally reach the cellar to hear shouting coming from a girl's voice.

"You son of a bitch!" the girl's voice yells. I can see that somehow, we have beaten Sebastian and Jonathan here. I look to Izzy and mouth to her 'where are they' and she shrugs her shoulders. The girl's voice continues to yell and I feel the pulling sensation in my chest. "You fucked her, _didn't_ you. You had sex with me and then you went and fucked _her_ , didn't you."

"It wasn't like that!" Jace yells.

"Bullshit! I see how pretty she is and how Sebastian just falls all over her. You betrayed me! You told me you loved me and that we were going to be together and then you _fucking_ fucked her!" I hear a quick slapping sound and then feel the pain in my face. "It's Sophie." I whisper to Izzy as Jonathan and Sebastian finally show up. Both of their eyes fly open as they see me and Izzy there. Before they can stop me, I walk further into the cellar to see Sophie standing in front of Jace who is chained to the wall. His leg is obviously broken and there is a red mark on his face. Sophie's face is red and blotchy from crying and she looks furious when she sees me.

Sebastian pushes past all of us and his guards and wraps his arms around Sophie. He takes the keys to Jace's cell out of her hands and picks her up none too carefully as he shouts, "Dammit Sophie! What did I tell you about him?! Not to mention you are hurting Clary."

She looks venomously at me. " _Good_! I want her to hurt like she has hurt me!"

"She didn't do anything, Sophie." Sebastian says to her. "He put a possession rune on her. It isn't her fault. It's _his_!"

A new round of sobs takes her over as she struggles to get away from Sebastian. _"LIAR_!" she shouts at him. "Jace loves me! He doesn't want _her_!" She jabs a finger at me.

I suddenly feel a huge wave of pity for her. She is just a girl who was in love with someone she thought she knew. Sebastian begins to carry her away and as he passes by me, he says lowly, "I'm sorry about this Clary."

"Don't you apologize to that _whore_!" Sophie shouts. That is when Izzy shocks us all and pulls back her hand and slaps her in the face. Sophie's cries stop as she awkwardly brings her hand to her face past her brother's arms where they are wrapped around her shoulders. "Just stop it, Sophie." Izzy says lowly to her in the silence. "You are making a fool out of yourself."

Sophie is completely taken by surprise and says nothing. Sebastian then begins to walk again, carrying her out of the cellar. Izzy and I begin to follow when I hear Jace say, "Don't take it personally, Clary. She is a really jealous person. Not to mention, I had a grand ole' time fucking your brains out. I do _love_ deflowering virgins."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes to calm myself and think how I have to find a way to rid myself of this damn rune. That is when I see a mass of swirling lines appear behind my lids. I can feel the power coming off of it just in my mind. I feel a burning in my body and I know that this is the solution to my problem as I hear someone whispering words to me from inside my head. I have just been shown the rune for Heavenly Fire by Raziel himself.

I open my eyes and grab Izzy's arm as I say. "I know how to git rid of the possession rune." with a glint in my eyes. I vaguely wonder to myself if I were to put it on my body, would it then burn away the possession rune that is on Jace's foot. I remember the voice saying, "Only if there is more good than evil shall you live." Seeing how Jace is acting, I would say that he wouldn't survive. There is only one way to find out though. "I need to see my mom." I say to Izzy who nods and then we are walking to her room.

* * *

 **I know not a lot happened in this chapter but it was a necessary one. I will try and pump out the next one in the next day, day and a half. Till next time, thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**When I originally had the idea for this story, it was a Clace one. But as the story progressed, I kind of fell in love with the Clebastian angle as well. I would like to know what ya'll think. I know the majority are rooting for Clace, but I feel so bad for the real Sebastian Verlac. His name was dragged through the mud just because Jonathan wanted to use it in TMI. He is always portrayed as the evil villain in all of the fanfics as well. I wanted to give the real Sebastian a chance for a happy ending. So tell me what you think. You can p.m. or write it in a review but I won't let anyone know which way I am going to go. I already have two different endings in mind and I need help to pick which one. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Izzy and I reach my mother's room and I don't even think about knocking and I open her door. I see my mom standing across the room...and she is kissing someone. Izzy and I stop dead in our tracks and just stand there frozen as I see why she wanted to eat her dinner in her room. After a few seconds of just staring open mouthed, Izzy clears her throat earning a started jump from my mother and...

"Luke?!" I say surprised. His eyes fly open in shock and then quickly turn to embarrassment.

He looks over to me and begins to stumble over his words. "Um, I...uh...I'm sorry, you Highness, that you had to walk in..."

My mother cuts in a saves him from becoming a blubbering fool. "Could you excuse us for a moment Luke? It seems that my daughter would like to speak to me." His cheeks flame red as he tucks his chin down and nods as he moves swiftly out of the room; never making eye contact with me. He shuts the door behind him as I watch him and then I turn back to my mother with my brows raised. "What was _that_?" I ask her.

She looks down for a second and then brings her face back up to me. "It kind of just happened yesterday. I don't know what 'it' is yet, so don't ask."

I give her a little smile as to say 'whatever' and then I walk futher into the room. "Mom, I know how to rid myself of the possession rune."

She stands up straight at this news as her eyes open in surprise. "You what? How? Did we miss something in the library?"

Before she is even done talking, I am shaking my head no. "It came to me. A rune. When I cleared my mind and thought about how to get rid of it, but you probably won't like it."

"Why wouldn't I like it, Clary?"

I shift nervously to my other foot. "Because Raziel told me that it was heavenly fire." She sucks in a surprised gasp as I continue. "It will burn out the evil in someone's body and leave only the good left. If there is more evil than good left in that person, it will kill them."

She shakes her head in confusion. "What do you mean Raziel told you?"

"I heard him speak to me when I was trying to figure out how to get rid of this." I point to my ear. "I don't know how or why, but he did."

Mom grabs my hands. "But Clary, there has only _ever_ been two instances of heavenly fire used before and it killed one person and nearly killed the other. Not to mention, the heavenly fire was stuck in the guy it almost killed for months. I knew that heavenly fire could rid you of it, but it's not like we can just ring the door bell to heaven and ask for some so I didn't think to bring it up."

"Well Raziel was the one that brought it up to me." I tell her while I fold my arms. "And I am going to use it on me. I don't want to be under anyone's influence anymore."

My mother brings up her arms hastily and holds them up to me, palms out. "Whoa. Wait a minute. You can't just go around drawing runes of heavenly fire on yourself. We don't even know what would happen _if_ you drew a normal rune on someone, much less a rune as powerful as the one you are talking about."

"Well then what do you suggest we do, Mom?" I ask petulantly. "Just let it stay on me forever? Hold Jace in the basement where he will spend the rest of his life chained up as to not harm himself? Or do you just want to cut my ear off?"

She sighs heavily and then grunts softly in frustration as she spins around and begins to pace. I can see her desire for me to be free of this and the desire to keep me safe at all costs warring with each other. "How do you expect me to live my life with this thing on my ear?" I ask her. "How do you expect me to be 'the savior' of our race if I have a rune of demonic possession on my body? Can you imagine what would happen if the rest of our race found out that the only daughter of their queen, the person who was supposed to grow up and become their ruler, had a demonic rune on her? They would kill me or revolt and then we all would be worse off than we were to begin with."

Mom stops her pacing as I am speaking. I know she agrees with me but the 'mom' in her still doesn't want me to get hurt in any way; and something tells me that the fire will hurt... _a lot_.

"I still don't like the idea, Clary." she says quietly.

"It's not like we have a whole lot of other options." I tell her. "What is the next step, because one way or another, this is going to happen."

She walks over to her bed, her shoulders slumped lightly, and sits down, clearly defeated. "I don't want to lose you, Clary." she whispers. "I...can't lose you. Not after your father and this is a huge risk to take."

I cross the room and sit next to her. "Do you really think Raziel would speak to me and show me a rune that would kill me?"

"No, I don't think he would." Mom answers. "But that doesn't mean that I will automatically not worry. I just couldn't survive if I lost you or Jonathan."

I place my arm around her shoulder because she sounds so broken. I know what my father's death did to her and I don't know what would happen if she lost someone else. "You won't lose either of us, Mom. We are going to be here to drive you insane for decades to come." She lets out a little huff of laughter and then turns and kisses me on my cheek. "I will get everything organized for tomorrow." she says quietly to me. "I want you to be well rested and I want to have the Silent Brothers there and Magnus in case anything goes wrong or if you need their assistance. You will not do this alone and unsupervised. Understand?"

I roll my eyes and nod. "Good girl." she says at my response. "Now, why don't you go to bed and get some rest. It appears I still have a lot to do tonight before I will be able to rest."

" _And_ you also have to tell me what is going on between you and Luke." I say suggestively. She levels her eyes at me and says sternly. "Oh, no I don't. Not tonight."

"Dammit." I mutter as my mom begins to push me out of her door. Izzy is, of course, waiting outside the door. She looks expectantly at me after my mom retreats back into her room and asks me with her eyes 'did she go for the idea?' and I nod. She gives tight smile in response. I begin to move to my door when Izzy stops me.

"Sebastian came by looking for you." she tells me. I look back to her and say, "Oh, yeah? What did he want?"

"I think he wanted to apologize for Sophie. He seemed really worried that you would be mad at him."

I lightly roll my eyes. "Well that is just ridiculous. Why would I be mad at him?"

"Um," Izzy says dramatically. "because his sister called you a whore."

"She did, but then you slapped her. I think we can call it even."

She gives me a smile that is somewhere between a smirk and a worried grimace. "Yeah, I kind of did slap her and that is strictly against the rules. Do you think she is going to tell anyone?" Izzy asks worriedly. "If she knows what is good for her she won't. She was acting like a crazy lady down there."

Iz shakes her head and furrows her brows. "But I am getting off track." she says quickly. "Sebastian wanted me to tell you that if you wanted to talk about all of it, he would be waiting in the garden for you."

"He is?" I ask. She nods her head as I consider this. "He must really be worried that I am mad at him to just wait in the garden to see if I will come or not." I look up to Izzy. "Should I go?" I ask her.

"Well duh!" she says rolling her eyes. "Of course you should go. If not, the poor bastard will be out there all night waiting for you."

I suddenly feel nervous at the thought of seeing Sebastian alone in the garden. I get butterflies in my stomach and my hands begin to get clammy and I can feel my heart beating faster. "Well," I ask looking to Izzy, "how do I look?" She puts a hand to her chin inquisitively and taps her finger. She steps forward and tugs my shirt down to reveal more cleavage and then smooths down my hair. I look down to my shirt which is pretty low. "Do you think this," I motion to my chest, "is too much?"

Izzy violently shakes her head. "No way. There is just the right amount for a hot date. It would be too much to hang out with his family or anyone else...but a hot date? It's perfect. Especially since you are wearing the push up bra I got you." I look down and see that they do look large and in charge.

I take a deep breath and then we are off. We arrive at the glass doors to the garden and I take another deep breath as I step through them with Izzy following a safe distance behind. The moon is full tonight and it is lighting up the garden beautifully. The witchlight lanterns that are usually on, are hanging dark against the plants. I can still see the colors of all the flowers and the stone path that leads to the gazebo. I turn around a large bush and see Sebastian sitting in the gazebo looking up at the moon. I must have made some sort of noise because he turns suddenly to me and my heart picks up double time. His eyes lock with mine and it feels like my heart drops in my stomach when he smiles at me.

He stands up and walks to me just as I am climbing the steps to the gazebo. He reaches down to me and takes my hands and I am disappointed that he didn't immediately kiss me. "I had to see you again, Clary." Sebastian says as his deep voice resonates between us. "I couldn't leave our day together with the last words you heard being what my sister said. She didn't mean them. She was just really upset. He broke her heart...again."

I hold my hand up to stop him. "It's okay, Sebastian. I am not mad at her. Heavens knows that I have said some pretty messed up things when I was mad. There is no need to apologize. I am sure she will eventually come around."

"But that doesn't make what she said okay. If for no other reason than the fact that you are our princess, she should have some respect for you and not talk to you that way. It's disgraceful."

I shake my head at him. "In that moment, all she saw was the girl who..." I can't say 'cheated with' or 'had sex with' because he manipulated me into it with him..."he moved on to. I wasn't the princess in that moment and that is okay." I make sure he is looking into my eyes when I say, "I promise. I am not mad at her."

He sighs heavily and visibly relaxes when I say this. A small smile forms on his face as he says, "You are just so amazing. I can't think of one girl who wouldn't be mad at being called a whore and here you are, making excuses for her." He huffs out a dramatic breath as he says exasperatedly. "What am I going to do with you?"

I take a step closer to him and grab his tight t-shirt with my hands and pull him against me. I look up to him and smile sexily at him. "I can think of a few things you can do with me." and I bite my bottom lip, willing him to kiss me.

He seems to get the idea and brings one hand up to my face as he bends down and kisses me gently. He pulls back and smiles crookedly at me and I practically swoon at the sight. "Is that what you had in mind?" he whispers to me sexily. "Because if not, then you are going to have to change into a different shirt because I won't be able to keep my eyes, or hands for that matter, off of you."

As he is saying this, he is backing me up against the wall of the gazebo while my hands are still fisted in his shirt. The hand that was on my face trails down my neck and starts to skim down my spine. I can see his eyes dart to my chest and he lets out a ragged breath as he looks back up to my eyes. He has me completely pressed up against the wall now and we are just standing there staring at each other as the sexual tension builds...and then it explodes.

I reach up on my toes as he bends down and grabs me by the ass and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and am barely able to lock my ankles together because of the size of him. His lips and mine are pressed together harshly, moving aggressively against each other. One of his hands cups my ass to hold me up as the other slides up my back and then comes to the back of my neck and pushes my face into his. We don't even come up for breath; sucking harsh breaths in through our noses. My hands fist in his hair, gripping it tightly, and I can't even think straight.

His lips finally leave my mouth and his mouth starts to trail kisses down my neck, as he stops in just the right places to linger a kiss there a little longer. I squeeze my legs together to push myself up a little on him and then his mouth is on the tops of my breasts where they are exposed in my shirt. He places a few kisses there as one of his hands comes to cup one over the shirt and I let out a little noise somewhere between a sigh and a moan. The noise I make seems to please him and he grunts and squeezes my ass as he continues his ministrations on the part of my exposed chest. I close my eyes and let my head fall back as he brings his lips back up my neck and begins to kiss me again.

He pulls me off of the wall and walks over to the bench and sits down on top of it, pulling me into his lap. I sit there gladly, straddling him, and then I am the one kissing down his neck. That is when I feel 'him' jump and instead of backing away, I acually scoot closer into his lap, pressing myself up against him. His hands slide under my shirt and on top of my bra as his tongue harshly explores my mouth and then I hear Izzy.

"Sssppppst! You two! Stop molesting each other. Someone is coming."

I pull back and look wildly into his eyes as my chest heaves up and down in harsh breaths. His breathing is harsh and heavy also as he slides his hand out of my shirt and I slip off of his lap. I stand up and pull my shirt down as he tries to adjust 'himself'. We are both standing awkwardly, still trying to fix our clothes and our crazy hair, as Sebastian's parents come around the large bush. They see us instantly. Apparently, we aren't fooling anyone. Whether it be the heavy sexual tension in the air or our heavy and erratic breathing or the way we are awkwardly standing or even our disheveled looks; his mother and father instantly stop their advance.

"Mom, Dad. What are you two doing out so late?" Sebastian says still a little too out of breath and a little too innocently.

His mother and father look between the two of us and they both begin to smirk a little. "Nothing. We aren't doing anything out here at all." his mother says as they slowly begin to back up. Sebastian's dad looks to him and gives him a 'at a boy' smile and then winks as they turn and leave, disappearing behind the bush.

I close my eyes and turn into Sebastian's chest and let my head fall onto it. "Oh..my..gosh. That was so unbelievably embarrassing." I mutter into him. "Your parents caught us making out and we couldn't even play it off."

His arms come to wrap around me as I can feel his chest heaving up and down in laughter. "I don't think they minded." he says between breathy laughs.

"I know. And that is what makes it so embarrassing. I bet they would have stayed and cheered us on if we would have let them. My mom would even pop some popcorn for them to eat while they cheered." His laughing becomes audible when I say this. I look up to him and he looks back down to me.

"My mother would be on top of the pyramid that our parents would make with a camera if I would let her." Sebastian says laughing. I groan and let my head fall back onto his chest. That was just so embarrassing. If they had come around the corner a few seconds earlier, they would have seen their son's hand up my shirt.

One of his hands lets go of my back and comes up to my chin. He pulls my face up to his and brings his full lips down to mine. He kisses me gently and sweetly and my hands slide slowly up and around his neck. This kissing is nothing like the kissing before. This kissing is careful and sweet. He takes his time pressing his lips to mine in just the right way and my heart begins to thump unevenly as the butterflies return to my stomach. We kiss like this for a few minutes until he stands back up after a particularly slow kiss and says, "Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" I lock eyes with him as I bite my lip and nod. He gives me one last kiss and then takes my hand and begins to lead me back into the Institute.

We pass Izzy and she looks at me and gives me a knowing smile as I mouth 'thanks for the heads up' and she falls into step behind us. The whole walk back to the room, we keep glancing to each other. I can feel something has shifted between us, but I don't know what. We reach my room and I turn to face him. I briefly think about inviting him in but I know where that will lead after our escapade in the garden.

I look up into his deep brown eyes and he leans down and kisses me with such tenderness and I am suddenly light headed from it. He pulls away and I can see all of the feelings that are swimming around inside of him right now in his eyes and I feel my heart thump unevenly again. "Goodnight, Clary." he says lowly to me and then kisses me one more time before turning and walking away. I stand there and watch him leave and just as he is about to turn the corner, he looks back to me and smiles a crooked smile at me and then he is gone. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and I close my eyes. I can still feel his lips on mine.

"You have got it _so_ bad for him." Izzy says quietly with excitement. I think about arguing with her, but what would be the point? "Yeah." I say emphatically. "I have it _real_ bad for him." and then I push into my room.

* * *

I didn't get much sleep. Between thinking about using the heavenly fire on myself today and Sebastian, sleep was about five hours. I get up and shower and put on a pair of jeans today and a semi-dressy ivory shirt. I fix my hair in waves like I did the day before and let it fall down my back. I hear a knocking at my door and I open it to see my mother standing there with a bowl of fruit.

"I thought a light breakfast would be best for what we are going to do today." she says offering me the bowl.

"Thanks mom." I say as I take the bowl and let her in my room. I walk over to the desk and stack some of the painting materials so I can have a spot to eat and Mom takes the stuffed chair not to far away. I look up to the painting I did of the two angels and I absolutely hate it. "Hey, mom." She looks over to me. "Do you think you can have someone come and tear this thing," I motion to the painting, "to pieces and then burn it?"

She looks sadly up to the painting. "I thought you would never ask." I give her a small chuckle and then we fall into a loaded silence. I can tell she is thinking about what is going to happen today and she is nervous. My mom is always really quiet when she is nervous. I finish the last bite of cantaloupe I had and then look over to her where she is watching me intently.

"I don't think Raziel would give me this gift if he didn't want me to use it Mom." I say in a comforting tone to her.

She leans forward and then looks down to her feet. "I know, Clary. I am just not looking forward to seeing you in pain, and believe me, it will be painful."

I blanch a little at her words. "I know it will and I am trying no to think about it. I am not a masochist." I take a deep breath and give one last look at my painting. I want to put my fist through it but instead, I just flip it off (I know. Real mature.) and then look expectantly to my mom and ask, "Are you ready to do this, or what?"

She replies with a breathy laugh, "As ready as I will ever be to watch my only daughter put heavenly fire into her body." We leave my room and Izzy and Luke fall into step behind us as I think of a question to ask my mother. "What kind of possession rune is on Jace's foot? You said there were three kinds."

She looks over to me, clearly surprised and then answers. "His is different than yours. It's more powerful. His allows him to feel mostly like his own person except his will is completely consumed by the person who marked him. If that person were to tell him to go and kill a hundred people, he would do it without blinking an eye and feel like it was the right thing to do whether it was something his own self would do or not. Most people eventually grow to like it because they don't have to make hard decisions and everything is decided for them. Now, since there is only one person to ever survive it before, his account has been greatly studied. He said he felt at peace and like what he was doing, no matter what it was, was right. When he was freed from the rune, he was very upset at the things he had done on behalf of the person who marked him. It made him feel like he and his marker were best friends and he only wanted to please him. He still loved his family and girlfriend with all his being, but if his marker were to tell him to kill them, he would have done it without hesitation."

"And that is the kind of possession rune Jace has?" I ask her. She gravely nods her head. "That sounds horrible. So he is mostly himself but if his marker were to tell him to do something, he wouldn't hesitate to do it, no matter what he thought?" She nods her head again. I can't imagine how confusing that must be for him. I, unwillingly, feel a sudden wave of pity for him. I look back to my mother and ask "If he survives the heavenly fire, what will you do with him?"

My mother slows quickly then comes to a complete stop to turn and look at me. "I don't know, Clary. He was always a good and loyal subject but I don't know how long he has had that rune. I don't know if he had that rune while we thought he was a loyal subject. Maybe that was part of his act so he could gain access to you." She begins to walk again. "I think the best course of action will be to have him testify while holding the mortal sword _if_ he survives."

If he was mostly able to be himself, I wonder if he really did like me...'Stop it Clary' I tell myself. I can't go down that road. I can't justify his actions. I look up and notice that we have come to the library. We walk in and my eyes instantly land on Sebastian. I can't help but smile and he returns it with a smile of his own. I watch as the whole room either bows or curtsies to us. I can see five of those creepy Silent Brothers, Magnus Bane, Jonathan, Amatis, Sebastian, Alec, and the head of the Institute, Andrew Blackthorn is walking out of the door. In the middle of the room, there is a sort of makeshift hospital type bed that I am assuming is for me.

" _Are you ready, Princess Clarissa?_ " a voice asks from inside of my head. From the looks on everyone's faces, I can tell that they heard it to. I glance nervously to Sebastian and then to the bed and nod my head. I walk over to the table and stand next to it. Sebastian comes around and takes my hand and gives it an ardent kiss. I know it is inappropriate for royals to have public declarations of affection so I forgive him when he doesn't kiss me like I know he wants to. My mother then steps in front of me and places her hands on my shoulders.

"Are you absolutely sure about this, Clary?" Mom asks while looking deep into my eyes. I give her a stiff nod and then she gives me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek and then lets me go as a Silent Brother steps forward that I recognize as Brother Zachariah. He motions to the table as his voice resonates in my head. _"Lie down, princess and then make sure everyone is a safe distance away before you draw the rune._ "

"A safe distance?" I ask incredulously.

" _Yes. There is a chance that if someone is too close, it will consume them with the heavenly fire too._ "

'Great' I think sarcastically to myself. I move to the table and sit and then lay back until my head is touching the table. Amatis walks up and holds out a stele to me as she says, "After this, everyone in this room will know about your gift. Are you ready for that?" I nod my head and then reach for the stele.

As soon as I pick it up, I feel the jolt of power run through my body and my hand begins to pulse and glow slightly. I look nervously to Sebastian, suddenly afraid of what he will think of my freaky hand. His eyes go wide and then he sees me looking at him worriedly and he give me an encouraging smile. I give him a shy smile back, praying that he won't run away screaming, and I look back to my hand.

I raise my arm up to my hand and place the tip of the brightly glowing stele to it. The way it burns is unlike the way my mother's stele burned. The burning is deep and resonating. I take a deep breath and close my eyes and let my hand take over. I can feel the stele moving of it's own accord and drawing the most intricate pattern onto my arm. I can feel the rune finishing and then I lower my hand and arm just in time to feel the burning start.

It begins to radiate from the rune and it quickly spreads to the rest of my body. That is when my blood curdling screams begin. The pain is like nothing I could have imagined. The worst pain I had ever experienced was when I broke my femur. That pain was like a walk in the park with ice cream compared to this. My eyes that were tightly shut fly open and I can see my skin glowing all over. I can see my mother a few feet away shouting something at me and then looking to the Silent Brothers and angrily shouting something at them. I let out another gut wrenching scream as I look around the room. I am about to begin to violently thrash. I can feel the irrational urge to try and run away from the pain taking over.

That is when my eyes come across a pair of steady dark brown eyes. Sebastian is crouching a few feet away from me at my eye level and his eyes are the picture of calm. I lock my eyes with his and use him as an anchor. I shut my mouth and stifle the screams as I focus on matching my breathing with his. I can hear him say, "That's good, Clary. Just breath." I feel another wave of burning pain in my ear and it is like my skin is being pealed off of me. I let out a loud groan and then refocus my eyes on Sebastian's. "It's almost over." I hear him say. "I can see the light fading from you. Just a few moments longer."

My eyes are still locked with his as I feel the last little bit of burning fade from me and I suck in a huge ragged breath of air. Sebastian moves lightning quick and beats the Silent Brothers to me. He grabs my hand as I can feel a sheen of sweat forming on my brow. He pulls out his stele and quickly draws an iratze on my arm. I can feel it helping slightly as he takes my hand and then bends forward and kisses my forehead. I can see out of the corner of my eye Brother Zachariah bend down to me and turn my ear over. He then motions for the other Silent Brothers to come over. All the while I am looking into Sebastian's eyes as he smiles gently to me. "How do you feel?" he whispers to me as I see my mother get on her knees beside him.

"I feel tired. That really, _really_ sucked." he gives me a humorless smile to go along with his humorless laugh.

"It didn't look like it was all too pleasant." he whispers to me as my mother pushes my hair out of my face. I can tell she is trying to give Sebastian and myself a little space. "Thank you." I whisper ardently to him.

He furrows his brows as he says, "For what?"

"For being my anchor through the storm." I say to him. "You gave me something to focus on other than the intense pain. The way you stayed calm gave me something to hold onto to. So, thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you."

He smiles lovingly at me and squeezes my hand and he leans forward and places a small yet loving peck on my lips. When he pulls back, my heart swells again with affection for him.

" _It appears that the rune is gone_." I hear a voice resonate inside my head. I snap it around and look to Brother Zachariah. "It's gone?" I ask him.

" _Yes, Princess. It is gone_."

I turn back to Sebastian and his smile is blinding. He moves aside as my mom gives me a big hug and then Jonathan comes over to me. "Wow, Clary." he says lowly to me. "You glowed like E.T.'s finger, except all over your body. That was freaking awesome."

I give a small laugh as I roll my eyes and begin to sit up. Magnus comes over and I can see glowing blue sparks coming from his hands. He puts them to my chest and I am flooded with energy and I no longer feel tired. He pulls his hands back as he asks me, "Is that better, biscuit?" I smile at the nickname he has given me and say, "Much better. Thank you, Magnus."

" _The Princess should rest while we observe her for any abnormalities_." one of the Silent Brothers says.

"I can just sit in here on one of the couches. If that is alright?" I ask looking to Brother Zachariah.

" _That will be fine_." he replies.

I move to sit on the most comfortable couch and Sebastian quickly takes the seat next to me. I can hear my mother kicking everyone out of the room, save Sebastian, herself, and the Silent Brothers. As soon as everyone is gone, I lean into Sebastian's side as he wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes as he kisses my hair and within minutes, I am out like a light.

I end up just taking a power nap and waking up an hour later to the hushed voices of my mother and Jonathan. The moment I move, Sebastian's arms tighten around me. I push off of his chest slowly and sit up. "Hey. How are you feeling?" he asks quietly.

"Better." I say as I examine myself internally. I still feel tired, but it's manageable. I reach my hand up to my ear and Sebastian says, "It's gone."

"I know." I reply. I don't feel the urge I had to go to him anymore. I don't feel him in me anymore. "It's nice to not feel this pull towards him anymore." I take a deep breath. "I feel like myself again and I didn't even realize that I didn't feel like myself until now."

He looks down at me and tucks my hair behind my ear. "I am so glad for that. I can finally have you all to myself now."

I feel a pang of hurt crosses my heart as I think about how I lied to him about Jace. "You have had me to yourself for a while now. Not even some demon rune could stop me from thinking about you as soon as he stopped touching me." He looks down to my lips and pulls me in for a lingering closed mouth kiss. When I pull back, I look over to where my mom and Jonathan are talking with the Silent Brothers. I sit up further and lean forward away from Sebastian before I call attention to myself.

"Hey mom." I say in my normal speaking voice. Her head jerks over to me like lightning and her face lights up. Jonathan looks over to me and gives me a small smile too. My mother walks over to me and sits on the table in front of me as she wraps me in a big hug. "Clary, you did it. You got rid of your rune. I can't believe it worked."

I scoff at her. "You mean, you doubted my freaky glowing hand powers? You should never bet against a hand that glows in the dark." Sebastian laughs heartily at this as my mother smiles and rolls her eyes. "Did what happened to me also happen to Jace? I wouldn't mind if he felt what I felt. That was _awful_." I wrap my arms around myself.

"There was a team of Silent Brothers down there watching him while you put the rune on your body." my mother answers me. "It seems that he did feel what you felt and it broke the bond he had between the two of you. But it didn't get rid of the possession rune on his foot and he won't tell us who put it there."

"Did anyone try the heavenly fire rune on him yet?"

My mom looks over to where the Silent Brothers are talking to each other with their minds. "Two of the Silent Brothers tried, but it didn't work. They think that you may be the only one who can apply the rune. It was also the same with the other rune you made the other day. The portal one."

I look back to Sebastian who doesn't seemed surprised so I guess somebody told him. "So I am the only one who can use those? What about some of the others?"

"We tried and the majority of them, anyone can use, but there are a few that are simply too powerful for us to use." Mom says to me. I look back to Sebastian again and say. "I am surprised you aren't running away. I am a freak of nature."

He furrows his brows angrily as he sits up abruptly. "You are _not_ a freak of nature. You were given a gift by Raziel himself. That makes you incredibly special and beautiful. Think of all the good you can do with your gift." He grabs my hand and smiles at me and I blush at his words.

I turn back to my mother because I really want to kiss him right now. "Does that mean that I have to put the rune on him?"

"Only if you want to." she says quickly holding up her hands. I drop her gaze and look down at the floor. "I can't just leave him like that." I mumble to myself. "Knowing that I wasn't in full control of my emotions or actions was horrible. I can't imagine how it has been for him for who knows how long. What will you do with him if I don't?"

My mom sits up straight and looks sadly into my eyes. "Now that you are free of your bond to him, if you don't want to use the rune on him, we will have no choice but to kill him out of mercy."

"Well that settles it then." I say with determination in my voice. "I will put the rune on him. I don't want him to die just because someone took advantage of him first."

Sebastian looks to me with a sort of awed look. "How are you so forgiving? After everything he did to you?"

I shake my head at him. "I am hoping that it wasn't him and that it was whoever is controlling him that made him do all of those things. You kept saying it wasn't my fault that I did those things while he had control over me. How is he any different?"

My mother and Sebastian both glance at each other and then back at me as he gently shakes his head back and forth. "Once again, Clary. You amaze me. You are so kind and understanding and forgiving yet your aren't afraid to put up a fight when necessary. You will be such an amazing queen."

"Yes, she will." my mother adds in. It feels weird to have people talking about me like that so I just drop my head and look at the floor. It feels weird to be looked at the way they are both looking at me. Like I am some amazing miracle when I am just _me_. I have to change the subject. "So when do we do this thing with Jace? I am ready if you are." I say to my mother.

She rolls her eyes as she stands and says, "There is definitely no rest where Clary is concerned." with a smile. "We can go now if you are feeling up to it."

"Well it beats just sitting around her and being watched by everyone. I feel like I am in a zoo." Sebastian quickly stands up and then turns around to offer me his hand and he helps pull me up. I smooth down my semi-dressy shirt and walk over to Jonathan where he is standing by the door talking to Sophie? I look up to Sebastian. "I didn't know Sophie was in here."

He looks unsurely down to me. "Do you not want her here?"

I shake my head at his question. "No, no. It's okay. I was just surprised to see her here after last night."

"I think she came to apologize." my mom says as she comes to stand next to me. Just then, Sophie looks up sheepishly at me and excuses herself from her conversation with Jonathan and walks towards me.

"How are you today, Sophie?" I ask her. She gives me a shy smile as my mother steps away to give us some privacy. "I am better today. I am so, so sorry about what I said to you last night. I was really upset that he lied to me and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I feel really bad about that."

"It's okay, Sophie. Really." I smile at her. "I know a thing or two about cheating boyfriends and the kind of rage they can inspire. I had one myself."

Sophie seems to give a little laugh at this. "They can inspire us to do a lot of crazy things."

"Yes, they can." I say with a little laugh. An awkward silence passes between us. After a few seconds, Sebastian appears from where he stepped away to let us talk. "Is everything copacetic now between the two lovely ladies in my life?"

I give him a smile as I lean into his side and his arm comes to wrap around me. "We are perfectly copacetic." Sophie smiles brightly at me. "So," she says with a clap of her hands, "what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"

I look up to Sebastian and then back down to Sophie and then over to the Silent Brothers who are now looking at our group expectantly. Or at least I think it is expectantly. You can't really tell with some of their eyes missing and their mouths sown shut. "We are actually about to go down to the cellar and use the heavenly fire on Jace to rid him of his possession rune."

Sophie's face suddenly falls and turns into one of panic as she begins to spit out words quickly. "You can't use that rune on Jace! He doesn't have the extra angel blood that you do! It will kill him! You can't do that to him!" she is practically shouting at the top of her lungs by the end of her tirade.

Sebastian steps in front of her and holds his hands out in a gesture of peace. "Sophie! What do you expect will happen to him if he doesn't have the rune removed from him? They will kill him. The only chance he has to live is with Clary's help. And this way, you get to have the real Jace back."

"But that is the real Jace!" she shouts back at him. "He still says all of the things that he always has and acts the way he always has."

"Except for the fact that he killed his own team that was dispatched to kill Asmodei." Sebastian says stiffly to her.

"I won't let you! You can't! You will kill him!" Sophie begins to let a few tears slip and my mother comes over.

"I'm sorry, Sophie, but this is the only chance he has at survival. If you want, you can come with us and be with him while it is happening. You won't be able to hold his hand or anything, but at least you will be there for him."

She starts shaking her head no before my mom is done speaking and then she turns and pushes past my brother and disappears through the door. I look after her sadly. She is so in love with him. Sebastian takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "Do you need to go after her?" I ask him.

He looks down at me and gives me a smile through pursed lips. "No. I did my part last night. I am sure my mother can take care of her. I am here for _you_ today."

I smile back up at him and then look to the Silent Brothers. "I am ready when ya'll are." I say to them. They don't say anything and begin to walk forward. I take this as a 'yes Princess Clarissa, we _are_ ready' and then we are walking to the cellar. Jonathan who is leading the way stops at the junction of a hallway and says quietly. "This is where we went wrong last night."

"Is that why Izzy and I beat you two there?" I ask him.

Jonathan turns around and looks at me. "We kind of got lost."

Something about this strikes me as funny and I laugh as my mother takes the lead. After a few twists and turns we arrive down in the cellar and find the other five Silent Brothers that mom said were here. They are standing around Jace who is now unshackled and walking around in his cell.

His eyes look up to us approaching and his eyes land on me. "Clever girl, Clary." he says sinisterly. "I didn't take you for someone who would willingly put yourself through such pain to get rid of me. Usually, girls would die just to be near me, much less have me tied to them in such a special way."

"Don't forget," Sebastian says lowly and with malice, "that you are no longer bonded to Clary so I can kick your ass to within an inch of your life, you piece of shit."

Jace just laughs loudly at this and says, "I would love to see you try."

"That is enough boys." my mother interjects. "We are here to rid you of your possession rune, Jace."

He folds his arms across his chest and narrows his eyes at my mom. "And what if I told you that I didn't want it removed."

"I would tell you that you don't have a choice." she replies with authority. Magnus scoots out from behind the Silent Brothers and his hands are sparking blue again. He holds them up and then I see Jace become tense and stand as still as a statue. A Silent Brother moves into his cell and places glowing handcuffs on him and then on his feet. He walks around to the door and then says in his mind voice, " _He is ready for you_."

I look nervously to my mother and she reassures me. "Magnus will hold him still for you. He won't let any harm come to you."

"And I will go in there with you." Sebastian adds in. "I don't like him that close to her either."

I nod to him and then we are walking around and into the cell. I look back out and see Jonathan standing close to the passage way out and my mother is next to him. They both give me an encouraging smile and Sebastian pulls out his own stele and hands it to me. I take it from him and feel the power flow through me for a second and then my hand begins to pulse. I take a deep breath and look up to Jace who is moving his eyes wherever I go. I guess that is the only thing he can move. I pull up his sleeve and I notice how I don't feel the tingly sensation of electricity from touching him anymore. Part of me was hoping that I would feel it. It was so intoxicating and then I remind myself why it was and then I come back to my senses.

I put the tip of the stele to his skin and begin to draw the rune. When I am about half way done, I hear a girls voice shouting, coming down the hall. "Wait!" she screams and I can tell it is Sophie. "Just wait! Don't do it yet!" she is yelling as she comes around the corner, but it is too late. I finish the rune and quickly back away as I see it sink into his skin.

Then his screaming starts. He tenses and Magnus releases him as he falls to the floor and begins to thrash. Just then I hear another scream come from Sophie. I look over to her and she is on her knees screaming and scratching at herself. I look back to Jace and his skin is glowing as he grunts in pain. Sophie is still screaming and I can see Jonathan down on his knees trying to find out what is wrong with her. Jace's screaming begins to die off and so does Sophie's as she is staring at Jace on the floor. I back away out of the cell as he begins to sit up and they close him in as he looks around.

His eyes fall on Sophie and he yells "Her!". I look over to her to see that she has produced a knife and is now standing behind Jonathan as he kneels on the ground. She has the knife poised above his heart. I suck in a startled breath as Sebastian says, " _Sophie_! What are you doing?"

She looks to him and screams, "I had to do it! They wanted to take Jace away from me! I couldn't let them do it. He loves _me_! He wants to be with _me_ and the Clave told me no. And now that I know dear Clarissa's secret gift, I can finally bring down this whole fucking joke of an organization! The Asmodei cannot be defeated!" She raises her hand that is holding the knife, and in blinding speed, brings it down into Jonathan's chest as a chorus of screams erupt and then she suddenly disappears down the hallway.


	15. Chapter 15

**I totally didn't mean for this chapter to be so long but it kind of just happened that way so...here ya'go.**

* * *

I stand there shocked for about two seconds and then I am pushing to Jonathan. My mother screams and pulls out her stele. She sets it to his skin and it just sinks in, not doing anything. I land on my knees on the other side of Jonathan. He looks up to me and I can see how much pain he is in. "Jonathan!" I cry out. "No, no, no. You're fine." He turns his eyes up to me and there is almost a blank expression on his face. Like he is not seeing me. The blood is pouring from his chest and I can see some gurgling in his mouth. I vaguely hear my mother's sobs as she tries again and again to apply an iratze.

Magnus pushes forward and his hands are sparking blue. He pushes his hands to Jonathan's chest and closes his eyes in concentration. My mother leans forward and puts her hands on either side of his face and his eyes turn to look at her. Tears are readily streaming down her face. 'I can't believe my brother is dying' I think to myself. And then I think, "Why am I just sitting here?" I say quietly out loud.

I take Sebastian's stele from my pocket and I feel the power surge through me. I rip open his shirt and put the tip of the stele to his chest and close my eyes. I think about when we were kids and after I broke my leg, how Jonathan carried me the half mile back to our house, never stopping to rest. I think about his stupid face when makes a short joke at my expense and I think about how much I love him and how I just can't lose him.

I put all of me into drawing my first iratze. I open my eyes as I begin to draw the last line and see that my hand is glowing brighter than I have ever seen it and so is the rune that I just drew. It glows a bright gold for a second before sinking into his skin and I watch as Jonathan's chest begins to knit itself back together. The wound closes and he begins to suck in deep breaths of air and I can see color coming back to his face. My mom's eyes brighten up as she watches what is happening. After about half a minute, I can see that he is going to be okay just as I start to feel dizzy.

I fall back onto the floor as the room starts to spin. I can see Magnus appear over me and see that he has now turned his attention to me. I feel this surge of energy flood my veins and it feels like I have just drank ten cups of coffee. I can here Jace yelling my name...but I don't know why. A few seconds later and I am able to sit up. I look down at Jonathan who looks like he just got hit by a truck.

"Jonathan." I say surprised to see his eyes open. "Are you okay? How do you feel?" My mom who is crying into his chest sits up and wraps me in a big hug as she says over and over, "You saved him. You saved him."

I pull away from Mom and look back down to Jonathan as he weakly points at our mother and says, "What she said." I smile as I laugh a humorless breathy laugh and wrap him in huge hug. I feel some tears start to roll down my cheeks as I pull back and smile as I rest my forehead to his. "I just couldn't lose you." I whisper to him.

"Well you didn't. I am not that easy to kill with a sister who's hand lights up like E.T." I let out another laugh and let some more tears slip out of my eyes as I pull my head up to look into his eyes, "How can you makes jokes right now?" I ask him.

"Because I am no good with crying women. Don't you know that by now?" This time my mother joins me in laughing as we both lean forward and kiss him on each of his cheeks. That is when I look up to the rest of the room and I see Alec and Izzy embracing each other; both with tear streaked faces. I look over to Sebastian who is just standing there frozen looking at Jonathan on the ground. He looks like he just recieved a thousand volts of electrity to the heart and is just stuck with a shocked face. I look down to Jonathan one more time and kiss him earnestly on the forehead as he closes his eyes and then I stand up.

I pull down my ivory shirt that has been stained red by Jonathan's blood and slowly make my way toward Sebastian. He looks like he would be startled if I moved to suddenly. I get to right in front of him and reach out and take his hand. "Sebastian?" I say quietly. When he doesn't respond, I bring my hand up to his cheek and rest my palm against it as I say his name again. His eyes break away from the scene in front of him and refocus on me.

"Are you okay?" I ask him quietly.

"It was Sophie. All along it was Sophie. It makes so much sense now." he whispers to no one in particular.

"Yes. It was Sophie." I say back to him. "And she just stabbed my brother in the heart." My words seem to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. I can see his eyes truly focus in on me and he bends down to my eye level as he says in an almost panicked tone, "Are you okay?"

I nod my head and he engulfs me in his arms. I hug him back, relishing in the comfort he is offering. He breaks away and kisses me on the hair and steps away from me. He walks over to where my mother and Jonathan are on the floor and crouches down next to them as he says, "Your Majesty, your Highness, I am sorry for what my sister has done and I now renounce any and all loyalty I have towards her. I will find her and bring her to justice."

My mother looks up to Sebastian and says, "You had better find her before I do because I won't be as forgiving as Clary has been with her."

He nods. "I understand, and once again, I am so sorry." He stands up and offers me one more tortured glance before he takes off running at full speed down the corridor. I look after him for a second then I begin to make my way back to Jonathan and my mother. Alec comes up and drops to his knees by Jonathan's legs as he wipes a tear from his eyes. Alec looks up to me and says, "Thank you for saving my best friend." I just give a small nod and a smile to him as I turn my attention back to my brother.

His eyes are closed but his breath is coming regularly now and my mother is running her fingers through his hair like when he was sick when we were kids. The Silent Brothers who had been in a silent conference with each other this whole time (a lot of help they were) all turn to us in unison.

" _We should move the Prince to his room to rest_." says a voice inside of my head. My mother nods and suddenly Magnus steps forward again as the blue light begins to leave his fingers. In a matter of seconds, Jonathan is rising off of the floor like he is floating and my mother is walking next to him holding his hand. I go to leave with them when I hear someone whisper my name. I jerk my head back to see Jace pressed up against the bars. I scrunch my brows at him wondering what in the hell could he possibly want. I turn to leave again and he says louder this time, "Wait! Please!"

I take a deep breath and turn to face him as I let everyone pass till it is just me and him in the cellar. "This had better be good." I say lowly to him. His expectant face falls and he drops his gaze to the floor for a second before returning his eyes to my face. "I just wanted to make sure you are okay." he says sheepishly.

I am suddenly flooded with rage as I look at his face. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?!" I shout at him. "First, my whole life is taken away from me. I think I fall in love with someone only to realize that it was only because he had put a demonic _FUCKING_ rune of possession on me. And now, my fiance's sister just stabbed my brother in the heart and I watched him almost die. So to answer you question, _no_ , I am _not_ okay!"

I spin on my heels and begin to walk away. I am almost to the corridor when he shouts, "It wasn't all a lie!" I stop and turn to face him again.

"What part wasn't a lie? The part where you practically _raped_ me by kissing me on my neck so you could more easily manipulate me?"

"I didn't mean for that to happen, Clary!" he says loudly. "I was still mostly me and such a huge part of me wanted to be with you because I fell in love with you. When I kissed you, I didn't mean for that to be so influential. I just wanted to kiss the girl I was in love with."

Angry tears begin to slip out of my eyes. "Bullshit!" I scream at him. He visibly flinches at my words. "You put the rune on me. You manipulated me into having feelings for you. You used the rune to get what you want. And don't you _dare_ deny it!"

His eyes fall to the ground and he takes steps backwards away from the edge of his cell. "I'm sorry, Clary. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, you shouldn't have." I say sternly to him and then I am gone, running down the corridor. I run into Izzy who had been listening and she holds out her arms for me and I run straight into them. I hug her tightly and I cry big fat tears onto her shoulder as she rubs soothing circles onto my back. My whole body begins to shake as the days events catch up with me. Izzy lets go of me and then wraps her arm around my waist to help support me as we start to walk again.

After a few minutes of standing at the door to the cellar drying my eyes and taking deep breaths with Izzy's help, I finally feel okay enough to join my family. I walk with Izzy to my brother's room where I find my mother laying on the bed next to a sleeping Jonathan. I climb on the other side of him onto his bed and lay down next to him. "Where were you?" my mother whispers. I swallow past the lump in my throat and say, "You don't want to know." Thankfully, she doesn't question me any further and we both close our eyes and drift off to sleep; us both holding one of Jonathan's hands.

* * *

 **-Izzy**

As soon as I know that Clary is safe in Jonathan's heavily guarded room, I leave. There are a few things that I now need to do. The first one is Jace. I angrily make my way back down to the cellar, fuming the whole way. I push the cellar door open and descend the steps, two at a time until I am rounding the corner to Jace's cell. He looks up to me as I come around the corner and jumps up from where he is sitting on the floor. He looks expectantly behind me as he says "Clary?" questioningly, waiting for her to appear around the corner.

"Don't you _dare_ refer to your Princess so informally!" I shout with pure anger at him. His eyes come back to meet mine as he blanches at my words.

"I...I...just thought that she..." Jace stammers as I cut him off.

"You just thought what?" I ask him. "That she would come running back to you after everything you have done to her!?" My hands are in fists at my sides and I can feel the rage surging through me. "And then, to top it all off, you decide to tell her that you are in love with her just after she watched her brother almost die? How could you say that to her? You don't know anything about her! From the moment she met you, you were lying to her, whether it was your choice or not. How is she supposed to respond to you saying that you love her when she doesn't know who the real you is? When every touch you ever shared was a fucking lie! You stole her virginity from her, you bastard, and your response it to say 'I love you'?" I take a deep breath as I look at him. I can see his face falling as I am yelling.

"If you have any decency left in any tiny part of your body, you will let her be and never try to contact her again." I say to him with authority. "She has a real chance to be happy with Sebastian who she is falling in love with. The last thing she needs is you confusing her by telling her that you love her. I mean, how do you know if you even love her? You had a possession rune on you for who knows how long and you were not fully yourself."

"Six months. Sophie put it on me six months ago." he says quietly.

"There! That is my point. You weren't fully yourself and you made her fall in love with you with the help of the rune. That was part of the plan, wasn't it?"

"No, that was not part of the plan." He says back to me as he goes and sits on his bed. "The plan was for me to be assigned to her protection detail so I could figure out the suppossed gift Raziel gave her and then use her against the Council and Clave to bring down all of the shadowhunters. That is why Sophie was so mad last night. She found out that I had kissed and...had sex with her."

I shake my head violently at him. "No. You did not have sex with her. As far as I am concerned, you used the power of the rune to rape her."

He jumps off of his bed quickly and begins to say quickly, "But that was an _accident_! I didn't mean for that to happen. I was looking at her and she just looked so beautiful and when I kissed her, I guess my own feelings of wanting to 'be' with her spread into her and ..." He growls loudly as he pulls on his hair roughly. "You're right." he says shocking me. "What I did could be considered rape. But all I know now, is that even with the possession rune gone and me being myself again, I truly am in love with her."

"Just _SHUT UP_!" I scream at him. "Stop saying that and leave her alone! She has a real and true chance to be really and truly happy with who she is supposed to marry. So, like I said, if you have any shred of decency left in you, you will leave her alone and never speak to her again. If you do, I will hunt you down and rip out your throat. Do you understand?"

He looks up to me as he says, "I understand. She does have a right to be happy after everything I have put her through. I won't bother her again." he says completely dejected as his shoulders slump and he walks to the corner of the room. I turn and leave, satisfied that I have that one problem solved. Now it is time for the second problem. _Fucking Sophie_. I will hunt this bitch to the ends of this world and to the ends of ours if I have to. She stabbed Jonathan who is practically my brother, in the heart and she will die because of it.

I make my way through the halls to the Consul's corridor where I see Sebastian's guards along with his parent's guards standing by one of the doors. They all snap to attention when they see me because I am part of the royal guard. "Are the Consul and his family in there together?" I ask James, Sebastian's guard. He gives me a stiff nod. "And where is Sophie?" I ask him.

James shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, Miss Lightwood. Her and her guard, Edward, have disappeared. Sebastian came and told his parents of what Sophie did and they have been in the room ever since."

"Do any of you have any ideas of where she could possibly be?" I ask. James looks over at one of the other guards and then back to me. "I don't think Sophie will leave Jace behind. She will come back for him. She has been obsessed with getting him back since he broke up with her."

"He broke up with her? When?" I ask.

"Sophie convinced him to come back and see her a little over seven months ago when they had broken up a few weeks before." James begins to tell me. "When Sebastian told his parents about their relationship, it had pretty much already ended. Then, a month later, Jace came back to see Sophie per her request and the next thing I know, Sebastian tells me that he walked in on them having sex when Jace had been clear about not wanting to be with her the last time they saw each other. I am guessing that when he came back is when she put the rune on him. She was really desperate to get him back after he left."

"That psychotic _bitch_." I mumble to myself. I can see Mrs. Verlac's guard move to say something and then stop himself. I look up at him and raise my brow questioningly at him. "Is there something you would like to say?" I ask condescendingly.

He straigtens up and says, "I just don't think it's right to talk about the Consul's daughter like that."

My mouth falls open and I scoff, heavily. "Are you serious right now?" I ask him as I step closer to his face. "The Consul's daughter just tried to _murder_ your crowned prince _after_ she put a demonic rune of possession on someone who then, in return, put one on your next Queen! And here you are, trying to defend her honor." I look him up and down slowly in disgust. "You are a piece of work." I look over to James. "Tell Sebastian when he comes out, that I would like a word with him." James nods his head and then I am gone.

I need to find Andrew Blackthorn to make sure he is going to send his best people out to hunt this bitch down. There need to be guards all around Jace at all times and maybe he could even be used as bait to catch her. Either way, she will be found and will pay dearly for what she has done.

* * *

 **-Clary**

I wake up to someone poking me. Someone jabs a finger in my side again and again and I remember where I am. My head snaps up to see Jonathan looking down at me as he brings his finger up to his lips in a motion for me to be quiet. I am so glad to see his dumb face right now. He drops his finger and points to our mother who is on the other side of him. I sit up a little and see that she is laying on her back, lightly snoring, and that she has drool coming from the corner of her mouth and it is sliding down her cheek.

I look back to Jonathan who is laughing silently at the scene and I smile widely at him. I sit up enough to slide up just a little and wrap him in a tight hug. I put my arms around his neck and squeeze as tightly as I can. I feel so much overwhelming relief that he is okay. He slowly puts his arms around me and returns my hug. After a I let a few tears slip, I pull back and kiss him on the cheek. When I pull back, he is making a gross face as he rubs my kiss off with his hand.

"I am so glad you didn't die." I whisper to him.

"Me too." he whispers back with emphasis. The look on his face when he says this makes me start to giggle silently. "I am so glad that I was _finally_ proved right." I furrow my brows at him in confusion. "I was right all of these years that an alien does live inside of you and is trying to claw it's way out of your stomach. Who knew that it would be E.T.? I thought it would be something cooler like the ones from 'Predator'."

I roll back onto the bed and am unable to stop the laughter that escapes my lips. My mother sits up straight and looks over at me laughing and then up at Jonathan, who is also laughing, and her whole face lights up. She wraps him in a huge hug and then pulls back to land kiss after kiss all over his face.

" _Moooom_! Stop it!" Jonathan says without conviction. Mom eventually stops and then wraps both of us in a giant hug. When she releases us, I sit up and smooth down my hair. I still have the bloody shirt on and he notices.

"Is all of that _my_ blood?" he asks surprised. I nod my head gravely.

Mom pulls his face over to her. "Jonathan. You almost died. If it weren't for your sister," she looks up to me lovingly, "you would have died down there."

He shakes his head. "I just can't believe it was Sophie this whole time." He looks at me thoughtfully. "I even thought about letting her take me on a date, the crazy bitch." I laugh gently at this. Our mother sits up and folds her legs indian style on the bed. "Are you hungry, Jonathan? Do you think you can eat?" she asks him.

I can see her eyes looking to where he was stabbed, looking for anything to suggest he was less than alright. He is still shirtless from where I cut away his shirt to apply the iratze. After a quick once over and not even finding a scar, she looks back up to his face as he says, "I think I could eat something."

Mom pushes off of the bed and begins to walk over to the door. "I will tell them to bring us up something." She opens the door and steps out. A few seconds later, Alec and Izzy are walking back in with our mom. Alec looks to Jonathan and purses his lips. "I am so sorry, Jonathan. I should have been there to stop her. I just didn't see her as a threat to you. I thought..."

Jonathan cuts him off. "Just don't let it happen again because I really hate being stabbed. Like, _really, really_ hate it. Just remember this one thing and all will be forgiven." Alec looks seriously at Jonathan and nods his head. "Anything, Jon." Alec says.

Jonathan levels his eyes at Alec and says completely serious, "Bitches be crazy."

The whole room erupts in laughter then. How Jonathan can make jokes right now is beyond me. After the laughing dies down a few minutes later, Jonathan pushes himself up on the bed and props his back up with pillows as Luke brings in a tray of soup and a sandwich for him. He scarfs it down in no time, all the while talking and laughing with our mother, me, Izzy and Alec. The light coming from the window slowly begins to fade and then goes dark. I see Jonathan look over to the clock on his wall and it is nearly eight-thirty. I take the hint and stand up.

"Okay, everybody." I say looking around the room. "I think Jonathan needs to get some more sleep." I look over to mom. "Do you want to go down to the kitchen and get some dinner?" I ask her.

"I think that is a good idea." she says smiling at me. She then looks to Jonathan and walks over to him and places a kiss on his forehead. When she pulls back, she levels her eyes at him. "If you need anything at all, your sister is next door and I am across the hall, okay?"

He puts his hand up to his brow in a mock salute and says, "Yes ma'am."

I smile back at him and say "I love you big brother." He smiles back at me and says, "And I love you little sister."

We leave his room and I look to my mother who is also still wearing her blood stained clothes. "Go change and meet me back out here in five, okay?" Mom says to me. I nod and go into my room to change. I walk over to my wardrobe and open the doors and see myself in the mirror. I am covered in my brother's blood. The whole front of my ivory shirt is now red and so are most of my jeans. The longer I look at myself, the more and more angry I get. I rip my shirt and pants off and throw them angrily to the floor. I don't care if Sophie is Sebastian's sister. When I find her, I will kill her.

I grab a washcloth and wet it with soap as I wash off the blood that I missed earlier when I wiped down when he was eating dinner. I go back to the wardrobe and dig down to the bottom. Izzy had better have gotten me some tank tops. After digging a few seconds, I pull out a spaghetti strap undershirt and a baggy tank top with over sized arm holes that open all the way to my rib cage. I slip on the undershirt and then then tank on top of it where it shows most of my shirt underneath it. I pull on some jean shorts and pull my hair back in a pony tail and slip out of my room. I find my mother there waiting for me in jeans and a flowy shirt surrounded by extra security.

She takes my hand like when I was a kid and we walk down to the kitchen holding hands and not saying anything. We almost make it there when I see Mrs. Verlac's guard come running up to us. Our extra guards block his advance quickly. He stops and bows gently and then straightens up. "Your Majesty, you Highness, the Consul and his family were hoping to have a word with you and your daughter this evening." he says.

I look to my mother who is looking intently at him. She takes a deep breath and then speaks. "Tell them that we will be waiting in the library for them."

"Yes, your Majesty." he says. He then bows gently and then is gone.

"Looks like dinner will have to wait." Mom says turning around and heading into the library. We push into the room and the guards walk around the room turning on the witchlight lamps. I can tell my mother has changed into Queen mode as she walks to the large desk in the middle of the room and stands tall in front of it. I take her que and walk over to her and stand at her right shoulder as I ask, "Is this where I should stand?"

She nods her head and I turn my face to the door and stand up straight, squaring my shoulders. My mother gives the guard at the door a slight nod and he opens it to reveal the Verlac's. Michael is standing in the middle with Sebastian to one side and his wife to the other. It is clearly visible that Adriana has been crying. Her face and eyes are red and you can see where she has tried to rub the makeup off of her face that has smudged because of all of her crying.

They bow and curtsy low and deep and then move forward into the room. I freeze my face in a mask of indifference as my eyes fall on Sebastian. He looks at me for a few seconds and then turns his attention to my mother as his face is also a mask of business. They come to a stop in front of us a little ways away and bow and curtsy once more. Michael looks up to my mother when he straightens up and swallows harshly.

"First and foremost, I must ask how our Prince is." Michael says.

When my mother answers, her voice is stiff and formal and a little intimidating. "He is doing better and is recuperating in his room."

I can see Adriana visibly relax at this news. Either she was actually concerned for his well being or she was concerned as to what would happen to her family if he had died. "That is amazing news to hear, your Majesty." Michael says to her. He swallows harshly again as he continues. "As of our daughter, we swear on the Angel that we had no idea what she had done and are completely mortified by her actions. Not myself, nor my wife, or my son condone any of her actions nor do we try to understand why she has done them or make excuses for them. I hereby, swear on the Angel that I renounce any and all loyalties or ties I have to my daughter, Sophie and I will help find her and bring her to justice."

Adriana looks up then and says, "I hereby, swear on the Angel that I renounce any and all loyalties or ties I have to my daughter, Sophie, and I will help find her and bring her to justice." I can see a tear slip from her eyes before she looks down to the ground.

I look over to Sebastian then as he begins to repeat the same words he said earlier in the cellar and that his parents just said in his deep voice. "I hereby, swear on the Angel that I renounce any and all loyalties or ties that I have to my sister, Sophie, and I will help find her and bring her to justice."

I look to my mother who's face is still stoic and impassive as she looks down on them. "I am grateful for your honesty but I do hope you understand that I will have to have each of you testify with the Mortal Sword to make sure. I am done taking chances with my family."

Michael looks sheepishly at my mother and nods as he says, "Of course, you Majesty." My mother looks up to the guard at the door and gives him a knowing nod. He opens the door to reveal three Silent Brothers walking in holding a wicked looking sword. Adriana and Michael look back to it with surprise on their face.

"Right now?" Michael asks looking to my mother.

She nods her head as she says, "Yes. I hope you will understand being that your son is supposed to marry my daughter and I _will not_ take any more chances with my children. Or did you not hear that part?" she says daring him to say anything contradictory.

Michael shakes his head, "No. I completely understand. We would be more than happy to." He turns around as they bring the huge sword forward. He gets on his knees as one of the Silent Brothers picks it up. Michael holds out his hands, palms up to the ceiling, and the sword is placed into his hands. I can see him grimace slightly for some reason. My mother takes a few steps forward as her hands are clasped together in front of her and looks down at Michael.

"Did you know about your daughter, Sophie's allegiance with the Asmodei?" she asks him, the picture of formality.

He grimaces slightly before he answers. "No."

"Do you side with your daughter, Sophie, in her beliefs?"

"No."

"Does your loyalty still lay with the Clave, Council, and myself?"

"Yes."

"Do you plan on helping your daughter in any way?"

"No."

"Do you swear to cut all ties and loyalties to your daughter forever from this day forward?"

He swallows hard before answering this time. "Yes. I swear it."

"Do you have any intention to harm myself, or any other member of my family in any way?"

"No."

My mother's shoulders relax infinitesimaly as she nods to one of the silent brothers. He steps forward and picks up the sword as Michael sucks in a deep breath as it leaves his hands. My mother repeats the same process with Adriana with the same results, except with a lot more tears from her.

Knowing that it is now Sebastian's turn, my heart picks up double time. My hands suddenly feel clammy and my mouth goes dry. I am terrified of what he is going to say. From what I can gather, the Mortal Sword makes you tell the truth and I am worried about what Sebastian will say.

He steps forward and gets on his knees like his parents before him and takes a deep breath as a Silent Brother brings the sword down and onto his hands. He shifts slightly uncomfortably when it touches his skin and then looks up to my mother.

"Sebastian, did you have any knowledge of your sister putting a rune of demonic possession on Jace?"

"No."

"Did you have any knowledge of Jace placing a rune of demonic possession on my daughter?"

His eyes dart to me and then back to my mother. "No."

"Did you have any knowledge of your sister, Sophie's alliance with the Asmodei?"

"No."

"Do you side with Sophie in her beliefs?"

"No."

"Do you swear on the Angel, that from this day forward, to cut all ties and loyalties to your sister, Sophie?"

"Yes, I swear on the Angel."

"Do you swear loyalty to the Council, Clave, and to the crown?"

"Yes, I swear."

I take a deep breath thinking it is over but my mother eyes him and steps closer.

"Do you love my daughter, Clarissa?"

I suck in a startled breath at my mother's question. My eyes immediately dart to Sebastian's and his do the same to me."

He is quiet for a moment before looking deep into my eyes as he says, "Yes. I think I do love her."

My hand comes up to my face and rests over my mouth in surprise as my mother continues her questioning while Sebastian never takes his eyes away from mine.

"Do you swear to protect her from any and all harm that may come to her, even if it is from your sister?"

"I swear on the Angel to protect Clary with my life from any and all harm no matter what form it may take."

My mother nods her head to one of the Silent Brothers and he comes forward and takes the sword from Sebastian's hands. The moment the sword is gone, I am running to him before I had even realized I had made the decision to do so. He is still on his knees when I crash into him. His head comes just below mine and I wrap my arms around his neck in a bone crushing hug. He brings his arms around me and squeezes me just as tightly. The weight that was on my shoulders has been lifted and I am so glad that Sebastian had no knowledge of anything. "Clary." he whispers into my hair like it is a prayer.

I pull back slightly and place both of my hands on either side of his face and kiss him on the lips earnestly; not caring who is watching. His hands slide up to cup my face also and he kisses me back. I can feel the emotions pouring out of him and into me. "Sebastian" I whisper back to him. I get on my knees to join him and I look into his dark brown eyes. He kisses me again and then again and he brings his thumb up to my cheek and wipes away a tear that had fallen from my eyes. "Don't cry, my love." he whispers.

I smile sweetly up at him and say, "I am just so glad you were telling the truth. I don't think I could survive it if I found out that you had lied to me too."

He brushes the hair out of my face and behind my ear as he says, "I would never lie to you." I nod my head and smile at him as I lean in for another kiss. This one is a little more passion filled and after a few seconds I pull away and suddenly remember that the room is filled with people. I look around the room to see that everyone had turned their backs to us to give us privacy. Even my mother and his parents are a good distance away as to not hear what we are saying with their backs to us.

I look back to Sebastian who has noticed what I have and he stands up and then offers me his hand to help me up, which I gladly take. I lean up as he leans down and we share one last kiss before he clears his throat. My mother and his parents turn back around to us and my mother offers us a gentle smile. I look over to Michael and Adriana who offer us the same gentle smile that is slightly marred by losing their daughter.

"Unfortunately, this night is not over yet." my mother says with authority. We all look to her with surprise as she continues. "Since we are all here and so is the Mortal Sword," she looks to two of the guards, "I want you to bring me Jace Herondale so I can have him testify by it. I would like to be done with this matter as soon as possible."

I look at her in surprise and step closer to her as I lower my voice to where it is barely audible and say, "With me in here?" She looks up to me and replies, "You will be Queen and you need to know how to handle situations like this when you are under intense emotional stress. If you think it will be too much to face him right now, you can leave."

I briefly think about leaving. I still am not sure I am ready to face the 'real' Jace after everything that has happened. Knowing that he has seen me naked and took my virginity and then we spent the rest of that night together. I feel like he is a stranger that has seen the most intimate part of me and I don't like feeling that way. Running away would be the easy thing to do.

But it would also be the cowardly thing to do. Mom is right. I need to learn how to handle these types of situations under intense emotional distress. I look back up to her and say, "I will stay, but I would feel better if Sebastian stayed with me." I glance over my shoulder at him and reach out for his hand behind me. He takes my hand and nods his head to me. I look back to my mother who in turn, then nods also. "I guess your parents can stay too. Since they have been cleared of any wrong doing or treason they have every right to be here as well." She looks over to Michael who nods his head in understanding and agreement.

I turn around and face Sebastian and from his expression, he can see how panicked I am at the prospect of seeing Jace as himself. "It's okay, Clary. I won't let go of you the entire time." I nod to him and he wraps me in a hug and kisses the top of my head.

When we pull back, I can see that our parents have moved 'into formation' at the front of the big desk in the room. My mother stands in front while Michael moves to stand next to my mother and Adriana stands slightly to the side and behind him. I move to take my spot at her right shoulder, pulling Sebastian with me. He puts himself halfway behind me with his left hand coming to my left upper arm and resting there while the right side of him pokes out from behind me. He stands close to me and I can feel his shirt grazing my back. Having his hand on the bare skin of my arm is reassuring. I am using him as my anchor again. Steady, dependable, calm.

After a couple of tense minutes, the doors open wide and three guards enter with Jace in glowing handcuffs. His eyes immediately scan the room and come to rest on me. I tense slightly and Sebastian rubs his hand ever so gently up and down my arm a few times letting me know he is here. Jace thankfully releases me from his gaze as he comes to a stop in front of us. He looks to my mother and bows as he says, "Your Majesty," he looks to Michael, "Consul."

My mother's steely gaze reclaims his attention as she says, "Do you know why you are here, Jace Herondale?"

He glances around the room taking the scene before him and the less than formal attire of us but the entirely formal atmosphere of the room and his eyes land on the Mortal Sword. "Am I here to testify by the Mortal Sword, your Majesty?"

"Yes. That is why you are here." she answers him. She looks over to the Silent Brothers and gives them a nod. Jace gets on his knees and holds out his hands as one of the guards removes his handcuffs and the other places the sword in his upturned hands. I can tell by the look on his face, the sword is uncomfortable to hold, but not unbearable. He still hasn't looked at me since he first came in.

"I will begin with the questions now." She looks to him and he gives a tight nod in understanding. "Was Sophie Verlac the one to put the demonic possession rune on you?"

"Yes." He answers emphatically. "She lured me back to her house under false pretenses and then when I got there, she knocked me out with something. When I woke up, she had put the rune on my foot so it wouldn't easily be found."

"Did you agree to have the rune put on you?

"No."

"Why did she put the rune on you?"

"She was obsessed with me. After I broke up with her, she wouldn't stop calling me and following me."

"Was there a plan in place to put a demonic rune on the princess at this point?"

"No. That came later."

"When did it become a plan?"

"When Sebastian walked in on Sophie and I in bed together and we fought."

I blanch at this. It bothers me to here Jace being taken advantage of the same way I was. I wonder if he feels like he was raped like I do.

My mother continues his interrogation. "What was the plan?"

"The plan was to get assigned to the Princess' security detail to find out what gift Raziel had given her and then convince her with the possession rune Sophie had me place on her to join her cause for the Asmodei."

"Was there ever a plan for you make my daughter feel like she was in love with you?"

I stiffen again at this and I can feel Sebastian give my arm a reassuring squeeze. I take it back. I don't want to be here.

Jace's eyes dart to me for a fraction of a second and then he looks back to my mother as he says, "No. Sophie would have forbidden it if she thought that it was a possibility."

"Then why did you do it? Why did you begin a relationship with her?"

He swallows harshly. "Because she is beautiful and I wanted to."

My heart is practically pounding out of my chest and I am sure that everyone else in the room can hear it. The 'real' Jace called me beautiful and said that 'he' wanted to be with me.

"Do your loyalties lie with the Asmodei?"

"No."

"Do your loyalties lie with the Clave, the Council, and the crown?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any intention in harming my daughter, the Princess?"

His eyes dart to me as he says, "No. I love her."

This time, it is not only me who stiffens. I can feel Sebastian behind me tense considerably as I suck in a small soundless gasp as he says this. How in the hell could he love me? He hasn't been able to fully be himself the entire time he knew me. He must be lying. But he can't lie while holding the Mortal Sword. I don't know what to feel. I am confused. I just really want to leave this place right now. Run away from everything. He put the rune on me because he was forced to and I still don't know if I truly fell in love with him or if it was the rune.

Sebastian picks this time to bring me back to the land of the living by bringing his other hand up to my other arm and placing it on the top of my arm. I bring my hand up to place it over the top of his. I am so thankful for this small action because I could feel my emotions spiraling out of control. All of this has happened in my head in the matter of a few seconds. Jace breaks his eye contact with me with this sort of pained look on his face and I can tell my mother regrets asking him that or having me in the room to hear his answer. Which ever one it is, the room is now thick with an uncomfortable silence.

My mother takes a deep breath and continues. "Do you know where Sophie has gone?"

"No." he answers sounding defeated. "But I do think she will come back for me."

"Do you know what her plans are now?"

"No."

"Do you have any ideas on how to catch her?"

"Yes. Use me as bait."

"Is there anything else I should know that could be a threat to myself, my children, or the Consul, or our race?"

"Yes. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants."

"And what does she want?"

"She wants me and to bring down the Clave and Coucil because she is convinced that they are the ones who took me away from her."

"And am I to assume that you are the reason the Asmodei found myself and my children just a few days after you showed up?"

"Yes. I told them where you were."

My mother looks over to Michael and asks him if he has any questions for him. He looks down at Jace like he is the scum on the bottom of his shoe. "Yes. I do have a question." he replies. "Did you tell Sophie about anything you have heard while serving the Queen and her family that might be of use to the Asmodei?"

By the look on Jace's face, he did not want to answer the question. I could see him struggling against the pull of the sword.

"I told them," he says through clenched teeth, "that the princess is easily lied to and highly untrained and would be easy to kill if it came down to a fight."

When he says this, it feels like a punch in the gut. He practically said I was gullible and couldn't defend myself. He must think I am an idiot. Sebastian steps a little closer to where he is pressed lightly up against me. I can tell he doing this out of protectiveness after what Jace said.

"And what are your plans if the Queen and I clear you of any charges?" Michael asks condescendingly.

It is immediately obvious that he also does not want to answer this question either. He bites his lip in an effort to not tell the truth but he loses the battle. "I want to win Clary's heart and take her away and hide her so she will be safe."

Sebastian immediately tenses at this revelation from Jace as his grip tightens ever so slightly on my arms.

"You just admitted that you would kidnap the princess." Michael says.

"Not kidnap. Hide and keep safe."

My mother speaks up then. "Keep her safe from who?"

"From the Asmodei and Sophie."

"And that is why you will never again have access to the Princess." my mother says to him threateningly. "Guards, take him back to his cell until I can arrange for him to be moved somewhere." The Silent Brothers step forward and take the Mortal Sword from him as the guards pull him up. He glances to me once and I can see the sadness in his eyes as he drops his gaze back to the floor and then he disappears through the doors.

Sebastian immediately steps in front of me and bends down to my eye level. "Are you okay, Clary?" I nod weakly as a tear slips from my eyes. He sees this and immediately wraps my in his arms. "It's okay, Clary. I won't let him near you."

As he says this, I realize that that is not why I am crying. I am crying because the one person who I gave myself to heart and soul, who then completely destroyed it by finding out he had some sort of demonic possession over me, said that he was in love with me. Despite everything that has happened and everything that he has done to me. I am not even sure if I love him. I never got a chance to know him without someone else's influence over him. I never got a chance to know if I even liked it when I kissed him because the rune affected my body's reaction to him.

That is when I realize that it doesn't matter if I did truly love him. I will never be able to trust him or trust my own reactions to him. I will always second guess everything he says or does and my heart begins to crack a little. "Just hold me." I whisper to Sebastian and he squeezes me tighter to his chest being my anchor once again.

Sebastian holds me as I cry for a few minutes. I feel like I just ran a marathon with my emotions today. It started off with heavenly fire, then Jonathan was stabbed and almost died, I feared that Sebastian's family was out to get me, I felt like a million bucks when Sebastian testified by the Mortal Sword and he said he thinks he loves me, and then back down to the low of hearing everything Jace said.

I pull back from Sebastian as I look up to him and offer him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry that I cried...again."

"There is nothing to be sorry about. That could not have been easy to hear." he says sweetly to me.

I shake my head. "No. It wasn't." He bends down and gives me a quick peck on the lips and he stands back up. My mother walks over to us and looks lovingly up at Sebastian. "Can I ask you for a favor, Sebastian?" she asks him.

"Of course." he says brightly to her.

"Clary and I were on our way to eat something in the kitchen when we were called into here. Could you take her and feed her some dinner? Luke has already brought a tray of food up to my room."

He looks down at me as he says, "I will make her anything she wants." He grabs my hand and begins to pull me to the kitchen. I am not going to lie, food sounds pretty awesome right about now. The last thing I ate was the bowl of fruit I had for breakfast. I scoot up close to Sebastian's side as we walk determining that holding his hand is not enough for me tonight. He brings his arm around me and I don't have to look at his face to know that he is smiling.

When we get to the kitchen I ask him if can make me one of those paninis again.

He smiles widely at this request. "Well I did tell the Queen that I would make whatever you want, now didn't I?"

He begins to busy himself with cooking the chicken. "Hey Sebastian." I say to him. He looks up at me questioningly. "Can you bring it to my room and eat with me there? I kinda want to take a shower. I can still feel some of Jonathan's blood on me."

His smile drops at the mention of Jonathan as he says, "Of course." I walk over to him and give him a lingering kiss. As I am walking out, I suddenly remember something. "Oh yeah. Is there anyway you could find me something to wear to bed? Izzy didn't think to buy me any pajamas and I have been sleeping in whatever clothes I had on that day or my undershirts."

"Yeah. I will take care of it."

"You're the best." I say to him and offer him a small wink as I walk out of the room. Izzy doesn't say a word as we make our way back to our hall. I stick my head briefly into Jonathan's room and see him sleeping like a baby with a chainsaw for a nose and then shut his door quietly. I scoot to my door and look back to Izzy. "Sebastian is coming up with our dinner soon and I am about to hop in the shower. Do you think you could let him in if I don't answer the door?"

She smiles a crooked smile at this. "Of course I will let him in." She leans in closer and whispers "Will he be joining you in the shower?"

My mouth falls open and I screw my face into one of mock horror. "Of course not, Izzy. Oh, and by the way, you didn't get me any pajamas." She is stunned for a second as I can see that she is thinking for a second and then she looks back up to me. "Woops." she says with a light smile.

"That's okay." I say to her. "I asked Sebastian to bring me up something for tonight." Her eyebrows raise up at this and she just begins to nod slowly while smiling at me.

"I bet he brings you himself to wear." she says lowly to me as she wags her eyebrows up and down. I just roll my eyes at her and push into my room. I strip off my clothes and leave them in a trail to the bathroom. I hang my bra on the doorknob of the bathroom (because that is where bras go, right?) and turn on the water. When it is warm enough, I step into the water and let it roll over my body. I scrub myself clean of the day's events and take my time washing my hair. When I am done, I step out of the shower and begin to dry off. That is when I realize that I didn't bring any underwear into the bathroom with me and I curse at myself.

I towel dry my hair the best I can and then stick my head out of the door. I look over to the bed to see Sebastian sitting there waiting patiently for me. He looks up to me as I stick just my head out of the door and offers me a smile. Then I see the realization that I am naked cross over his face and then his eyes suddenly change. "Sebastian?" I say sweetly.

He opens his mouth to speak and when no words come out, he clears his throat and tries again. "Yes?"

"Um...I kind of forgot to bring anything into the bathroom with me and..uh..I was wondering if you could turn around for a second so I can get something out of my wardrobe over there?" I point to the wardrobe which is only a few feet away from him. He glances over to it and then back to me. "Of course." He turns around and I begin to step out of the bathroom. He immediately turns back around as I am halfway out of the door and I jump back just as he is about to see me. He realizes his mistake and curses under his breath. "I just wanted to tell you that I brought you one of my shirts to sleep in...if that is okay?"

"That is perfect Sebastian." I tell him. I wait a few seconds this time to make sure he isn't going to turn around again and I walk out of the bathroom quickly. By the time I reach the wardrobe, I am almost within arms reach of Sebastian and I can feel the nerves coming off of him in waves so I decide to have a little fun. "Why are you so nervous, Sebastian? I can feel it coming off of you in waves."

I watch as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "I wouldn't say that I am nervous. More like anxious. You are standing right behind me, naked, and I am trying to think of anything other than that right now."

"Really?" I ask him. "You mean, you're not even thinking about even it a little?" I ask innocently.

"That is all I am thinking about actually. I am not doing a very good job of thinking of anything else."

"I know something you could think of." I offer him. "I'm all ears." he replies. "I was just thinking of what your parents caught us doing last night in the garden." I say lowly to him. I watch with satisfaction as I see his shoulders tense and his body go rigid.

"You, Clarissa Morgenstern, are not being very nice right now." he says with mock seriousness. I let out a huge laugh as I open my underwear drawer and pull out the ridiculously lacy underwear because that is the only thing Izzy bought me, and pull them up my legs. I turn around and grab the shirt Sebastian brought me and as I pull it over my head, I tell him that it is okay to turn around just in time for him to see it fall over my lacy underwear.

I look over my shoulder back at him and he is just staring at my butt. "What is it, Sebastian? You look like you saw something interesting" I offer him a coy yet sexy smile as I pull my long wet hair out of the shirt and let it fall down my back. He swallows hard and then looks up to my face as I can see 'him' jump.

He playfully narrows his eyes at me as I turn around to face him. "You play dirty." he says in his deep sexy voice.

"I never said I didn't." I tell him as I climb up onto the bed and over to one of the plates. I practically inhale the delicious sandwich in a matter of minutes. I lick my fingers clean as Sebastian laughs at me. "What is so funny?" I ask him.

"I just love your shameless appetite. I don't think that will ever get old."

I smile at him and grab our plates and set them on one of the nightstands as I say, "I will remind you that you said that when my appetite catches up with me and I am old and fat."

He gives a small laugh at this and then reaches out to me. He grabs his shirt that I am wearing and pulls me to him. I crawl over the large bed to him, never breaking eye contact with him, and come to rest right in front of him. He is propped up on one of his elbows laying on his side. He brings his free hand that was just on my shirt to tangle in my damp hair and slowly pulls me in for a kiss. His full lips almost swallow mine whole as he drags his tongue across my lips asking for entrance. I open my mouth and then I am pushing him down on the bed and climbing on top of him. I straddle his hips and lay myself down on top of him as we are kissing. His hands reach down and come to rest on my bare thighs. I am very aware that I am only wearing underwear and a t-shirt, but I don't care. I feel completely comfortable with Sebastian.

His huge hands grab my thighs and then they are sliding up and come to rest halfway on my butt and halfway on my thighs. Our kisses become heavier and more urgent and he gives my butt a little squeeze earning an involuntary moan from my lips. He takes this as encouragement, as he should, an he begins to slide his hands up my back, under my shirt. His hands practically swallow my back whole as I am pulling off his shirt. He removes his hands from me as his shirt comes off and I look down at the vast expanse of his chest.

He is the picture of fitness. He has a beautiful six pack that ripples under his skin every time he moves and the runes that cover him look like they were strategically placed to make him even more attractive. I run my hands slowly down his chest and along his washboard abs and trail down to where I can see he has a fairly prominent v-shape that goes into his pants. I bite my lip at seeing this as Sebastian turns my earlier words around on me. "What is it, Clary? You look like you saw something interesting."

I look back up to him and I have never been more attracted to him than in this moment. I love his quick wit and that he is able to keep up with me and doesn't seem to back down from me when I give him shit.

I look into his eyes and then down to his lips and then I am lunging for him again. My lips crash against his as his hands return to their previous position on my back. He slides one hand so far up my shirt, it comes out of the collar of the shirt and onto my neck. My breathing is heavy as he kisses me with expertise. I can tell what he wants to do but I can feel he is scared to do it, so I grab one of his hands and pull it around to the front of me under my shirt.

He lets out a surprised gasp and then a moan as he begins his ministrations. This goes on for a while. He rolls us over to where he is on top, touching my body with surprising expertise. My shirt or underwear never comes off and his pants stay on as well; although I can feel the effect I am having on him. After a good five or ten minutes pass, his kissing slows and becomes gentle as he pulls his hands from out of my shirt. He drags his fingers up and down my bare legs as he kisses me softly.

After a few minutes of this, he lays on his side beside me on the bed and I turn to face him. We lay there just looking into each other's eyes as he caresses my face. "How did I get so lucky?" he whispers mostly to himself. Even though he just got done feeling me up, I blush when he says this. He sees this and smiles blindingly at seeing it. "I love the way your face lights up when you blush." he says to me.

I lean forward and kiss him for a few seconds. When I pull back and look at him, I realize that I don't want him to leave. "Will you sleep in my bed with me tonight?" I ask him quietly. For some reason, I am suddenly nervous that he is going to say no.

A slow smile spreads across his face before he says "Yes. I will go tell James to bring me some sleep shorts." He gives me another peck and then rolls out of bed. While he is sticking his head out of the door, I get out of bed and go to the bathroom and run a brush through my almost dry hair. When I turn back around into the room, Sebastian is in his tiny boxer briefs showing off his muscled legs and tight butt pulling the covers down. I am suddenly hit with the scene in front of me and think 'I wonder how many times I will see this exact scene in my life time'. If things keep going in the direction that they are going, this is only the first of thousands of times that I will see this. And you know what, that idea doesn't sound that bad.

I lean against the door frame as I watch him move around the bed turning the covers down. He looks over to me and smiles sweetly at me as he says, "What is it?"

I smile back at him suddenly flooded with intense feelings for him as I say, "Nothing." and I walk over to him; him in his boxer briefs and me in his giant t-shirt and underwear. I reach up on the tip of my toes and snake my arms around his neck and pull him in for an earth shattering kiss. My lips clash with his roughly as my fingers dive into his hair. My tongue slips into his mouth as both of his hands grab either side of my face as our kiss turns fierce. The emotion that both of us are putting into this kiss is making me feel like my heart has taken up residence in my stomach as a swarm of butterflies replaces the blood in my heart.

The kiss comes to an end too soon as I hear someone knock on the door. He pulls back slightly out of breath and whispers, "What was that?"

I slide one of my hands that is in his hair around to his face and drag my thumb across his lips as I say, "That was me showing you how I feel." His mouth begins to twitch a little and then slowly turns into the happiest smile I have ever seen on anyone's face. My heart gives an unsteady thump at him as he slowly pulls away to the door.

When he turns around to answer it, I slide into bed and throw back the covers for him. He shuts the door with his shorts in his hand and steps into them and then climbs in bed. He lays on his side and I scoot my back into him. He brings one of his arms around my chest and I pull it in between my breasts and hold it flush with my body as I hug it. He slides his other arm under my head and I curl up into a tiny ball (how I always sleep) and he folds his body around mine and I almost disappear into him.

After such a long and emotionally draining day, I am asleep within minutes feeling completely at ease against his bare chest.

* * *

 **-Jace**

The moment I get out of here, I am going to come back from where ever they are sending me, and protect Clary. Even if I have to do it from a distance. They don't understand the depths that Sophie will go to get me back and exact her revenge on Clary for me falling in love with her.

It hurt so bad to see her tonight in his arms. The worst part is knowing that that is where my actions put her. It hurt even worse when I said that I loved her and I could see in her face that she clearly didn't believe me. I swear on the Angel that I _will not_ allow Sophie to lay one finger on her head. And then, when all of this is over, I will make her see that everything I told her was the truth. I don't think I could live with myself knowing that she thought all I wanted was to manipulate her into having sex with me. I am in love with her and she will believe me if it is the last thing I do.

* * *

 **I promise that Jace will be back later in the story in a BIG WAY so don't be too discouraged by his absence. I might throw in few things from his point of view to keep the reader informed.**

 **Till next time, thank you SO much for reading my story.**


	16. Chapter 16

I wake up facing towards Sebastian. My head is still pillowed on his arm and he is laying on his back with his other arm sprawled out. I look up to his face and smile. He looks so peaceful. I lean forward and place a kiss on his chest and then I hear what woke me up. Someone is tapping lightly on the door. I look over Sebastian and to the door. I then roll out of bed and cross the room and open the door to find someone from the kitchen. She is holding a tray of food for two. I open the door a little wider and take the tray from her. Her eyes go big as she looks at me and then she curtsies and then is gone. That is when I remember that I am wearing just a t-shirt and underwear and mentally face palm myself.

I kick the door shut and set the tray of food down and lift up the top to find fruit and pancakes and set the top back down. I look back over to Sebastian and his sleeping form, half in and half out of the sheets and I pick up one of the sketch books and a pencil he bought for me. I sit down and begin to draw the lines of his long body that are sticking out of the sheets. His dark hair is next, followed by the muscular planes of his abdomen. My hand takes over as my eyes flicker from the page to the man in my bed and before long, I am thinking about nothing save the sound of the pencil on the paper. It feels so good to lose myself to drawing. Not having to think about how messed up everything in my life is or think about whatever fight there might be ahead.

A long while passes and I see Sebastian begin to stir out of the corner of my eye. My legs are curled up inside of his shirt and I am in the stuffed chair sitting with the sketch pad propped up on my knees. I am really focused on my drawing now, but I see him look over to where I was last night. When he doesn't find me there, his head snaps up to survey the room and when his eyes land on me, he sighs a deep breath of relief. I see him prop himself up on his elbows as I am concentrating on getting the shading just right below one of his arms. In my drawing, he is sleeping with one leg halfway hanging out of the covers that come up to the middle of his torso. His face is completely unguarded and is halfway turned away from me while his arm is stretched out to the side. He actually looks naked because of how the covers are on him.

I vaguely register him getting out of bed and standing up to stretch. I watch him from the corner of my vision as he starts to walk over to me. I am almost done with my drawing of him when he comes to stand beside me, looking down at whatever I am drawing. I can hear him suck in a surprised gentle rush of air as he looks down at my drawing. That is when I think it is good enough to stop for the moment. I stretch a little and then set my pencil down. He bends over and puts his mouth right by my ear as he says, "You drew me?"

I turn my face into him and he looks at me and I kiss him. "I did. I saw you there and...I don't know. I just wanted to draw you."

He looks back at my drawing and I suddenly feel very self conscious. "Clary, it's incredible. I had no idea you were so talented." I look back to him and he is still staring at the picture as red starts to color his cheeks. I scrunch by brows a little at him and say, "Are you blushing?" disbelievingly. He lets out a little breath and says "You make me feel so completely exposed and vulnerable. Like you actually _see_ me."

"Is that a bad thing?" I ask insecurely. He turns his head at me and gives me a tight smile. "Not at all." he says on an exhale of breath. He closes the small distance between us and gives me a slow lingering kiss that makes my skin prickle with anticipation. He pulls back too soon for my liking and I reach out and set my sketch book down on the desk as he comes to in front of the chair and gets on his knees in front of me. I slide my legs out of his shirt and put them on either side of him as he scoots close to me and snakes his arms around my waist as he leans in to me. I place my arms around his neck and he kisses me gently as my legs slowly wrap around his waist. We kiss slowly and gently for a minute or two; long enough for the butterflies to return.

I pull back and smile onto his mouth as he pecks me gently one more time. I nod my head over to the tray of food in the room. "The kitchen sent up breakfast for _two_. I wonder what is going on in the rumor wheel today? The scandal of the princess sleeping with the Consul's son."

He smiles back up at me as he says, "I would hope not much considering we are technically engaged."

"Technically." I repeat with emphasis and he smiles and nods. I am glad he is taking our 'engagement' with a grain of salt like I am. "There are pancakes and fruit and I think there is orange juice in the pitcher." I tell him. He leans forward quickly and pecks my lips before standing up and heading for the food.

We eat breakfast and when we are done, Sebastian steps out of the room for a second to tell James to send for some clothes for him. He doesn't want to walk back to his room in his sleep short or what he was wearing yesterday as to not start any unsavory rumors about me.

When he comes back into the room, Izzy follows and she has a piece of paper in her hands. I look up to her and then motion to the paper. "This" Izzy says as she holds up the paper in question, "is your schedule." I roll my eyes because I knew this would happen. I had been ushered from place to place since I got here on some invisible schedule that I was not aware of and now she has decided to let me actually see it instead of just telling me where to go. I take the paper out of her hands and look down at it. I have rune studies in an hour from 10-12 then lunch for 45 minutes and then I go to combat training with the Institute's instructor, Diana Wrayburn for three hours. 'Great' I think to myself. Then I have time to shower and the schedule says vaguely, 'royal duties' from 5-6 and then dinner.

This is how the next three weeks go. Most nights Sebastian spends in my room and we eat most of our meals together. He even keeps a toothbrush his guitar and a change of clothes in my room now. My rune studies are going exceptionally well and so is my training. Jonathan was well enough to join me in training on the third day and he was surprised to see how well I was doing. I was able to move really fast and my reflexes were superior to other's. Apparently, Raziel's blood in my veins also made me a good fighter and extremely fast in my movements. I picked up using all of the weapons fairly quickly but I seemed to be especially good at throwing knives. I absolutely obliterated Jonathan at those. My Taekwondo classes thankfully came in handy and before I knew it, I was able to take Jonathan down on a regular basis. Our instructor, Diana is surprised as well at my fast progress.

Today Sebastian was able to join us. Jonathan thankfully took this as his way to escape training for a day and disappeared soon after Sebastian arrived. I sparred with him instead of Jonathan and I was able to pin him twice and he was able to pin me twice. Me, being extremely competitive, challenged him to a tie breaker which he grinned wickedly at. For a while, neither one of us was able to get the upper hand. Sebastian was finally able to pin my hands above me and shove me against the wall pinning my body to it with his. He smiled victoriously at me and says, "And what does the victor get now that I have won?" He arches an eyebrow at me and his eyes are looking at me suggestively. I smile back at him thinking about all the nights we have spent together. How we haven't gone any further than groping and making out and how I want there to be more now with the way he is looking at me. I can see in his eyes that he is enjoying pinning me up against the wall with his body and holding my hands above my head.

His eyes are so focused on thinking about 'other things' that he doesn't feel me take my foot and hook it around his leg. I give my leg a little squeeze and kick the back of his knee making him buckle and I use his unsteadiness to my advantage. I use my other foot to push off of the wall as I jerk my elbows down, making him let go of my hands. I push him to the floor and he brings his arms back to brace his fall allowing me ride him down to the floor and scoot my knees up and use them to pin his arms to the mat. I bring my forearm to his throat as I am straddling him holding down his head while I bring the sparring knife I had tucked in my shoe to his rib cage, ready to 'stab' him.

The look on his face is priceless. His face is a mixture of surprise, admiration, and longing. I lean in close to his face where our noses are almost touching and say, "I can think of a few things I, the victor, wants." My voice is low and suggestive and I can see the fire that is in my eyes mirrored in his. After a few seconds, Diana clears her throat and we both look up to her and offer her an apologetic smile. I hop off of him and try to avoid looking back to him as to not set my horomones raging again. "I think that we can call it a day." she says looking to me.

Diana turns around and leaves the room. As soon as the door closes, Sebastian and I turn back to each other and crash together. He picks me up and pulls my legs around his waist and I am barely able to lock my ankles around his buff torso. He shoves me up against the wall as his hands slide up my thighs bunching the stretchy material of my yoga pants in his hands as he tries to find purchase. Our mouths are hot and wet as they slide against each other and grab at each other.

"Oh! My _EYES_! My _beautiful_ green _EYES_!" Jonathan shouts from the door. He has slipped in the room in his training gear and neither Sebastian or I heard him over our heavy panting.

I immediately unhook my legs from around Sebastian's waist as his hands come to my hips and lets me down off of him and onto the floor. I pull down my shirt from where he had started to slide his hands under it and Sebastian smooths down his hair from where I had my hands dug in. Blush creeps up on my face as I mutter lowly, "Shut up Jonathan."

"Don't you know that you two have rooms you can do that in as to not blind unsuspecting family members?!" He is covering his eyes with one of his hands while the other reaches out in front of him like a blind man as he is walking into the room. "We were just leaving." I say to him as I am walking past my brother. I punch him in the kidney as I pass and he drops his hand and says "Always so violent." as I can hear Sebastian give a small laugh.

I start to head for my bedroom so I can shower and Sebastian runs up behind me and pinches my butt as he runs past and yells, "I'll race you!" I smile widely at this because I am _fast_ with my extra angel blood. In a matter of seconds, I have caught up to him and giggle wildly as I push past him. I arrive at my door a full five seconds before he does. I have just enough time to kick one of my legs up behind me on my door as I lean onto it and hold my hand up to inspect my nails before he comes around the corner. I look up at him and say wonderingly, "Oh... _there_ you are. I was wondering where you went."

He narrows his eyes at me and begins to stalk forward to me to where I am leaning up against my door. "How are you do damn fast?" he says disbelievingly. I shrug my shoulders at him as he stretches his arms out and rests his hands on either side of my doorway as he leans into me, closing me in. "When will you figure out that you will never win in any competition with me?" I say with a smile.

He arches his eyebrows at the challenge. "How about you let me in your room and we can wrestle; best three out of five." The way he says lets me know exactly what kind of wrestling he wants to do. I bite my lip and smile up at him. He begins to lean in for a kiss and I reach back and turn the door knob. Just as his lips begin to touch mine, I push my door open and slip in my room and am able to see his shocked and frustrated expression before I shut the door. "I'll see you back here for dessert after dinner!" I yell through my door. I hear him grunt slightly in frustration and I can just imagine his sexually frustrated face as he walks off and I give a soundless laugh. He has some sort of dinner engagement that he has to attend with his father tonight in Nashville while I am still grounded and stuck here. He promised that he would bring back dessert from whatever restaurant he went to and bring it to my room. But that is not the kind of dessert I meant that he was going to have.

I decided when we were in the training room just a few minutes ago that I was going to sleep with him tonight because that is when I realized I am in love with him. I smile as I say it out loud. "I love him. I love Sebastian Verlac. I am _in love_ with Sebastian Verlac." I giggle a little at the impossibility of the situation that was set before me with an arranged marriage and now...I am in love with him. It seriously couldn't have worked out any better. I was holding on to the excuse of not sleeping with him because I wasn't sure that I loved him. But now, I can't think of one reason why I shouldn't. My nineteenth birthday is tomorrow and I would like to ring in my new year of life with Sebastian. I should feel nervous after making this decision but surprisingly, I don't.

I hop in the shower and take extra time shaving and washing. I then fix my hair the way I know he likes it; gentle waves down my back. I apply a little eyeliner, mascara, and add a little color to my cheeks. I throw on a dress because I have to meet with some official in the Council with my mother. When that is done, we eat dinner in the dining room with Jonathan and Adriana. She has been having a hard time since we found out Sophie was a traitor although I think she likes me a lot. She is always telling me how happy I make Sebastian. We finish dinner and I am in a hurry to get back to my room. I want to talk to Izzy before Sebastian gets back. When I get back to my room, I pull Izzy in after me and take a deep breath as I turn to her and say, "Izzy, I am in love with Sebastian.". The reaction I got was not the one I was expecting. I was expecting her to jump up and scream or suck in a dramatic intake of breath but instead she just says, "I know. And?"

"What do you mean ' _you know_ '?" I ask her.

"I mean, 'I know'. It's written all over your face when you look at him. I have known that you loved him since the night of the Mortal Sword."

"What?!" I say surprised. "But I only just now realized that I am in love with him. How could you know before I even knew?"

Izzy rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically. "Because I have known you your entire life and it was obvious that you were in love with him when you ran to him after he testified by the Mortal Sword."

"But how?" I ask her.

"It was the look on your face when he said he thought he loved you and then the look on your face when you pulled away from hugging him and kissed him. I knew it then." Izzy takes my hand and looks me in the eyes. "I am so happy for you, Clary." I smile down at her and say "Me too. But that is not why I pulled you in here." I drop my face away from hers and look at my hands. "I need help deciding what to wear tonight because..." oh God, this is awkward, "because I am going to have sex with him tonight for the first time."

The reaction she gives me is the one I first expected when I told her I was in love with Sebastian. She jumps up and squeels loudly and claps her hands all the while smiling from ear to ear. "That poor bastard will finally get some relief tonight." she says to me when she calms down. "He can't even look at you without trying to undress you with his eyes. How far have you gone with him so far?"

"Just feeling each other up. Him under my shirt and me over his pants."

Izzy's eyes widen. " _That's it_?" she says in surprise. "No wonder he looks at you the way he does. He has been sleeping here in bed with you for the past few weeks and he hasn't even seen you naked?"

I purse my lips and shake my head no. I know that Sebastian and I are both consenting adults, ages 19 (tomorrow) and 21, and we can do whatever we want in bed, but I can't just sleep with someone I don't love or at least really care about. That's just not 'me'. Izzy stands up and takes me to my wardrobe. I don't want to wear the dress I am wearing because it is too formal. I don't want to wear jeans because I never wear jeans at night with him. It is usually a t-shirt and underwear or shorts. But that seems to casual. We end up settling on a white lacy bra and white lacy underwear and the silky ivory robe that comes to mid thigh that I have only worn a couple of times. That way, I can be covered up when he comes in and not be in just my underwear.

Izzy leaves and wishes me good luck. I wait for the nerves to come for what I am about to do, but they don't. I don't have to wait long, only about 20 minutes, before Sebastian gets back. He does his usual knock a couple of times and then he opens the door and lets himself in. He comes in wearing a very sleek black suit with a slim black tie looking like a page out of G.Q. I am sitting at the desk drawing a picture of the Institute garden and I set the pencil down when he comes in. He doesn't seem suspicious that I am wearing the robe I hardly ever wear and he offers me a big smile.

I stand up and walk over to him and pull him into a deep kiss. His hands come to rest on my waist as I pull away after a few seconds. "I like those kinds of hellos." he says lowly down to me. I see that he has set down a to-go box on the bed. "What did you bring me?" I ask him. "Chocolate lava cake." I smile widely at this. "Like we had when we had our first dinner together." I whisper to him and he nods his head. I give him another kiss and then take the box and move it off of the bed and onto the desk. He narrows his eyes suspiciously at me. "Are you not going to eat it?" he asks me.

"I will later." I tell him. He narrows his eyes suspiciously at me again. Of course it would be me not devouring chocolate cake that would catch his attention. "There is something I wanted to tell you first." I say as I walk back over to him. I place my hands on his suit jacket and hold onto the lapels. I look up into his deep brown eyes as he brings a hand to run his fingers through my hair. "And what did you want to tell me?" he asks quietly.

I take a deep breath and swallow and when I speak, my voice is low and sweet and full of emotion. "I love you, Sebastian."

His hand stops midway through my hair and his eyes widen for a fraction of a second before turning unbearably soft. He brings both of his hands to my face as a beautiful smile spreads across his face and he says, "I love you too, Clary." He leans down and brings me up into the most loving and tender kiss I have ever had. My heart is beating so fast and it feels like it has grown wings and is trying to fly away. I love him and he loves me. I pull away and he wipes away a tear I didn't know had leaked from my eye.

I bring my hands to his chest and slide my hands up to his shoulders and push his suit jacket down and off of his arms and let it fall to the floor. I step back away from him a little ways and I can see in his eyes that he is becoming very suspicious, in a good way, about tonight. I reach down and grab the tie on my robe as I hold his eye contact. I pull on the tie and let the robe fall open to reveal my lacy bra and underwear. He sucks in a quick breath as his eyes break from mine and travel down the length of my body and what he can see through the opening of my robe. I can see the desire light in his eyes from what I am wearing as he swallows harshly.

He nor I say a word as I walk back to him and bring my hands up to his tie and I slowly loosen it and bring it over his head. I then move to his shirt and take my time unbuttoning every button as he strokes the side of my face. I slide my hands up his bare chest and push his shirt down his arms the same way I did his jacket and let it fall to the floor. I then bring my hands to his pants and unbutton those. Before I can push those down, he brings a finger to my chin and pulls my face up. He looks down at me and whispers, "You are _so_ beautiful." as he brings his lips to mine.

We kiss for a minute just standing there and then he is walking me backwards until my legs hit the side of the bed. His hands let go of my face as his lips still kiss mine and slides his hands down to push the robe off of my shoulders. His hands keep traveling lower until he reaches my waist and he picks me up and presses me against his body as he climbs on the bed with me. He lays me down and releases my lips as he begins to slowly kiss down my neck and then to my chest then to the valley between my breasts and then my stomach. He stops and looks up at me questioningly when he sees my new rune on my hip. "I call it the barren rune. (credit The Lady Midnight series) It is like birth control and should last about a year."

He smiles up at me and laughs a small breathy laugh as he says under his breath, "Man, I love your Raziel given gift." He kisses his way back up to me setting me on fire and he whispers to me "Are you sure?"

My heart beats wildly when he asks me this and I say, "Yes." He smiles down at me and then begins to kiss me gently yet passionately. His hand slides around my back and pops the clasp on my bra and then we are chest to chest. I whisper in his ear, "I love you." and he whispers it back and then we lose ourselves to each other.

* * *

We ended up not getting much sleep and I wake up to him telling me happy birthday. When his breath tickles my neck that sends me over the edge again and we don't come back up for air for the fourth time in 12 hours. I sure do love his stamina rune...

When we resurface, we both have big stupid grins on our faces. He kisses me one more time before I see his naked butt streak across the room and dig something out of the back of the drawer in my desk. He pulls out a small slender box that is wrapped in silver wrapping paper and smiles widely as he turns around and walks back over to me. "I am so glad that you didn't find this. I stuck it there two days ago." he says as he climbs back in bed and pulls the covers up to his waist. "Happy birthday baby." he says in a loving whisper. I lean over and give him a kiss as I sit up and tear open my gift. Under the wrapping paper is a slender box like a bracelet would be in which is why I am surprised when I open it and see what it is. Inside the box is the most beautiful stele I have ever seen. I pick it up (I was finally able to figure out how to control the glowing) and turn it over slowly in my hand. It is silver and has very intricately carved flowers on a vine. It must have taken someone who knows how long to carve something so intricate.

I look over to him with tear threatening to spill out of my eyes and just smile in awe at him. He is smiling back at me, thrilled to see that I like it so much. "Sebastian." I say breathily. "I absolutely _love_ it." I set it down on the bed next to me and then swiftly push him down onto the bed and climb on top of him. "But not as much as I love you." I say to him. He gives me the most glowing smile and says, "Say it again." I lean down and kiss him and when I pull back I whisper, "I love you." He pulls me in for another kiss that I can tell is going to lead to something else as his hands slide over my body when I hear my brother's booming voice yell "Happy birth...Oh my _EYES_!"

Sebastian and I jerk our heads to my door to see that my brother has just let himself into my room without warning. I slide off of Sebastian and pull the covers up to my neck as Jonathan continues screaming. "My beautiful green _EYES_! They're _burning_! Mom, back up! Don't come in!"

My eyes fly open wide as I shout "Mom is out there?" and he pushes his way back out of the door. I put both of my hands over my face as I say "Oh my gosh." into them. I feel the bed shaking and I peek out of my hands to see Sebastian silently laughing. He looks over to me and says through his breathy laughs, "At the rate he keeps walking in on us, he will be blind by the end of the week." A smile spreads across my face as he says this and I am soon joining him in laughter. He abruptly stops after a few seconds as a grim looks takes over his face. "What's the matter?" I ask him.

He swallows as he turns to me. "What do you think your brother will do? He just saw his baby sister in a 'compromising position' with me...naked." He looks worriedly at me. I just give him an empathetic smile. Poor Sebastian. He is worried that Jonathan will be mad and try to fight him. "Don't worry about him. He is too afraid of me to do anything to you." I give him a quick reassuring kiss and then flip the covers off of me.

We roll out of bed and quickly slip some clothes on. When I go to open my door, Jonathan is still there with his hand over his eyes. "Is it safe?" he asks holding out his other hand as if to feel where to go. I slap his hand down and tell him to just come in. He peeks through his fingers and sees that I am fully dressed. He walks in and I suddenly see my mother standing behind him with one eyebrow raised questioningly at me. I blush a deep scarlet and she smiles knowingly at me as she walks into my room.

I push the door shut and turn to see Jonathan coming to stand in front of Sebastian and neither one of them is attempting to make eye contact with one another. They are both looking _anywhere_ but at each other. Sebastian clears his throat and drops his deep voice even lower as he says in his most manly, yet non confrontational voice, "Jonathan." My brother returns the sentiment with his most deep and manly, yet non confrontational voice, "Sebastian."

I bring my hand up to my face and think to myself, 'Could this be anymore awkward?' That is when my mother decides to speak up. "I am assuming, Sebastian, that you have already given Clary her gift from you?"

I watch as my brother's eyes open wide and Sebastian's face drains of all it's blood and he becomes as white as a sheet and he suddenly can't make eye contact with anyone in the room. "Yes mom, he already gave it to me." I say to try to make the situation less awkward but I just end up making it worse as Jonathan says under his breath, " _Oh_ , he gave it to her, alright."

I move quickly to the bed where my stele is and grab it quickly. "Here it is!" I say brightly; desperate for a subject change. I hand it to my mother and she smiles brightly at it. "Wow. It really _is_ beautiful, Sebastian." she says lowly. "Jonathan," she looks to him, "why don't you give Clary your gift now?"

He nods and then shoves a box at me as he says, "Happy birthday, Clary." I don't dare make eye contact with him and I open the present. It is a leather bound sketchbook that has 'Clarissa Morgenstern' engraved in the bottom corner. "Thank you, Jonathan." I tell him and then reach up and give him a peck on the cheek. I turn to my mother then who looks over to me and Sebastian. "And my gift," she says to me, "is that I am letting Sebastian take you into the city tonight so you can have a 'real' date."

I look to her as my face picks up and I give her a big toothy grin. I have been _dying_ to get out of here. "Thank you _so_ much, Mom!" I say as I wrap her in a big hug. She pulls back and kisses me on the forehead.

They leave soon after and Sebastian leaves to take a shower while I take one myself. The day passes quickly and before I know it, Sebastian delivers a dress for me to wear tonight. He tells me that Izzy helped pick it out so don't worry too much about it being ugly. I open the box to find a short green sleeveless silky type dress. It has a plunging neck line and it comes to my mid thigh and hugs my curves perfectly. The color of green really brings out my eyes and when my hair and makeup are done, Sebastian is actually stumbling over his words trying to compliment me. I take pity on him and walk over and kiss him. He looks amazing tonight as well in a black sleek suit with a white button up shirt underneath that. It is unbuttoned to the second button and is showing just the right amount of his chiseled chest.

The next thing I know, he is sweeping me away into the back of a limousine (he says so we can have some privacy) and there is literally a convoy of cars around us. We make out the whole way to the restaurant and eat our dinner in a very private part of the dining area. Our guards are dressed the part of patrons as well and sit at the surrounding tables of our own private booth. When dinner is done, we slip back into the limo and Sebastian seems to become extra quiet. I sit snuggled under his arm for a while when the silence becomes too much. I look up to him and put my hand on his face. "Babe? What's wrong?" I ask him.

He looks down at me and offers me a nervous smile. "Nothing at all." he says to me. "I am just nervous."

I scrunch my brows together in confusion as I say, "Nervous? Why are you nervous?"

"Because of what I am about to do." He turns his body to me and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring. Not an engagement ring, but a ring. He looks at it and then up at me. "Clary, I know what the treaty says. It says that by law, we have to be married." I swallow hard at what he is saying and my heart speeds up to a rate I didn't think was possible. "But I don't want to force you to marry me if you don't want to. I want you to marry me because you love me and you want to do it." He takes my hand in his. "I love you, Clarissa, and I want to marry you and I am asking you now, if you would do me the most extraordinary honor of marrying me?"

I look up into his eyes and I can see the vulnerability in them as he waits for my answer. In the matter of milliseconds, a million thoughts run through my mind as I try to process all of the pros and cons. The cons are the fact that I have only known him for little over a month. Me just realizing that I was in love with him last night...and that's it. The pros are that I will unite my race. That our parents would be thrilled. The treaty would be upheld. And then there are my personal reasons. He is kind and loving and smart and funny and witty and gorgeous and...and...I am completely in love with him.

I look up to him after that millisecond passes and smile brightly at him as I say, "Yes. I will marry you." He gives me his most blinding and happy smile yet as he pulls me into him and kisses me passionately. We come up for air after a minute or two and he brings the ring he pulled out earlier and holds it in front of him as he shows it to me. "This is my family ring. This insignia is a water serpent which is the Verlac family crest of sorts." He looks up to me and pulls my hand forward. "Will you wear it for me?"

I smile at him and kiss him and when I pull back I nod my head yes. He begins to bring the ring to my hand when we hear a loud ' _Pop_ " and the limousine starts to swerve back and forth. I grab onto Sebastian and he holds me still and keeps me from tumbling all over the back to the limo. The car finally comes to a stop and I look back up to Sebastian as his face becomes tense. Then we hear people shouting and car doors shutting. "What is going on?" I ask him. "I don't know." he says quietly back to me.

I press my face close to the glass and that is when we hear the fighting begin. There are angry shouts and the sounds of grunts and clashing metal. Sebastian looks worriedly down at me and says, "It's okay. I won't let them touch you but we have to move. We have a flat tire and we need to move to another car."

I put my game face on and nod stiffly to him. "I am going to open the door on the count of three and then I am going to step out first. You then get out and move in front of me so I can cover your back and run to the car behind us, okay?" Just then, someone is thrown against the limo and we hear them fighting.

"Okay." I say to him. I reach up the hem of my dress to where my thigh sheath is and pull out the two throwing knives I put there before we left and leave my stele tucked in place; one of my mother's conditions. Sebastian pulls out a wicked looking dagger and knife. He looks back to me and gives me a quick hard kiss and then turns to the door. "One...two...three..." He swings open the door and immediately stabs an Asmodei in the neck who was clearly waiting for us. He pulls me out of the limo and shoves me in front of him and then I am running. I take notice that we are on a two lane road completely surrounded by trees with not a human soul in site and the Asmodei are _everywhere_.

A female Asmodei comes running at me holding a dagger above her head and just as she reaches me, I duck down and flip her over me where she lands on her back and I don't even think about what I am doing as I bend down and stab her in the heart. I pull my knife back and turn around to see Sebastian fighting with some guy. After a few tense seconds, Sebastian stabs him in the spine with his dagger and pushes him to the ground. He looks over to me and yells "Run!"

"Not without you!" I yell back at him. That is when two Asmodei run in between me and Sebastian and turn their attention to me as Sebastian is engaged in another fight. I can see Izzy behind him swinging her whip with expertise in a fight with some giant guy as she is nervously glancing at me. The two Asmodei say something to each other in some harsh and guttural language and slowly start to move forward. I take notice of their red runes and they actually hurt my eyes to look at. 'I am not ready to take on two attackers' I think as they move towards me. Every time they take a step forward, I take one back. They are smiling wickedly at me and I can hear Sebastian yelling my name in a panic. They are trying to separate me from my protection and Sebastian and they are doing a wonderful job of it.

Just when I am about to release my first throwing knife, I hear a motorcycle roaring as it gets closer and closer. I want to look back to see who it is but I am afraid to take my eyes off of the two Asmodei. I hear the tires screech to a halt not too far from me and then I see a knife impale itself into the head of one of the Asmodei. I take this opportunity to throw one of my knives and hit the other guy dead center in the heart. They both fall to the ground and I see all of the fighting going on. This was clearly an ambush. I look on in panic as I see Sebastian expertly fighting a big warrior and I can see that Sebastian is bleeding from his abdomen.

I start to run to him when a hand grabs me from behind. I spin around with my knife in my hand ready to stab whoever has me when another hand stops the advance and I hear a familiar voice say, "Stop trying to kill me and _come on_!" I turn around to see Jace looking tensely down at me. "Jace?!" I say completely taken by surprise.

His eyes suddenly dart behind me and I turn to see another Asmodei warrior running towards us from where he broke away from the fighting. Jace shoves me behind him and takes off walking swiftly to meet the warrior where he makes quick work of him. A few swipes with Jace's sword and the Asmodei is relieved of his head. I look up to see Sebastian looking to me and we lock eyes. Three Asmodei then run in between me and Sebastian as he is engaged in another fight. I can hear him yell at the top of his lungs, "Get her out of here, Jace!"

" _NO_!" I yell at him as the Asmodei pull out their weapons and move closer to us. "I won't leave you, Sebastian!"

"Jace!" he yells glancing to us. "Get her out of here _NOW_!"

Jace grabs me by the arms and start to drag me to his motorcycle. I try to pull away from him so I can get to Sebastian but he just wraps his arm around my waist and picks me up with that one arm as his other is holding a sword. "I can't leave him, Jace!" I yell to him.

"Clary, he will be fine, but _we_ have to go! You are not safe here." Jace says emphatically to me. He picks me up and puts me on the back of his motorcycle as my dress rips up the side because of me having to straddle it. Jace takes out the Asmodei that was brave enough to charge at him and then throws a knife into the leg of another one and then he hops on the motorcycle and then we are flying down the road; my hands secured tightly around his waist.

* * *

 **Jace to the rescue!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I know that a lot of you are upset about Clary and Sebastian's relationship. I get that. But it is also pivotal part of my story. Clary is just trying to make the best of the situation she has been dealt with and will someday have to make a choice and I don't think it will be an easy one. I can't just have her start to fall all over Jace when she isn't even sure of who he is without the possession rune on him. She has to get to know him and that is what I will be exploring now that she has a chance to get to. I want this story to be organic and that sometimes takes time to do, so please be patient with me. I will do my absolute best to not let ya'll down.**

 **I so truly appreciate everyone of you who reads my story. I put a lot of time and effort into it and making it as real to life as possible and I am grateful that you read it. I really mean it and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Jace accelerates at an unbelievable pace. I have to grab onto his belt so I don't go sliding back and off of the bike. I don't know how fast we are going, but it can't be less than ninety miles per hour. "Jace!" I yell into his ear. "We have to go back!"

He turns his head slightly to the side and yells, "We're not going back!" over the rushing of the air.

" _JACE_! Take me back _now_!" I yell with authority. "I am your crowned Princess, now take me back!"

I can't hear his laughter but I can feel it. His chest and stomach are heaving up and down as he turns his head and says loudly, "Look who went and got all high and mighty over the past few weeks."

I glare at him even though he can't see it. "Take me back! That is an order!" I can feel his chest shake up and down softer this time. "No way, _your highness_."

I glare so hard at him and growl with frustration. "Then where are you taking me?" I yell back over the sound of the motorcycle accelerating as we turn onto a busier street. "I am going to take you back to the Institute. I don't feel like incurring the wrath of Sophie _and_ your mother." he yells back.

"Smart boy." I say petulantly back to him. I can feel him laugh again and I am getting annoyed with his jovial attitude. "Why the hell are you laughing so much? I don't find any of this remotely funny."

He turns his head back as he yells, "You are what is so funny; not the situation."

"Well I am so glad that at least one of us is getting a kick out of me and my fiancee getting attacked." I say snarkily at him. I can feel him stiffen in response to my words and then it is silent for a while between us. After about ten minutes we turn down another road and he turns and yells "We're almost there!" I exhale a big sigh of relief and then I see something flash in front of the bike. Jace slams on the brakes as I see Asmodei running out of the tree line that is along the road. Someone throws a knife at my face and I duck just in time for it to fly over my head. I can hear Jace swear loudly and then the bike is burning out in a vicious turn to go back the way we just came. "The Asmodei were waiting here for you!" he yells back at me. "They were going to ambush you no matter which way you came back." I turn my head back to see about 20 Asmodei running after us. One of them throws a knife at my back but Jace accelerates again and within a second, we are out of it's reach.

"What are we going to do now?!" I yell at him.

"We are going to find somewhere to stay the night!" he yells back. This revelation makes my heart pick up. I have to spend the night with Jace. Jace who put a demonic rune on me. Jace who took my virginity. Jace who I have such conflicting feelings for. Jace who said that he loved me. "Isn't there another way to the Institute?" I ask in a slight panic.

"No." he yells back. I don't say another word to him until we pull into a cheap motel. The ones where the doors are on the outside of the building. He pulls into a parking space and kicks out the stand. I let go of the death grip I have on his belt and he hops off. "Why are we here?" I ask him nervously.

"This is where I have been staying." he says nonchalantly. He then produces a key from his pocket and holds out his hand for me to get off the bike. "I thought you were being sent somewhere else." I say matter of factly. He turns his gaze up to my eyes and my heart leaps in my chest at the look on his face. "I ran away to come back here. I knew that you needed someone on the outside to look out for you."

I narrow my eyes at him. "I don't need any more people 'looking out' for me." I say indignantly.

"Well apparently, you did." he says back to me and shoves his hand at me again. "Now, come on and go inside. The less time we are out in the open, the better."

I want to shove his hand away and get off of the bike by myself but I don't think I will make it in this dress. The side seam is already ripped almost all the way up to my hip. I angrily shove my hand into his while glaring daggers at him and lean heavily on it as I get off the bike. Something about my action puts an amused smile on his face. "What is so damn funny now?" I ask him.

He looks back up to me and smiles with humor as he says, "You are so stubborn. I saw you contemplating whether or not to take my help getting off of the bike."

I look down angry that he was able to read my face so well and say, "Was not." with a pout. This earns me the crooked smile of his and I have to look away from him. He begins to walk and I follow him to a door on the ground floor. He slides the key in and pushes his way into the room and I follow after briefly considering making a run for it. I am wearing some strappy heels and I would just probably break my ankle. When I walk in, it looks like no one has been here. The bed is perfectly made and there is not one thing out of place. "Are you sure this is your room?" I ask him.

"The key worked, didn't it?" he replies as he turns his back to me and he takes off his black leather motorcycle jacket. He is wearing a tight white t-shirt underneath and I can see his runes all over his body under the thin fabric. I unwillingly remember his body under all of his clothes and my body betrays me as I shudder a little at the memory. He turns around and sees me standing awkwardly by the door hugging my elbows. "You know, you don't have to stand there all night." he says with a small playful smile on his lips.

"I am standing here because I have noticed that there is only one bed and two of us." I say to him. He looks back at the bed as if he is just realizing this and he looks unsurely back up at me. "You take the bed and I will sleep on the floor." he says looking at me.

I look nervously at the bed and then back at him. "Can't you just get me a room by myself?" I ask. I know what his answer will be, but I had to ask.

"I am not letting you out of my sight." he replies sternly.

"Can't we just go back, now? Surely they are gone by now. I have to get back to Sebastian. I don't even know if he is okay or not."

I can see his jaw flex when I say Sebastian's name. "We are not going anywhere tonight." he says without emotion. He now sounds closed off and angry. "I can send a fire message to the Institute to tell them that I have you and I am sure someone will be here to get you in the morning."

I gesture down to my green dress and say, "I don't even have any pajamas. My dress is ripped all the way to my hip and I can't exactly sleep in it. Not to mention my shoes are highly inappropriate for anything other than a date."

I watch as his eyes rake down and then back up my body slowly and when he speaks his voice is shaky and unsteady, "I can lend you a shirt and shorts to wear."

In a matter of seconds, the atmosphere in the room has changed. We were both on edge and snippy and now...it is tense. After he looked at me that way..."Okay." I say to him. He walks over to the dresser in the room and opens the top drawer to reveal perfectly folded and stacked clothes. He grabs a white t-shirt and some shorts and walks across the room to me and hands them to me without looking in my eyes. "I will go into the bathroom while you change. Just yell when you are done." He turns and walks to the bathroom and shuts the door.

I practically collapse onto the bed. I sit on the edge harshly and bring my hands up to my face. 'How did this night go so bad, so quick' I think to myself. I go from the happiest moment in my life to fighting for my life and not knowing if my fiancee is alive or dead. I didn't realize I had begun to cry until I felt big fat drops fall onto my hands. I suck in a ragged breath and make a choking sound with my voice as the tears continue. I hear the bathroom door open and Jace says with concern, "Clary?"

I bring my hands back to my face and wipe the tears from my eyes and I snap at him. " _What?!_ "

His voice is closer when he speaks again. "Are you okay? You sound like you are crying."

"So what if I was, crying? I was just attacked and separated from my fiancee and this is the worst birthday _ever_!" I say like a petulant child as the tears return. "Today is your birthday?" he asks me.

"Yes. Today is my birthday. It went from the best birthday ever to the worst in a matter of seconds and now, I am stuck in a hotel room with you." I am getting angry now the more I think about it. I was so happy just moments before when Sebastian proposed to me.

I can feel the bed dip with his weight as Jace sits down on the other side of the bed from me; clearly giving me space. "I'm sorry your birthday turned out so bad." he whispers to me. I wipe a tear away from my eye as I slowly stop my crying. I can tell Jace wants to come closer to me to try and offer me some comfort but I am thankful that he doesn't. "Can I get changed now?" I say to him. I look over to him and he purses his lips and nods as he stands and disappears back into the bathroom.

I pull myself together and unzip my dress down the side and slide it off of my body. I look down to the barely there black bra and underwear that I wore for Sebastian for later tonight and I suddenly want to cry again. I hold it together this time and slide Jace's shirt over my head and it smells like him. I suck in a deep breath before pulling the shirt down off of my face and then mentally kick myself for it. I shouldn't have that reaction to his shirt. I pull on the shorts and they thankfully have a draw string which I tie as tight as I can. "Okay." I say looking to the bathroom.

When Jace comes out, he is in a similar pair of shorts and is _shirtless_. My eyes widen fractionally and they involuntarily dart down to his v-shape at the bottom of his abdomen and then I jerk my head back the other way, but not before I see Jace's face turn up slightly in a smile. "I want to send a fire message to Sebastian." I say to him. I look back to him and all traces of amusement on his face are completely gone. He purses his lips and nods to me and grabs some paper from the nightstand and tosses it to me without a word or a glance. I pick up the pad of paper and take out my stele.

 _"Sebastian, I really hope this gets to you and I hope that you are okay. I am worried sick about you since I saw you hurt and bleeding from your abdomen. Please tell me you are okay. I am safe for now but I really don't want to be here. I want to go back to the Institute but Jace says that the Asmodei have all of the roads blocked. Please let me know when it is safe to come back. I miss you. I love you. Your fiancee, Clary."_ I add the fiancee part in there because I know it will make him smile; me declaring I am his.

I fold it a couple of times and I draw the correct fire rune and think of Sebastian as it burns away from my finger tips. I reach my hands up the legs of my shorts and slide the stele back into place in my thigh sheath and then turn around when I hear Jace brushing his teeth. I take one of the blankets off of the bed and place it at the corner of the bed for Jace and I put one of the pillows next to it as he comes back out into the room. He looks up to me and says "Thanks." stiffly as he looks at the blanket and pillow. I just nod my head at him and look away. I climb onto the bed and pull down the sheet and slide in. I pull the sheet all the way up to my neck and just lay there with my eyes open. I can hear Jace moving around in the room behind me. When I still hear him a few minutes later, I roll over to see what he is doing.

His back is to me and there, on the dresser, laid out perfectly in a row are an array of weapons. Daggers and throwing knives, a kindjal and a couple of swords, and numerous seraph blades. "Why are you laying them out like that?" I ask him.

He turns his head slightly to the side when he speaks. "I want to know what I have left and I want to have them easy to grab if I needed to."

"You know, I am not as easy to kill as you think." I say recalling what he said about me while holding the Mortal Sword.

He turns completely around and gives me a crooked smile. "Is that true?" he asks disbelievingly.

I sit up in bed completely and look at him with resentment at his under estimation of my skills. "I have been training since you left and apparently, Raziel's blood also makes me a quick learner and a good fighter. My reflexes are quicker than a normal persons and I have become relatively efficient in most weapons with my specialty being throwing knives. I've bested the trainer over ten times now." I fold my arms across my chest indignantly. "So, no, I am not as easy to kill as you think."

He smirks as he turns around and grabs five throwing knives and extends them to me. "Oh yeah?" he asks with a challenging smirk. "Prove it."

I take the knives from him as I get out of bed and look to him. "Throw something for me. I like moving targets." Jace smiles widely at this and picks up the T.V. remote and suddenly throws it across the room. As it is flying through the air, time slows down for me. It is like it is happening in slow motion. I pick up a throwing knife and throw it and impale the remote into the wall above the bed and smile. Before I can turn to him and brag, he throws an ashtray at me and the knife that leaves my hand slices right through the cheap glass. He picks up the channel guide and tosses it in the air and my knife pins it to the ceiling. This is all happening in rapid succession and I can't help but give a victorious smile halfway through as he throws a matchbook at me and I pin it to the dresser and then he surprisingly throws a dagger at me and I block it with my knife and then throw the knife at him and it nicks his arm as it flies by.

He looks surprisingly down at his arm and reaches up to touch the small amount of blood that wells up across the cut. When he looks back up at me, I am smirking victoriously at him and he is wearing an expression of surprise. "I can even take down Jonathan and Sebastian when we spar. It drives Jonathan crazy." I say smiling wickedly at the memory.

Jace lets out a small laugh as he says, "I don't believe you."

My mouth falls open and I look at him feeling insulted. "Did you just call me a liar?" I say as my voice raises in shock that he said he didn't believe me.

Jace stands up tall and folds his arms across his bare chest making his muscles ripple. "Yes, I did." And that is when I lunge at him. He tries to dodge me by turning to the side, but I saw the beginning of the movement and corrected my course and caught him by surprise, knocking him against the dresser and rattling all of the weapons with my forearm to his throat. He brings his hands up and shoves me back onto the bed where he begins to jump on top of me and I tuck my neck in and roll backwards and onto the floor on the other side of the bed. He looks up at me surprised and then lunges and grabs me just below my butt, around my legs, and pulls me back to fall onto him. I fall onto his back, my face a little too close to his butt, and punch him in the kidney in quick succession while I bring my knees up and knee him in the face. He lets go and I move like lightning and jump onto his back with my knee jammed onto the back of his neck, pinning him to the bed. I am about to celebrate my victory when he snatches his arm free from my grasp and sweeps my knees out from under me and then pushes me onto the bed as I fall from him from where he knocked my support from me. He somehow grabs my wrists as he hops on top of me and pins my back to the bed and he leans forward over me.

He is smiling from ear to ear and looking down at me victoriously when I push my hips up hard and he goes flying forward, landing on his back on the floor. I grab onto his wrists from where he had me pinned and use the momentum from his fall to pull me down on top of him and I land, straddling him with and imaginary knife to his throat. Now, it is my turn to smile victoriously down at him. I lean forward and get about two inches from his face as I whisper, "I win." and I see new founded admiration and respect form in his eyes. We are both breathing heavily from exertion and suddenly the mood in the room changes again. His eyes darken and his smile grows softer and a little sexy as I am still straddling him on the floor and my face is just inches from his. His eyes look down to my lips and then I am pushing off of him.

I see his face fall a little as he purses his lips. "I'm sorry. I should have gotten off of you sooner." I say embarrassingly to him as I turn away and put my back to him. I hear him push off of the ground and grunt a little as he says, "You might not be as helpless as I originally thought."

I am about to come back with a snarky retort when I see a blue burning piece of paper appear out of mid air. "Sebastian!" I say with excitement as I grab it from the air as I turn around. I notice that Jace's face changes and I can see him closing off whatever part of himself he allowed me to see. I look at the folded paper and I immediately recognize my name on the front and the half-messy/half-neat handwriting of Sebastian. I smile widely as I open the paper and it reads,

 _"Thank Raziel you are okay, Clary! I was afraid Jace was going to make good on his promise and take you away. I am fine. It wasn't that bad of a knife cut to my stomach and Izzy healed me with an iratze. I miss you too, baby. I am so mad that I didn't get to give you my family ring."_ I smile a little smile as I subconsciously touch my ring finger _. "The Asmodei have completely surrounded the Institute and we think it is because they don't want us to come after you and bring you back. They want you out there so they can find you unprotected. We have called Magnus in to take down the wards on the inside so you can portal back, but there is no way of knowing when he will be able to make it here or even if he will able to get in. Your mother, myself, and my father a trying to come up with a plan to break a whole in their line so we can either come after you or you can be brought here. I am so sorry this happened. I shouldn't have risked you like that. Please forgive me. We will send another fire message when we have a plan. I love you more than anything. Your fiancee, Sebastian."_

I clutch the paper to my chest and close my eyes as I try not to cry and fail. Jace walks over to me and I can sense him standing in front of me. "You know, I actually _am_ starting to take it personally." I open my eyes and look questioningly up at him. "You said once that you were wondering when I was going to start taking it personally that you always cry when you are with me."

There are million reactions that I want to have to his statement. Anger, violence, indifference. But all of those get thrown out of the window and I end up laughing. A slow smile unwillingly creeps across my face and soon I am laughing hysterically. I peak through my eyes to see Jace's face alight with amusement as he lets out a few chuckles. "Well, you should take it personally at this point." I say through fits of laughter and I hear him really begin to laugh. His laugh is warm and inviting and full of life. After a minute or two, I stop laughing as I sit back onto the bed and look at the paper that is still in my hand. "They said that the Institute is completely surrounded by Asmodei and that they think they want me out here and vulnerable so they can find me and kill me more easily. They are going to try and poke a whole in their line and either send someone to get me or make it to where I can be brought back to there. They are also trying to make it to where I can portal back inside of the Institute."

His brows furrow as he says "Portal?" questioningly. I mentally kick myself because he didn't know I could do that. I look sheepishly up at him and say, "I can make portals." He seems to think about this for a second and then a smile spreads across his face. "Is that why you were able to put the heavenly fire in me and your hand glows?"

I look up at him and say "Yep." popping the p sound. "I am a freak of nature."

His brows furrow angrily and he looks directly into my eyes with this intense gaze as he says, "No, you are not. You are a miracle amongst our people." I can feel the blood rush to my face as he holds me with his intense gaze. I drop my head and play with the hem of his shirt that I am wearing. "So," I say trying to break the serious mood in the room, "what are we going to do about clothes for me? If I am going to be here a while with you, I can't run around wearing your clothes."

He looks to me in mock hurt as his hand flies to his heart. "What is wrong with my clothes? I thought I was very fashion forward." He holds his hands out and pretends to be looking into the distance thoughtfully as he says, "I was going for the 'bad boy' look. The kind nice girls go for to have a bit of fun. I want their parents to think when they see me 'he looks like he would burn our house down for kicks'."

"Wow. You really read a lot into what I was saying." I say to him with exaggerated surprise. "I only meant that they obviously don't fit me." I motion down to his insanely large t-shirt and shorts that are on the verge of falling down. He looks down at me wearing his clothes and he looks like his mind is drifting somewhere other than the here and now. "At some point, we will have to leave this room to get food, because you probably won't leave me alone," he puts up his hands and interrupts swiftly by saying, "Not a chance." before I continue, "and I can't exactly walk around like this and I can't wear that green dress because if it rips any further, it will expose my underwear."

He seems to take what I have said seriously as he furrows his brows in thought. "Maybe we can run to the superstore a few miles down the road in the morning and stock up on provisions. The Asmodei are probably trying to flush you out right now and I think early in the morning would be a good time. They will be tired and probably be wanting to just take a break and sleep."

"And we can get some food, because if I don't eat," I pat my belly, "the alien that lives inside of me gets angry and will growl menacingly until he is satisfied." I say this with the utmost seriousness.

The looks he gives me when I say this is hilarious. He looks at me like he is trying to decide if I was just kidding or if I was serious and I need mental help or if there really is an alien inside of me. Anything is possible at this point with my glowing hand. He arches an eyebrow as he studies my stomach and that does it for me. I am rolling with laughter because I can't keep a straight face anymore with him looking so petrified.

I double over in laughter as I fall onto the bed. "Your face..." I say pointing to his face as it morphs even more into one of concern. I am positive now that he thinks there actually is an alien in my stomach. "is priceless!" I laugh a bit more. "Don't worry, Jace. I'll tell it not to hurt you." I roll over onto my stomach as I laugh some more. When I peek back up at him, his arms are folded in mock anger.

"I did not find that funny, Clary." Jace says seriously. "I was genuinely afraid for my life."

I sit up and I stick my bottom lip out in a pout as I say talking like a baby. "Awww. Poor wittle Jacey-poo. Did the mean ole' princess scware you?"

He narrows his eyes at me and bends over to meet me at eye level. When he does, he is only about six inches away from my face. "You couldn't scare me if you tried. I was just worried that the stress of the night had finally gotten to you."

I reach up and pat him on the cheek gently with my hand as I say, "Sure you did, Jace." His eyes don't break contact with mine as I do this and then the mood suddenly changes again. The air becomes thick and my breathing unwillingly becomes shallow and...why can't I look away from his golden eyes? I can see that whatever is affecting me is affecting him as well. "Jace?" I say almost in a whisper.

"Yes, Clary." He replies in the same tone.

"I think I am going to go to bed now. I am really tired." I lie flawlessly. I just really need him to drop his gaze so I don't do something stupid and rash. He blinks rapidly as his face changes and he stands up and says, "Of course. I should probably turn in too." He doesn't even look at me when he says this. He just walks over to the side of the bed and spreads out the blanket on the floor and then lays on it and wraps himself up like burrito with the rest of the blanket.

I scoot back onto the bed after watching him and slip under the sheet and reach over and turn the light off. It is quiet for a minute or two before Jace speaks. "Clary?" he asks quietly trying to see if I am asleep yet. "Yeah, Jace?" I reply. "I just wanted to say thank you for freeing me of my possession rune. I realized after they took me away that I never thanked you." His voice is laced thickly with gratitude when he says this.

This is _not_ what I was expecting to hear from his lips. "Your welcome." I say back to him after a moment of stunned silence.

"Oh, and...uh...happy birthday." Jace adds on unsurely.

"Thanks Jace." I say back to him before the room falls silent and I eventually fall asleep with the picture of his golden eyes on the backs of my eyelids.

* * *

I feel a hand on my arm. "Clary. It's time to get up." Jace says in a soft voice. All of last night's events come rushing back to me and I bury my head in my pillow. "Clary?"

I roll over to face him and when I open my eyes, his face is a lot closer than I expected. Like a _lot_ closer. Only a few inches. The closeness surprises me and I let out a big startled scream. He was clearly not expecting that and I, in return, startle him with my scream. Jace jumps back and trips over his pillow on the floor and lands awkwardly on the dresser. We both stare at each other for a second before we both start to laugh. I pull the covers over my face as I laugh and I listen to his laughter and think of how it reminds me of a warm sunny day when it's not too hot and you could walk for miles and never break a sweat.

My laughter and his quiets after a while I pull the sheet back down to see him smiling at me. "Come on, sleepy head. We have to go and get some food before that alien jumps out and takes a bite out of me. I am incredibly delicious looking."

I roll my eyes at his words and my mouth quirks up a little at the side. "I am glad to see that you have still retained your ego after being demonically possessed." I say to him.

"There are some things that not even being possessed can erase," he gestures to himself, sweeping his hands up and down his body, "and that is my stunningly attractive physique."

"... _and_ your ego." I add on. He gives a tiny smile at this and then nods his head to the bathroom. "I put some of the smallest clothes I have in there for you. You should get changed and we should go before it gets too late." I give him a nod and then hop out of bed. He is already dressed in a plain black t-shirt and jeans. I drag my feet all the way to the bathroom and pull on the grey training pants and white t-shirt and I tie it in a knot in the back so it will fit me better. I slip out of the bathroom then to find him holding flip flops. "Flip flops?" I ask him. "You don't seem the type to wear flip flops."

"I'm not. But I am also not the type that likes to get a foot fungus from the seedy hotel shower." He holds them out to me. "You can't wear those heels with those sweat pants. It would _totally_ clash."

I huff out a tiny laugh and take them and slide them on my feet as I say, "Riding a motorcycle in flip flops should be interesting."

He grabs his black leather riding jacket and helmet and opens the door for me as we walk outside to the bright morning. He holds out the riding jacket and helmet to me and I tilt my head in confusion. "You should wear these." Jace says while looking at me. "It is my job to protect you which is why you should put these on."

I roll my eyes and take them from him. I slide the jacket on and zip it up. I look up to him and motion to the incredibly over sized jacket that is hanging on my body. "I look ridiculous." I say to him. He looks down at the jacket and I can see the wheels turning in his head as he looks back up to my face. "No, you don't." He says quietly. "You look...cute." I can tell by the look on his face that he wanted to say something else. Like something a boyfriend would say when you put on his clothes. The reason boys like it when you wear their clothes is because it is a sign of ownership saying that 'yes, she is wearing my clothes because she was sleeping in my room last night and not yours'. It is like a sign of them marking their 'territory' from other potential suitors.

I put on the helmet before I can do anything stupid like blush at him looking at me that way and then wait for him to get on the motorcycle. He swings his leg over and then looks back at me waiting for me to climb on. I walk over and swing my leg over and then, because I have no other option, wrap my arms around his waist and grab onto his belt. When he lifts up to kick start the bike, I can feel his muscles ripple on his abdomen and I can't help but remember how he looks without a shirt on. The next thing I know, he is accelerating too fast and I clutch onto him harder, pushing myself into his back.

We get to the store in a matter of minutes and end up getting me a pair of jeans and a couple of cheap t-shirts and some slip on sneakers and then grab a bunch of junk food and a deck of cards for entertainment and then we make our way back to the hotel. I eat my breakfast that we got from the store (dry cereal) and then go and change my clothes, thankful to have something to wear other than his giant clothes. When I come out of the bathroom, I see Jace sitting on the bed dealing out the playing cards in two stacks. He looks up at me and smiles as he says, "What do you say to a game of war?"

Damn my competitive nature. I smile wickedly at him and say, "You are going down." as I hop onto the bed in front of him. I, of course, end up killing him in a game of chance which is what 'war' is and I hop up in a victory dance as I take his last card from him. As I am doing the classic 'cabbage patch' move, he looks up at me and gives me an entertained smile as he says, "Wow. You really are an amazingly bad winner."

"And you are just mad that I kicked you ass again at something that you thought you would win at." I maturely stick my tongue out at him because I am an adult. He finds this funny and begins to laugh. "Oh yeah?" he says speculatively at me. "What about that game where I rest my hands on top of yours and you try and flip them over and slap them before I can pull them away."

I smile wickedly at him. "Were you not listening when I told you last night about my highly superior reflexes?"

His lips quirk up the corner of his mouth in his maddeningly sexy crooked smile as he says, "Oh, I heard you. I just don't think that they are all that superior to mine."

I smile my devilish grin back at him and say, "Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong." I sit back down on the bed in front of him and scoot close while folding my legs under me. I hold out my hands, palms up, and look into his eyes. "I don't even need to look down at our hands to defeat you."

His face lights up with the challenge. "Then don't." he says smirking. I keep my eyes on his as he rests his hands gently on top of mine and I return his smirk. I twitch my hand gently and smile in satisfaction as he jerks his hands away while mine stay in place. He narrows his eyes at me playfully and part of his mouth turns up in a challenging smile. I twitch my hands again but this time, he doesn't fall for it like I planned. He raises one eyebrow at me as to say 'did you really think I would fall for that again?' and I smirk because I didn't. That is when I strike. I pull my hands out from under his and bring them up to smack the tops of his and to my utter shock, he grabs my hands with his and I lose.

My eyes widen in shock as I begin to register defeat (an unfamiliar feeling to me) and then my face tightens with annoyance at him making me feel the sting of losing and then he is beginning to chuckle. I snatch my hands back and break our eye contact for the first time in minutes and fold my arms across my chest because maybe, just maybe, I am a sore loser. His laughing gets louder and my glare at him gets more pronounced.

"You look like you just sucked on a lemon!" Jace laughs as he falls back onto the bed.

"I do not." I say quietly with an indignant tone as he starts to laugh harder. He then sits straight up and folds his arms across his chest and then screws his face up into a sour expression as he says, "This is exactly what you look like."

I can't help but laugh at him and I release the tense expression on my face and chuckle a little at myself reluctantly. He has made my laugh reluctantly a lot in the short amount of time that we have been in this hotel room and I am suddenly hit with a wave of attraction towards him. Not just at the way he looks, but to his personality. The 'real' Jace. I suddenly want to see more of the 'real' Jace and I want him to open up to me for some reason. I look at him and see the way his genuine smile lights up his face and the way his eyes sparkle with amusement. There is something slightly different about them from when he was possessed. They look more...alive. His eyes crinkle and the lines that spread from them give me a glimpse of what he will look like when he is older. That is when I realize I am staring and he is staring back with this look of longing. "Tell me about your parents." I say suddenly. I don't know why I asked him about his parents out of the blue like that and I completely expect him to shut down my question. That is when I am surprised when he begins to tell me about his childhood.

He tells me about growing up going to the beach in Florida every weekend with his mom. How his dad showed him the importance of fighting for our race. "He always used to say that we, our generation," he gestures between us, "were either going to be the last generation of our kind or the new beginning of it. That even though he was raising me here, I should never forget that Idris was my true home."

He told me about his mother and how gentle and kind and loving she was. How she softened the hard shell of his father and turned him into a romantic fool when the two of them were alone. How he was grateful for her making him learn how to play the piano because the music helped him see the world differently. How if you just rearranged a few notes here or there, it could make the music turn into something completely different and how he thought that the same theory could be applied to other things in the world. That if you could find just the right combination, you could create something so beautiful and perfect.

I listened to him for what seemed to be hours. It intrigued me how he was so completely different than who he portrayed himself to be. This cocky and arrogant and confident persona was just the wall of defense that he built around himself because he was afraid that if he let himself care about someone, that he would lose them the way he lost his parents to the Asmodei. A part of him was still this scared little boy who watched his parents die and who still blames himself for not being able to stop it.

"You know it's not your fault, right?" I say to him when he tells me about the days after his parents were killed. "Your mother told you to hide because she wanted you to live. To carry on our race because she knew you would grow up to be an amazing man who would help unite our people and lead them back to our home." I reach out and touch his hand. "I can see that too. I can see what she saw in you; especially now that you are fully yourself. I can see why Sebastian spoke so highly of you and why he was so hurt when he found out about you coming back and seeing his sister. He feels bad that he didn't notice the difference in you and blames himself for it." I lean forward a little. "I like the 'real' you better than the possessed you. You seem more alive this way. More real and true."

The look he gives me as I am telling him this is one that I have seen before from him except this look is more believable than when the first time I saw it. He is looking at me the way he was looking at me when we were laying under the stars. Like I am the only thing he sees when he closes his eyes at night. Like I am the only star he can see in the sky.

"Clary." he whispers to me.

"Yeah, Jace." I say back to him in the same hushed tone.

"How can you see right through me the way that you do? It makes me feel like I can't hide anything from you and like I don't even want to."

I let go of his gaze and let my head drop to face the bed. I see his hand come up to my chin and then he is gently guiding my face back up to his. "Don't be embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed." I say back to him. He looks slightly confused and then asks, "Then why did you look away?"

I shrug my shoulders and lie. "I don't know." I certainly can't say it was because I was starting to have feelings for him and I was afraid that I would do something stupid like lean in to kiss him. No, that would not be a wise thing to admit to anyone; especially myself.


	18. Chapter 18

_I shrug my shoulders and lie. "I don't know." I certainly can't say it was because I was starting to have feelings for him and I was afraid that I would do something stupid like lean in to kiss him. No, that would not be a wise thing to admit to anyone; especially myself._

I scoot back away from him on the bed and clear my throat. "So, tell me about when you got assigned to Sebastian. He told me that you two became friends pretty quickly."

Instead of answering my question, he looks at me thoughtfully and asks me one. "What else did Sebastian tell you?"

"He told me that you are the one who taught him how to pick up girls."

Jace smiles widely at this. "That boy was absolutely clueless when it came to the ladies. I felt so bad for him."

I look at him a little disbelievingly. "Oh come on. He couldn't have been that bad. He seems like a pretty smooth operator to me."

This is exactly what Jace wanted me to say for some reason. "And that is all because of me."

"Wow." I say to him. "Either your ego knows no bounds or you just want to take credit for some of his natural ability to woo unsuspecting girls."

Jace folds his arms across his chest and leans back onto the head board of the bed. "Alright. I bet I can guess exactly what he did to woo you; the unsuspecting girl."

I smile a challenging smile at him and say, "I'm all ears."

"Okay," he says clapping his hands together, "let's start when you met this smooth and debonair Sebastian. I will bet my life that he held your eye contact and wouldn't let go until you looked away, or blushed, knowing you."

I think back to when we met and I had no idea who he was. When I looked over to him, I do remember him holding my gaze as he walked over and even when he bowed and kissed my hand. I eventually blushed and looked away. I narrow my eyes at him and he takes this as confirmation and he smirks knowingly at me as he continues. "And then I will bet he did something to disarm you. Make you feel more at ease in the uncomfortable and awkward situation you were thrust into."

I then think about our first dinner together and him pulling me out of the dinning room and from all of those watchful and expectant eyes. "Yes but, you didn't teach him how to make me feel so special the way he does." This admission to him is obviously not something he wanted to hear so he quickly changes the direction of the conversation.

"Yes, well, you should have seen him the first time I had him try to pick up a girl at a party." I can see him remembering that day as he looks at the wall behind me seeing nothing. "He couldn't put two words together without coming off as a creep." He laughs a little and I lean in interested to hear more about Sebastian before I knew him. "It was his first party and I had only been with him for about two months when I drug him with me to it. There was this cute brunette that he kept watching and I kept encouraging him to go talk to her because I had no idea just how hopeless he was with the ladies. I told him to make eye contact with her and not let go until she did. What I didn't tell him, and I should have, was to not tilt his head downwards and look up at her through his lashes while pulling his brows together like he was concentrating. He looked like one of those creepy guys that would follow you through the supermarket while breathing heavily."

I give a small laugh and shake my head. "No way was he one of 'those' guys."

"Oh, he was. And that wasn't even the end of it." Jace says as he continues with the story. "After creepily watching her through the crowd, I told him to wait for her drink to need a refill and then appear with a fresh drink for her and introduce himself." I nod at Jace with approval that this would be a good move. "So when he saw that she needed a refill, he went and got her a fresh drink and walked over to her. He introduced himself as Sebastian and then he held out the drink for her to take almost shoving it in her face because he was so nervous and said, 'I made this drink _specially_ for you' in his deep voice and then tried the whole eye contact thing where he widened his eyes and looked down at her creepily." Jace chuckles heartily at the memory. "She turned and ran and I am positive she thought he was trying to roofie her with his comment of how he 'made this drink _specially_ for her'."

I smile at this and laugh a little. "It is hard to imagine him struggling so much when he is so smooth now. The only thing I kept thinking the first time we spent a little time together was how smooth he was."

Jace smirks and puts his arms behind his head portraying arrogance as he says, "I am like the Yoda of picking up the ladies and Sebastian was like my Luke Skywalker. Little, he knew, about the ladies until he met me." Jace says in a fairly decent immitation of Yoda. "I could pick up any lady at anytime and anywhere."

"Oh come on." I say disbelievingly at him, "You have to give us women some credit. Surely you could not pick up any girl anywhere at anytime."

He arches an eyebrow at me and says, "Do I feel a challenge coming on?"

"And how do you suppose we could accomplish such a challenge with just the two of us stuck in this room?"

He walks over to the window and opens the curtain and points to a fairly attractive woman who looks about twenty years old pulling some luggage out of her trunk. One of the pieces being a guitar. She has obviously come to Nashville to pursue her dream of music. He points to her. "I will bet you that I could pick her up in under five minutes."

I scoff loudly at this. "Ha!" I say dramatically. "We will see about that." I stand up off of the bed and grab him by the shirt as an idea pops into my head and I smirk devilishly at my genius. I open the door and have the satisfaction of seeing his confused expression before I shove him, _hard_ , out of the room. I see the aspiring musician look up at the sudden movement coming from our door. "You lying dirty _BASTARD_!" I shout loudly at him as he continues to hold the confused look on his face. "We have been together for _two years_ and you cheat on me when I go to work and you don't even have the _DECENCY_ to throw away the used condom before I get back!"

That is when realization crosses his face and he looks at me with utter surprise at my dirty antics and then it morphs into an expression of appreciation at my deviousness. "And this isn't even the first time this week that you have gotten caught! I am done with you Jace! You have broken my heart too many times." I say choking on my words dramatically. I step back into the room where the girl can't see my face and as I am shutting the door, I look at him with a knowing look as to say, 'you said any time and anywhere, Yoda' and smile evilly at him as he looks at me with false murder in his eyes.

I slam the door shut and do a little celebratory dance in my head because there is _no_ way that he will be able to dig his way out of the hole I just put him in. I walk over to the window and crack it open just a little so I can hear what he is going to do. It is quiet for a few seconds before I hear him say, "I am sorry you had to witness that." sounding ashamed.

I can hear her say, "No. That's okay." sounding uncomfortable at witnessing such an intimate part of someone's life. Jace continues to speak saying, "I tried to forgive her for cheating on me with my best friend over and over again, but I just couldn't." 'That jerk' I think to myself. He is going to try and turn this around on me. There is a hint of sadness and desperation in his voice and I peek through a crack in the curtains so I can see the face that goes along with his voice. His shoulders are slumped and he looks completely dejected.

"She just kept pushing me away and would constantly compare me to my best friend and after a while, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know how to end it with her so I was a complete asshole and tried to make her dump me because a part of me is still in love with her." His voice cracks as he says this and he puts his face in his hands and I see the girl's brows furrow slightly in pity at him. 'Holy shit' I think to myself as I see the expression on her face. She actually feels sorry for him. Jace still has his hand covering his face as she steps forward and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. He chokes on his words some more as he says, "You must think I am a complete asshole from what you just saw. I would if I were you."

I watch in amazement as she steps a little closer to him and slides the hand that was on his shoulder, onto his back, and she begins to rub comforting circles on it. "You don't need a best friend who would sleep with your girlfriend and you certainly don't need a girlfriend who would sleep with your best friend."

Jace still has his hand covering his face and sniffles like he is trying not to cry. He is such a sneaky little bastard. "That is what my mom said, but I was just too in love with her and didn't see her for who she really is. I guess I didn't _want_ to see it. And now, I don't even have my best friend to talk to about this."

I can't believe it. I can see on her face that the girl is actually buying it. "My name is Holly and if you need someone to talk to, we can go somewhere and maybe have a cup of coffee...or you could just stop by here."

Jace wipes away his non-existent tears and smile sadly up at her and holds out his hand. "My name is Jace and I just might take you up on that offer. I could use a friend right now." I watch in utter amazement as she takes his hand and shakes it with a smile spreading across her face. He looks to her luggage and says, "Where are my manners? Let me help you with these." He smiles his most charming smile at her and she blushes and looks down away from his insistent eye contact as he bends to pick up a particularly large piece of luggage. When he stands up, he turns and looks at me peeking through the tiny crack and raises an eyebrow as to say, 'challenge accepted and completed' as he disappears into her room.

I shut the curtain angrily at watching him be able to pick up a girl so easily _and_ he did it in less than five minutes. I thought for sure that there was no way that he would be able to recover and pull it off after what I said about him being a serial cheater. I come to the conclusion that one of two things happened. Either he really is _that_ good or she is just really that stupid. Either way, I have lost the challenge I set before him and now I will never hear the end of it.

Jace finally appears ten minutes later sneaking into to the door quickly and shutting it behind him. He turns around and smiles the most maddeningly victorious smile at me. I roll my eyes as I reluctantly start to slowly clap for him. He gives a flourish of his hand as he bows and takes credit for his performance. "I hate to say it, Jace, but you just might me the Yoda of picking up unsuspecting ladies."

He straightens up as he smooths down his shirt. "I might have done it a little too well. I barely made it out of there with my clothes on."

I laugh a little and then point to the door. "If you wanted to go and have a little fun with poor ole' Holly, I am sure I could survive a few minutes on my own."

The look he gives me when I say this is the look you give someone who just told you Santa Claus wasn't real. His hopes look like they have just been crushed and I don't know why. "I don't have any interest in her." Jace says reassuringly. "I just wanted to prove my point to you. I don't like her."

"Are you sure? Because, like I said, I wouldn't mind if you went and got some sympathy loving from her." I lie to him. I really just want him to go and do it so I can put to rest any feelings of attraction I have towards him. I don't want the confirmation that I really did like Jace instead of blaming it all on the rune.

He looks down at me with a look of dejection on his face as he says, "No. I do not want to get 'sympathy loving' from her. I am not like that anymore. Not since..." He stops midsentence like he was about to say something he didn't want to say.

"Not since what?" I ask him. He turns around and says "Nothing. I have to go to the bathroom." and he walks to the bathroom without a backwards glance at me. I am not stupid. I know what he was about to say and I have two reactions to it. One reaction is my heart pounding faster and my insides sparking with excitement. The other reaction is one of horror as I am in love with Sebastian, _my fiancee_ , and I don't want to feel anything towards him at all. I just know he was going to say, 'not since I met you.'

When he comes back, I have turned on the television and am watching a telenovela. Jace turns around to face the television and his face screws into one of confusion. "Why are you watching a spanish soap opera?" he asks me.

"Because, you can't change the channel without the remote," I point to the remote and remind him that I threw a knife at it, "and we no longer have one. So, here I am. Watching a telenovela."

He kind of smiles a little as he looks at the actors are on the screen. There is a woman wearing an evening gown in the middle of a farm and a man in overalls is holding the reins to a donkey while another woman peeks from behind a fence wearing a maid's uniform. "What do you think they are saying?" Jace asks me as he sits on the bed next to me facing the television.

"I have no idea but from what I can gather, the lady in the evening gown is pretty pissed at that donkey and the guy is seeming to take the donkey's side." I summize.

Jace looks at me and smiles. "How about you be the lady in the gown and I will be the guy with the donkey?" I look to him a smile because this sounds like it should be fun. "Deal. But who will be the ass? If anyone should be the ass, it's you, Jace." I say playfully. He takes this in stride and then takes the challenge. Within a few minutes, we have decided that the guy is leaving the woman in the gown because she wears evening gowns to the farm and the donkey is being held hostage for ransom from the farm hand so he can pay the insane credit card bills that the woman racked up while buying all of the ridiculous gowns. The woman that is hiding behind the fence is secretly waiting for her chance to kidnap the man in the overalls and have her way with him while riding the donkey. And apparently, Jace says the donkey is petrified of the man in overalls because he makes little donkey evening gowns and makes him model them for him.

I am hysterically laughing at the donkey saying something about not wanting to wear heels because all of his donkey friends will make fun of him when I hear a knock at the door. Jace immediately jumps up and I can see him put his serious face on as he grabs his sword from next to the bed. He moves quietly to the window and very sneakily pulls it back to see who is at the door. His shoulders relax as he sees who it is and turns around to me. "It's Holly. I knew I was too smooth for my own good." he mutters to himself.

I stand up and push him aside gently as I make my way to the door. I look back at him and whisper, "Take off you shirt and pants." His eyes widen in surprise and confusion and I say, "Just do it." and he quickly obeys. I mess my hair up with my hands a little and pull one arm out of my shirt, letting it ride up to expose part of my bra and one side of my body and unbutton my jeans. I hear her knock a little louder this time and I fling open the door and say with a little attitude, "Can I help you?"

Holly looks at me a little surprised by my appearance and then I watch as her expression seems to become determined as she begins to speak. "I just wanted to come over here and say that you really messed up a good thing with Jace by sleeping with his best friend. He seems like a great guy and I am going to go on a date with him later this week so you really missed out. I will treat him so good that he won't even remember your name when I am through with him." She looks down at me like I am the scum of the earth and she is expecting me to be jealous of her.

I smile up at her and suddenly feel sorry for her that she fell for Jace's scheme hook, line, and sinker and then I motion into my room. "That's funny that you should say that because he just got done yelling my name over _and_ over again." She pokes her head in the door and I turn to see Jace in his boxer briefs walking very arrogantly over to me with a smirk on his face. He stops next to me and swings his arm over my shoulder and winks at her.

I turn back to look at poor Holly who looks completely dumbfounded as her mouth falls open. Her brown eyes dart between the two of us who are the picture of calm, and she turns towards her room and stomps off. I swing the door shut and turn around and fall into Jace as I begin to laugh hysterically. He brings his hands to the top of my arms as he begins to laugh too. I pull back and look up at him and say in between fits of laughter, "Poor Holly never stood a chance against Jace and his out of this world charm!" I wag my brows up and down willing him to get my horrible joke. "Get it? Out of this world charm...?"

I see the light go off in his head and he drops his face into one of his hands as he says, "That was possibly the worst and corniest joke there ever was." Even as he says how bad my joke was, I can see him starting to laugh. "Yeah," I say playfully, "but you know you liked it." He lets out another huff of laughter at my awesome joke before he says, "I had no idea I was _that_ good. That she would take it upon herself to defend my cheating ways."

I shake my head in disbelief while I say, "I have to give it to you. I had no idea you could be so convincing about making me out to be a whore who would sleep with your best friend."

He raises his hands up in defense. "Hey," Jace says haltingly, "I had to work with the hand I was dealt. It wasn't my fault that you turned out to be such a ho-bag." That is when I see his eyes dart to my exposed barely there black lacy bra and then down to the little bit of the same underwear that is peeking through my unbuttoned pants. He sees me notice him looking and tries to play it off. "Nice bra and panties combo." he says as he motions vaguely at my body while locking eyes with me. That is when I realize he is still in his underwear and I hastily shove my one arm back in my shirt as the mood in the room becomes a little too sexually charged for my liking and I think about my Sebastian. "Well I didn't wear them for you."

He drops my gaze and the smile he was wearing falls as he bends over to pick up his pants and slides them on. The mood shifts again and becomes unbearably uncomfortable. "Can we just take a walk for a minute?" I ask him. I just really need some fresh air to help clear my mind. Jace seems to think about this for a second and then he gets a smile on his face as I can see an idea forming inside of his head.

"How about you make us a portal and we can go anywhere you like...as long as it is not a public place where you could be spotted." He arches one eyebrow at me waiting for my response. "I have always wanted to travel by portal." Jace says like a kid would say how much he wanted a toy from the toy store.

"Do you really think that is a good idea?" I ask him. "I thought it was only safe for me if I stay hidden."

"And you will stay hidden because we won't go to a place that is public."

I try to think of a place that I could go while I try to push down the panicked voice of my mother telling me not to toy with my abilities and show them off...but I really need to get out of this room in such close quarters with Jace. It is getting around dinner time and I really don't want to eat the cold soup from a can that we bought. "I think I know of a place." I say thoughtfully and I pull out my beautiful stele from my pocket. I walk over to the wall and place the tip of the stele to the wall and begin to draw. When the rune is finished, I step back and look at Jace. His eyes are wide with surprise and wonder as he watches the simmering blue get bigger and bigger until it is roughly the size of a doorway. He looks over to me and the look in his eyes makes me slightly uncomfortable. It is like he is looking at some sort of miracle that is the fruition of all of his dreams.

I smile back shyly as he says, "You are incredible." lowly and slightly out of breath. The way he said that also makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't like the feelings that he stirs up when he looks at me that way and says things that way about me.

"No, I'm not." I say trying to diffuse the feelings I have. "I am just someone who happens to have a hand that glows and the occasional ability to draw something cool." Jace smiles a hard smile at me and is about to say something else when I motion to the portal. "It won't stay open forever. Take my hand and clear your mind so I can direct us where to go." He nods and smiles as he takes my out stretched hand. I expected him to hold my hand like you would hold a child's hand while crossing the street. Instead, he slowly slides his fingers into mine and laces them together slowly the way a boyfriend would do. He looks down at our hands and smiles a genuine and warm smile and I have to look away.

I pull him to the portal and I step in, holding tightly onto Jace. The swirling of the portal is disorienting and I land unsteadily inside of a closed bakery. Jace lands a millisecond after I do with his hand still in mine and sways a little. "It's a little disorienting isn't it?" I say to him. He looks at me a smiles widely. "That was amazing!" he almost shouts. The look on his face is the look Jonathan would get on Christmas morning. Pure anticipation and excitement and like he wants to do it again.

"I am glad you liked it." I say, returning his contagious smile. I turn and gesture to the dark bakery. "This is the bakery that my dad would always take me and Jonathan to whenever he took us into Nashville for the day. They open at like five in the morning for breakfast and they close around three in the afternoon so they can do it all over again." I look around to the old chairs stacked on top of the tables and the mismatched tables. The front windows have those metal shutters pulled down over them. "It isn't anything fancy but they have the best croissant sandwiches that will make you want to slap your mama for not ever making anything like that before."

I start to walk further into the store and that is when I realize that I am still holding Jace's hand. I deftly pull my hand out of his as I point to the croissant sandwiches in the glass door fridge. I don't look at him when I do this but my hand feels warm and tingly when I let go and I have to flex it to try and shake off the feeling. "They keep the sandwiches in there." I walk over to the fridge and my stomach begins to churn at the thought of eating one of these glorious sandwiches. I look back to Jace who is walking slowly over to where I am with this look on his face. His hands are in his pockets and he is watching me with a sort of wistful look. His lips are upturned ever so slightly into a tiny smile and his eyes are swimming with an emotion I have seen before when he was possessed Jace. Except this time, the look is more authentic and more natural and more believable. It is the look he gave me when he told me he loved me just before he took my virginity.

He locks his eyes with mine and I suddenly feel trapped. His eyes refuse to let mine go as he walks slowly over to me and my adrenaline spikes to an uncomfortable level. My heart begins to hammer in my chest and I become hyper-aware of everything about him. His muscled chest. The way his arms flex when he moves them. The way he smells and the way his hair always looks neatly disheveled. He is only a foot in front of me now and neither one of us has said a word or broken our eye contact. I see from the bottom of my vision him bring his hand up and I can feel when his finger tips trail lightly across my face and he pushes the hair that was in my face behind my ear. I don't know why I haven't stopped him or stepped away. His fingers are trailing down my jaw when he whispers, "Clary." and my heart jumps when he says my name like that. Like it is the only word he will ever say again. My mouth is hanging slightly open and my breath is coming shallowly. He looks down at my lips and he begins to lean in to kiss me. Right when his lips are about to touch mine, I see a blue flickering light just behind him. It's a fire message.

My eyes fly open as I say "Sebastian." with surprise. Jace immediately tenses and halts his advance as I slip out from underneath his hand on my face and I move just in time to catch it before it hits the ground. I turn around to face Jace and hold up the fire message to him but he is still frozen in place where he was just a few seconds before with his back to me. I stand there for a second as I watch him take a deep breath and stand up straight to turn around and face me. I hold out the fire message to him and say, "He sent another fire message. Maybe I can go back tonight." As excited as this prospect makes me, it seems to do the opposite for Jace. His eyes drop and his posture falters as he says dejectedly, "Maybe."

I look at the folded paper and smile at Sebastian's familiar handwriting. I quickly open the piece of paper and begin to read.

 _"Clary, are you okay? Magnus called and said that there was portal activity in Nashville. Was it you? Are you still in hiding or has Jace made good on his promise of kidnapping you and trying to win your heart or have you bound and gagged him yet because he wouldn't shut up about how good looking he thinks he is?"_ I smile a little at his joke and how well he seems to know Jace. I can also tell he is worried about me developing feelings for him because he knows how I thought I felt when he had put the rune on me. _"Anyway, I think we might have a plan for tomorrow night. Your mother and I have barely slept a wink since I got back and I don't think I will be able to until you are in the bed next to me. God, I miss you, Clary. I miss seeing your beautiful smile and your touch on my face. I can barely function without you here."_ I touch the paper as I give a sad smile at his words. _"Write me back and tell me that you are okay. You are my heart and soul and I can not live without either of those, so please keep yourself safe. You have my life with you. I love you, Clary. -Sebastian."_ I look down to the bottom of the page and see some more writing. _"P.S. If we can see your portal activity, then the Asmodei probably can to. Please be safe."_

I touch the paper one more time and I look up to see Jace leaning very casually against the counter, taking a bite out of one of the sandwiches and his face is completely closed off. Where his face was vulnerable and open and honest before, it is now hard and closed off and the picture of indifference. I smile weakly at him and hold out the paper. "Sebastian said they think they have a plan for tomorrow night." I say to him. I can see him trying to play it cool but I see a little spark of something light, deep in his eyes.

"Tomorrow night?" Jace asks indifferently and I nod my head. I can see him relax a little at this news and I realize that he was worried that he would have to take me back tonight.

I walk behind the counter to look for some paper to write him back. "I am going to let him know I got his message." I say as I find a pad of paper. I set it out on the counter and take out the stele Sebastian gave me and I begin to write.

 _"Sebastian, I am perfectly fine and I have only had to bound and gag Jace once to get him to shut up talking about himself. And don't worry about what Jace said. You know that you are the only person who has my heart. After all, I did agree to marry you. We portalled to get some food because I got hungry and we didn't have any food in the room. Just let me know about whatever plan you and mom have cooked up and I will be game for it. All I want is to get back to you. I miss you so much too. Please try to get some sleep. I want you to be well rested when I return so I can properly thank you for such an amazing birthday dinner. Wink, wink."_ I know he will know what I mean by that. _"I love you, Sebastian. I can't wait to feel your arms around me again. -Clary."_

I fold the paper up and write his name across the front and then draw the correct fire rune on it and watch as it burns quickly and disappears. I smooth my face out and turn back around to Jace whose face has let go of some of its indifference and he smiles weakly at me and he says, "Now where were we?" My eyes widen fractionally as I suck in a small startled breath and I see him push off of the counter and begin to walk towards me. I look up at him and say, "Jace." unsurely as he smiles mischievously at me and then produces a sandwich from behind his back and offers it to me. I let out a relieved breath as he watches my face change from whatever it was before to one of relief with a hint of disappointment. I would be lying to myself if I said that a part of me didn't want him to kiss me. A part of me wants to know if the feelings I had towards him were real of if they were all just a lie. But at the same time, another part of me tells me that I really don't want to know because I may not like the answer I get.

I take the sandwich he is offering me and I unwrap the plastic wrap off of it and I smile down at it. "Mmmmm." I moan as I close my eyes and smell the amazing scent of fresh croissants and freshly sliced ham and turkey. I take a bite of it and it is still as delicious as I remember. "I open my eye and look at Jace who is looking at me, clearly amused by my reaction to this sandwich. "This is way better than the cold soup we had planned for dinner."

Jace smiles widely and says, "These are some pretty bad ass sandwiches. Although," he turns around and begins to walk to the pastry part of the store and looks thoughtfully at an assortment of desserts, "I am more excited by these delicious looking brownies over here."

"There are brownies over there?" I ask excitedly. "They always run out of brownies early in the day because that is what they are famous for." I walk around the counter and stand next to Jace and sure enough, there are a whole plate of brownies staring back at me. "I am forever grateful to you Jace, for finding these delicious little squares of heaven." I jump over the counter and open the door to the back and pull out the whole plate and set it on the counter in between me and Jace.

He reaches down and is about to pick one up and I slap his hand away. "Hey, what was that for?" he says with mock hurt.

"You can't have that one. That is the best looking one there is." I say to him like he should know this.

He smiles back at me and says, "I know. That is why I want it." and he goes to reach for it again and I slap his hand away again. "Jeez. I forgot how violent you can be." he mutters under his breath.

"No way. That brownie is mine." I say lowly to him, daring him to try and reach for it again.

"I have an idea." Jace says with a wicked smile on his face. "How about we thumb wrestle for it. Winner gets the brownie."

Damn him knowing I can't turn down a good competition. "Deal." I say and I hold out my hand onto the counter and assume the thumb wrestling position. He looks me straight in the eye as he brings his hand up and takes mine. "That brownie is going to taste so good." Jace says evilly to me.

"In you dreams, maybe." I say challenging back at him. "One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war, begin!" I shout as his thumb darts out and misses pinning my thumb by a fraction of a second. Neither one of us yield as I almost pin him twice and he almost pins me once. Just when I think I have the upper hand and strike, I realize that I have fallen into a trap he has set and he pins my thumb as I begin to shout, _"No!_ This can't be happening!"

He counts to ten while holding my thumb in place and then lets go with a smug smile on his face. I look down at the perfect looking brownie and I don't want to let it go that easily. I reach out quickly and snatch the brownie and hold it close to my body as his face turns from victorious to surprised. He levels his eyes at me and drops his voice. "I do believe you are holding _my_ brownie."

I smile wickedly at him. "It looks like the brownie in question is in _my_ hand so I would have to say that it is now _my_ brownie."

"I will not give up so easily on _MY_ brownie." Jace says challenging me with his tone. "I suggest you give it back to me before I take drastic action."

I lock eyes with him as I slowly bring the brownie up to my mouth and take a slow big bite out of it and say, "Mmmmmm. This really is the best brownie on the whole plate."

Jace places his hands on the counter. "That's it!" he says loudly as he begins to heave himself over the counter and I step away so I can make an escape. "I _will_ have my brownie back even if I have to pry it from your tiny glowing hands." I smile and laugh as I turn on my heels and take off running. I can hear him behind me as he bumps into the chair I knocked down from the table and I giggle wildly at my evil genius. I peek back at him and see him pursing his lips at me in appreciation and a hint of annoyance. I make a circle around the bakery and hop up onto the counter we were just standing at and I look down at him as he come skidding to a stop a little in front of me. I look down at him from my perch and I make a show of taking another long slow bite of the brownie as I rub my belly and say, "Mmmmm."

He lunges forward and tries to wrap his arms around my legs and I jump in time to avoid his grasp. I jump backwards and before I can even land, Jace is sliding across the counter and lands directly in front of me. I look surprised up at him and then pull the hand that is holding the brownie behind my back and he begins to walk me backwards against the wall. "Give me...my brownie." he says lowly to me. I shake my head no and smile mischievously at him. "Either you hand over the brownie willingly, or I will have to take it from you."

"I'd like to see you try." I say back to him and he smiles hugely at my words. "I was hoping you would say that." Jace says sexily to me and I gulp. I try to take a step backwards and I run into the wall. Jace's arm darts out and wraps around my waist and he pulls me flush against his body as his other arm slides along the length of my arm that is holding and no matter how far I stretch out my short arm, he will still be able to reach further with his long ones. As he holds me to his body so I can't escape, I am looking up at him nervously and I feel his hand close around the one holding the brownie and he slowly, one by one, gently pries my fingers loose and then slides the brownie out of my hand and into his.

If I thought he was going to let go of me when he had the brownie, I was sorely mistaken. He looks down at me and brings the brownie to his mouth and shoves the rest of it in his mouth while pressing me against him. "Mmmmm. You were right. This is the best brownie." Jace says to me. I watch as he chews it up and swallows it, seeing the muscles in his neck, and I really should step away. I drop my gaze and clear my throat as he begins to return my intense staring and I pull away from him. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am in love with Sebastian and I am going to marry him. "We should get back." I say quietly as I am walking away. I refuse to turn around and look at him.

That is when I hear someone speaking outside of the front of the store. Jace is suddenly beside me and is listening intently. His eyes widen immensely as whispers, "We need to go. I think that is Asmodei."

"Sebastian warned me of how they might be able to sense portal activity." I whisper back. "Then we need to leave now." He pulls me to the back wall and puts me in front of it. "Draw a portal back to the room and we will gather all of our stuff and leave on my bike." I nod and quickly draw a portal and before I know it, he grabs my hand and is pulling my through the portal.

We land back in the hotel room and I immediately realize we are not alone. There are two Asmodei warriors looking very surprised at our sudden appearance. Jace grabs his sword from next to the bed from where he is standing and I grab a throwing knife from the night stand as we wait for someone to make the first move.


	19. Chapter 19

The Asmodei warrior that is closest to us smiles a sinister smile as he says in a heavy accent, "Princess."

"You got me." Jace says snarkily drawing the attention back to himself while stepping directly in between the line of site of me and the Asmodei. I shift one of the knives in my hand and position it how Diana taught me and ready myself on my target; the other Asmodei warrior in the room. Just as I am about to raise my arm to throw it, the one that is closest to us lunges at Jace and he deftly dodges the sword that was aimed at his abdomen. Jace grabs hold of the arm of the warrior that was holding the sword and brings his elbow down on it hard, causing the Asmodei to grunt in pain.

That is when I see the other warrior smile wickedly at me and I suddenly get chills that run down my spine. He locks eyes with me as he moves to the other side of the bed while Jace is in a fierce fight with the first guy. My Asmodei bends his knee to pick up his foot to step on the bed and I see a dagger fly from where Jace is and impale itself in his side even though Jace is clearly busy. The Asmodei grunts loudly in pain and looks down and that is when I throw the first of my two knives. It hits home in his heart and I am able to see the surprised look on his face before he falls forward onto the bed, dead. I look back over to Jace and it looks like he is backing the warrior up against the wall and then Jace suddenly brings his sword up and slices the guy's throat.

As soon as Jace is sure he is not getting back up, he looks to me completely panicked. "Clary! Are you okay?" he practically shouts. He rushes over to me and brings his hands to either side of my face as he looks into my eyes as I answer him. "I am fine. He didn't even come close to touching me."

He closes his eyes for a second as he lets out a breath I didn't know he was holding. "Thank goodness." Jace says lowly as he pulls me in for a hug. He wraps his arms around me and I don't know what to do. Do I hug him back? Do I just stand here and wait for him to be done? So I just settle for extending my arms slightly and putting my hands on the sides of his abdomen as he squeezes me tightly. He finally releases me and doesn't even look me in the face and he turns around.

"We need to get all of our stuff and get the hell out of here." Jace says as he pulls a large backpack from under the bed. He opens the drawers to his clothes and shoves them quickly into the bag and then he goes and pulls the knives out of the dead Asmodei and says as he sees my confused look, "We need all of the weapons we can get. We can't afford to leave any behind."

I nod in understanding and begin to gather the weapons off of the dresser and shove them into the bag as Jace disappears into the bathroom. I shove my clothes into the bag and by the time Jace returns, everything in the room has been stuffed into the bag which now can barely be zipped. Jace helps me into his riding jacket and then puts the backpack on my back and then we are rushing out of the door. He swings his leg over his motorcycle and kick starts it and then holds out a hand for me to help me onto the bike. I swing my leg over and the moment my hands grasp onto his belt, he accelerates and we are flying down the road and into the night.

After a few minutes of wreckless driving, I sit up and yell, "Where are we going?" He turns his head and yells back to me, "I know of a place on the outskirts of town. It's an abandoned house that I scouted out when I came back as a possible 'safe house' if I needed one."

"Well look at you, Mr. Prepared." I say sarcastically to him. We roll up to a stop light then and this car full of girls stops next to us. I watch as the one driving nudges her friend next to her and the one in the back seat scoots over to the window and they roll the windows down.

"Hey, there." The pretty blonde one says from the driver's seat. Jace looks over at her and she smiles sexily at him. She glaces back at me quickly and then back to Jace. "Why don't you drop your little sister off somewhere and then come party with us?" As she says this, she leans over and presses her chest against the door of the car and it pushes her breasts practically clear up to her chin.

Jace smiles back at her sexily and I know what he is about to say is going to be good. "How much?" Jace says questioningly. The girl's face tries to maintain it's seductive look while looking confused up at Jace. "What?" she asks in her high pitched voice. Jace raises his voice as he says again, "How much?" The girls look between each other confused as a knowing smirk spreads across my face. Jace motions to them and says, "You know, how much do you charge for the night? Aren't the three of you prostitutes? Isn't that why you are propositioning me for sex with my girlfriend on the back of my bike clinging to my pants?"

I begin to laugh hysterically at the girls offended faces as they look back at me and Jace takes off as the light turns green. "Oh my gosh, that was hilarious!" I yell at Jace. I can feel his chest heaving up and down in laughter as he turns around and yells over the roar of the bike, "It serves them right to treat me like a piece of meat. I have a brain too!" The way he says it reminds me of a woman saying the same thing about a man who is only after her for her body.

We drive for a while and the businesses become further and further apart until we turn onto this two lane road and drive for about a mile and then turn into the driveway of an abandoned house. It is not what you think and abandoned house would look like with the porch falling down and the windows boarded up. It is a normal looking one story brick house and there is an eviction notice taped to the front door and the yard looks relatively neat.

Jace swings off of the bike and then helps me down after driving around to park in the back, and takes the heavy backpack from me. "This house is conveniently placed and is only a few turns from the Institute." He starts to tell me. "We are about ten miles from it but the back roads lead straight to the Institute. I think we should be okay here for a while." I look up at the brick house and Jace walks up to the door and draws an open rune and it pops open.

He motions for me to go first and I step inside to see that there is barely anything in the house. I walk a little further past the empty kitchen and see that there is a big couch that takes up most of the living room. "There is just the one couch." Jace says pointing to it. "I looked the first time I came by and all of the bedrooms are empty." I turn around to face him and say, "That's okay. The couch is big enough for the both of us. You can sleep at one end and I can sleep at the other."

I shrug out of his jacket and toss it onto couch as I fall onto it and look back up at him watching me. "That was interesting. Note to self." I say playfully. "No more portals."

He runs a hand through his hair and smiles down at me. "That was good team work. I thought I was going to have to fight both of them but you seemed to handle him yourself."

I roll my eyes at him. "That is what I have been trying to tell you. I am not that easy to kill." He smirks at me and says, "I can see that now." He plops down on the couch next to me, a little too close for just friends, and he looks over to me and says, "So. What do you want to do now?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe we could track down Holly and see if she wants to come over and 'party' with us." Jace smiles and laughs. "I am not so sure, Clary. I think you scared her away." He then turns to me and swings his arm over the back of the couch, his forearm stopping behind my head, and asks, "Do you really think..."

He stops midsentence as a flicker of blue flames comes falling out of the air. I stand up and catch it and douse the remaining blue flames. I look at the handwriting and it is Sebastian's and I can tell it was hastily written. I unfold it quickly and begin to read it,

 _"Please tell me that you are okay. Two Asmodei were just found killed in a hotel room where we think you and Jace were. Please be okay. I can't lose you, Clary. I love you, Sebastian."_

I look over to Jace and say, "They found where we were and the two dead Asmodei. He wants to know if I am okay." I begin to search the house for paper and coming up with an old piece of mail in one of the drawers and I pull out my stele to write back.

 _"I am fine, Sebastian. Jace and I killed them and got away before any more of them could come. They didn't lay a finger on me and I wish I could say the same for Jace. His guy was a little harder to kill than mine. We are both perfectly fine though. Hurry and find me a way back home to you. I miss you and I love you. Yours only, Clary."_

I fold it up and it soon ignites and is gone. I walk back around into the living room from the kitchen and lean heavily against the wall. "I told him everything was fine."

Jace looks thoughtfully from me to the floor and says, "He seems to really care about you."

"He does." I say to him awkwardly. "He _is_ my fiancee."

Jace nods his head and says, "I know." quietly. "But do you care about him?"

I look at him and narrow my eyes at him. "Of course I do. I love him."

"But you also love _me_." Jace says emphatically, looking me in the eyes as he stands up.

"No. I thought I loved you because of the possession rune you put on me." I snap back at him. "I don't blame you for it because I know you were under Sophie's direction, but I still was." I say with force. "Every time you touched me, I was under your influence. I felt what you wanted me to feel. The little electrical jolts that I thought was something akin to demented passion or love was a lie. I don't even know if I liked kissing you or being with you because I never got to decide for myself with that _fucking_ rune on me. You made me feel those things when you touched me. I don't know what I would have felt if it was just us to begin with. So I don't know if I ever loved you."

Jace takes long purposeful strides to stand in front of me with a determined look on his face. "But that's just it. The reason you felt all of those things when I touched you was because I felt them towards you. Sophie ordered me just to get you to trust me. Not to seduce you. I could still be mostly me when I was under her control and the further I got away from her, the easier it was to pretend I didn't have the possession rune on me. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were different. That first night at the pool party, I hadn't put it on you yet and you still looked at me the same way you look at me now. The more I got to know you, the more I fell in love with you. Even Sophie's influence wasn't enough to stop me from loving you."

My breathing has become shallow and I feel frozen by his words. "I never meant for you to do anything you didn't want to or felt tricked into." he continues. "God knows how much I hate myself for taking your virginity when you were under my influence. I saw you standing there in that purple dress and you were/are the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I loved/love you so much and I wanted to show you what you meant to me in every possible way. Yes, I wanted to make love to you. I won't deny that. But I swear on the angel that I never meant for you to feel like I stole it from you. The last thing I ever wanted or want to do is hurt you in any way. I love you, Clary. And if you were honest with yourself, you would admit that you are in love with me too. It's so hard for me to wait for something that I know might not ever happen, but it's even harder to give up on you when you are everything I ever wanted. I love you so much." His voice drops low and pleading when he says, "Please tell me if you love me too."

Somewhere in the middle of his speech, my mouth fell slightly open. I don't even know how to respond to that. I have _no_ idea what I feel towards him. "I don't know Jace. I can't tell you for certain what I feel. I am just so confused."

"Then let me help you clear your mind." He says deeply as he closes the distance between us. His hand comes around to the back of my head as he crashes his lips against mine. I am so shocked that I just freeze at his sudden assault and then he moves his other hand to my face and gently strokes down my cheek as he pulls back and whispers, "Let go, Clary. Let yourself feel and stop thinking so much." He brings his lips to mine and then my lips are moving in sync with his. I don't know how or why it happened, but I am kissing him back. I can feel his elation in me responding to him and my heart gives an unsteady thump in my chest as butterflies fly around in my stomach. I bring my hands to his hair and tangle them in it and he lets out a low moan as one of his hands slides to the the spot in between my shoulder blades and he presses me against him as the other hand cups my face. I open my mouth and let his tongue slide in and that is when I realize that he is right. The feelings I developed for him when we first met were real and I can deny it no longer. I do love him. Only the physical part was a lie...mostly. I did want to be with him. After a fierce few seconds of his tongue sliding in my mouth, he breaks away and starts to trail kisses down my neck and I close my eyes and see Sebastian smiling brightly at me.

"Stop." I say forcefully to Jace and I push him away and he lets me. He looks questioningly at me and says, "What is it, my Clary? What's wrong?" He reaches his hand back to my face and I catch it gently and then push it down slowly.

"I am not _your_ Clary." I say to him. "I am Sebastian's Clary. He is my fiancee."

Jace groans and grabs his hair with both hands and tugs on it hard as he spins around. "You keep saying that but it is only by some _stupid_ piece of paper. You should marry who you are in love with." he says emphatically.

I stand up straight, suddenly angry for some reason. "Yes, it was by paper at first. Until I fell in love with him." Jace spins back around and looks at me startled and I continue. "Just before the Asmodei attacked us on my birthday, Sebastian had just asked me to marry him and I said yes because I wanted to. Because I am in love with him."

This seems to knock the wind out of him. His face freezes in shock with his mouth slightly agape. When he speaks again, his voice has lost all of it's volume and conviction. "You agreed to marry him?"

I stand up straight and nod 'yes' to him. This simple motion on my part seems to strip his hope of ever being with me and he nods in understanding as he drops his head. He begins to walk with purpose to the back door where we came in. "Jace, wait." I say to him but it is too late. He reaches the door and steps through it and is quickly pulling it shut behind him. I turn around and punch the wall in anger. Why does my life have to be _so_ fucked up? Why did I have to fall in love with two incredible men? I feel like that girl from some books I read. Clockwork...something. I look around for something else to punch and when I find nothing, I just end up falling to my knees in defeat and begin to cry. I am crying because I miss Sebastian and I wish he was here. I am crying because at the same time, I want Jace to be the one to wrap his arms around me to comfort me. I just wish I could go back to the way things were before all of this. When I was just a high school graduate getting ready to go to college with my friends. I don't want to be in love with two people.

I am suddenly pushing up off of the floor and I find myself walking out of the house to find Jace. I look around quickly and when I don't see him, I yell out his name. After a few seconds, he appears around the house and says, "Yes, your highness." in his most formal voice.

I don't know why, but the formality of his words and his tone feel like a dagger to my heart. "Don't do that, Jace. Dont shut me out." He looks up at me and is about to say something when I speak up first. "You're right. I do love you." I feel like I owe it to him for him to know how I really feel. I watch as my words sink in and his face brightens up and he starts to walk forward to me. I hold up my hand to get him to stop, and he does. "I didn't want to admit it, but I can't deny it any longer. Part of me wishes that I would have never figured it out because I feel like a part of me is dying on the inside from what I am about to say." I take a deep breath as tears start to roll down my cheeks and I have to swallow past the lump in my throat. "I am in love with Sebastian also and I agreed to marry him. I will not go back on my word to him. I can't and won't do that to Sebastian. So much has happened between me and you and...if things were different I would pick you if I didn't ever meet him. But they aren't different and I can't. I fell in love with someone else while you were gone and nothing can change that now. I gave myself to him and I promised to marry him. I can't stop loving him just like I can't stop loving you."

I am full on crying by the time I get done talking and I can see Jace's face and it is absolutely killing me. I can't look at the pain on his face and know that I am the one who caused it. I turn around and walk back into the house and make it all the way to the couch before I let myself fall to pieces. I curl up into a ball and I weep. I can feel a part of myself ripping away from me and it is excruciating. I just want to disappear. I reach down and take the stele that Sebastian gave me in my hands and I bring it to my chest and clutch it like it is a life line. It is the only thing I have of Sebastian's and it is the only thing that makes me feel like I made the right decision.

I must have cried for hours but soon my tears run dry and a feeling of emptiness takes it's place. I am just about to drift off to sleep when I hear a commotion outside. I hear deep voices talking and then I hear the doorknob being turned. I stay laying down as I move my hand to the knife in the waist of my pants and then I hear a familiar deep voice call out, "Clary?!"

I sit straight up and say with surprise, "Sebastian?!" He comes around the corner then and our eyes land on each other. His eyes light up and I am suddenly on my feet and running to him with his stele still clutched in my hand. He takes two long strides forward and when I reach him, I jump into his outstretched arms. He picks me up and lifts me off of the ground as I wrap my arms around his neck so tight I fear I might choke him. I pull back and place my hands on either side of his face and crash my lips to his and he returns the kiss fiercely. I pull back after a few seconds to look into his beautiful brown eyes in disbelief. "How did you find me? How did you get here?" I say smiling down at him. He is still holding me off of the floor and my face is slightly above his and the smile he is giving me as he looks up at me is enough to make my heart pitter-patter with love for him.

"The last fire message you sent was a bill from here." he tells me as he slowly lets my feet touch the floor but he still refuses to let me go. "It was a simple rune to figure out where you were."

"But how did you get through the Asmodei? I thought they had the Institute surrounded?" I say questioningly. That is when Magnus Bane strolls into the room. "That was all me." he says with a smile. I smile back at him and give him a small hug.

Sebastian brings his hand up to my face as if he is reassuring himself that I am here as he tells me. "Magnus couldn't get in so when I found out where you were, I gave him a call and he was able to cast a spell on a group of the Asmodei that allowed me and Izzy to slip through unnoticed."

I smile brightly up at him. "Izzy's here?" She comes through the door then and runs as Sebastian releases me so I can give her a big hug. "I have to go back out there now and help Jace keep watch." she says as she turns and walks back outside and my heart sends a big pang of hurt rushing through my body at the mention of Jace's name. Sebastian pulls me back to him and claims my lips again and I thread my hands in his dark hair and smile against his lips. "I love you, Clary." he whispers emphatically as his eyes are closed and his forehead is resting against mine.

"I love you too, Sebastian.", I whisper to him just as emphatically. I turn my head up to him and kiss him quickly one more time before he stands up and smiles down at me like I am his own personal miracle. I reach up and touch his face as I say, "Can we go home now?"

He smiles as he grabs my hand that is on his face and turns his face into it and kisses it with his eyes closed. When he opens them, his eyes are shining with unshed tears of happiness. "Yes, my love. Let's go home now." He takes my hand in his and starts to pull me along and through the back door. The moment I am outside, I look over to where Jace is and our eyes meet for a second before he looks away. I almost didn't see the hurt look in them; but I did and now that image is burned in my mind. I refocus myself on my hand in Sebastian's and I take a deep breath to clear my mind of any wayward thoughts about Jace.

"The car we drove is over here." Sebastian says pointing to a car. "We will have to get out and walk through their lines again when we get close." I look up to Sebastian nervously when he says this and he brings a hand to my face as he says, "We are going to be fine." I nod and he kisses the top of my head. He then looks over to where Jace is checking the contents of his bag. I am assuming he is doing this for something to do instead of standing around and watching Sebastian and me like everyone else is. "Jace." Sebastian says to him. Jace looks up and turns to face Sebastian as he walks over to him. "I know we have had a rocky relationship since Sophie but I considered you to be my best friend at one point."

"You were mine too, man." Jace says back to him.

"I just wanted to thank you for looking after Clary and taking care of her for me." When Sebastian says this, even though his back is to me, I can hear the deep emotion and gratitude that laces his voice. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her."

Jace's eyes involuntarily dart to me and meet mine for a split second and then back to Sebastian and he says, "You're welcome. At least she kept me entertained."

Sebastian laughs at this and says, "That she does. There is never a boring minute when she is around." They both share a weak laugh and my heart clenches uncomfortably as I look at the two men I love. "You did a good job which is why you are coming back to the Institute with us." Sebastian continues.

Jace and I both look up at the same time and say the same thing in unison, "What?"

"You have proven your loyalty and I kind of want my best friend back." Sebastian explains.

How stupid was I that I thought I would get off so easily. I thought they would send Jace back to wherever he was supposed to go and I wouldn't have to see him everyday. Look at him everyday and feel the way I feel towards him. No. Why should I be so lucky and get off so easily? "I don't know, man." Jace says unsurely to him and rubs the back of his neck with his hand, clearly stressed by the idea of watching me be with Sebastian everyday. I am not thrilled by the idea either that I will feel like I am rubbing his nose in the fact that I chose Sebastian.

"That wasn't a request." he says playfully to Jace as I hold my breath and wait for him to say something.

"I guess I can hang out for a few days until I can find a way back to where I am supposed to be." Jace says. He never takes his eyes off of Sebastian as he says this and I am grateful for that. I can handle a few days...I think. Sebastian claps him on the back of the shoulder as he says, "At a boy!" affectionately to him and he turns around to face me. He gives me a radiant smile and walks over to give me a quick peck. The second he pulls back, my eyes dart over to Jace and I see that he saw the kiss and he immediately looks away. I have to keep reminding myself that I can't push Sebastian away just to appease Jace. I am going to marry him and I love him. It wouldn't be fair if I suddenly changed the way I acted towards him for anyone involved. I don't want to pretend that I don't love Sebastian when Jace is around.

Izzy snaps me out of the trance I am in by wrapping a weapons belt around my waist. She saw my expression and looks at me with this concerned look on her face. She drops her voice low and whispers, "Are you okay?" I look over at Jace and Sebastian talking about plans to get through the Asmodei lines and then back to Izzy and shake my head no. "Okay. We will talk about it when we get back." she whispers again into my ear as she reaches around and tightens the belt. "But right now, I need you to focus, Clary. Whatever is going on in there," she points to my head, "put it away and focus on what we are about to do."

I look into her eyes as her serious tone focuses me and I nod my head. Izzy steps away and I see Sebastian turn around and walk over to me. "Are you ready, babe?" he asks me and I smile up at him and say, "As ready as I will ever be." He smiles brightly back at me and then unexpectedly wraps me in another hug and kisses me passionately after he says lowly, "I missed you so much.". I kiss him back, so glad to be back in his arms, and I let myself have this one tiny moment of bliss before he pulls back and takes my hand as we begin to leave for the car.

We all pile in the car with Jace driving and Magnus in the front. Sebastian awkwardly squeezes his long legs into the back seat with me and I am sandwiched in between him and Izzy who is nervously coiling and recoiling her electrum whip on her arm. About ten minutes later, Jace pulls over onto the side of the road and looks back to Sebastian and says, "Is this the spot you were talking about?"

Sebastian looks out the windows and looks around and says, "Yeah. This is close enough." and then everyone is filing out of the car. I look down to the weapons belt Izzy gave me and familiarize myself with where the weapons are on it. Jace has walked a few feet into the woods and when I look up, he is looking at me with worry. Sebastian comes up to me then and asks, "Are you ready?" I look up to him and say, "Yes. I am more than ready." I put a few runes on myself and so do the others and then we a trekking through the woods with surprising quietness.

After about fifteen minutes of walking, Magnus whispers for us to stop. We all freeze and then we hear two voices talking in the distance. We all duck down low to the ground and then we see what I am assuming are the two people on patrol. Before I know it, Izzy and Jace pop up, taking them by surprise, and kill them before they even have time to draw their own weapons. We continue on for a few minutes longer until I begin to see a line of what looks like a camp. Sebastian looks at Magnus and he nods with an almost scary look on his face. Magnus who is always smiling and the picture of ease now looks slightly frightening as he lowers his face in concentration.

He steps forward and blue sparks begin to leave his finger tips and then that is when the shouting starts. A man yells something from the camp and then another one yells something and then a woman's voice yells something close to 'over there' and then Magnus is crouching down behind a tree. I look over to Sebastian who is looking at me worriedly and then Jace is shoving me down into a dip in the ground.

So, here I am, back at the beginning of where this story started. Hiding in a whole in the ground from the Asmodei with a gorgeous man that I love laying on top of me to cover my body from harm while the other man I love dives down into the dip in the ground with me.

"We are going to have to fight our way through." Sebastian says looking at me. I nod my head and then Jace's presence is gone and Sebastian is pulling me up. A few Asmodei have figured out where we are and have come running to engage us into a fight. Everyone has formed kind of a circle of protection around me and I watch as more and more Asmodei come running towards all of the people I love. I dive my hands into my weapons belt and since they won't let anyone near me, I begin to throw my knives. I let one loose at a female Asmodei and she was too preoccupied with running for Sebastian that she didn't see my knife fly at her and it sank, hilt deep, into her head. I pull out another knife and find my next target. There is another warrior that is about to engage fighting with Jace and the other two men that are already there. I throw my knife without even thinking and I hit him just to the left of the heart. He falls to the ground in pain and I decide that he is incapacitated enough to move on to my next target.

That is when I look up and see about ten Asmodei running toward us and I know that we are going to die if they get to us. Just as I am about to pull out some more of my weapons, a rune pops into my head. Slick swift lines that stop and start harshly and I pull out my stele and my short sword. I bring my stele to the hilt of the sword and quickly draw the rune that is inside of my head. I push my way forward and feel Sebastian's hand on my arm trying to pull me behind him and I jerk away as I yell, "Everyone behind me, _NOW_!" My voice is commanding and full of authority. They all stop for second and seem to be debating whether or not to listen to me so I shout again, "Do it _NOW_!" They all seem to understand how serious I am and then I plunge the short sword into the ground as I fall onto my knees.

I watch in utter amazement as ice begins to spread out in front of my sword and it swallows up everything in it's path. The ice spreads up the trees and along the ground, and when it comes to the Asmodei, it swallows them whole too. I watch as the ice spreads up their feet and legs and then they are ice statues. For as far as I can see, the ice spreads and everything it touches becomes part of it. After a few seconds, it is quiet and all you hear are the bugs making noise in the woods. I turn around and look back to everyone with a huge smile on my face and see that they are all sharing a mask of utter shock.

Magnus's face is frozen with his eyes wide and his mouth agape. I look to Sebastian whose mouth is hanging slightly ajar and watch as it begins to turn into an impressed smile as he looks ahead of himself at the ice wonderland in front of him. Jace's face is shocked with a mixture of amazement and respect and Izzy is just shaking her head back in forth as her lips are pursed. She looks over to me and says, "You could have done that from the start and I wouldn't have broken a nail." I instantly start to laugh at Izzy and she gives me a reassuring smile.

Sebastian steps forward then and looks into my eyes. "That was amazing, Clary." he says almost breathlessly. I look back up at him and give him a cocky smile as I say, "We should really get going. They won't stay like that forever."

I then see Jace walking forward and then we are making our way through across the ice. Sebastian and Jace and Izzy kill the frozen Asmodei that could pose a threat if they were to thaw out and soon we are breaking through the woods and I can see the Institute. I breathe a sigh of relief and then I am running. Sebastian guides me along until he stops at a door in the ground. He pulls it open and then we are descending down the ladder just as I look back and begin to see the Asmodei begin to thaw out. Jace is the last one in and he shuts the door with a final bang and then we are running through the dark corridor. After a few minutes of running, we approach a door and Izzy swings it open and then we are in the Institute. Jace, once again, is the last one through and when he shuts the door, Sebastian grabs me up and kisses me. When he pulls back, he is wearing such a big goofy grin, I can't help but smile back and give a little laugh.

"I can't believe I got you back." Sebastian whispers to me as Izzy and Magnus are talking. I can see Jace from the corner of my eye standing awkwardly trying to find anything other than me and Sebastian to look at. "Yes, you did." I whisper back to him. He smiles brightly at me and then kisses me again. I wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the little private moment between me and him. He lets me go and I pout my lip at him because I didn't want the kiss to end. He bends over again and whispers extra low, "I will finish it when we get back to our room." I smile brightly at this and the fact that he said 'our' room.

We climb a set of stairs and as soon as the door flies open, I can see my mother pacing frantically. Her head shoots up to the sound of the door and then she locks eyes with me and lets out a huge sigh of relief and then she is running to me and wraps me in her arms. She is clutching me so tightly and when she finally lets me go, I pull back and her eyes are filled with unshed tears. "Mom, I am fine." I step back and hold out my arms and spin. "You see. No scratches or anything."

Mom looks up to Sebastian and pulls him down into a hug as she says, "I can't believe your plan worked." She lets him go and he stands up straight as he looks unsurely at me. "Actually it wouldn't have worked without Clary." My mother looks at me surprised and says "Really?"

"Listen, mom." I say to her before I can get pulled into a long discussion about my abilities, "I am really tired. I just really want to take a shower and go to bed." She looks like she wants to protest but reluctantly agrees and kisses me on the forehead. I turn and begin to walk towards the stairway out of here when Jonathan comes bounding down it. He looks shocked to see all of us standing here and his eyes zero in on me as he throws his arms up as he says, "I leave for _two_ minutes, and all of the good stuff happens." I let out a huge laugh and walk forward and he wraps me in a big hug as he says so no one else will hear, "I am so glad you are okay." I pull back and give him a kiss on the cheek and then tell him that I am now going to bed.

Sebastian climbs a few steps to join me and takes my hand. When we reach the top of the stairs, I hear Jace clear his throat and we stop and turn around to face him. "Um," he says looking anywhere but at me, "I am just going to head back to my old room if that is okay?" Sebastian gives him a "Yeah, man." and then Jace is turning away.

"Jace, wait." I say to him. He stops mid-turn and faces me. I walk over to him and will his eyes to meet mine. The moment they do, I offer him a small smile as I go to hug him. I wrap my arms around his neck and my heart begins to do painful flips in my chest as his arms move to awkwardly hug me back. While my lips are next to his ear, I can't help but say, "I love you." for some reason and when I pull back, I can see the concealed surprise on his face. "Thank you for keeping me safe." I say in my normal speaking voice and he nods and says, "Of course." I turn around and Sebastian takes my hand and just as we are about to turn a corner, I look back to see Jace smiling at me and then I am going up another flight of stairs.

Sebastian and I walk back to our room in silence and as soon as I shut the door behind me to our room, Sebastian scoops me up into his arms and kisses me with desperate passion and he begins to tear my clothes off. I pull back, suddenly very conscious of when the last time I took a shower was. "Babe." I say to him. He pulls back and looks at me questioningly. "I feel gross and really want to take a shower."

The smile that spreads across his face is purely seductive as he asks, "Would you like some company?" I bite my lip and look at him and say, "I sure would." The next thing I know, all of my clothes are off except for the barely-there bra and he looks at it and lets out a low whistle. "I wore it for after our date." I tell him and he smiles at me and reaches around and pops the clasp. He carries me into the bathroom where we take a really long, and really " _hot_ " shower. We both dry off and then climb into bed without any pajamas and I curl into him as he whispers, "I love you." and I drift off to sleep.

* * *

 **-Jace**

I watch as she walks away holding his hand and then she turns and looks back at me one last time and I know that whatever is between us isn't over. Not by a long shot. Not after she whispered in my ear that she loved me. I smile a little at the thought and then turn and head to my room. She loves me and I love her. I feel down in my bones that this isn't over and I know she feels it too. Why else would she have said she loved me again?

* * *

 **Trust me when I say that this love triangle isn't over yet so please, once again, be patient if you don't like the way the story is going. There is still a good bit more that is going to happen in this story. And anyway, did you expect Clary to go back on her word to marry Sebastian? What I will tell you is that someone will die before the story is over because shit happens and you can't keep everyone safe in a war and you won't know who it is till the last second.**

 **I would also like to give credit to Aelin Sardothian for the ice rune. It was originally used in one of her stories which are fucking amazing! Go check them out and read them.**

 **Till next time, thanks for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

I feel a large warm hand slide down my bare arm and I smile. I roll over and see Sebastian smiling down at me with the most contented smile. I smile back at him and say, "Good morning." He leans forward and lays a soft sweet kiss on my lips. He pulls back and says "Good morning to you." I roll over the rest of the way and pull my body flush with his as he snakes his arms around me and pulls me tight. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair as I say, "I always want to wake up like this."

Sebastian smiles brightly at me and pulls me in for another kiss. "Your wish is my command, princess." His tone is playful but the way he is looking at me is not. He kisses me gently again and then trails his hands over my body and then his mouth is trailing kisses everywhere. We don't come up for air for the next half hour as his kisses led to other things. Sebastian kisses me one last time and then he is sliding out of bed and pulls on some shorts. He walks over to his guitar (he knows how much I love to hear and watch him play) and starts to play Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam which is one of my favorite songs. He happens to be an amazing guitar player and I know he is playing for me as a kind of welcome home. I sit up in bed and smile as I watch him and think how he makes me feel so relaxed.

I slip out of bed and slide on my robe and stroll over to the stuffed chair where he is sitting and I slide my tiny body into the seat with him and rest my head on his shoulder as he plays. I watch his muscles flex in his arm as he strums his guitar and I gently place my hand on his arm and slide it down feeling him. "It feels so good to be back." I whisper to him. He turns his head and kisses me as he keeps playing and I take my hand that was on his arm and slide it up to his face and he lets out a sigh of relief and contentment at my touch. He finishes the song just as someone knocks on the door.

I hop up and walk over to the door and open it up to our breakfast and the girl who always brings it curtsies when I take it and says, "I am so glad you are back, your Highness." I smile sweetly at her and say "Me too." and I close the door. We eat our breakfast and then reluctantly get dressed and then head down to where my mother is. We push our way into the library, hand in hand with smiles on our faces, and find that she is not alone. Magnus, Jace, and the Consul and Adriana are all waiting for us. Adriana rushes over to me and wraps me in a big hug and then Michael approaches and he wraps me in a more conservative hug as Adriana says, "I am so glad you are back, my dear. Sebastian was a mess while you were gone."

I squeeze Sebastian's hand and look up at him and smile as he gives me a loving smile and I see from the corner of my vision Jace look away and then turn his body away from us. I have to find a way to get him out of here for both of our sakes. I can't keep hurting him like this and he can't keep seeing me with Sebastian. It isn't fair to him.

"Clary." My mother calls from where she is and I look up to her. "We have been waiting for you for half and hour."

I look to her sheepishly and say, "Sorry. I didn't know anyone was waiting for me. No one told me."

Izzy speaks up then from her post at the door. "Sorry. That was my fault. I may have overslept just a tad." My mother just gives Izzy an amused smile and then looks back to me. "We are all here so you can tell us about what happened."

I look over to Jace and he has turned back around and is looking intently at me. "Not much, mom. Jace pulled up on his motorcycle in the middle of the ambush and," I drop my voice low and poke him in the side, "Sebastian yelled at him to get me out of there and then Jace picked me up and put me on the back of the bike while I was trying to get back to Sebastian. I didn't want to leave him behind." I squeeze his hand and he strokes my face in a very intimate and loving gesture. "I am still mad at you for that." I say quietly to him and smiles gently at me. I look back to my mother, snapping out of my daze and finish my story. "We tried to come back another way and there were Asmodei waiting for us so we turned around he took me to the hotel room where he was staying."

My mom's eyes narrow fractionally at this and she glances at Jace briefly as I continue. "We went to sleep and then we woke up really early the next morning to get me some clothes and food and were back in the room in thirty minutes. We spent the whole day there," I pause as I think better of telling them of the fun we had with poor Holly and I smile at the memory. My eyes dart to Jace and he is smiling back at me and I look back to my mother, "and then I portalled us to get some dinner." I think about Jace chasing me around when I stole his brownie and then when he held me against him so he could take it and I shudder. "Some Asmodei showed up and then we portalled back to the room where two of their warriors were waiting. We killed them and then left and went to the house where you found us." My eyes dart to Jace again and I can see that the memory is just as painful to him as it is to me.

My mom looks over to Jace and then back to me. "That is the same story Jace told us."

"Of course it is. Why would he lie when you could just have him hold the Mortal Sword to find out the truth. There is no reason for him to lie anyway." I say defending him. "Yes, he wasn't supposed to be here but if he wasn't, I would probably be dead right now. You should be thanking him for running away from where ever he was supposed to be. He tried to tell you that something like this could happen but no one listened to him." When I get done with my speech, everyone is looking at me and I have no idea why I go so defensive.

Mom looks at me surprised and then over to Jace and she seems to be thinking deeply about something. Probably trying to figure out if she should punish him for running away from his assignment or hug him to thank him for saving me. It is quite for a minute or two and the air in the room is thick with tension. When she finally speaks, it startles me and I jump just a little. "Jace Herondale, the way I see it, your actions negated one another. You deserting your job was a grievous crime, but if you had not done it, then the Princess would be dead. Therefore, there will be no punishment for running away and no reward for saving my daughter. Do you understand?"

Jace stands up straight as he says, "Yes, your Majesty."

My mother nods her head and then begins to speak again. "Seeing that we are still surrounded by Asmodei, you will have to stay here for now."

Jace's eyes dart to me and then quickly back to my mother as he says, "Yes, your Majesty."

"You may go now." she says and he bows and then leaves the room. I internally breathe a sigh of relief that he will not be punished for his actions. He only did it because he loves me. "Now that that bit of business is done," Mom says as she begins to walk over to me, "tell me about what you did last night with the Asmodei." I then launch into the story with Magnus, Sebastian, and Izzy adding a few bits in here and there. I tell her that when I saw the Asmodei charging us, I saw the rune flash in my mind and I just knew how to use it. Exactly like when I used the heavenly fire rune. I have been asked the same questions over and over again and by the time we are done, it is past lunch time and all I want to do is get some fresh air. I pull Sebastian along with me to the glass doors to the garden and push through the doors. The moment we are on the other side of the doors, Sebastian throws me over his shoulder and I scream in surprise.

"Ahh! What are you doing Sebastian!" I shout as I begin to giggle. I can tell he is excited about something and I just decide to let him have his way for now. I stop kicking my legs and just go limp on his shoulder. "Good!" he says in his deep voice. "You are starting to realize when you have been beaten by the almighty Sebastian!" I scoff loudly at him and elbow him in the shoulder blade and he just laughs. "There's my girl!" she says as he begins to laugh.

I can see that he is heading to the gazebo and when we get there, he sets me down gently and then as he is standing back up, he stops to pull me into a long kiss. When he releases me, I am panting for air. "What was that for?" I say breathlessly with a smile on my lips. He sticks his hand in his pocket and he pulls out his family ring and pulls my face up to look at his. "I didn't get a chance to give you this and now, I can't wait another minute before I can show the world that you are mine." He takes my hand and gently slides his family ring onto my finger and although it is a little too big, it seems to belong on my finger. I touch it with my other hand and then I look back up at him and he is staring at my hand with such a huge smile on his face. "I love you." I say to him and he looks back to my eyes. He bends down and kisses me again and then I hear a familiar voice say, "Oh, I am sorry. I didn't know someone was out here."

I hold my eyes shut tight because I am afraid to open them and have my suspicions confirmed. "That's alright, Jace." Sebastian says and I want to kick myself. I open my eyes and look over to Jace who looks like he just had his heart smashed into a million pieces. "Why don't you come over here and we can catch up." Sebastian continues and I quickly look back to Jace who is already shuffling backwards.

"Naw. That's okay. I can see that you are busy." Jace says and offers him a fake smile.

"That's nonsense, Jace. Get your ass over here." Sebastian says with a smile on his face. He is obviously not going to take no for an answer. Jace smiles politely and then begins to walk forward to join us in the gazebo. I sit down on the bench that goes around the edge of the gazebo and Jace takes the opposite side and Sebastian takes the spot next to me, of course. He throws his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into his side and I lock eye contact with Jace as I give him a look of apology. He purses his lips for a fraction of a second and then looks to Sebastian as he says, "Seriously, Jace, thanks for taking care of her when I couldn't. I owe you. Just name whatever it is you want and it is yours."

Jace raises his brows and looks to me and he isn't really going to ask for _me_ is he? I know that is what he is thinking but there is no way in hell..."Well," Jace says thoughtfully as he strokes his chin, "there is this one girl..." he is not about to do what I think he is about to do. "I met and her name was Holly. If you could track her down..." Before he can even finish, I have busted out laughing and I double over as Jace begins to laugh. Poor Sebastian is just looking between the two of us completely lost.

When I am able to sit upright, I quiet my laughter as Jace looks at me and I can see the love he has for me in his eyes. I briefly wonder if he can see the love in my eyes like that when I look at him. Or worse, I wonder if Sebastian can see it. I drop my smile instantly and then clear my throat. "Holly was this poor girl who fell under Jace's spell while we were at the motel." I say looking back to my fiancee with a smile on my lips. "Jace was telling me how he was the Yoda of picking up women and then he bragged how he could pick up any woman, anywhere in five minutes or under."

Sebastian smiles widely at this as he says, "It's true. The man does have a gift." and he nods his head in approval as he looks at Jace.

"Anyway," I continue, "there just happened to be a cute girl pulling luggage out of her trunk right in the middle of his bragging so I wanted to see him in action. But there was no way I was going to let him have an easy start." I smile over at Jace who is smiling back at me as he recalls our time together. "So, I shoved him out of the door and yelled at him saying that 'we had been together for two years and I had just found the second used condom from him cheating on me in one week' and I slammed to door in his face."

Sebastian laughs loudly at this and looks over to Jace. "There is no way to come back from that!" he shouts at him.

"That's what I thought." I say knowingly at Jace and he smiles an evil smile. "He gave her some sap story about how I kept sleeping with his best friend and how he couldn't bring himself to break up with me because a part of him was still in love with me so he made me break up with him. He even pretended to cry and she actually felt bad for him by the time he was done."

Sebastian takes his arm from around me and leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. "No way, man. That actually worked?" he asks disbelievingly to Jace. Jace stretches his arms out before he brings them behind his head and kicks his legs up on an imaginary table and says, "It sure did."

My fiancee leans forward and shakes Jace's hand, bro style, and then he says, "You really _are_ the Yoda of picking up women."

"And you, my liege, are my Luke Skywalker." Jace says and I can see why they were friends. I can see their relationship repairing itself and it makes me happy to see the men I love get their best friend back. Unfortunately, it is not the best news for me. I think I will go crazy if Jace is around all of the time. Just the way he is smiling now makes me want to kiss him.

Sebastian looks back to me and says with a smile, "This man taught me everything I know about how to pick up women. I was completely hopeless before Yoda here, showed me the ways of the Force."

"Jace was telling me that while we were in the motel room." I sit up straight and look into his eyes as I ask, "Did you really say you 'made a drink _specially_ for a girl' and then make creepy eye contact?" He looks to Jace and says with mock anger, "I can't believe you told her that!" and I let out a huge laugh at the same time Jace does.

Jace raises his hands in defense as he says, "To be honest, she didn't believe how horrible you were. She was convinced you were always as smooth as you are now."

Sebastian looks down at me and smiles widely. "Really?" he asks surprised. I raise my brows and nod my head and he smiles even wider. "Yes!" he shouts loudly. "That means I am a Jedi now! You Jace, are of course still the master, but I can now claim Jedi status."

"Yes, yes." I say patting Sebastian lightly on the back. "Your smoothness was enough to woo me." I say sarcastically. "Too bad that just when you master your game, you get stuck with me in some treaty and you won't be able to put it to good use to woo numerous unsuspecting girls into your bed." Jace laughs lightly at this while Sebastian brings his arm back around me. "Yes, but my smoothness got me the _only_ girl that ever mattered." He leans down and kisses me. I pull back quickly and I can see the hint of disappointment in his eyes at the shortness of it. I dart my eyes to Jace and he is looking down at the ground. 'This fucking sucks!' I think to myself and I stand up.

"Jace probably has somewhere he has to be, Sebastian. We should let him go." I say deperate to get away from this situation.

"Actually," Jace says with indifference, "I have absolutely no where to be." I narrow my eyes at him trying to figure out what game he is getting at.

"And I am going to go get us some lunch." Sebastian says as he starts to walk away. "Do you want me to come with you?" I ask after him hoping he would say yes. He turns around and says, "No. You stay here. I am waiting on you hand and foot for the next few days just to show you how glad I am that you are back." and he disappears around the big bush leaving me with Jace.

'Shit, shit, shit.' I think to myself. I turn around and face Jace and he is the picture of leisure. He is leaning back on the railing of the gazebo and his arms are spread out on either side of him as his arms rest on the railing. The look on his face is a mixture between smug and amused with a smirk on his face. "What are you smiling about?" I say sharply to him.

His smile widens as he says, "I am smiling at you. You are so afraid to be left alone with me. Why is that?"

"I am not afraid to be left alone with you." I snap back. I shift uncomfortably as I take my seat again.

"Then why are you so uncomfortable?" He asks as he leans forward, clearly amused by something. "I am not _uncomfortable_." I say lowly back to him and he just laughs. "Oh yes you are." He says between laughter. "Are you so afraid of your own feelings that if you spend too much time alone with me, you will realize that you belong with me? Or are you afraid that I will release my charms against you and you won't be able to resist?"

I narrow my eyes at him and clench my fists in my lap as I answer. "I am afraid of neither of those things. And trust me, your charms wouldn't have any effect on me." I watch as he raises one brow and stands up. "Are you so sure about that?" He asks as he walks over to me and bends over till his face is directly in front of mine. The vibes that he is sending off are making my skin crawl with anticipation. He places his arms on either side of me and braces them on the railing behind me as he dips his face lower and closer to mine. His eyes trap mine and my breath is suddenly coming in short pants. He leans even closer to me as his eyes still hold mine until he is skimming his nose along my jaw and I close my eyes at the sensation. My hands unclench and I feel my bones turning to mush as he whispers, "I love you, Clary." I let my head fall forward and rest on his shoulder as he places a kiss right in front of my ear and that is when I push him away.

"I can't do this, Jace. It's too hard to see you everywhere I go and know that I can't be with you." I say to him with my eyes closed. I am afraid that if I make eye contact with him again, I won't be able to resist.

"Then just be with _me_." He says pleadingly. I open my eyes and look at him as I stand up. "No, Jace. For as much as I love you, I love Sebastian too. I promised to marry him and that is what I am going to do and he will make me happy. He is in love with me and I am in love with him. Can't you see that?" I say pleadingly.

Jace has backed completely away from me and is turned around and looking at one of the walls of the garden. "I can see that but I can also see the way you look at me. I also see that you are in love with me." He turns around and faces me then and looks directly into my eyes. "I want to give up on you, but I just can't find the will to do it. I am not like other people. I don't fall in love numerous times. You're it for me and it is _killing_ me to see you with him when I want to be the one who gets you kiss you in front of everyone." He steps closer to me. "I hate losing and I don't want to admit to myself that I have lost you because I am afraid of what that pain will do to me."

"Jace...I..." I don't know what to say. I can't say 'you haven't lost me' and I can't say 'you can be the one to kiss me in front of everyone' because neither one of those things are true. A part of me still belongs to him and the other part of me belongs to Sebastian and he is the one who gets to kiss me and hold me and make love to me. I close my eyes in frustration and try to imagine Jace with another girl. Whispering sweet things to her and kissing her and having sex with her and the pain that image causes me is almost enough to break me. A huge lump forms in my throat and my heart squeezes unbearably and I want to scream. I don't want him to be with anyone else but we can't be together. I wonder if this is how he feels when he sees me with Sebastian. "We can't do this to each other, Jace. It will kill us both." I say breathlessly with my back still to him.

"I know." he says lowly.

I turn around to face him and the pain that is in my eyes is mirrored in his. "I know it's not fair for me to say this, but I love you, Jace. I love you so much it is killing me on the inside that I can't be with you. But you must know that if the roles were reversed, and I was with you and not Sebastian, I would feel the same exact way about not being with him." My shoulders slump and I say, "Either way, I lose and so does a man I love."

"But, Clary," Jace begins to say when I hear Sebastian's giant footsteps getting closer and I quickly take a deep breath and try to clear the tense air between Jace and I. Jace whispers to me as Sebastian begins to come around the corner. "I love you." I look back at him and mouth 'I love you too.' and I turn and smile at my handsome fiancee. He is holding two bowls of pasta.

"I just grabbed some left overs from dinner last night. It's blackened chicken alfredo pasta." he smiles brightly as he hands me my bowl.

I take a deep breath and smell the food. "It smells amazing. Thanks babe." I smile up at Sebastian and he bends down to give me a peck. It takes all my will power not to look at Jace and gauge his reaction. I want to make sure he is alright but at the same time, I don't want to see the hurt look on his face when I kiss Sebastian. So, I just settle for not looking at all and focusing on Sebastian's smiling face that warms my heart.

"I should go." I hear Jace say and I turn to look at him as he descends the stairs out of the gazebo. "I am going to go train for a few hours."

"Then you should see Clary in there soon." Sebastian says as he swallows a bite of his food. "She trains for three hours a day after lunch so she can catch up. She is improving at a very fast rate actually."

Jace looks at me and smirks. "I noticed. She had me throw things at her so she could impale them with my throwing knives."

Sebastian turns to me with an amused look while I narrow my eyes at Jace. "So, she has been showing off?"

I look back to Sebastian and smile a smug smile as I say "Just a tad." and I hold up my thumb and forefinger and inch apart to show him how much. Sebastian smiles wildly at this and says "Damn, do I love this woman! Her competitive nature and cockiness and all." and he awkwardly pulls me to him and kisses me trying to not drop his bowl.

Jace speaks up again and says, "I really should go. I'll see you two love birds later."

"Alright. See you later, man." Sebastian says just as Jace is turning the corner around the large bush. Sebastian surprises the hell out of me with the next thing he says. "Is he still in love with you?" I snap my head to meet his face, my eyes wide with shock. I have a fork full of pasta half way to my mouth and it is hanging open with surprise.

"What?" I say breathlessly surprised.

"You know...what he said while testifying with the Mortal Sword. That he loves you." Sebastian says this very nonchalantly like we are talking about the weather while on my inside, I am freaking _the fuck_ out! "I...I..." I begin to stutter when Sebastian cuts me off. "I have seen the way he looks at you and how he cringes when I touch you."

I feel like I am stuck. If I say yes, what will Sebastian do? If I say no, will he know that I am lying? _And_ if he sees the way Jace looks at me, does he see the way I look at him? The horror of him seeing my face full of love when I look at Jace is bone crushing. I can't hurt Sebastian the way I am hurting Jace. "Yes. I think he does." I say looking at Sebastian, hopefully wiping my face of emotion when I say this. I _will not_ hurt him like I am hurting Jace. This will become my new mantra.

Sebastian turns his head and looks in the direction Jace left and says, "That poor bastard. I don't blame him for falling in love with you. You _are_ amazing." He sets his bowl down and looks deep into my eyes as he cups my face. "I am so lucky that you chose me, above all others, to be your husband. I love you and I know you love me and that is all that matters to me in this world."

I lean forward and kiss him, so grateful that he is mine too. I need to stop whatever this thing is with Jace. I will not hurt Sebastian like I am hurting Jace. That is the only thing I can control right now in this royally messed up world of mine. This kiss becomes heavier that I expected it too and a minute later, I have to come up for air. We both sit there catching our breath and I look at him in the eyes as I say, "You are right. I did chose you. You will be mine and I will be yours till the day we die." If there is one thing my mother did, she raised a loyal daughter. I will not hurt Sebastian like I am hurting Jace.

I give him another quick kiss and then pull back and finish my lunch. Afterwards, I go and change into my training gear and then I am running down to the training room. I am five minutes late and Diana will probably make me do like fifty push ups. I push open the door and look across the huge room and see Jace over in the corner, shirtless, training with his sword with Diana. I watch him as he fights and he looks so graceful and so deadly at the same time. Kind of like a lion. He moves so effortlessly and lands 'deadly' blow after 'deadly' blow to Diana. She is smiling widely like she is thoroughly enjoying herself. I see my brother leaning against the wall and he is also watching what is going on. I walk over to him and say, "How long has this been going on?"

That is when I notice he has a secret bag of his favorite powdered cheese puffs hiding in his training bag and I watch as he licks his fingers of the orange crumbs. "You know Diana will kill you if she found out you brought those in here." He looks down at me and says, "She won't notice. She has been having to much fun with pretty boy over there for the past thirty minutes."

"Have they been going this hard at each other for thirty minutes?" I ask in shock. Though, I do know first hand how much stamina he possesses. I quickly mentally kick myself for letting my mind wonder in that direction.

"Yep." Jonathan says as he stuffs four puffs into his mouth all at once. Ugh. Boys can be so gross. I look back over to them and all I can look at are the muscles flexing in his back as he lifts his sword up over and over again. Diana dodges one of his blows by spinning, but Jace saw the move coming and pulled a training dagger from his belt and she spun right into it. When she feels it poking in her side, she lets out a loud laugh and says, "It has been too many years since I have had a good sword fight." She sets down her sword back into it's holder on the wall and looks back at him as she says, "I am just so glad that you are on our side. I don't think I have seen anyone better than you."

Jace still has his back to us and I can tell he is breathing heavily as he says, "My last instructor eventually wouldn't fight me anymore because I kept beating him. I think I bruised his ego."

Diana lets out a huge belly laugh at this. "Men and their egos are so easily bruised." That is when she notices Jonathan and I standing by the door. Jonathan had his hand half way to his mouth full of cheesy puffs and he hastily shoves them in his mouth, almost gagging himself. I laugh internally cause I don't want to get him into trouble. "So sorry for keeping you two waiting. I didn't realize what time it was." She grabs a towel and wipes the sweat off of her face as she walks over to us. Jace turns around to see me staring at him and he smirks. Ugh. Why does he have to be so flipping sexy and just plain _hot_?

"I think I might ask your mother if Jace can be the one that trains you both in swordplay." she says as she approaches us. "He is way better than me and he was actually teaching me a few moves."

The thought of Jace's arms around me teaching me how to fight with a sword fills me with horrible dread and pure excitement at the same time. It is the weirdest feeling and I don't know what I should do. So I end up just nodding my head noncommittally. Diana then pulls us into training and I can't control myself. Every few minutes, my eyes dart over to Jace and I catch him a few times looking back at me. If he would only just put a fucking shirt on...

We finish training and then I am practically running to my room. Izzy is, as always, silently behind me and is running to keep up with me. I push into my room and Izzy comes in too. "Clary, I think we need to talk about whatever was going on with you last night."

"In just a few minutes. I need to take a shower." I say as I shut my bathroom door. What I don't say is that I need to take a really cold shower to wash away the thoughts of sweaty shirtless Jace from my mind. I then take the coldest shower of my life and step out of the bathroom practically shivering and wrap a towel around my body. When I go back into my room, Izzy is there holding some jeans and a shirt for me to put on saying that I don't have anything else planned for the day. My mother apparently wants to give me time to rest.

I slip my clothes on and as soon as my shirt is pulled down, Izzy pounces. "You have to tell me what was going on last night. You looked like someone ran over your puppy."

I look back at her and I think about lying, but what would be the point? She always knows when I am lying and I really just want to get this off of my chest and get some advice. "I am in love with Sebastian... _and_ Jace." I spit out reluctantly. Izzy's brows raise in utter surprise as she sucks in a small breath of air. "I don't know how it happened, but when I spent all that time with him as 'him', I realized that I did fall in love with him and I still do love him and I am a horrible shitty fucking person." I bring my hands to my face and cover it in shame as the tears start to come. I can feel Izzy stand up off of the bed and wrap her arms around my shaking body. She lets me cry for a few minutes, never saying a word. Just rubbing comforting circles on my back. When the tears start to dry up, she pulls me to sit on the bed next to her as she pulls my hands from my face.

"Clary, you are not a horrible person." Izzy says reassuringly. That's easy for her to say. She's not the one hurting the man she loves (Jace) every second of every day and she also isn't keeping the fact that she also happens to be in love with someone else from her fiancee.

"Izzy, I am with Sebastian because I am in love with him. But at the same time, knowing that I am in love with someone else too feels like I am betraying him."

"It's not like you are running around on Sebastian...right?" Izzy asks with a hint of worry in her voice.

"No, of course not." I say and then I think about Jace kissing me last night. "Except for the fact that Jace kissed me last night before ya'll showed up." I watch as Izzy's face falls and she hangs her face in her hands as she slowly slides them down the length of it.

"Did you kiss him back?" She asks. "Not at first." I say hoping to defend myself just a little. "And then...I don't know what happened. It felt like something inside of me snapped and then I was kissing him back. _That_ is when I realized I was in love with him."

"Did it go any further than that?" she asks seriously.

I shake my head and say, "No. I stopped it when he started to kiss my neck. I closed my eyes and saw Sebastian's face." I look down at my hands in shame. I don't like admitting that I kissed another man while being engaged. It is not my proudest moment. "I then told him that even though I do love him, I can't be with him. I told him that I agreed to marry Sebastian..."

"You what?!" Izzy shouts. He must have not told anyone yet. I hold up my hand and she goes quiet so I can finish. "I told him that I was marrying Sebastian and that I was in love with him too. I told him that I would not go back on my word to him just because I loved him too. It killed me to do it, but I did."

"Awww, jeez Clary." Izzy says as she pulls me into another hug. "You just can't catch a break can you?" I chuckle a little without humor and say, "Neither can Jace. First he was possessed by Sophie, raped by her (by telling him to have sex with her while under her influence), and then he falls in love with a girl who is marrying someone else."

She sits up and she looks like she just realized something. "I never thought of Jace being raped but I guess the definition would fit in that situation. When his will was no longer his own."

"Yeah," I say agreeing with her. "I think Jace has had it the worst out of all of us."

I hear a noise then and look up to my mother looking concerned to me as she pushes in my door. Filing in the door behind us is Sebastian, Jonathan, Michael, and Adriana all looking flushed. Sebastian walks over to me and takes my hands in his as he sees my tear stroked face. "Are you okay?" he asks. I nod yes and say, "I just needed to get a few things out and vent to my best friend." I realize that that was the first time I had referred to Izzy as my best friend since I found out about everything and she wraps me in an awkward side hug. "Alright, Izzy." I say to her defeated. "You win. You are my best friend."

We all look up to my mother then as she has cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "The reason I have asked all of you here is that the Asmodei have opened up a grand portal." she says gravely. Sebastian's mother sucks in a shocked breath as his father brings his hand to the back of his neck in stress. "What is a grand portal?" I ask her.

"A grand portal is how we all got here." Mom says to me. "It requires a very skilled warlock and the help of someone or something powerful to make it. Usually another warlock. It allows you to travel from planet to planet and usually the force of maintaining a portal like that, kills or seriously hurts the warlock or warlocks that hold it open. The Asmodei have opened one up so more of them can come here and I think, attack the Institute in order to get to you."

"So what does that mean?" I ask her.

"That means that we are going to have to call all of our people here on Earth back to Idris, and take the fight to them. It isn't an ideal situation, but with you, Clary, on our side, we have a fighting chance to win this once and for all."

Michael speaks up then. "How are we going to get everyone here to portal them back home?"

My mother faces him as she says, "I have already sent word to the other Institutes to gather everyone on their census and bring them to the Institutes. A warlock will then make a portal at the exact time that we open our own grand portal here. People will leave from one portal and then into the next one to home."

"And when will this happen?" I ask my mother. She looks to me and says, "In the next 48 hours." The room goes quiet as everyone soaks in this information.

I look over to Sebastian and touch the spot where his ring should be (I forgot to put it on after my shower) and raise my brows at him as to say 'should we tell them now?' and he smiles and nods his head and then he says, "I guess this would be a bad time then to tell everyone that I asked Clary to marry me and she said yes." Our three parents look over to us, completely shocked and then their faces morph into huge smiles as Adriana jumps small jumps into the air as she claps her hands. My mother is smiling with pure happiness at me and then Adriana is wrapping me in a bone crushing hug. When she pulls back, she is smiling from ear to ear and kisses me on the cheek as she cups my face in her hands. "Oh, Clary" she says through her smile, "I am so happy for you both. I couldn't have hand picked anyone better for my baby boy."

I smile brightly at her as she pulls me in for another hug. I can see Sebastian's dad hugging him beside me, then followed by my mother who kisses him on the cheek and tells him she is so glad that I am marrying him. When Adriana lets me go, Michael is there to hug me tightly and then pull back and kiss me on the cheek as he says, "I am so glad that you decided to put up with him for the rest of your life." I give him a small laugh as he steps away. Mom is then in front of me and hugging me as she says, "I wish your father could be here to see how happy you are and how wonderful Sebastian is."

"Me too, mom." I reply and then Jonathan is in front of both Sebastian and me as he looks to Sebastian and says, "Good luck keeping her in line." as he nods his head towards me and continues looking at me as he says, "And hurry up and marry him before he realizes just how crazy you are." I narrow my eyes at him and punch him in the stomach. "And don't forget violent." he adds on as he bends over in pain. Sebastian is laughing hard now as he pats Jonathan on the back and says, "I will take her off your hands any day."

I smile up at my wonderful fiancee and he bends down and kisses me a little more passionately than I expected in front of our parents. I guess it's okay now since we are really and truly officially engaged. I pull back when his father does a wolf whistle and I blush embarrassingly bright.

My mother, thankfully, saves me by saying that there is a lot of work to do and that we should all get to it. Sebastian escorts me down to one of the smaller offices because apparently, I need to practice my runes and the library will be packed with tons of people trying to organize everything. He kisses me and then goes and joins everyone else in the library while I get lectured by Amatis. I wish I could say I was paying attention to her but all I kept thinking was, 'I get to see my home planet in two days'. I can't wait to tell Jace the good news.

* * *

 **The shit is about to hit the fan real soon and the story will be wrapped up. I have finally decided how the ending will go after fighting with myself for a while and I hope everyone likes it. Nawww, who am I kidding? Some will hate it but I think most will like it. I fully plan on writing an epilogue or a sequel but I just haven't decided yet. Till next time, thanks so much for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

The rest of the day goes by quickly. I finish my rune studies and then eat dinner in the dinning room with mine and Sebastian's family. Apparently, Adriana has already started to plan my wedding. There is this glass type building in the middle of the capital city of Idris, Allicante, called the Accords Hall where I will marry Sebastian and I will wear a fitted gold dress that flares out at my mid thigh. At least according to Adriana. Sebastian has to scold her a few times and remind her that it is our wedding and not hers. I can't help but be amused by the way Sebastian keeps looking at me apologetically as to say, 'I know she is crazy, but please still marry me anyway'. I grab his hand and smile at him to let him know she doesn't scare me away from him.

We go to bed and the next day flies by in a blur. I don't even see Jace at all. Izzy tells me he is helping pack up essential books and things like that all day. Everyone is being put to use doing something. Mom has me train with Jonathan for the most part of the day before we all collapse into bed that night.

I wake up before Sebastian does and I sit up straight in the bed. Tonight is the night we will go home. I have tried not to think about it so much because going 'home' means I leave this planet, the only home I have ever known. A part of me doesn't want to leave Earth. I make myself take a deep breath before I can go too far down that path and start to panic. I have to keep telling myself that I don't belong here. I look back at Sebastian whose body is mostly sticking out of the covers and see the runes covering his body and then I look down and see the runes on mine and then I don't feel so bad. I know I don't belong here and I shouldn't be sad to go home.

I lean over and kiss Sebastian's chest, hoping to wake him so he can make me feel better like he always does. He stirs in his sleep and rolls over and pulls me to him while he is still asleep. I decide to just snuggle into his arms while his presence stills my mind. Another half an hour passes before he finally wakes up. He sits up slightly and kisses my shoulder and neither one of us says a word as our kisses turn into making love. He is so sweet and so tender and caring yet passionate this time and it makes my heart crack open. When we finish he whispers in my ear that he loves me and everything will be alright and I suddenly don' t feel so bad anymore.

We go down and join everyone else for breakfast as people run through the halls hurriedly, carrying on whatever tasks were set before them. The Institute has filled with so many people in the past day with more pouring in. Magnus and his other warlock friend, Catarina, have developed some type of cloaking spell that allows people to portal into the Institute without the Asmodei detecting it. It takes one warlock to be on the receiving end and one on the other to open it with their spell.

When we are all done eating, my mother turns into business mode as she speaks. "Clary, I want you to rest most of the day since you will be helping Magnus with the portal tonight." I am supposed to help keep the portal open because of my abilities and that is fine by me. The fact that we have to set up the portal outside makes me incredibly nervous. The Consul and my mother are expecting some sort of battle with the Asmodei that wait outside and I really don't want to be a part of that. I know that we will create a 'safe zone' around the portals as our people hold off the Asmodei so we can make it home.

I nod my head in understanding and then Sebastian is kissing my hand and telling me that he is going to go and see if his parents need any help as they leave the room. I smile back at him and tell him I will see him later. Once he is gone, I look to Izzy and I know she knows what I want. "Where is he?" I ask her as I leave the dinning room.

"He is in the training room trying to teach the people assigned to the defense of the portals a few tricks." Izzy replies.

I look at her half in surprise and half in horror. "Why? Is he going to be one of the ones that is supposed to hold the Asmodei off?" Although I already know the answer, I want to hear it from her lips. "Yes. He is one of the ones organizing the whole thing." This sends me into panic mode. "Izzy, he can't. I can't let him get hurt! He should go through the portal with everyone else!" My voice is rising to a high pitched squeal by the end of my sentence and then Izzy is pulling me into a small room off of the main hall.

"Calm down, Clary." She sets me in a chair as she continues. "There is a reason he was assigned to you in the first place. It is because he is the best fighter we have. There hasn't been someone as good as him in a few generations. He will be fine, Clary."

"How do you know that, Izzy? You can't promise me that." I tell her as I put my head in my hands. "I have to see him." I mumble against them. I don't want to see the look of disapproval on her face when she hears me say that. I wait for a minute until she finally says. "Follow me." I look up at her and she is opening the door to the room and I follow her out. She takes me to a room close to the training room with a couple of small couches and long table. It looks like the room held meetings of some sort. She tells me to stay here and then she is gone. I twist my hands nervously as I wait. I am not sure what she is doing and not knowing is making me more and more nervous. I sit down on one of the couches and take long deep breaths to calm myself. I watch as the clock in the room ticks past me waiting five then ten minutes. Just as the fifteen minute mark approaches, I hear someone open the door and look up to my surprise and see Simon sticking his head in the door. "Simon?" I say in shock and then I see Jace push in the door behind him.

"Izzy and I switched places so no one would know you were in here since she is known to be your personal guard." Simon says explaining.

I smile at him and say, "Good thinking." and then he looks back at me and says, "I will just be leaning against the wall casually outside of the door. If someone wants to get in here, I will just make something up and then knock on the wall so you know to hurry up." He shuts the door behind him leaving me alone with Jace and I am so grateful Simon didn't have his judgmental 'voice' on when he was talking to me. I look up to Jace who has obviously been training as beads of sweat make his shirt cling to his body.

"I just wanted to see you one more time before tonight." I tell him as he walks slowly towards me. "Izzy told me that you are going to be one of the ones defending the portals. I don't like that idea."

He looks to me as he sits on the couch next to me. "Why? Are you afraid for my safety?" he says with disbelief.

"Yes, I am." I say sternly back to him. "I don't...you can't..." I am having trouble finding my words through the panic of the thought of him being hurt. "I don't know how I will live if you get hurt badly and I am not there to heal you or even worse...I can't..." I look down at my hands as I try to find my words. "You can't die. I won't survive it."

I see his hands come into my field of vision as he places his hands over mine. "I am going to be fine, Clary." I look up at him and meet his golden eyes. "I am not as easy to kill as you think." he says with a smile on his face as he speaks the words I said to him about me. I smile back at him and bring one of my hands to his face and rest it over his cheek. "Promise me you will be careful. Don't take too many risks and don't be a cowboy and try to do everything yourself."

He brings his hand to rest over mine on his face and holds it there as he closes his eyes and says, "I promise." He then turns his head into my hand and kisses it fervently and then I am leaning forward towards him. I bring my lips to his and kiss him, closed mouthed, softly and sweetly and I linger on his lips for a few seconds. I pull back and he leans in and gives me another peck and then I rest my hand on his chest over his heart and feel his heart pounding in his chest. "Your heart is racing." I say quietly and smile gently as I look back up to his face. "It always does whenever you touch me." he whispers and I almost lean in and kiss him again. Instead I look into his eyes and say lowly, "I love you, Jace."

He smiles gently back at me and trails his fingers down my face as he says, "I love you too, Clary." I take a deep breath and stand up and he does the same. He turns to leave and when he gets to the door, he turns around and smiles widely at me. "I will only take on twice as many Asmodei as the rest of them instead of three times which was the original plan."

"Jace!" I say scolding his joking tone and he leaves the room with a small chuckle on his lips. I smile a little at him and his horrible joke and touch my lips like I can hold his kiss on my skin forever. Simon comes in the room shortly after Jace has left and joins me on the couch as I sit back down. "Izzy told me about the whole situation between you and Jace and Sebastian." He says looking knowingly into my eyes. "I hope you don't mind that she told me."

I shake my head. "No. I kind of expected it since you two tell each other everything and you are both my best friends." I look at him to gauge his response as I ask him, "Do you think I am a bad person? I just wanted to see him one more time before tonight. To tell him to be safe."

Simon's face remains the same, for which I am thankful for, as he says, "You are not a bad person for being in love with two people and then wanting to make sure one of them is okay and will be careful before a big fight." He smiles sweetly at me as he says this, "It only makes you human." I look up at him and smile as I begin to laugh. "Yeah, I am _so_ human." I am suddenly so glad that Simon is coming with us. That he gave up everything to be with Izzy and me. I wrap him in a big hug and hold him there for a minute. "I am so glad I get to bring you with me." I say into his ear.

"Yeah, well, you had better know how much I love you." Simon says as he pulls away. I smile brightly back at him and give him kiss on the cheek just as Izzy is walking back into the room.

"So, how did it go?" Izzy asks me.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I guess it went fine. I told him not to die and he said okay."

"Well good." She says as she leans down and kisses Simon quickly. "Now it's time for you to go back to your room and pack some essentials. There is a rune I will show you that acts as a kind of like an extension to your bag so you can put a lot of stuff in it and it not be heavy."

I stand up, suddenly very excited. "You mean I could have a never ending bag like Hermoine did in the last Harry Potter book?"

She rolls her eyes heavily as Simon laughs. "You are such a nerd." she mutters to herself. "No wonder you and Simon get along so well."

"Is that a yes?" I ask her with pure anticipation and excitement. "Yes. It's a yes." Izzy says as I begin to jump up and down and clap my hands. When I gain control of myself again, I grab Izzy's hand and pull her to the door as I say, "Then what are we waiting for?!" We go back to my room, the whole time I am squealing like a little girl as I shove stuff into my bottomless bag. I put Sebastian's guitar and his toothbrush and all of the clothes he has in my room into it and then I am putting all of my art supplies he gave me in there with everything else. And just because I can, I shove random things in there like the witchlight lamp and the comforter. Izzy has to stop me when I try to put myself in it. "I just wanted to see what it looked like in there." I say with my voice raised high in defense.

"Have you packed everything, Izzy? Do you want me to help you?" I ask hoping she will say yes. I just really want to put stuff in this bag.

"I already packed last night." she says with warning. I know she knows that I just want to put more stuff in the bags.

"Dammit." I mutter under my breath. "So, what do we do now?" I ask looking around. It is only around noon and we are leaving at nine tonight. What on earth am I going to do for nine hours since my mother won't let me do anything other than 'rest'.

Izzy smiles brightly and I realize that I shouldn't have asked her that. I know what Izzy's idea is going to be to pass the time. She stands up from the bed where she is sitting and looks down at me. "I am going to give you a battle ready makeover." I groan loudly and start to turn to run, but she grabs my wrist so there is no escape. "Can't this at least wait till after lunch?" I bargain. I know I have no chance of getting her to change her mind so I will postpone it for as long as I can.

She looks at the clock on the wall and then back at me and says, "Yes. But it is totally going to happen, so don't think that you can weasel your way out of it."

I bring my hand to my heart and let a mock hurt look cross my face as I say, "I wouldn't dream of trying to."

We go downstairs and eat a sandwich from the kitchen and as we are leaving, Sebastian walks in. He gives me a few quick kisses and tries to convince Izzy to let me stay and all she says is that we have super secret girl stuff to do. As she drags me out of the kitchen, I look back to Sebastian and mouth 'help me' and all he does is laugh. Traitor.

Izzy sits me down on the toilet in the bathroom and gets to work. I don't know how long I sat there while she plucked my brows, which didn't need to be plucked, and then she is attacking my eyes with eye shadow. I try to sneak a few peaks but she won't let me and I give up after the third attempt. When she is done, she pulls me into my room where we had already laid out the gear for me to put on. It is some of the nicest gear I have seen; but of course it would be. I'm a princess. After she gets done dressing me. She braids my hair against my head that starts on one side and then wraps around my head and then comes down in front on the other side in an intricate pattern and rests in front of me. She pulls me up and walks me over to the wardrobe and I suspect she wants me to look in the long mirror on the inside door of it.

"Okay. I am going to open the door and when I do, you are going to be blown away." Izzy says excitedly. I roll my eyes and just say "Let's just get this over with." She places her hand on the door and then counts down from three. "Three, two, one!" and she flings the door open.

I look in the mirror and I swear that someone else has taken my place in front of the mirror. The woman staring back at me is really, really hot. Izzy has done my makeup in smoky grays and blacks and my eyelashes look like those mascara models on the commercials. My eyes pop out of my head, a radiant green and my lips have a shade of gloss on them that is almost exactly the natural shade of my lips, except they look full and pouty.

I turn to one side to get the profile view and then back to face the mirror. "What in the hell did you do to me? I look super hot and like a total bad-ass!"

Izzy folds her arms across her chest and brings one of her hands up and buffs her nails on her shoulder as she says, "Oh, it was no biggie. I have a good base to start out with."

Sebastian has perfect timing as he picks this exact moment to come back to our room. I see the door open in the mirror and turn around to meet Sebastian's eyes. They scan the room and when they find me, they widen in surprise as his mouth pops open and just hangs there. I smile at his utter shock and do a slow turn while holding my arms slightly out to my side as I say, "Izzy got a hold of me."

He breaks his eye contact with my body and then is walking over to Izzy. He wraps her in a big hug as he says, "Thank you so much, Izzy." He lets her go and then walks over to me and places his hands on my hips as he says lowly, "I had this really hot dream about you just after we met and you looked amazingly almost exactly like you do now. You kicked my ass and then threw me onto the bed and then you..."

" _Aaaand_ that's my cue to leave." Izzy says as she practically runs to the door. I laugh a little and then Sebastian is picking me up before she even closes the door and he takes me to the bed. "If you mess up my hair, Izzy will kill you." I say to him as a warning. When he is finally done with me, we both head downstairs and into the weapons room to stock up. By the time we are done, we head to the kitchen where practically everything is bare and make some sandwiches for dinner. As the clock ticks down and gets closer and closer to nine, I get more and more nervous. I have tried not to think too much about it but now that we have to go meet my mother in the library with all of the other 'big shots' for tonight, I feel like I might throw up.

We push through the door and the library is filled with about 40 people. Everyone, even my mother, is wearing thick black gear and decked to the ears in an array of weapons. Even through the crowd, I spot Jace almost instantly. He is standing in a corner of the room talking with Diana and two other people I am not familiar with. He looks up like he can sense my gaze on him and he locks eyes with me. His face is almost the same as Sebastian's was. His eyes widen and his mouth falls slightly agape and then he rakes his eyes up and down my body as he bites his bottom lip and I am suddenly blushing. This is not the first time I think to myself 'why does he have to be so _fucking_ hot?!' as he turns on his 'sex' eyes at me. Sebastian, who had stopped to talk to someone, then comes to stand beside me and gives me a reprieve from Jace's eyes. I look up at him and he smiles sexily down at me as he whispers, "I just want to take you back up to that room and tear your clothes off again with the way you look in that gear. You might single handedly defeat the Asmodei just by winking at them. Their hearts would stop beating immediately."

I just roll my eyes at him until he smiles his 'sex' smile at me and then I find myself thinking 'why does _he_ have to be so fucking hot?'. I break my eye contact with him because I cannot take my hormones raging the way the are now. Now I know why so many teenagers end up pregnant all of the time. These teenage hormones have me panting like a dog at Jace and Sebastian.

"Alright, everyone." My mother calls the room to attention. "This is going to be a lot like eighteen years ago except that there are more people going through this time which is exactly the way we wanted it when we first came here. There will be a lot of moving parts to this effort that will need to run smoothly in order for there to be limited casualties." A low murmur runs across the room. "Yes, yes. I know that none of us want to admit it, but I think it would be foolish to think that the Asmodei will allow us to go, unscathed. What warlocks are left, save the two that have turned to the Asmodei, have set up a powerful protection spell around the area that we will be in. That should hold them off for a while and let us get most of our people through. We are expecting it to take at the very least an hour for all of our people to run through their respective portals and into the grand portal. The portals should be set fairly close to our grand one so the transition will be quick." She looks to me and then to Magnus and then to who I am assuming is another warlock as she is blue. Like sky blue. "My daughter, Magnus Bane, and Catarina Loss will take turns holding the portal open so as not to strain any of them too much. The grand portal will open up in our capital city of Allicante where the protection spell still holds true. Ragnor Fell's sacrifice will never be forgotten for his protection of our city." Sebastian takes my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. The story of how Ragnor Fell used his body as a conductor for the most powerful spell that has ever been cast, was one that stuck with me. He had lived over twenty-five hundred years and sacrificed himself so that we would have a safe place to return to when we were ready.

"There will be a perimeter of our best fighters," Mom continues, "that will be ready to meet the Asmodei head on if and/or when the protective barrier falls. Diana Wrayburn and Jace Herondale have come up with the best strategy to sustain the least amount of casualties." My eyes dart over to Jace and a part of me is proud of him for being picked as one of the 'leaders'. "This is why I have called all of you here. Each of you is in charge of some aspect of tonight. I need all of you to work together and efficiently if this is going to be a success. I expect nothing less than your best tonight."

I am shocked when the whole room bows gently to my mother and then they are leaving. The room clears of everyone except for a few of the 'main' people of the night. Myself, Sebastian, Jonthan, Magnus, Catarina, Michael (the Consul), Adriana, Jia Penhallow (commander of Shadowhunter operations), my mother and all of our respective body gaurds. My mother, Jia, and Michael all go over the plan again with us. Magnus and I will open the portal and then once it is open, Magnus will take the first shift, then Catarina then me. We each hold it open for fifteen minutes and then rest and recharge. Sebastian and his parents will be coordinating the flow of people into the grand portal and there will be an interior barrier of fighters surrounding us and then a larger barrier of fighters (the one Jace will be in) around the edge of the protection barrier, just waiting for it to fall. The thought of Jace right there when the barrier falls, fills me such a horrible dread. I have this sick feeling in my stomach that I can't get rid of that tells me something horrible is going to happen tonight. I try to shake it off as eight o'clock approaches and we all fall into our own respective parts of the library. We are going to get into our positions at eight-thirty with all of our belongings strapped to our backs in our bottomless bags the size of a bag of chips.

"Sebastian," I say to him as I am snuggled under his arm on the couch, "I'm scared." I hate to admit any weakness but with him, I feel as thought it is okay to let him know my fears.

He looks down at me from where I turned my face up to his and says, "Me too." He leans his head down slightly and kisses me on my forehead and then we fall into a comfortable silence as we wait for eight-thirty to roll around.

"Alright, everybody, time to get down to it." Mom says as she stands up and looks meaningfully at Luke. I am pretty sure they are in love even though she refuses to talk to anyone about it until she is 'sure' of him, as she says way too often when the subject comes up.

Neither Sebastian or I say a word as we walk outside to where the portal is going to be. We just walk silently hand in hand letting just each other's presence comfort each other. Just when we reach the spot where it is all going to go down, I see a group of familiar faces gathered together laughing. I smile hugely as who they are register in my brain. Bat, Jordan, Maia, Aline, Helen, Simon, and Jon Cartwright are all grouped together. They look up as I approach and then I don't know what has gotten into me but I am running to them. I don't care that they lied to me anymore. I am just glad to see all of the people I loved from my 'normal life' here with me. Jordan opens up his arms for me and at the last second, Bat steps in front of him and I end up jumping into his arms as he smiles widely at me. "Clary, it is so good to see you again!" Bat says in my ear. He sets me down and then I am passed around from person to person for huge hug after huge hug. Although, when I get to Jon C, things are a bit more awkward as he looks over my shoulder at Sebastian. I glance back to my fiancee who is giving Jon a straight up death glare and I punch him lightly in the gut. "Ease up there Sebastian." and I turn around and Jon gives me a quick hug while he holds his body as far away from me as he can possibly manage. Jon looks up sheepishly at Sebastian as he says, "So you're Jon Cartwright." in his deep voice that is slightly menacing.

Jon nervously clears his throat as he says, "So you are the one who finally stole Clary's heart."

"Yes, I am." Sebastian says deeply as he wraps his arm around my waist possessively.

"Well congratulations man. I tried for over a year and it never worked." Jon says, hoping to get Sebastian to stop staring at him like he is seconds away from kicking his ass. I look over to all of my friends who have stopped whatever they were doing to watch the exchange between my ex and my fiancee. Jordan is actually eating imaginary pop corn as he motions like he is throwing pieces of it in his mouth. I roll my eyes at the pissing contest that Jon and Sebastian have gotten into and I turn to my brother who, surprisingly, has a bag of his favorite cheesy puffs in his hand and is eating them.

"Seriously, Jonathan?!" I ask in disbelief. He looks at me confused and defensive as he says, "What did I do now?" Alec snatches the bag away from him and tosses them to Jordan. He passes the bag around to everyone and when it gets back to my brother, there are only a few of them left. "What was that for?" he says upset.

"Sharing is caring." Bat says as he licks the orange powder off of his fingers. Myself, Sebastian, Alec and most of the others burst out laughing and I can't help think how much I needed this.

When the laughing dies down, I look over to Maia and see that Bat and Jordan's competition for her love is still in full swing. I walk over to her and nod to Bat and Jordan who have taken to sparring without weapons to impress her. "You still haven't picked one of those fools yet?" I ask her lowly. She turns her face to me and it is the picture of annoyance. "I am so glad I don't have to pretend to like you anymore." she says with a snarky tone to her voice. My face falls instantly and my heart fills like a lead weight. I always knew this was a possibility after what happened with Sebastian's 'friend'...

"Clary, earth to Clary." Maia says trying to pull me out of my spiral of self pity. "I was just kidding. I absolutely love you and your horrible sportsmanship."

I narrow my eyes at her with annoyance and flick her hard in the arm as I mutter, " _That_ was not funny." as she laughs hysterically.

"Oh, come on, Clary! You have to admit that it was just a little bit funny." she says smiling at me. I fold my arms across my chest and pout as I mutter again, "No I don't." She leans over and whispers in my ear and says, "If you forgive me, I will tell you who I am going to pick."

I turn my head to her and smile widely and nod. She whispers in my ear who she is going to pick and I shout loudly, "I knew it!" as she motions for me to keep it down. I look back to my friends and then I begin to wonder why they are all here. "Why are all of you here?" I ask as they turn to look at me. Jordan steps forward and takes my hands as he looks into my eyes and says, "Because we wanted to be. We refused to be anywhere other than by your side to protect you tonight as you hold the portal open. We grew up with you and you are our friend. We have been a part of your protection detail all of our lives and that is what we plan on being tonight. It's us and you against the world, babe."

I catch a tear as it slips out of my eye and pull him in for another hug as I say so everyone can hear, "I love all of ya'll." Everyone then closes around me for a group hug and Aline even pulls Sebastian in as he rounds out the circle. We all let go as we hear my mother approach and say "I hate to break up this love fest..." and then Bat pulls her into the circle and we all come back together for a hug as Jordan stage whispers, "Feel the love, Mrs. M."

"Alright, alright." she says while laughing. She lets us hug for a few more seconds and then pulls back and then we all break apart. "It is time to get into your positions. It is only five minutes away." Everyone looks at each other meaningfully and then they are making a wide arch around me. Sebastian looks down to me and strokes his fingers lightly down the side of my face as he says, "I love you, Clary. More than you can know." I reach up on the tip of my toes and kiss him good and hard and then pull back as I look into his eyes and say, "I love you too." He bends down and kisses me one last time and with a few backwards glances at me, he goes and joins my friends as part of my protection. Like my friends, he refused to be anywhere else other than by my side, protecting me.

Once his back is to me, I try to look past everyone and everything to see if I can see Jace with no such luck. The edge of the barrier is too far away. My mother had told the 'big shots' in private after everyone else had left the library, that the Asmodei had gathered all of their forces, thousands strong, here at the Institute. They knew something was going to happen and would be waiting for their shot to attack. This knowledge scares the crap out of me as the man I love will be right there and be one of the first ones to be attacked.

I push that thought away and clear my mind. I need to focus. I take my imaginary cloth and wipe my canvas clean till it is blank and then I am able to focus. I walk over to where Magnus is and he smiles gently as he says, "Are you ready, biscuit?" I give him a weak smile back. "As ready as I will ever be." I reply and then my mother and Jonathan appear about thirty feet away and nods to us. Five portals open up around us and people start to file through. Magnus places his hand on my shoulder and I feel an immense surge of energy and pure power course through my veins. I raise my stele in the air and begin to draw a rune that is very similar to a portal rune, just a little more complicated. It was one of the first runes that came to me when I first got here. I only figured out what it was during my rune studies three days ago to my mother's happy surprise.

The drawing in the air leaves golden lines floating in the air as my hand pulses a bright gold color and then the rune is done. I let my hand fall to my side as my mouth hangs open and I watch the grand portal open up. The swirling that starts in between my mother, Jonathan, and me is a bright purple color that pulses like my hand does. As I watch, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it goes from me to my mother, thirty feet away, and stretches to about fifteen feet high. I step back in amazement as the first people step through it. Magnus had given me a picture of where to imagine while I drew the rune, in my mind and the place was beautiful. The buildings looked like they were made of glass and the grass was the most vibrant shade of green while the sky was like a deep blue teal color that you see at those beaches in some place exotic like Tahiti.

Within a minute, the crowd of people coming from a portal and into the grand portal is astounding. Everyone is moving quickly, with no time to spare. I look as children are being dragged by their parents and siblings along and the elderly are being helped by their loved ones. The crowd of people is so thick, I imagine that there must be over a hundred and fifty people a minute going through the grand portal back to our home. I had no idea there were so many of us here.

The first thirty minutes go by quickly while the volume of people filing through never falters. Catarina looks over to me as I approach the portal, knowing it is my turn to hold it open. I am a little nervous about it since I saw Magnus had to regain his strength after his turn by taking energy from two separate shadowhunters

I pull out my stele and set it to the side of the portal. Catarina looks at me and says, "You got this?"

"Yes." I reply surely. The moment she releases her hold on it, the force of it takes my breath away. I watch as my hand glows brightly with power; more power than I thought I was able to have coursing through my veins. I do good for the first ten minutes and then my energy starts to drain. Magnus sees this and touches my shoulder and floods me with energy. When he removes his hand, I am able to refocus. I close my eyes and concentrate and when I do this, I find it easier to hold the portal open than before. I find the source of my power deep inside of me and pull it out to my hand and push it into my stele. After this, holding it open is a piece of cake. When my time is up, I look to Magnus who is supposed to be my relief and tell him I am okay for a little while longer. He begins to argue and I just give him a look of 'no really. I got this' and he backs away. Another ten minutes go by with me feeling fine but Magnus reappears and absolutely insists on taking over and I let him. As soon as I remove my stele, I realize that I mostly feel fine. I am a little weary, but for the most part, I feel fine. Catarina comes up to me and touches my shoulder and floods my body with energy the same way Magnus did and it replenishes whatever energy I had lost.

I look up to my friends who are nervously glancing back in my direction to check on me, and I smile to let them know I am fine. I am actually more than fine. I feel fantastic! I think I am finally beginning to figure out how to use my gift and it is amazing. It has been over an hour and twenty minutes now of a steady flow of people leaving from their portals and into the grand portal and the barrier is still holding. I look back to Magnus and see that his time is coming to an end and Catarina is beginning to get ready. I watch as Magnus releases his hold on the portal and practically falls to the ground completely drained. I see him reach out to the shadowhunters who were assigned to help him replenish his energy and then he is getting up after wards. I help him up and then the world begins to come crashing down.

I look up to the sky and see that the barrier is snapping down and my heart sinks in my chest. "Jace." I say in the tiniest whisper. I look back to my friends who have now taken up a new stance that is tense and ready to fight. I remind myself that this is what was expected but seeing it actually happen is a whole other story. The worry and dread that I feel for all of our people and the people I love is overwhelming. I can hear yelling and screaming coming from far in the distance now and I panic at the thought that some of those screams could be coming from my Jace. I close my eyes and take deep breaths as I try to calm myself. When I reopen them, I survey my surroundings. I look to the flow of people going into the portal and determine that it isn't as thick as it was before so that must mean that we are getting close to being done. I look to my friends, who aren't sparing a backwards glance to me now that they are on full alert, and determine that they are all okay. I look to Sebastian who has pulled out his sword and he is so much taller than everyone else and so much more beautiful as he readies to defend me against whatever may come.

Another ten minutes pass and I can now hear the sounds of fighting clearly. I hear the clash of metal against metal and the grunts and screams of the people involved and I want to scream because I don't know if Jace is okay. I can see Sebastian is fine but I can't see if Jace is and it is driving me crazy. Another five minutes pass and then it is my turn to hold the portal open. I can see the fighting just starting to be visible in the distance and why does it have to be my turn now? I tear my eyes away from what people I can see who are fighting and turn back to the portal with my stele out. I close my eyes and refocus myself on the spot of my power deep inside of me and I put the stele to the portal. As soon as Catarina releases her hold, I feel the power flow through me again and I know without looking that the pulsating glowing has returned to my hand.

I open my eyes and look back to the slowly advancing line of fighting. I then turn my head to the other portals from the other Institutes and see that three out of the five has closed and only two remain with a fairly steady flow of people pouring from them and into the grand portal I am holding open. I close my eyes and just focus on the portal before I start to worry about what is happening out at the line of fighting. What feels like only ten minutes go by before I can no longer focus solely on the portal and I open my eyes to the sound of fighting that has gotten unbelievably close. I look to just beyond the two remaining open portals and I see that the Asmodei are there, fighting with our people quite viciously. I take a long and purposeful deep breath before I can freak out about Jace and I force myself to slowly rake my eyes along the line of fighting to look for him. I get halfway down the line before I spot his brilliant golden hair and I smile an almost giddy smile of relief. I watch as Jace swings his sword in one hand and slices through them while the other hand is holding a dagger that stabs any Asmodei that gets too close. He looks glorious fighting so gracefully and a pang of love floods through me for him.

Just as I am tearing my eyes away from him, I look to my left and see that the line of fighting has broken through and Asmodei are surging forward toward me. I suck in a breath as I see all of my friends and Sebastian turn towards them and form a line to meet them with. Now, I am terrified for my fiancee and my friends. I look to Sebastian as he glances at me one more time before the Asmodei warriors clash with him and silent communication passes between us. I tell him 'I love you and be careful' and he tells me 'I love you too and I will' and then he is turning to meet the raging Asmodei head on.

I watch as he spins and dodges the sword that was meant for his abdomen and he slices that guy's throat and he falls to the ground. I look to Izzy who is in the middle of slicing some guy's hand off with her electrum whip while Simon finishes him off by stabbing him in the eye. I see Bat and Jordan easily cutting down a few of the Asmodei and Maia and Aline are tag teaming some giant warrior the size of Sebastian. I look out back to where I saw Jace and realize that our line of defense is falling, and falling fast. I look over to the portals and see that we are just down to one that people are still flowing thickly from. 'Why don't they hurry up!' I scream to myself. Catarina suddenly appears next to Sebastian and she is throwing some sort of light balls at the Asmodei and they explode causing pretty extensive damage. Once our enemy sees how much devastation she is causing, they quickly concentrate their efforts on her. I can see her knock away arrow after arrow and dodge attack after attack with Sebastian's help. He is fighting wonderfully and is a better fighter than I thought. I suddenly become mad when I think of him going easy on me in training just so I could win and I would be in a good mood. I don't like winning like that and I make a mental note to get him to really fight me when we get to Allicante.

I turn my attention back to Jace and I see that he and the line of defense has been pushed back frighteningly close and my heart rate picks up to an unbelievable pace. I look nervously back to the only remaining portal open and I see that the flow of people from it are finally starting to slow. I turn my attention back to my friends just in time to see an Asmodei warrior stab Jordan through with a sword. I see the sword protruding from his back and then the sword is removed and he falls to the ground. " _NO_!" I shout loudly. Jordan who is always so happy and so full of life. Jordan who always makes everyone smile with his stupid antics with trying to win Maia's heart. I see Maia glance at his body and I see the unbearable pain spread across her face as she sees that now it didn't matter that she had picked him. He was no longer alive and therefore would never know that she loved him.

My eyes break away from the awful scene as I still hold the grand portal open and I look to see that Jace has been pushed back to the same line that my friends and Sebastian had formed. I can see the bloodthirsty looks on the Asmodei's faces and then, _holy shit_ , I see Sophie...and she is holding some sort of cup a little behind the front line. The cup looks so familiar and then it hits me. It is the Infernal Cup that the demon Lilith used to turn the first shadowhunters into Asmodei. She is looking purposefully between me and Sebastian and Jace who are now fighting almost side by side. I panic and turn my head to look for Magnus to tell him to take the portal but I find him fighting Asmodei along side everyone else and I realize I can't help them. All I can do is watch.

I look the where the men I love are and watch in horror as she pushes closer and closer to them. I see Sebastian notice her before Jace does and his fighting falters for a moment and he is nicked on his arm by one of the Asmodei's daggers. Jace is still fighting expertly and then I see him notice her, looking right at her, when she shouts his name and smiles brightly at him. She holds her arms out to him, clearly expecting him to run into them, and Jace throws a throwing knife at her which she dodges just in time for it to fly by her face. Her eyes widen with shock and then a look of immense hurt crosses her face and then she is fuming mad. She yells something in their demonic language and then the fighting seems to focus itself on the two men I love. I scream " _NO!_ " again and then Sophie looks up to me and smiles the darkest smile I have ever seen.

They are only about fifteen feet away now and I see the last portal close and then I see my mother and Jonathan looking to me worriedly. I watch as Jonathan pulls out a sword and a kindjal and runs to join the intense fighting on my side of the portal. My mother is then running towards me and I look back to see Jonathan join the fighting. I watch as he slices a warrior literally in half and then I look to see everyone slowly backing up towards the grand portal. I have to hold it open for everyone to get through.

I look over to where Jace and Sebastian are when I hear panicked yelling and I see three Asmodei warriors grab Sebastian and pull him into their line. "Sebastian, no!" I scream torturedly and I look quickly back to Magnus to get him to take the portal and I see him being pulled over to the portal by two shadowhunters while he leaves a trail of blood behind him. He had been hurt and so now I really have no choice but to hold it open for everyone. I snap my head back to where I saw Sebastian being pulled into the crowd and I feel a tear slip down my face. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Then I realize they didn't kill him when they clearly could have. I crane my neck and then I see Sophie climbing onto some sort of platform and Sebastian being pulled behind her while he is bound and gagged.

"Let him _go!_ " I scream loudly, knowing it will do no good and she just laughs. I see her bring the cup to Sebastian's lips and I feel like my heart is a lead weight in my chest as it falls into my stomach. She wants to turn him into Asmodei. She doesn't want to kill him. She wants me to watch as she takes everything I love away from me. I see another throwing knife fly at her face and watch in surprise as a warrior steps in the way of it and he is stabbed in the arm. He doesn't move from his spot, now blocking her from anymore knives thrown at her and I see more that are ready to take his place if he should fall. I look back to Sebastian who is looking directly into my eyes and his eyes are full of an apology for me. I watch in absolute horror as she pulls down his gag and he presses his lips shut tight. Another Asmodei warrior walks up and repeatedly begins to punch Sebastian in the stomach.

" _Somebody_ help him!" I scream out and then the warrior lands a punch that makes him cough from the force of it and Sophie jams the cup to his mouth and turns it upward. "NO!" I scream again and then he is shaking violently. I watch him fall to the ground and I think I can literally hear my heart breaking. I see Jace sees what is going on and he becomes this fierce fighting machine as he begins to hack his way through Asmodei after Asmodei in an effort to get to him, but I know it is already too late. I watch as my fiancee stands up slowly and looks back to me and I no longer see the man I love. I see a bottomless pit as his eyes bore into mine and I can just barely keep standing on my own two feet. My heart feels like it is being choked to death and I hear my mother say it's time. I look to her and she is crying too as she was watching what I was and then I look back to see our line, including Jace, falling back towards me fairly quickly. Someone has sounded the retreat to the portal and I watch as all of my friends and the other fighters one by one slip into the portal. I watch as Magnus is dragged, still bleeding, by two shadowhunters through the portal and then the fighting is only a few feet away from me.

Catarina suddenly appears at my side with blood covering the front of her shirt and she screams "Let go! I've got it. Go home, Princess" and I release my hold on the portal. I stand there and pull out my throwing knives and begin to release them with surgical precision driving back a few of the fighters. My mother tugs on my arm to go and I shake her off. I will _not_ leave without Jace. I hear someone shout something and then everyone is running for the grand portal. I stand my ground for a few more seconds and release a few more knives and then I feel Jace wrap his arm around my waist and pull me back into the portal. The tumbling and twisting and falling sensation is intense and after an excruciatingly long time of about fifteen seconds, I hit hard ground and tumble. I flip a few times and see where the portal was, snap closed, and then I stop. I look around panicked and see that Jace is lying face down on the ground not moving at all and there is blood covering the back of his shirt. I scream "Jace!" and then I am running to him. I pull out my stele that Sebastian gave me and I rip his shirt open and put the tip of it to his skin.

I close my eyes and put all of my energy into drawing an iratze on him. When I get done, I look down and watch it sink into his skin and then wait. Five painstakingly long seconds pass before he begins to move. I stick my hands under him and pull with all of my might and flip him over so I can see his face. His eyes are scrunched tight and I see him furrow his brows under the bright sun of our home world. I put my hands on either side of his face and say "Jace? Can you hear me?" and he smiles the tiniest smile with his eyes still shut tight. "I'm okay." he croaks out hoarsely and I let out a huge sigh of relief.

That is when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Izzy standing above me with a grave look on her face. "What is it Izzy?" I ask suddenly worried. A tear slips out of her eye as she looks in a different direction. I follow her gaze and see what is making her so sad. I look up a tiny hill, only about twenty feet away, and see that my brother has my mother lying in his lap. He is clutching her as he rocks her limp body back and forth and I see he is shaking with sorrow.

"No, no, no, no, no, _NO_! Not _Mom_!" I shout as I am pulling myself to my feet. I am suddenly moving the lead weights that have now taken the place of my feet, and then I am falling to the ground on the other side of my mother's blood stained body and see a bloodied throwing knife laying in the grass. I pull out my stele and set it to her skin and draw the most powerful iratze I have ever drawn and watch in horror as it just fades away, doing nothing. "No, Jonathan, this can't be happening again. I can't lose her!" I shout as sobbing begins to take over. Jonathan is clutching her tightly to his chest and is shaking with his own sobs as I lean forward and take her hand and pull it to my face as I try to feel her hand on me one last time and then my vision completely blurs with tears as a gut wrenching scream makes it's way out of my throat. I vaguely register Luke sobbing into his hands a few feet away and then I feel arms around me. I reach up and touch them as I hear Jace whisper in my ear, "I'm here." and my sorrow completely takes over and I don't stop sobbing for a very long time.

I don't know how much time has passed, two maybe three hours, before Jace is able to pull me into a standing position as people come up and wrap her in white linens and take her body away. Jonathan looks over to me, completely lost, and we just end up hugging each other for the longest time. We lean on each other as we make our way through the city gates and find that there are people lining the sides of the streets and are kneeling as my mother's body and Jonathan and I pass. Apparently word has spread that their Queen has died and the whole of our population has come out to pay their respects. Barely a sound is heard except for the occasional sound of crying coming from someone in the crowd or one of us walking with her body. I can't even appreciate the utter beauty of the glass city because my heart is so broken.

The next two days are a blur. Michael thankfully organizes her funeral while dealing with the fact that Sebastian is now an Asmodei and all I had to do was sit in my room and cry. The fact that what was supposed to be my mother's room that was now mine, certainly didn't help me feel any better. Jonathan and I actually sleep in the same bed every night and just hold hands to comfort each other the way we did when we were kids. We watch my mother's body burn with everyone dressed in the most elegant white mourning clothes and I look down and notice for the first time the beautiful dress Izzy had put me in. I watch as they put her ashes in the royal tomb next to the grandmother I never knew and then I go back to my room where I have to prepare for my crowning tomorrow. I have refused to see Jace so far but I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I can feel my heart and body calling to him. I feel like I need to punish myself for not saving my mother and being so worried about my own love life, that I didn't worry about her getting hurt.

The next day is full of shadowhunter ceremony after shadowhunter ceremony. Izzy's mom has taken it upon herself to stand in for my mother and explain everything to me before it happens. It all leads to me sitting on a singular modest throne and having a modest adamas crown placed on my head while I watch as everyone in the city kneels to me. As I stand and descend my new throne as Queen, I reach down and pick up Michael and Adriana Verlac and make them a promise I fully intend to keep. "I will find Sebastian and put the rune of heavenly fire on him to burn away all that is evil in him. I will bring back the man I love and I will save him if it is the last thing I do." Until then...

I leave the room and whisper in Izzy's ear and then she is off on the task I set before her. I go to my room and toss the crown on my desk and then face the door and wait. Ten minutes pass before Jace walks in the door and I am kissing him. I pull back long enough to whisper, "Make me forget." and he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist as he carries me to my bed.

* * *

 **Phew! That took a lot out of me! I fully intend on writing and epilogue that is a few months down the road or a sequel where she goes to war with the Asmodei on Idris and tries to save Sebastian. Which one should I do? I just really hope that all of you didn't absolutely hate the ending.**

 **I also wanted to emphatically thank every single person that took time out of their day to read my story. It truly means the world to me.**


	22. Epilogue

**Four months later...**

I walk down the corridor that leads to the room we have nicknamed the 'war room'. It is where most of the strategizing for the war happens. The fighting started exactly one month after my coronation and I have been at almost every single battle. My gift has proven to be incredibly useful.

There are a number of runes that I have come up with and they have been wonderfully successful. But I have to say that my favorite is still the ice rune. With the use of that one rune, there have been thousands and thousands of my people's lives saved and have allowed us to win countless battles. We have been able to push back the Asmodei to one side of our planet, Idris. The reason for this is because of Jace. He has proven himself to be an astounding strategist and general to our people. His plans of attack have been brilliant and because of this and the combination of my gift, I can see an end to this forsaken war within the next six months. We fully expect for the Asmodei to pull out all of the stops to prevent them from losing what hold they have left, but I know they won't be successful. I know because of the spy rune that came to me one night. It allows me to spy on a particular person at anytime and I can see and hear what they are saying and doing meaning that I know their every move before they make it.

It is also how I know that my Sebastian will be riding with a small group of Asmodei to a small village near our line of warriors and that is when I have planned to catch him and bring him back here. I have been watching him everyday for the past month and have been waiting for this opportunity. He is mostly with his sister, Sophie, but today will be different. Sometimes when I spy on him, I see things that I don't like. I have seen him with at least two other Asmodei women and it was like a knife to my stomach. I know that who he is now, isn't really him and I have to remind myself of that over and over again. He wouldn't have done those things if he were himself. He just wouldn't.

Although, I don't really have much room to talk. I did sleep with Jace the day of my coronation, twice. I needed the physical and emotional distraction that only he could bring. I had just lost my mother and Sebastian in one foul swoop. In the month before that, I lost everything that I thought I knew about myself and everyone I loved. I couldn't hold it together anymore and I wanted to forget about everything, if only for just a short time. I knew that the only person who could do that was Jace. For one night, I allowed myself to forget about everything else except for the fact that I loved Jace and that he loved me. His love could distract me from everything else. And it did. I was consumed in him and his body and I let myself forget.

I would be lying if I said that him and the way he made me feel was anything less than wonderful. I, still to this day, love him and I always will. That is what I told him when we woke the next morning. He kissed me and smiled the most wonderful smile at me and the only thing I felt when I looked back at him was heartbreak. Knowing that this would be the last time I would kiss him. The last time I could claim him as mine. The last time I would allow him to touch me like he did. The last time I would allow myself to feel so much love for him, that it felt like my heart would burst.

The fact of the matter was that I was also in love with Sebastian and I promised to marry him. I promised myself and his parents that I would find him and bring him back to us and save him. That I would make him himself again. When I told Jace this, another part of me died on the inside and I tucked it away into a corner with the pieces of my heart where my parents and friends that I lost were. That is where I would keep them till the day I died. I don't like to think about the look on his face or the way he schooled his expression into one of determination of not trying to hurt me anymore by making me watch his heart break. He just kissed me one more time and then told me he understood and then walked out of my door.

Since then, I have thrown myself into anything and everything to distract myself from the pain I have felt. I have made it my soul purpose in life to bring my world back to peace and to find Sebastian and bring him back to me. I know that he would never give up on me and I, in return, will never give up on him. I love him and he loves me. That is why I still wear his ring and I still consider myself engaged to him. I will bring him back to me and his parents and then we will be married. That picture is the only thing I have allowed myself to hold onto to keep me sane. That I will get him back and we will live in our own little version of happily ever after. That is, if he forgives me for sleeping with Jace. I plan on telling him this and then let him decide if he still wants me. I refuse to keep anything from him. I will not build our life on a lie. He will know everything and he will make an informed decision. He deserves to know who he is marrying.

With that being said, I stand here today and watch Sebastian leave his camp from the safety of our war room. I see that he only has three other Asmodei with him and they are riding their horses to their meeting. I also know that four miles into their journey, Jace is waiting for him with fifteen of my best fighters and Magnus so he can portal him back here quickly. Izzy is, of course, in the room with me along with Adriana and Michael as they watch with baited breath for their son to return. We watch as Sebastian grins as the wind blows his dark hair in the wind as he rides, making him look so beautiful except for the way his mouth sneers as he grins. I can see the red runes of the Asmodei maring his beautiful body and making it something of darkness instead of light. I can see from the corner of my eyes a few tears slip down Adriana's face as she watches her son through the spy rune.

They have been riding for a while now and I know that Jace and his men are not far off. I know that the only reason Jace agreed to this mission is to make me happy by bringing him back. We haven't had any personal contact since that morning and all of our face to face contact has been very professional. With that being said, I still know that he is doing this for me.

"There they are." Michael says fervently as he points to the spy window. I look down and see that Sebastian has spotted Jace and his men. He quickly tries to turn his men and horse around to escape, seeing that they are outnumbered, but they quickly close him in. I can see the fury on Sebastian's face as he realizes that he is trapped. That is when Jace steps forward with a sword in his left hand.

"Sebastian," Jace says speaking loudly to him. "The Queen requests your presence which she will have one way or another. We can do this the easy way where you agree to come with us willingly, or we can fight you and your men until we tie you up and drag you to her. It's your choice."

Sebastian purses his lips into a hard line of frustration. I can see the wheels turning in his brain as he looks around him and tries to figure a way out of his situation. He does one full turn on his horse and then his expression changes all of a sudden. It goes from this angry, sneering look of disgust to this smirking and knowing look. He looks down at Jace and his mouth turns up only on one side and then he lets out a huff of a humorless laugh.

"I guess she just can't get enough of me." Sebastian says arrogantly. "Am I to be the consort to the Queen? Satisfy her physical needs?" His smile widens to a full on sinister smile. "I honestly wouldn't mind fucking her again and her tight little p..."

Jace angrily cuts him off as he clenches his jaw in anger. "That's enough!" he shouts to him.

I chance a look over to his parents standing only two feet away and see that their expressions are unreadable. I don't really like them being there as he talks about the sex life that we had and the little things he whispers to me about what it was like to be with me. I look back down to the spy window as I hear Sebastian laugh.

"Oh, that's right. You already know." Sebastian says as he looks down at Jace again. "You were the one who popped her cherry. You would know all about what I am saying." Sebastian is clearly enjoying the rise he is getting out of Jace as he watches his face contort into one of pain and rage. He looks up thoughtfully as he taps his finger to his chin and then looks back down to Jace as he says, "Are you still in love with her? Because if you are, that means that you are a pathetic excuse..."

Jace cuts him off again as he yells for his men to attack. I watch as the other men that he is with are pulled from their horses and killed and they pull Sebatian from his without a fight from him. They quickly bound his hands and shackle his feet as I notice that Jace and Sebastian have never broken eye contact since they began to talk. During the whole brief altercation and him being cuffed, they never broke eye contact. Both of them refusing to back down.

I watch as Magnus steps forward, his hands already sparking blue, and see him open a portal. We all step back away from where they are planning to come through into the room and I see Adriana grip Michael's hand like she is holding onto a flotation device and she is drowning. I square my shoulders and school my face into one of indifference while on the inside, my heart is racing at an unbelievable pace and my nerves are practically shot. I begin to get a sheen of sweat on my forehead because of the sweat and nervousness and quickly wipe it away as I see the portal open inside of the room. A few of the fighters file through and then there is Jace, holding onto Sebastian's arms as he directs him forward.

The moment I see Sebastian and realize that he is in the same room with me again, I have to overwhelming urge to run to him. My heart is pounding in my stomach and I begin to shake with anticipation and nervousness at his presence. I watch him while I hold my breath as his eyes scan the room until they find me. His brown eyes lock with my green ones and he smirks that unfamiliar smirk of the Asmodei version of Sebastian I have seen too much in the past month. I really hate that fucking smirk.

"There she is!" Sebastian shouts theatrically. "You just couldn't keep away from me. I knew I was good in bed but I had no idea that I was so good, that you would take it upon yourself to shackle me up and bring me back." He licks his lips and winks at me. "Don't worry baby. I won't let you down. I have learned quite a few new moves since that last time."

I am proud of myself that I haven't let any of the emotions inside of me slip through my indifferent facade. Adriana is quietly sobbing into Michael's shoulder as she peaks up at the warped version of her son. "Mom...Dad. Long time no see." he says to them and then looks back to me. I motion towards to table where we strategize our war plans and say, "Strap him to the table."

Jace pushes Sebastian onto the table while some of the other men come to the other side of the table and pull him into the middle of it and then toss electrum ropes over his body. "Ooooh. _Kinky_." he says as he smiles over to me in what I assume is supposed to be a sexy look. "I didn't know you were into bondage and voyeurism. If I knew we were going to have an audience, I would have fixed my hair."

I quickly still my shaking hands as I reach for my stele and I take a deep breath to try and calm myself. I look up to Jace and the others in the room and say, "You can leave us now. Thank you boys." They all nod in unison, including Jace, and turn and walk towards to door. I can see from the corner of my vision that Jace looks at me one last time and pain once more flashes across his face. I know that part of him wants to punch himself for bringing Sebastian back to me so I can be with him while the other part of him just wants to make me happy. I clamp down on my own pain at losing him and seeing his pained expression and focus myself on Sebastian.

The door closes with a final click, leaving just me, Izzy, Adriana, and Michael in the room. I can see the confused expression cross Sebastian's face and before he can ask anything, I give Izzy a look and she rips his shirt open. I swiftly lean forward with the stele he gave me and put it to his chest.

"What in the hell are you doing?" he shouts as he tries to thrash. The electrum ropes are too tight and he barely budges. He stops struggling and looks down to see what I am quickly drawing on him. "Heavenly fire?!" he shouts in confusion and astonishment; but it is too late. I pull the stele back and watch as the golden rune sinks into his skin and turns black as his eyes fly open with the pain of the fire beginning to spread. I step back away from him as his screams begin to fill the room. "Sebastian!" I yell at him. "Look at me!" He squeezes his eyes shut tight and I can see the fire spreading through him. I watch as one by one, the red runes of the Asmodei disappear, starting from his chest and I yell one more time. "Sebastian, look at me!"

He unwillingly turns his head and locks eyes with me. "I'm here." I say quieter to him. "Just hold on a little bit longer." His eyes scrunch together in frustration and pain and then he lets out an earsplitting howl and then his body begins to shutter. He sucks in a sharp breath and breaks his eye contact with me and squeezes them shut tightly as his screaming dies down...and then there is silence. I see the glowing of the fire leave his body and then he is perfectly still. I wait for a few seconds for any sign of life, but none come. I hear Adriana shout her son's name in a panic and then I find myself climbing onto the table. I scramble over to him and put my hands on either side of his face. "Sebastian?" I say questioningly with a hint of panic in my voice. I let go of his face and pull my stele out again and quickly draw an iratze on his chest and then look back up to his face. My legs are curled up under me and I am on the table to his right side just waiting for anything to happen. I reach up and brush the hair out of his eyes and I lean down to rest my forehead against his; willing him to wake up.

"Please, please, please." I chant in a whisper against his lips. They are brushing his lightly and then he sucks in a deep and sharp breath. It startles me and I snap up and look down to him. His eyes are still shut tight as he begins to cough. I lean down again and put my hands on either side of his face once more and hold his head still. "Sebastian?" I whisper to him. "Is it you?"

He licks his lips when the coughing subsides and then cracks one eye open slowly. I turn his face to me and look into the eye that is now open as the other slowly finds it's way open also. "Please tell me it's you." I whisper to him. I can't think about it not working. The pain of losing him again would be too devastating for me and his parents.

"Clary?" his hoarse voice croaks out. "It's me." His eyes open fully and I look deep into them to study them. The Asmodei version of Sebastian had cold lifeless brown eyes and when he would look at me, they would hold nothing but indifference or disdain to me. I have to see if that has changed. "I promise, it's me." he whispers more fervently this time. I hold his face still and lean forward to study his eyes and that is when I see it. The recognition in his eyes and the glint of love starting to build deep in them.

"Is it really you?" I whisper to him as a tear escapes my eyes. He looks down at the tear rolling down my cheek and that is when I see it. I watch as the love he has for me bubbles back up to the surface and his eyes fill with the love and adoration and every other emotion he has for me. "It is." he says again. "I love you, Clary. I knew you wouldn't give up on me." I smile a stupid goofy smile of happiness and then I lean forward and kiss his lips. I pull back after a few seconds and see that he has let a few tears slip and I quickly look over to Izzy and say, "Untie him!"

She suddenly busies herself with the electrum rope that is holding him to the table while I reach down and get to work drawing an open rune on the shackles on his feet. His mother runs to the other side of the table and climbs on it as well and begins to place kisses all over his face as she sobs with happiness. When the lock snaps open, I quickly scramble back up to his face on top of the table and pull the ropes as they come loose. His hands are still cuffed behind his back when he sits up and I raise up on my knees and wrap my arms around his neck. I bury my face into the crook of his neck and squeeze him tightly and then I feel his arms suddenly around me. I peek an eye open to see that his mother has let his hands loose and then he is practically crushing me with the force of his hug and I don't even care. I pull back and bring my lips to his and place kiss after kiss on them as my hands move to his face. I lean back with a wide smile on my face and tears streaming down my cheeks and wipe away the tears that have left his eyes with my thumbs.

"It's you. It's really you!" I whisper yell as I look into the familiar brown eyes that I fell in love with. He pulls me into him again and kisses me passionately for a few seconds and then pulls back to look me in the eyes. "I am so sorry, Clary. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have let them take me. I shouldn't have let Sophie make me drink from that forsaken cup."

"Shhh. You have nothing to apologize for." I tell him sternly. "None of it was your fault. And anyway, it doesn't matter now. I have you back and I am never going to let you go again." I pull him into another deep kiss and his large hands splay on my back and he presses my body into his. He pulls back slightly and rests his forehead against mine and whispers over and over again, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"I love you more." I say back to him and he lets out a small breathy laugh before he says, "Not possible."

I let go of him and smile as Adriana pulls him to her and lets out a relieved happy sob and he whispers "It's okay, mom." She grips him tighter as Michael walks forward and wraps them both in his arms. I watch them as they hold each other and cry happy tears and I look back to Izzy who is smiling warmly at the scene in front of her.

I let out a long deep breath that I didn't know I was holding and the ten ton weight that has been on my shoulders for the past four months disappears. I turn back to Sebastian and I know that I made the right decision. I am still madly in love with him and I still want to marry him. I know that I love Jace too, but I have finally allowed myself let him go. This will be a new start for Sebastian and I and I will not mess things up with him. I touch his ring on my finger absentmindedly and smile at the thought of being able to be with him again. I have gone too long without him and my heart has suffered because of it. I can feel it stitching itself back together ever so slightly as I finally allow myself to feel some relief and happiness after so much sadness over the past five months. I look over at Sebastian as he slides off of the table and then turns around quickly and grabs my hand and pulls me off of the table and into his arms. My feet don't even touch the ground as he crushes me to him and he begins to laugh giddily as he spins me around. I pull back and he sets me down onto the tips of my toes and then he is kissing me passionately. His lips crash to mine and after a few desperate kisses, his tongue slides along my lips and I part them for him. His tongue brushes against mine and after a few seconds of furious kissing and hands sliding roughly all over each other, I hear his father clear his throat and Sebastian slows his lips. He and I refuse to break apart for about ten more seconds and then we finally pull away; both of us breathing heavily. His breath mixes with mine as we rest our heads against each other and we wait to look at anyone else until our breathing slows to a normal rate.

His lips tug up into a small smile as he says, "Damn, I have missed you."

I smile and laugh breathily back to him. "Not as much as I have missed you." I reply to him as I drag my hands down his face and onto his neck. "But there will be time for all of that later." I say and raise my eyebrows knowingly at him. He seems to catch my drift and smiles sexily down at me before he takes my hand and turns to face his parents. "I am so glad that none of you gave up on me." he says as his voice is thick with emotion. "I am so glad to be _me_ again." I watch as his smile fades and his face turns to one of sadness as I can see his mind drifting to another place. "I did things that I can't even begin to ask forgiveness for while I was Asmodei."

"Shh." I say to him as I turn his face to mine. "That wasn't you. That was Lilith's blood that made you do those things. This," I put my hand over his heart, "this is who you are. The way you are now is who you are. Not how you were just a few minutes ago. And none of us are going to hold anything you did against you while you weren't yourself."

He brings his hand to rest over mine that is on his chest and his eyes grow incredibly soft as he says while looking into my eyes, "I still don't know how I got so lucky and now I am positive that I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that, Sebastian." I tell him sternly. "I am pretty sure that I am the one who doesn't deserve you." The image of me in bed with Jace during my first night as Queen flashes behind my eyes and I know that I am the one that is right. Not him.

He leans down and cups my face gently as his lips brush softly against mine. "I am absolutely exhausted and I really would like to go to bed, if that is alright with everyone." he says as he looks to his parents and to me. His mother steps forward smiling sweetly at him and puts her hand on his cheek as she says, "Of course, my darling boy." She reaches up and kisses him on his cheek and then his father pulls him into a deep hug and I hear him whisper, "I love you son." and then they both kiss me on my cheek and leave the room.

I look up to him and touch his face and then I pull him to the door. We leave the room and are given a few smiles by the rest of my personal guard (Luke included) and Sebastian receives a few 'welcome back's' from them and then I lead him to my bedroom. Well, I guess now it is _our_ bedroom. We finally reach the doors to the bedroom and I quickly shove him in the room and shut the doors behind me. When I turn around, Sebastian is right there and he grabs me by my ass and picks me up as he crashes his lips to mine. The kiss he gives me is loving and full of desire and it nearly takes my breath away. I pull back and put my hands on his shoulders when he tries to pull me back to him. I have to tell him. I can't make love to him while I am holding my secret. I don't want him to feel like I tricked him into sleeping with me by not letting him have the choice to reject me because of what I have done. "I have to tell you something before I can go any further with you." I say to him as I close my eyes while holding him at bay. "You deserve to know something I did. Something that might change the way you feel about me."

Sebastian scrunches his brows together in confusion then sets me down. "Nothing could change the way I feel about you, Clary." he says adamantly.

"You might change your mind after I tell you what I need to tell you." I swallow hard past the huge lump in my throat. I briefly think about not telling him and risk being rejected. The only people that know about what happened between me and Jace are me and Jace and Izzy. I could go on and pretend it never happened and no one would be the wiser. Jace would never tell anyone and neither would Izzy. I let myself entertain that idea for a few seconds before I angrily shake my head to try and get the idea out of my head. If I waited any longer to tell him, I would be the one being dishonest and that is one character trait that I don't want to be associated with.

I pull on Sebastian's hand as I pull him over to the sitting area in our room and sit on the couch. He takes the spot right next to me and I pull his hand that I am holding into my lap. I haven't made eye contact with him since we walked over here and I can see him trying to dip his head to see what expression is on my face. I have to tell him. And I have to look him in the eyes as I do. I am not a coward and I will somehow find the courage to look into his eyes as I tell him.

I lick my lips and swallow hard one last time and then I look up at him and meet his gaze. The moment he sees the look on my face, he pales slightly. He can see just how serious I am and just how scared I am and he knows that whatever I am about to tell him is no joke. "Sebastian..." I begin and I choke up a little before I force myself to continue. "the night of the fight when they took you and we got back here, was a really hard night. The moment the portal closed, I saw that Jace was hurt badly and I put an iratze on him. Then Izzy came up to me and..." I drop my gaze from his eyes and allow myself a moment to steady my emotions about the loss of my mother. They are still raw and bleeding and still only have just a superficial bandaid on it. I take a deep breath and stop the tears from falling and look back up to meet Sebastian's curious eyes. "I saw my mother dead on the ground in Jonathan's arms...just after I had watched you be turned into Asmodei and my friend Jordan die." I let a tear roll from my face and Sebastian brings his hand up and wipes it away. "I was absolutely devastated. I felt so much sadness and then I just felt numb. I felt that no matter what I did, I was failing somebody. I failed to protect my mother and I failed to protect you and Jordan..."

"Clary, none of that was your fault." he says earnestly as he places his hands on either side of my face and looks deep into my eyes.

I shake my head gently as I remove his hands from my face. "That is not what I am trying to tell you." His face scrunches up in confusion as I continue. "We had my mother's funeral and then the next day, I was crowned Queen. At this point, the pain of the loss of you and my mother and everything else was becoming too much. I was afraid I was either going to be crushed by it or just become this numb, unfeeling robot that just resembled a living being. And so I did something..." I swallow hard once more. "something that I thought would help me not feel all of the pain anymore...if only for a little while. I was weak and selfish and...I cheated on you." His eyes widen in shock. "I slept with Jace. I wanted him to make me forget about everything for just a little while and I know that that is absolutely no excuse for what I did. I will completely understand if you don't want to be with me anymore and I will let you go if that is what you want."

Sebastian's face has moved past shock and into a very unfamiliar blank one. "Do you love him?" he asks blankly. I am a little caught off guard by his question and as I open my mouth to answer, he speaks again. "I saw the way you looked at him after he brought you back and I wondered if you began to feel the same way about him as he felt about you."

"Yes, I do love him." I say, refusing to be a coward and choosing to have the back bone to tell him the truth. "But I have let him go. After that night, I told him that we could never be together because I was yours. I had promised to marry you and that I actually _wanted_ to marry you, treaty or not. I haven't spoken privately to him since then. He has helped with the war effort and we have worked together, but it hasn't gone any further than that." My eyes dart in between the two of his trying to figure out what he is thinking and feeling but he is still wearing that hard mask and gives no indication of how he really feels away. "I want to be with you, Sebastian. Not him...and if you can forgive me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

My panic starts to set in as he still hasn't said a word since I told him I loved Jace. The only solace and shred of hope that I have is that he is still allowing me to hold his hand in my lap. "I am _so_ sorry, Sebastian." I say to him, willing him to say something...anything back to me. Shout at me, yell at me, throw things at me...anything other than nothing. " _Please_ say something." I whisper as the tears start to roll freely down my cheeks. I can hear the fear and panic in my own voice when I speak and I suddenly feel like my heart is starting to pull apart again.

I finally get him to respond to me as he brings his other hand to my lap and rests it over my hands as his face starts to regain emotion. "I am not going to say that I am not hurt by what you just told me, because that would be a lie." he says lowly as he drops his eyes to look at our hands that are tangled together. "But I think I can understand why you did it. You felt completely alone and were in pain and just wanted to forget for while about everything. Am I right?" he asks. I nod my head in agreement as more tears pour down my face. "And I can't really fault you for loving him because you can't control who you fall in love with." He looks back up into my eyes as he says this next part. "But I can forgive you for it. I believe you when you say that it was only that one night. I believe you when you say that you told him what you told him. And in some weird messed up way, I am grateful for him helping you through that when I couldn't." He brings his hand up to my face and strokes my cheek gently. "I love you, Clary. And I don't want to throw away what we have and _could_ have together because of one night when you were at your absolute lowest and you tried to find a way to keep your head above the water." He drops his gaze from my face and I can see shame spread across his face. "And besides," he says lowly, "I haven't exactly been faithful either. When I was Asmodei, I...slept with a few women.."

I cut him off. "I know." I tell him and his head snaps up. "I will explain how I know later but the person who did that, wasn't you. I won't hold that against you and as of now, it's forgotten because I know that you would never cheat on me if you were in your right mind."

"And neither would you, Clary." Sebastian says sternly. I open my mouth to say that I was still myself when he cuts me off. "No, you weren't yourself. You were a shell of yourself because of everything you had just lost. You lost your friend, me and your mother and then had to be crowned Queen and take responsibility for an entire race of people. So no, you were not yourself when you did what you did."

I let out a huff of a humorless laugh before I say, "We are definitely _not_ a normal couple." His mouth turns up on one side as he reaches up to touch my face again. " _That_ , we most certainly are not." he says as his fingers wipe away my tears. "Why don't we just start over." Sebastian suddenly offers with eagerness in his voice. "Pretend that the past few months in our relationship were just a really bad nightmare and wipe the slate clean like it never happened. Like we left off from the Institute in Nashville."

I smile up at him and let the love I have for him flow through my eyes and into him. "I think I like that idea." Sebastian leans down and kisses me gently and my heart pitter-patters in my chest at the tenderness of it. I expected him to pull away rather quickly but he surprises me by continuing to kiss me sweetly. I raise my hand up and tangle it in his hair and he slides his hands around to my back and presses me against his chest. He holds me tight for a few minutes as we kiss tenderly and then I feel his arm slip under the back of my knees while the other one slides under my arms and he scoops me up, bridal style, and carries me over to the bed.

He lays me gently down onto the bed and then he is there with me. He breaks away from my lips and then begins to place gentle soft kisses down my jaw and onto my neck. He slides his hand under my shirt and pulls it slowly over my head and then he removes his shirt and reveals his beautiful toned chest that I have missed so much. I run my fingers gently down it and his eyes close and he sighs a contented sigh as I drag my fingers lower and lower. "I love you." I whisper to him. His eyes slowly open and he looks back at me. "And I love you." he replies in almost a whisper and then brings his lips to mine and pulls me into him. We make the most beautiful and tender love after that and then we fall into a deep and peaceful sleep.

* * *

 **Seven years later...**

I watch as my beautiful daughter Jo (short for Jocelyn) starts to take her first steps. "Go on, baby girl." I say encouragingly to her. "Walk to daddy." Jo giggles wildly and smiles hugely as she lets go of my hand and steps toward Sebastian. His returning smile if so full of love and adoration to her it makes my heart soar with love for him. That is when our little tornado named Nathan comes barreling through. He just turned two and he swings his sword at Sebastian's back and lands a blow to him as he shouts, "I got you, Daddy!" He is practically a spitting image of his father except for the fact that he inherited my green eyes.

"You did!" Sebastian shouts as Jo falls forward laughing and he catches her as she claps her hands together. She is used to getting applause when she tries to walk and she is not going to let us get away with not giving her any after taking four whole steps. "Good job, honey!" Sebastian says and brings her in for a kiss. Nathan runs in circles around them holding his sword like his daddy taught him and I can't help but laugh at the scene in front of me. Sebastian reaches his long arm out and catches Nathan on his next pass and pulls him into him while holding Jo in his other arm. "Gotcha!" he says and Nathan lets out the most adorable giggles.

A lot has happened in the past seven years. We won the war against the Asmodei about a year after it started and banished the Asmodei back to their planet. There is now a discussion going around that we should go over there and destroy them so that they may never be able to hurt any other race ever again. I am not sure how I feel about that so I will just let my people decide and then when they do, I will then make up my mind on if I will follow through with it or not since I will be the one to use my powers to win against them. But then again, if we were to go to their home and take it over and kill them all, then how could we consider ourselves any better than them?

Other than that, my life is absolutely amazing right now. I have two beautiful and smart children and a wonderful and handsome husband. Jace is also married. The first time I saw her, a part of me wanted to rip her face off but I quickly reminded myself I had no right to feel that way. I chose to be with Sebastian and I don't regret that decision for one second. She is pregnant with their first child and I am finally in a place where I can be happy for him. Her name is Sarah and she seems to make him happy and that is all that I can ask for at this point.

Through all of the heartbreak and pain we all caused each other, we all managed to find our own happiness in the end. I sure did make a mess of things in the beginning but I wouldn't have it any other way. What happened made me who I am today and I like who I am. I am strong, confident, loyal, and I have an unbelievable appreciation of the things and people I have in my life today.

I lean forward and plant a kiss on Sebastian's lips because I just really wanted to. He is a wonderful father and husband and he makes me so happy that sometimes I just have to kiss him. When I pull back he says, "I love you too." and I smile at him. Everything worked out for the best of all of us personally and I have finally restored my people to their home planet. I like to think that my mother would be proud of me and everything I have managed to accomplish in just a few short years but I guess I will never really know.

"Come on, kids." I say to my babies and Sebastian. "We have to go see Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Tessa for lunch and you, Nathan, will get to play with your cousin, Valentine." I scoop my son into my arms as he yells with excitement and I carry him out of the living area with my husband and our fiery haired girl in his arms and into our own version of happily ever after.

* * *

 **Sorry to disappoint the Clace shippers on this story. I happen to be a Clace shipper...except in this story. My other stories are hard core Clace. In this story, Sebastian was too perfect and Clary had already committed to him when she finally realized that she loved Jace. I like my Clary to be deathly loyal to her word and she gave Sebastian her word so it was always going to end in some version of this.**

 **My next story is going to be very mature and is going to be a Clonathan one. I like to write smut and my past two stories have seriously been lacking in the smut department in my opinion and I need to let my sick and twisted freak flag fly for a while.**

 **With that being said, thank all of you again for reading my story. I really, really appreciate every single one of you that take time out of your day to read it. I also love all of the reviews and feedback that I get. Even if it is not so great...but please try to be nice and not nasty.**

 **Till next time!**

 **ReadingIsForNerds**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey guys! I just wanted to drop a line and tell you that I have a new story! It is called Jonathan's Secret and is rated M for a very big reason. When ya'll get a chance, you should go and check it out. I just posted it last week and I already have seven chapters up and am cranking out more everyday as usual. Ya'll know I pump out long chapters almost everyday so you won't have to wait forever to find out what happens. It is currently a Clonathan story but Jace is coming into the story real soon to shake things up as he always does.**

 **Anyway, I hope you check out my brand new story. It's a steamy one and I still have a lot planned for it. Thanks a bunches in advance!**


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